PLANE CRAZY

To be printed in the FA Cup 4th Qualifying round game v Enfield Town Saturday 11th October 2025

Bedfont Sports away in the FA Cup 3rd Qualifying Round. One of those games that serve up all the right ingredients for a proper day out.

A new place to visit. With planes flying so close you could bathe in the engine fuel and two Bedfont football clubs; not so much near neighbours, as partners who sleep in the same house but separate bedrooms. And the added bonus of a Desi pub. A Desi pub is an Asian owned boozer where you can get a curry and a pint which the Slough lot took serious advantage off. Except for Jonathan who went for that well known Asian speciality, fish and chips. With fish which had no doubt been sitting at the back of their freezer for years. He didn’t even have curry sauce with it.

We’d been to Bedfont before; well the other Bedfont. It was the last time most of us saw Chris Sliski alive. I remember peering over a wall and seeing another ground and getting an impolite answer from a Bedfont official what he thought of their new neighbours. Sports who were only formed in 2002 have powered up the leagues thanks to the vision of one man David Reader. With a team of volunteers and help from the local council and raising more than £1.3 million, they built the club from next-to-nothing, with the aim of giving children in the community somewhere to play with the very best facilities. Twenty years ago the Hatton Road Recreation Ground was derelict. Today it has a smart clubhouse with a 3G pitch surrounded with over 750 seats in 10 different stands and covered terraces on all four sides of the ground. David Reader passed away in 2020, but with more than 20 junior teams plus ladies, men's' and Sunday league set-ups, his legacy was there for us all to see.

A litmus test that we’ve never played a team before is the appearance of Alan ‘Slough Town database’ Smith. Alan also informed me this was the first team with Sports in their name we’ve played since Bradwell Sports in the 1930’s who were a works team based on the Farnham Road that built the Manor Park estate. Now I bet you didn’t know that.

Over land, sea (well a canal) buses, cars, taxis and Terminal 5 – all the joys of Heathrow without the holiday – hundreds of the Rebel Rabble descended, battling the rugby crowds as they cheered England on to victory.

I got chatting to a few heading to the rugby and they said they stopped watching football because it was too tribal. But there was none of that at the Bedfont game. A couple of us entered the ground early to beat the queues and then found ourselves back at main bar with no way of showing we had already paid. When Sports officials realised their mistake they turned to Trusty Richard Kendall who asked those that had already paid to swap their glass for plastic and make there way to the side door. Relying on peoples honesty, he believed everyone did the right thing. Depriving smaller clubs of matchday revenue is not the done thing. Which is the only reason we drink at games. It’s our way of supporting other football clubs.

As for the match, we had a scare or two, our keeper was red carded but eventually we came through and here we are now with the first round proper – were the previous rounds improper? - dangling tantalizing in front of our faces.

What I also liked about Bedfont Sports was the lack of visible stewarding; stewards so often cause the problems they are there to stop. I think in the main Slough Town supporters can police ourselves and honourable mention to Hampton as well who let us enjoy the game against them. Three points and no hassle – well apart from another poxy rugby game at Twickenham swamping public transport.

Which is why its a real shame today's game against Enfield Town is once again segregated. I think it created more problems in the league game than it was there to solve. It creates an us and them mentality and I like chatting to opposition supporters – especially ones like those from Enfield who set up the first ever supporters owned club in the country. It’s one of the reasons many of us like going to lower league football.

And while promotion for some is the dream it was taking a look at one of the articles in the excellent ‘Where's the Bar’ fanzine from a Maidenhead supporter whose stopped going to away games because it became apparent that being a football fan was the same as being a criminal; except you are guilty until proven innocent. And trying to get a drink, some decent food, celebrating a goal, standing up, or just breathing was a step too far for so many who love the power a uniform gives them.

With increasing popularity and bigger crowds, it’s inevitable that it will attract some idiots. So how to deal with these? Our stewards are the friendliest around but sometimes – like with Maidstone and Borehamwood last season – they should have thrown their loudmouths out. It clearly states in our programme foul and abusive language and generally acting like a prat will get you an early exit. So off you trot.

A few of us had watched Chatham home game highlights before we went to last seasons FA Cup game. They had a real problem with 10 year olds who seemed high on haribos. But when we arrived, their supporters couldn’t have been friendly – well apart from one lad who threw a Percy Pig sweet at me, presumably cos I looked hungry. At the end he came over and apologised. As for the hooligan nappy firm? They had been banned from coming to games because of their behaviour. Problem solved.

So here’s to us getting behind the team and getting Arbour Park rocking. Because make no mistake, this is a massive game. So let’s be the Slough that are loud and proud, have fun and enjoy the rollercoaster that is the FA Cup 4th Qualifying.

WAVING THE FLAG FOR SLOUGH TOWN

 

Printed in the National League South game v Hornchurch Saturday 20th September 2025. We lost 5-2 in front of 782

If you really want to see what we are up against in this league then I present Torquay as my evidence. As we ambled into town, splendid in the September evening sunshine, it looked picture postcard perfect with buildings perched on the hills overlooking the bay. The waterfront seems to have a new lease of life as we sipped our beers alfresco. The football club has also had a fresh injection of life after all their troubles. They are firing on all cylinders and are my favourites to win the league.

As we settled into Friday night there was a new face at our table.

It transpired that James aka Jimmy the Mullet was so fed up with the Slough performance at Torquay last season that he went on tinder. Fast forward a few months and chats on the phone and he’s meeting his date in town – with me, Vinny and Gaz as the gooseberries.

Its a well known fact that you are never more than 10 feet away from someone who has a connection to Slough. As we prattled on about football, suddenly the bouncer announced she was from Britwell but left when she was 11 – and really shouldn’t we leave them on their first date and drink elsewhere. Which was sensible advise as James whispered into his dates ear ‘Me and you are a product of a rubbish Slough performance.’ How romantic.

The next day, the Rebel Rabble gathered in a local boozer; but not so many in town this time – just 69 to be precise. Devon is bloody miles away and it wasn’t so long since we’ve been to Eastbourne. We agreed that this was a free hit but we got off to the worst possible start as Torquay carved their way through our defence. The pitch is perfect rather than previous quagmire, they’ve got massive support and to be fair Torquay supporters are always friendly and happy to chat and the security much better behaved this time. They looked the best team by a country mile in that first 30 minutes, but Slough did open them up and if we could have got a third by half time then who knows what might have happened. Instead we made the long journey home empty handed – well apart from James.

Welling United away probably wasn’t the FA Cup football romance we were hoping for. But I doubt they were massively impressed either with drawing us.

Welling is still a proper high street – with ten pubs if you count the two microbreweries and British Legion – from the train station to the ground, making it a decent away day. But it really wasn’t a surprise they were relegated last season. Their ground – with promises every year that it was going to be redeveloped – is falling to pieces. Last season Clubshop Sue managed to dislodge a drainpipe while grabbing hold off it to stop falling over some rubble. There’s scaffolding and boarded off areas; it’s in need of some serious investment.

We also need some serious investment in this country, and the Elizabeth Line is the perfect example of how new infrastructure can help transform the places its serves. But there is something making people profoundly unhappy and angry about everything. Social media really ain’t helping as those algorithms fuel the flames. This week the inventor of the World Wide Web – who gave his invention away for free - said these addictive algorithms cause polarisation and should be banned for children. We don’t let kids drink or smoke so why do we give them access to so much misery and violence? Others seem to be stuck in a rose tinted view of the past. Look I had a brilliant time growing up in Slough but nearly every party I went too, every gig I put on ended up in disrupted by the local gangs. Football was a battleground until rave music came along and turned everyone peaceful!

We want our country back! From what? From who? Being married to someone whose Jewish I’m very wary when people point at others and declare their country would be better off without them. We’ve heard that rhetoric not so long ago and it didn’t end well.

But I get people feel powerless, Our public services have been flogged off and profits diverted not into making things better but into shareholders pockets (£200 billion since you ask). Our youth clubs, pubs and places where people meet have been closed, bills keep going up, social housing has been sold off but the money raised wasn’t allowed to be spent on new houses. Infact everything has been stripped out to make more profit. It’s been going on for 40 years and it feels like this is the end game.

As I’ve said many a time, football is one of those ways to bring people together. As we all stood on the terraces teasing, cajoling, singing, wishing John the Trip happy birthday (and who wouldn’t want to spend their birthday with the Rebel Rabble). Then groaning at a last minute penalty to force a replay.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t be angry, but cheering on people whose whole purpose is to create hate and division. No thanks. Surely its better for the soul – and the country – to get involved in the thousands of community groups across the country working together to make things better?

I love England. But the England I love is tolerant, playful, creative; about having a beer in a pub and taking the mick out of your mates. And of course moaning about the weather. Or your football team.

Right I’m off for a curry.

BUILDING ON THE FUTURE, REMEMBERING THE PAST

 

Printed in the FA Cup 2nd Qualifying round replay v Welling United Tuesday 16th September 2025  We won 1-0 in front of 450

“Nothing would change in this world if it wasn’t for the doers and dreamers, the people who carry on with what they believe in when others have thrown in the towel. Chris Sliski was one of those people.

For nearly fifty years Chris supported his club Slough Town and helped shape and build it through its many ups and downs. He always seemed to be there with his trade mark ‘boot’, wading through nettles to rescue another mis-kicked ball.

He always had a smile on his face and through our darker periods when you felt like giving up he would offer little nuggets of news to cheer us up and think just maybe the good times were around the corner.

Nothing was too much trouble for him and he would make any supporter, old timer or new on the scene, welcome. There was no cliqueness with Chris, no ‘you scratch my back.’ He wasn’t flash, he wasn’t rich just an honest, hard grafting, working class man who touched hundreds of lives.”

These were the words I spoke at Chris Sliski’s funeral 13 years ago.

So it was an honour to be given the Chris Sliski Memorial Shield at the end of season awards. Oh and a mini bin. An award that’s been given to supporters since 2011 for services to Slough Town, with lots of old names on their, some of them sadly no longer with us like Dave ‘the programmes’ Piercy and Noreen Bridle. I really don’t think I deserved it if I’m honest. Yes I come from Brighton to games; but there’s plenty of other people who put in the miles to get to games. Yes I write for the programme and help get the atmosphere going and often have in depth discussions about the merits of using bins as percussion instruments with grumpy stewards.

The late great Chris Sliski was one of a kind – Mr. Slough Town kept the club going especially during our darkest days. After my award his wife Julie commented ‘it’s hard to go to matches wondering if anyone realised just how much he did..but he would have been happy just knowing Rebels’ were back in Slough…x’ Julie kicked the first ball at Arbour Park and its great the club now have a memorial wall and honoured past footballing legend Terry Reardon.

The club are blessed with so many individuals who put in so many hours. People like Keith Philips who has supported the team for ever and who last year was putting together some great historical articles together for the programme - reminding us just how many inventions has come from the town. Like an early Silicon Valley. As the song goes – ‘Zebra crossings, Thunderbirds, MarsBars and Bins….but that doesn’t even touch the – we discovered Uranus - sides. Keith's eyes haven’t been so good lately so he’s having a rest from writing but I recently asked him the sort of thing he did for the club

Keith replied “Off the top of head I’ve..

Helped with new Rebels bar.

Fitted out Sue’s new shop.

Refurb Kev McGoldrick’s medical room.

Refurb kit room.

Plumbing repairs.

Electrical repairs.

Furnishings repairs.

Painting.

Parking steward.

Litter picking.

Tournament helping.

Ball Boying trialist games.

Ball retrieve out of ground.

Beer lines clean (when Barry can’t help Mike).

Weeding the carparks.

Installing advertinsing signs and TV’s

Goal repairs.

Lights fitted in bin store.

Cutting back brambles etc.. although we now have landscapers.

Occasional post match cleaning of 1st floor kitchen, (we have a 5-star hygiene rating).

“And all travelling from Bracknell and back to boot! I’ve developed quite a sun tan in this close season being outside so plenty of natural vitamin D.

“Must say Ashley’s dad Alec (my partner in crime) has been a huge help also, he’s given up a lot of his time to help out. Many supporter’s are probably not aware of the work he puts in. He travels in from Hazlemere. He and his wife Amanda recently celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. They had a do at the club and I produced a playlist of their favourite songs.. voluntarily of course! They also had a harpist (a lady doctor) playing for about an hour, very soothing modern tunes. Didn’t think it’d be into it but was very good.

“Loads of other volunteers also putting shifts in behind the scenes to keep the club ticking over, all of whom are heroes. Let’s be honest were it not for all of us pulling together we wouldn’t have a football club.

“It was very encouraging to see some new faces turn up to our volunteer’s evening in a packed board room on 1 July. A very interesting and informative event held by Ashley and Steve.”

As the club grows it will be even more important to remember those that came before us. But also to welcome with open arms new supporters as they start to make memories as they cheer on the Rebels and build on the legacy of people like Chris Sliski.

REELING IN A BIG FISH

 

Printed in the National League South game v Chippenham Town Tuesday 2nd September 2025  We won 3-2 in front of 556

‘Ball hit bar, fans hit roof, feet hit the steps as a surge of stripes swept down onto the pitch, mobbing and sobbing, leaping and weeping, players held aloft, holding Harry Haddocks aloft, the ground throbbing. And the world outside our little window now sees what we see. Proper football in a proper ground with proper owners and proper fans.’

Breathless commentary on a night of thunderstorms and biblical rain. Grimsby Town v Manchester United in the League Cup where David v Goliath doesn’t even come close to describing the financial chasm between the clubs.

Most Slough supporters have got a soft spot for Grimsby after our FA Cup tussle with them. It started with Nick the Trumpets ‘A Welcome to You Grimsby’ and the banter between the supporters grew into respect. And most football supporters love an underdog story, and could not quite believe what we were seeing as Grimsby battered them. Like a rowing boat taking on one of those mega trawlers that destroy the whole sea ecosystem. But for once, the minnows won.

But how did they do it? They are building a model similar to what is happening at Slough, harnessing the power of the football club to change the fortunes of their town. A town that is stepped in the fishing industry but also needs to look at other opportunities if it is to thrive.

The clubs community partners include Navigo (mental health), East Marsh United (who tackle everything from housing, education to arts and a whole lot more) and the NSPCC, while the players support the Sunflowers Children's Action Group, a local charity for children suffering life limiting conditions. They have joined forces with Our Future , a project creating new and an extremely green economic model for England's post-industrial communities.

The club’s shirt sponsor is Myenergi, a local green business whose innovations include the Zappi, a solar electric vehicle charger and whose owner has rejected several offers to relocate the business abroad or elsewhere in the UK. “The talent in Grimsby is amazing. Other companies might manufacture overseas but if you invest in your local area you get so much more back. I love this town and the football club is its heartbeat.”

Kristine Green, part of the Grimsby Town and Common Good Foundations is responsible for the community organising that is instrumental in creating the ties binding the team to town. “Grimsby’s full of strong, intelligent people and the club helps them build trust and collaborate,” she says. “There’s no easier way of bringing people together than football; it gives them a voice.”

All these plans are now coming to fruition. “You get a sense this is your moment, we’ve got to seize it.”

And then a night like this comes along. As their manager put it ‘The beauty of working for a club like Grimsby Town is you can bring so much joy to the community’. But its more than that, you can change a place for the better. Beating one of the biggest football club in the world will have just turbo charged that vision.

In contrast Man United's American owners have bled the club dry while they stumble around like floundering fish cutting jobs and removing perks and penny pinching for the lowest paid; who don’t understand loyalty or supporting staff who earn in a year what some of their players earn in an a few days. These things really matter if you are trying to build a successful organisation.

So can a football club carry the place it represents on its shoulders? Can it remember its past while embracing future possibilities? I think it can, and with the right commitment, can break out from what happens on the pitch and lift and support all those other organisations trying to make a difference to peoples lives. I love what Grimsby Town are trying to achieve and if the whole town can also be given a new sense of optimism, better housing, more money in peoples pockets, more opportunities,, greener energy, then surely everyone is a winner? I think clubs like Grimsby can provide the inspiration for clubs like Slough Town where our smart owners continue to transform the football club and with it the place where it sits.

Whatever happens I will continue to admire the Mariners and see just how far a football club can shape and regenerate the place they call home.

THAT WINNING FEELING

Published in the National League South game v Enfield Town Saturday 30th August 2025  We drew 1-1 with a 97 minute equalizer in front of 800 people 

I know its stating the bleedin’ obvious but winning a game of football doesn’t half put a spring in your step. This no doubt seems puzzling for people who don't follow football; why would anyone let their state of mind be dictated by people kicking a ball around? It’s a valid point and I pondered all this as I headed to Eastbourne to bask in our three points against Ebbsfleet and meet some of the Rebel rabble who had decided to make a mini break of it. Pre-match pre-match drinks so to speak.

Those pre match meet ups give you a chance to get to know people you often just exchange handshakes with – hear their stories, find out about their life and what makes them tick. More than just 90 minutes on the pitch and all that. Infact The Ebbsfleet game was Slough Town at its finest, rolling out the red carpet to remember Mark Hunter and support his family and friends.

Now Eastbourne is a funny old place. It’s not so much Gods waiting room anymore but its pretty sleepy compared to its near neighbour Brighton, although the seagulls are starting to get more aggressive; dive-bombing anyone who has the cheek to walk along the street eating food. Like the seagulls Eastbourne is greedy - when it comes to football clubs. Although the town of 100,000 have finally settled on just three senior non league teams after Eastbourne United and Shinewater got married and Langley Wanderers disbanded after only 11 years existence. On the Bank Holiday Monday you could have ticked off Eastbourne Town, United and Borough who were all hosting games if you were that way inclined.

Last season Daniel Ford gorged himself on Eastbourne football - and I mean seriously, one-more-wafer-thin-mint gluttony, with a book that's fit to burst. 'Fish, Chips and football - a season by the seaside' details all 103 games he went too, from park football to National League South. Full of football history and quirks, I got my copy from a quirky sports memorabilia shop in Eastbourne - the type of place that is trying to shake up Eastbourne a bit. 

We left the friendly sports bar for a bit of a pub crawl and the last two pubs told us to keep the noise down, which gives you an idea of the town. But its Favoloso that I think really captures the place. A slightly faded grandeur Victorian style cafe dressed in knickerbocker glory opposite another grand old theatre house. Be rude not too. The Slough hoards then descended on the pier and joined in some pre match singing with the band. The game itself was hot and hard fought, our support never relented and we left with a decent kiss-me-quick point.

Supporting a football club, heading off across the country, or gorging on curry for breakfast at Slough home games, telling tall tales, or being told by Keith P. that he listened to a programme about roadkill and thought of me. I’m not sure if he was expecting me to turn up to Eastbourne, with a dead seagull strapped to my back with a half eaten doughnut hanging from its mouth, with me singing ‘whose laughing now.’

Before the Dorking game I decided I needed a day off work, visiting the coastline along Hastings before heading to Gatwick only for my train to come to a juddering halt. Points failure at Redhill turned 23 minutes into 2 hours. Points failure at Redhill is now so regular its like that recurring crap support band that turns up everywhere. There was no trains back to Brighton after 10 so the Turnstile Boys drove like Wacky Races to get me to Dorking Deepdeene to catch the delayed Gatwick service. How I laughed as I run up the wrong set of steps. Getting the train in this country is like some Aneka Rice ‘Treasure Hunt’ nightmare with my phone giving me clues if I will get home or not.

Marc White saying Dorking should be beating teams like Slough which even if true, shouldn’t really be said in polite company – then they duly lost to Hemel. Our 150 strong away following was relentless in its support, even if the team didn’t really lay a glove on Wanderers. Although I thought one older Dorking supporter was going to lay a glove on me, for suggesting they are loaded. But always in the back of my mind is what if The King of Dorking Mr.White gets hit by a bus?

And now onto Enfield. I’ll admit to having a soft spot for them being the first supporter owned club in the country and all that. That took some guts and determination. And with Jon Underwood, returning to Arbour Park as part of their management team. A chance for us to give him a belated thank you for how he and Neil Baker (and former chairman Steve Easterbrook) totally transformed the fortunes of our club.

It’s far, far too early to make sense of the league but it’s certainty a lot more pleasant not being bottom.

SERVING WITH HONOUR : THE MAN WITH THE CLIPBOARD

 

Printed in the National League South game v Ebbsfleet United on Saturday 23rd August 2025  We won 2-0 in front 796

Football is so much more than just ninety minutes on the pitch. And that was no more in evidence than last Saturday at Arbour Park.

But let’s rewind to the week before. First game of the season. Tonbridge Angels away. WhatsApp and social media buzzing with places to meet, drink and be merry. For those of us who didn’t make any friendlies, its been three months since I set my sore eyes on the Rebel Rabble.

I can almost get the bus to the ground from the bottom of my street, the Brighton ones winding their way to Tunbridge Wells before a short hop on the train. I managed to find the greasiest spoon with no fancy coffee, one tooth customers – including the dogs - wipe down tables and friendly chatter. Better than the sour dough, sour faced fancy pants cafe up the road that wanted £97 for a doorstep cheese toastie. I sat in the pub opposite the station while Tonbridge Pride weaved its way to the Castle. Presumably not to ransack it.

Me and Gaz the Sandwich (Formerly known as Gaz the Postie) hopped in a taxi and after the usual quiz from security about various musical instruments - ‘just leave me alone I’m a Morris dancer’ we joined the Slough massive in the bar. With a virtual new team, you can’t help be apprehensive, especially as every week another club in our league seems to be taking over by a rich benefactor. But blimey how quick they’ve gelled. A feast of fast flowing, in your face, attacking football where everyone scratched their heads wondering how it ended 0-0 and not with 3 points for the Rebels. Still, this was really promising.

Next up Arbour Park. Social media was alive again but this time because the supporters team were taking on a Football Managers Creators team. I’m not into computer games, and each to his own, but I really can’t get my head round people watching other people playing computer games. Still, I’m sure a few question my sanity spending my weekends watching Slough. The organiser WhyCallum had formed a bond with the club, he’d even managed one Slough game, and this was the next collaboration.

Scott McNeish head of the McNeish Media dynasty was manager and asked me to come along. He’d thrown together a rag tag of players, where dads and sons rubbed shoulders while Caz the Physio put down her two pints and rubbed magic dust into injured players – some like Cameron the Drummer broken before a ball was even kicked. I’m not sure what I was expecting but this was great fun.

There was some interesting wild card rules, where the opposition manager could sub three of our players for 10 minutes and if Superman scored a goal it counted as two! Slough really grew into the game, Alfie got a hatrick then lost his hair – much to his mums horror. Captain Martin set a world record giving away 3 penalties in one game while Andy the Plumber thought it was walking football,...but to be fair did lay on what should have been an assist for a goal (right you owe me a couple of beers now mate). Victory was sweet and companies spend thousands on trying to get this type of bonding.

Now onto the real match, which ended up being one of the worst games of football I’ve seen for a long time. In stark contrast to last weeks energy this game never got going and we lost 1-0. Our supporters never got going either - which was no doubt not helped by half of them suffering from exhaustion after their supporters game. Then the terrible news filtered through about Mark Hunter. The Hunters have been a massive part of the Slough Town family for ever. I remember Marks mum serving me sweets in the hatch at Wexham Park, Leigh goes home and away (and had just played a blinder for the supporters) and manages the Ladies team. As for Mark, well he had done just about every job possible – from kitman, chair of the supporters trust to his current role as matchday secretary. The man with the clipboard. A permanent fixture who had done so much to keep our club running over many, many years.

New research highlights that football fans feel increasingly disconnected from the modern game. Over half (53%) believe that high ticket prices are diminishing their enjoyment of the sport, with a staggering 81% not considering matches as good value for money. The research, commissioned by LiveScore and conducted by YouGov Sport, revealed the Saturday 3pm kick-off remains a firm favourite across football fans, with 58% choosing it as their top preference of match time, when it is becoming ever rarer.

This is of course music to the ears of lower league clubs who offer something different – and in Sloughs case free season tickets to anyone who plays for the club at any level. My eldest commented on just how many children were at the game.

The supporters match raised over £2000 for MIND the mental health charity and in a world where so many feel lonely, struggle with mental health, spend too long on increasingly angry social media – a football club is somewhere to go; where you can belong. Where people meet, make new friends, sort out their problems. With yet another survey bashing Slough in the headlines; this one saying it is amongst one of the least connected communities in England, what Slough Town Football Club does really matters.

No where was this more evident than how that support for Leigh galvanised so quickly, to support him and the Hunter family as best we can.

So today we pay our respects at the game for a man who truly served the club he loved with honour. RIP Mark Hunter

FA CUP PRIDE

 

Printed in the National League South game v Hemel Hempstead Town Saturday 16th August 2025. First home game of the season. Lost 1-0 in front of 895

Everytime I’ve visited Seaford Town it’s because there’s been a drama. Neighbours getting hysterical over floodlights; being named the most boring football club in the country on Football Focus. And now this. The longest gap between games in FA Cup history. A whopping 114 years since they were last in the competition.

But this sort of drama doesn’t really represent Seaford – the town. Sure, Jordan the Queen of Punk trail blazer came from there, but its a tranquil place where the day-trippers come for the South Downs Way and spectacular views. It really doesn’t make the most of its expansive seafront which at one point had ambitions to rival Brighton. But the two places have taken very different paths. Today was Brighton Pride, which is hard to describe; think Glastonbury exploding into glitter balls across the whole city, where 300,000 jostle for some fun. Seaford meanwhile had to fight just to get the floodlights it desperately needed to climb up the footballing pyramid. There’s always a few moaning minnies who try to spoil it for the rest. All the usual arguments were wheeled out including the fact that promotion would bring bigger crowds and extra noise. Lewes Council turned the floodlights application down at first because they would be 
‘detrimental to local residential amenities.’ Excuse me, what about shared community amenities being good for everyone's health and well being? Even the misery guts, who could probably do with getting out a bit more and trying to make some friends.

Seaford the train is the end of the line, and some enterprising souls have made the most of the waiting rooms converting them into a watering hole – Steamworks. This is a smart move, where you can grab a coffee or a beer in a cosy setting that was heaving. Grabbing a beer is what some Tooting and Mitcham supporters were doing. Their game against AFC Varndeanians had been moved because the Varndeanians play at the Withdean stadium right opposite Brighton Pride – so it had been sensibly switched to Newhaven. I didn’t really get any sense from them how they had plummeted down the leagues into county football although they did remind me the last time Slough played Tooting they had knocked us out of the Cup. On the way back on the train I got chatting to Sutton United supporters who’d been at the game– this was becoming an Isthmian Friends Reunited holiday. I reminded them that the last time we met we won a first round cup penalty shoot replay – and a home tie with Gillingham.

Seaford the ground is called The Crouch which is in a park, next to swings, a bowling green and community garden. There’s no turnstiles but people guard the various park entrances on match days. The only cover, the seated stand is caged up at night I assume to stop any vandalism. They’ve teamed up with the local Long Man Brewery and with your programme you got a poster celebrating last years promotion to the Southern Combination Premier – and with that promotion, entry to the FA Cup.

Before the game, the Seaford chairman had posted “This isn't just a football match; it’s a celebration of years of hard work, commitment and community spirit. From the players on the pitch to the volunteers behind the scenes and of course you, our incredible fans and followers – this day belongs to all of you. We may be a small club from the South Coast, but we have a big heart and today we get to show everyone what Seaford Town Football Club is all about.”

So onto Seaford - the match. Their opponents Sutton Athletic aren't from Sutton, Surrey but a village in Kent and straight from the off looked a much stronger, powerful outfit. Bobbly pitches can ruin a game, and really this is where FA should be throwing resources at – getting playing surfaces sorted, rather than insisting on picky ground grading rules.

Even the Seaford manager admitted that Sutton were the better side – and then some – as they peppered the home sides goal, whose resolute defending, great goalkeeping alongside Suttons terrible aim kept it 0-0. Then as so often happens at these type of games, finally a decent through ball for a Seaford striker to latch onto, he’s tumbled over and the defender is sent off and the penalty on the 83rd minute well dispatched. 10 minutes later and history is made again with Seaford winning their first ever FA Cup football match.

These opportunities don’t come round often – although you don’t usually need to wait 114 years. But the crowd (a very decent 554), the beer and sweet sales, the buzz around the place, like a lively summer fete, made it feel like a real occasion with one local commenting to his mate that he’d bumped into so many old friends.

The FA Cup gained back some of its magic with the scenes of Crystal Palace supporters finally celebrating getting some silverware. Not that it ever lost its sparkle in the early rounds. Where dreams, ambitions even fortunes are made. And for Seaford Town – history.

BELT AND BRACES IN THE NLS

 

Printed in the friendly v Southend United Tuesday 29th July 2025. We drew 0-0 in front of 869

As we prepare for the new season, I’ve been peeking through my fingers at the monster that has become the National League South while watching last seasons team get dismantled.

Everyone is seemingly being bankrolled by someone wealthy. Half the clubs are full time or hybrid, not that I really understand what hybrid means in this footballing context. Is it a donkey? A horse? No, its a mule! Dagenham have Qatari owners and went out and signed Andy Carroll. A donkey, horse or mule? Salisbury have a new Kuwaiti owner and Dorking always seems to have a magic money tree growing in their leafy back gardens. And little old Slough? Well we have Ash and his merry men, powering the club as it should be through community activity, local sponsorships – and beer. I'm surprised we haven’t got a micropub in one of the turnstiles.

So let’s take a look at some of the financial messes clubs find themselves in. Maidenhead lost £500,000 last season trying unsuccessfully to stay up – with only the Kilman transfer sell-on money keeping them afloat. Hampton and Richmond haemorrhaged over £1.1 million while Ebbsflett have spent a fortune to go nowhere fast. Our opponents tonight Southend spent many years in a financial mess – now its Morecambe's turn to be sunk thanks to another dodgy football owner.

The National League is now chock a block with ex league clubs – or BELTS as Sutton United ‘Gandermonium’ fanzine dubbed them (‘Big Ex-League Teams’ is the polite version) and now more and more of them are finding themselves even lower down the footballing pyramid.

Look I know Dagenham have been in the Football League and no disrespect, but it’s hard for me to see them as BELTers. I remember going there as a youngster, standing behind the goal on a grass bank while they swallowed Redbridge Forest, who themselves had devoured Walthamstow, Leytonstone and Ilford. That’s just greedy. Just as I get quoted the ‘Come Friendly Bombs’ poem when I say where I’m from, Torquay supporters must be sick of Basil Fawlty. Not helped by the hotel I stayed in last season seemingly coming straight from the set. And at £25 a night, it was only £3 more than what Torquay are charging away fans to watch 90 minutes of football. Mind you, it felt like I only got 90 minutes of sleep in my bed after another night on the razzle with the Rebel Rabble.

So what of Slough? Have we become the Brighton of the National League in recruitment? Unearthing gems who want to come to our club because they can see progression in their careers. I’ve got nothing against someone wanting to put a few more quid in their pocket or making the step up to full time football. Wouldn’t we do the same? I think us football fans get a bit too wrapped up in this loyalty card.

We’ve got a crowdfunded new drum and some more trinkets but now we’ve got to think of a whole new song book. Maybe we need to organise a Slough Towns Got Talent to pick the best ones?

It only took 5 Secretaries of State, 4 Prime Ministers, 2 Monarchs, 2 Governments and two turtle doves but the Football Governance Bill is now law. So you would think every MP would be applauding a bill that was initiated by a Tory and finished by Labour and gives much greater protection to our clubs. But no, there plenty of opposition MPs who voted against it. Maybe they should explain why they did to the tearful older Morecambe supporter as she asked exasperated to the SKY cameras with her club on the brink ‘How one man can hold us to ransom like this, is beyond me.’

So beware owners promising the earth, just like politicians who do the same. Infact there’s going to be some very disappointed ones in our league and lots of sacked managers before the seasons out as those two promotion places become gold dust.

As for little old Slough? What do I want ? To meet up with friends, make new ones, visit new places, have some more weekends away and have a laugh with away supporters; give bloody noses to some of those bigger clubs, watch crowds increase, see even more community stuff happening and be looking upwards in the league table rather than the trap door. The obligatory plea for 3rd round proper-job of the FA Cup for the first time ever please. Oh and beat Maidenhead on Boxing Day. It would be the perfect way to celebrate my 60th.

What I do know is that whatever happens we will get behind the team – because that’s what we do. See you all at Tonbridge.

THE NEVER ENDING SEASON

Printed in the friendly v Brentford B Tuesday 15th July 2025. We won 3-2 in front of 558

I love runner beans. We grow masses of them at our community garden and they are easily my favourite vegetable, but are only available four months of the year. Freeze them and they taste insipid and soggy. So wouldn’t it be great if you could have runner beans all year round? Nah, I just wouldn’t enjoy them as much. That’s how I see the football season. I like when it ends (so does my wallet and liver) and I can really get on with growing runner beans and other vegetables (but not aubergines – they should be given a vegetable banning order). But now football is served up to us every day; never ending tournaments to satisfy the TV bosses, who cram more in until we become bloated and bored-sick.

There was no play offs for Slough, but I listened with fingers and toes crossed while putting pins in a black and white voodoo dolly, hoping that we would be playing Maidenhead next season. That seemed to do the trick.

I paid a subscription and watched a roller coaster of a game against Oldham and Southend in the National League final – with an attendance of over 50,000 that could have been even more if it wasn’t capped because of the football fans pet hate, transport disruption. A goal from a recently departed Slough player and a fairytale ending for a loveable Oldham owner who was beaming with pride knowing how a successful team can help transform his home town.

I watched this on my phone via another company hoping to hit the TV football jackpot, DAZN. You should never trust a company whose name you can’t pronounce, and DAZN sounds like some cheap imitation washing machine powder from Bulgaria that doesn’t remove the stains, but adds a few new ones.

Shopping Powder TV also has exclusive access to the Club World Cup, a superleague with bells on. Like a travelling footballing salesman meets the circus. I managed to miss it all. But im glad we’ve sacrificed FA Cup replays for competitions like this.

We all know where we are heading with the Club World Cup. The powers that be have still got the hump they couldn’t get their European super league, so they chip away until its already happening, behind our backs in plain sight.

And as world temperatures continue to climb, will people be able to play football in the suffocating heat of the summer? And will American TV finally realise their dream of multiple drinks breaks so they can cram in more adverts for food and drinks peak athletes wouldn’t touch with a barge pole? Will cold wet neck towels become a fashion accessory like those stupid sleeping bag coats people wear that were designed for keeping warm after a swim in the sea not for a shopping trip to Waitrose.

TV viewing figures nose dived 10% in last part of the season – blamed on a Premier League where Liverpool won at a canter while the Championship Clubs all got relegated again for the second season running. Premier league clubs are chasing tourists rather than those annoying so called ‘legacy’ fans, who never spend enough in the superstores buying the fifth away kit and the branded pants. This is where savvy lower league owners can tap into to disgruntled supporters and make them their own.

DAZN and the Club World Cup is of course bankrolled by Saudi Arabia who are experimenting with a whole new Virtual Reality fans experience. My mate Gibby whose an expert in these things told me ‘The Fifa Club World Cup VR Experience has shown the way forward for sports in VR and mixed reality….with spectacular views feeling like you are on the pitch, in the crowd...while Subbuteo type pitches show you real time movement of players.’

We talked about whether this solitary experience of football is the future. Another way to add to the loneliness and obesity epidemic? Or will people still want to be immersed in the real world, in a crowd of people with restricted views but collective joy and misery.

As we’ve been told ‘Football its a simple game, made complicated by people who should know better.’ But the football of the future and the way we consume it is probably as unimaginable to us now as todays football would be to a supporter 100 years ago. Still, when you boil it down, its still 22 players kicking the ball around a pitch. And then blaming the ref when things don’t go the way for their team

A CLUB TO BE PROUD OF

 

Printed in the National League South game v Hampton and Richmond Borough Saturday 26th April 2025. Last game of the season. We won 1-0 in front of 1,583

Bananas by Mark Davis

And so another season comes to an end. One where we briefly topped the table and one where we briefly looked over our shoulders at the relegation trap door.

Of course I want Slough to win football matches, but as I get older, I take a more holistic and realistic view.

It wasn’t so long ago that a group of us would meet in the pub opposite Stag Meadow, the home of Windsor and Eton, where Slough had washed up after losing Wexham Park. We’d laugh and joke and then realise it was time for kick off – where inevitably 90 minutes of football would spoil a good day out. A lot of those people are now volunteering for the club and its hard not to forget just how much of a basket-case the Rebels were. Penniless and plummeting down the leagues, homeless for nearly 15 years, around 300 of us keeping the faith and hoping things could turn around. And blimey haven’t they just.

Signing that 50 year lease from the council has turbo charged the club off the field. I couldn’t make the forum but briefly spoke to co-owner Ash about next season.

With the National League South getting stronger, lots of supporters are already worrying about next season! What will the club be doing to make sure we stay competitive?

Ash “We are enhancing the playing budget for next season to ensure we remain competitive. Although we firmly believe we have one of the best young managers, fantastic facilities and an exciting momentum off the pitch which will allow us to perform to the desired standard of the NLS.”

The Club has made massive strides off the pitch since we signed the lease – what are you most proud of?

“For me success isn’t just about wins or milestones, but about sustained, meaningful progress and the ripple effect it has. Creating growth both in the club and the community means you’re building something lasting, something that brings people together and uplifts more than just the team.”

I then spoke to our community manager Ade – a supporter for 45 years - about what happens when we all head off to the potting shed. “When the season finishes and fans enjoy a well earned rest, Arbour Park (AP) continues to see increasing occupancy of its rooms, pitch and facilities. For the club, the off season is often busier than during the season. AP has regular corporate bookings throughout the year, ranging from business meetings, health workshops, conferences and training curses and due to our excellent facilities and on-site parking, these continue to grow .

‘Our EDS and Academy will still use AP for training and education whilst you will see many football finals continue to be held here. Also our proximity to the crematorium makes AP and ideal space for wakes. With no football at weekends, AP will host far more parties during the summer than usual.

‘The gym, run by JA Fitness, continues to grow in its opportunities now that there is a 2nd personal trainer involved and session include small groups, one to ones, junior workshops and mum and baby groups being held regularly.

‘With the football club focusing on the local community, its summer activities continue with a desire to increase our offerings. There will be no stopping for our toddler football, kids football, disability sessions and walking football. With weekends free, the club plays host to various football tournaments including junior football, ladies tournament, corporate competitions and community projects all booked in for the ‘ off season’.

‘The club will continue to improve its facilities over the summer and please look out for some volunteer working parties coming up in the next couple of months.”

Too many football supporters want to be spoonfed a diet of instant success. A pill to pop to cure defeats, a new chairman who will promise the earth and to hell with the consequences. That’s not how Slough Town work and that’s a very good thing.

It’s been a really enjoyable season, we’ve had lots of laughs, made new friends, bashed more bins than I care to remember and visited places old and new.

Infact I’m more proud of the club than I’ve ever been; it has become a massive part of the community, an important institution for the town. And for a few of us, all this is so much more enjoyable because not so very long ago we were huddled together, losing to another village team and howling on the empty terraces that ‘All we wanted was a football ground in Slough’.

Well, we’ve got that now and so much more with bells on. See you next season.