DUTCH DELIGHT

Printed in the last league game of the season (thank god!) v
Bridgwater Town Saturday 25th April 2009. We won 2-1 in front of 233
people.


I must admit I know nothing about lower league Dutch football. Infact
I'd be a bit sad if I did. But with the possibility of a new ground in
Slough, General Manager Roy Merryweather organized for a small Slough
Town delegation s to see Rijnsburgse Boys and Quick Boys FC as having
visited the grounds before, he saw it as an ideal model to replicate.
I spoke to Roy and programme editor Glen Riley about the visit.

What is clubs league equivalent in this country?
Glen: They're semi-pro too but with their set-up/crowds it would be
similar to Conference/League 2. Not seen them play so I can't comment
on the standard of football.

Describe their set up?
Glen: Both stadiums had similar set ups with the main stadium
surrounded by many outside pitches that are used for their youth
sides. Both grounds had just a big main stand with all the usual
facilities with the rest of the ground open and flat standing.

Lower league Dutch clubs enjoy healthy crowds and are the centre of
the community. How have their achieved that?
Glen: Having 15-20 different youth and affiliated sides under their
umbrella obviously helps massively with keeping the club at the centre
of their communities. For local derbies, which there are a few, they
can get crowds of 5,000 but normally average between 1,500-2,000
people.

What parts of their set up would you like to see replicated if/when we
get Arbour Vale?

Glen: Definitely the youth set up they have, maybe not on that scale
as there just wouldn't be room.
Roy: The football club in any village is the centre of the community
boys and girls from a very early age go along to their village ground
to enjoy the sport and they are proud to play for that club right from
an early age. All Dutch clubs have around 30 youth and 20 adults teams
through to veteran XI's representing that team. All standards are
catered for - your ability is not the main issue, it’s the desire to
play for your club that is the most important. Individual pub and
youth teams do not exist very much, to my knowledge in Holland
therefore the rivalry we experience between Slough, Windsor, Burnham,
Marlow happens at all levels.

How is this funded? Who paid for the stadiums? The day to day running
costs?

Roy: The whole concept is centred around the subscriptions of club
members, supported by a massive contributions of local sponsorship
plus the whole package backed by a heavy concentration of volunteer
help. Sounds simple but I'm sure it could be done.
Membership to the club, would not be cheap, but the perks involved for
both social and playing members would be enormous, season tickets,
shopping discounts, 500 club membership all would be part of the
package, in additions to providing a good standard of football, plus
training facilities and kit of the very best quality. If we work
together on raising standards of all teams, this can only be progress,
To watch Slough play Windsor, Marlow or Maidenhead at any level would
be the perfect scenario , from under 10 to Veterans it could happen,
that's not forgetting the Ladies section also.

As for company sponsorship, this is completely untapped territory, In
Holland business contacts are made through the football clubs.
Saturday is not a day of rest, it’s the opportunity to promote your
company in a real upbeat fashion, use the match and club house to
forming new friends and outlets. On one of my recent visits I spoke
with a local architect who said, since supporting Rijinsburgse boys
five years ago his company had advanced out off all recognition.
Contacts gained were enormous and the order book was full. We all have
a part to play, at a new ground with really smart reception rooms we
could really advance this theory. Part of the upfront payment of
funds would be given back in food and drink, by which we all benefit.
In Holland they work their bars similar to a number of Golf clubs here
in the U.K., with no money actually changing hands, just a card system
in place.

As for the final Dutch way of life is to recruit more of the likes of
Chris Sliski’s and Alan Harding’s of Slough. Whilst in Holland both
clubs had up to 50 people of similar status willing to give their time
free to their club to help out on match days and throughout the rest
of the week. Even the cleaners were retired supporters bored of
staying at home, who gave up the time just for a bite to eat at
lunchtimes for a few hours of work each day. We found a real sense of
pride to tell us what they all did each week for their team. I really
do believe we could follow these examples if we had the right facility
to entertain them all.”

AT LEAST WE'VE GOT ONE

Printed in the Southern League South and West division v Taunton Town.
Slough played in pink in aid of Breast Cancer Research and drew 2-2 in
front of 248.

At the last count I was up to about 150 – although no doubt some are
now buried under the jackboots of Tesco superstores. I’ve added
another 6 this season alone and with thirty years of football support
behind me, they start racking up.
I’m talking about football grounds, and being a Slough Town supporter
the majority of these have been non league.
God knows how many teams Slough have played over the past few years
with relegation after relegation, re-organisation after re-
organisation. Infact one of the more enjoyable aspects of supporting a
lower league football club is the amount of different places and
grounds you get to visit. Just don’t put me down as a ground-hopper.
You won’t see me in a large mac, hanging around the secretary’s office
hoping to get a team-sheet, complaining if there isn’t a programme or
bog roll in the toilets. But I do like to visit new places – even if
they happen to be Billericay, Barnet and Basingstoke.
I also like arriving at grounds at least a few hours beforehand. With
our weekend plans to the New Forest postponed, I decided to get the
train to Totton hours before kick-off. Problem was there wasn’t even a
greasy café to stuff my face in the small town centre (but I did get a
nice jar of home-made marmalade, which gives you an indication of the
place). Still the club were kind enough to open the bar for me.
Thatcham had a lovely old pub by the station, but was yet another tin-
pot ground where we failed to win. Cirencester was even less
impressive apart from the clubhouse. A barren wind-swept place on the
outskirts of town where I spent more time in the club-house trying to
warm up rather than watching another abject performance.
I didn’t really see much of Cornwall as we broke the speed barrier to
get to the game on time, and it looks like we won’t be going to Truro
any time soon. I quite liked Taunton, and Gosport has a certain charm
about it although it really could do with some more cover. I wouldn’t
want to be at Bishops Cleeve on a wet and windy afternoon either. And
it’s probably best to keep stum about Windsor, Abingdon and
Bracknell.
My favourite this season is Paulton, no doubt helped by the best away
performance of the season. The place felt at the heart of the
community, the higgildy piggildy ground had great views and the
covered terracing behind one of the goals that looked down on the
pitch is something I’d like to see replicated at Arbour Vale.
In our Conference days, speeding up the motorways towards Manchester
and other far flung outposts was a regular occurrence. So was getting
lost. I have continued that tradition by finding myself stumbling
around in woodland while looking for AFC Hayes and being totally
bemused in the pouring rain with a sodden map trying to find Walton
and Hersham (with the game called off just 15 minutes after I got
there).
I enjoyed that last game of the season against Worthing where we all
met up on the sea-front in thick sea mist. Me and my girlfriend having
an away break in the picturesque town of Maldon. That great weekend in
the Isle of Wight.
But of course, the ground I would most like to visit is the one at
Arbour Vale, with thousands of us packed in for the first game of the
season. Now that would really give us all something to cheer about and
give us the right to criticize other grounds without being told ‘at
least we’ve got one.’

GREAT EXPECTATIONS

Printed in the Southern League South and West Division match v Paulton
Rovers Saturday 28th March 2009. We won 1-0 in front of 209.


I was expecting so much more this season. Being stupidly optimistic,
as most football fans are, I was rather foolishly hoping for at least
a sniff at the play-offs and a little run in the cups (even the Berks
and Bucks would have done). Instead we have been looking over our
shoulders at the bottom clubs and have had do with a few sporadic
highlights like beating Windsor. But it was the defeat at Uxbridge
that really did it for me and to be honest if there hadn’t been a
change of management I wouldn’t have bothered with much of the rest of
the season. Fair-weather fan? Whatever. But a five hour round trip
(and more if we are away) each week becomes pretty tiresome, and
watching Slough started to feel like a chore rather than something to
look forward too at the weekend.
Everyone’s agreed Derek Sweetman is undoubtedly a nice bloke. He
steadied the ship, but in the end it just wasn’t happening. I’m
pleased despite some really poor performances the majority of the
Slough supporters didn’t take out their frustrations on the manager or
the players. Especially after listening to some of the plonkers on the
football radio phone-in’s. So i’ve come up with a new reality TV
programme (because we need a few more, don’t we).
Forget Wife Swap, what about ‘Football Fan Swap’?
Any Arsenal fan found booing their team has to spend two months
watching Wingate and Finchley.
A season ticket watching Cowdenbeath to the knuckle-head Celtic
‘supporter’ who called for Gordon Strachan to be sacked for losing to
St.Mirren in the Scottish Cup.
Any Man United fans that ring up from Devon complaining that ‘it’s
just not good enough’, are banished to Barnstaple Town for six months
and made to clean the toilets after the game, preferably with their
United scarf.
As for Slough. Well as a gardener and it being the busiest time of
year for me, I have only seen a Steve Bateman team take apart Bishops
Cleeve in a very enjoyable day out in Gloucestershire.
But again, as we drove through Cheltenham, I felt depressed. Twenty
years ago I was watching Slough play Cheltenham. Now we are going to a
tiny little village outside Cheltenham. Now I mean no disrespect to
clubs like Cleeve – Slough deserve to be playing at this level, and
are of course, lucky not to be playing at the level below. Cheltenham
based Rebel supporter Grandad told me that Bishop Cleeve have had
their fair share of upheaval, losing their old ground when the Church
sold it off for housing and having to ground-share until they moved
into their new stadium. They had a nice clubhouse, but the ground was
a bit thread-bare, although tidy with sweeping views but unfortunately
there were more sheep watching the game than home fans.
I take my hat off to clubs like Cleeve. But – again no disrespect, I
have had enough of playing these clubs every week. I don’t want to
outnumber home supporters. I want some banter. Some atmosphere. And I
don’t want to lose nearly every week for THREE BLOODY SEASONS!!!
Just as successful managers like Arsene Wenger knows its at least top
four in the Premiership to stop the booing, Steve Bateman will know
the pressures of the new job. I expect nothing less than a battle for
a play off place next season!
I’ve got enough nice views from my front room window thank you very
much, without having to travel westwards every other week to look at
sheep.

INTERVIEW WITH SLOUGH TOWN SECRETARY

Printed in the Southern South and West Division league match v
Bracknell Town. 0-0 in front of 218 spectators.


There’s been plenty of talk recently about a lack of younger people
coming along and giving their time for free to lower league football
teams. But one of the clubs to buck that trend is Slough Town. I
caught up with Gary Thomas, to ask him how he became a club secretary
in his twenties

How long have you been supporting Slough?
My first game was an FA Cup game, as I'm sure it is with many non
league supporters. Saturday 13th November 1993 against Torquay United.
Didn't manage to get to many games in the "good years" due to working
on Saturdays, but became a full home and away regular in 1999.


Were you involved in helping the club before you became secretary?
Yes, I was helping out on the website so occasionally would talk to
the manager, club personnel and players to get information. Perhaps
most famously, former manager Mr. Browne gave me a proper dressing
down for something I had nothing to do with! In addition, my wife Emma
agreed to run the club shop in the final years of Wexham Park and
again whilst we were at Windsor, so I had time helping out with that
also. In the years at Windsor, I did a lot of filming of matches which
was used to make two seasons review DVD's, something which we still do
occasionally now. I began to help Roy Merryweather out in the final
season at Windsor with some of the administrative work and took on the
role as football secretary for the start of our time at Beaconsfield
in 2007.


Why did you decide to become secretary?
Roy Merryweather had taken on the role originally and worked with kit
man Paul Lillywhite on a matchday to arrange everything for the
referee. I was happy to help out and wanted to get involved, so it was
a natural progression. It's been a great experience meeting other
admin staff at other clubs and talking to those in the Southern
League, the majority of whom have been exceptionally helpful as I
learn the ways of football rules and regulations. I enjoy all aspects
of football and felt I could add something to the club and wanted to
help the club get back on the right track and moving forwards again,
something which we are now able to do thanks to the dedication and
hard work of Roy and the chairman, Steve Easterbook in addition to the
other members of the clubs board.

It's also been great on the playing side to work with Darron
Wilkinson, Mark Betts and Derek Sweetman as you can see the amount of
extra hours they put into the football above and beyond matchdays and
training sessions. Whilst performances may not always have been to all
our liking, all three were more than happy to talk to anyone about the
game in the bar and after training. Most importantly, they are all
good people which makes the working relationship all that bit easier
and the role all the more enjoyable.

With the birth of my son Steven, it has become a little more difficult
as responsibilities change, but thanks to a very supportive wife I
have been able to continue to dedicate the required time to the role
that it requires and still enjoy every minute of it. I think it's
great to see Steven coming along to games and in some cases getting
into boardrooms at away clubs to enjoy hospitality!

My only regret in taking on the role is that I can no longer get in
behind the goal and get in with creating or joining in the atmosphere.
With an official role at the club, there are often things going on
which mean you cannot watch the game in its entirety, although this is
offset by having the pass for away games.


So what’s a typical match-day for you?
An average home match for me will see me notify the officials and
opponents at least seven days prior to the match, take delivery of the
programmes on a Friday afternoon and confirm with the officials that
they are all ok for the journey. On the Saturday, I aim to get to the
ground for between 1 and 1.30. Programmes are put out for the
officials, opponents, our players and into the boardroom. Then I can
afford myself a twenty minute break and usually some lunch from the
tea bar. Line ups have to be done and in to the officials by 2.15 so I
am often looking for Sweets at around 2pm to get the line up written
up. Once these are done and the papers exchanged with the officials,
the line ups need to be printed with the leagues logo and added into
the boardroom. We also print out a few extras for any press and one is
always pinned up for the supporters.

During half time we'll make sure the match officials expenses are done
and marked up and then after the game the result has to be rung
through to the press association and also to the league.

For away games, I will confirm our attendance at the game and also
send over details of pen pics, club history and expected line up to be
included in the home teams programme for the day. I will look to
arrive between 1.30 and 2pm to an away game as the line up will need
to be done and in to the referee by 2.15, but one this is done, I can
relax a bit and soak up a pre-match drink either in the bar or in the
boardroom and then enjoy the football on display.


So are you the youngest secretary in our league?
I’m certainly the youngest secretary and committee person I know of in
my season and a half of doing the job. The only one which comes close
is the secretary at Didcot who is in his thirties. Most of the
committees tend to be forties and above. We do of course have another
exception in Glen Riley (programme editor). I think between us, our
combined age totals less than some of the people I see in boardrooms
around the league!

I’m not quite sure why the trend is that way. There is obviously a lot
of time and dedication required to do any official role with a club at
this level and it is voluntary work as well, so there isn't the
financial benefit to spending the extra hours watching your club play
football. I say watching, but a lot of time for me is spent either
providing updates at away games for the website or chasing round after
my boy at the home games these days!

I think the workload involved can put people off, but we have been
blessed at Slough with a number of volunteers over the years and
people who continue to put in many hours of their own time into
helping out the club. We've also seen some of the "younger" supporters
begin to help out with the Supporters Trust raffle on a matchday and
have had previous instances of younger people running things such as
the Junior Rebels on behalf of the Trust and of course in our own
boardroom.

I think it comes down to the people available to you. The average
supporter will just want to come along and watch the side play
football which is fair enough. Once you become a regular though, if
you feel you can do more to help out and offer to do so, there will
always be something to help out with. Essentially, that's how I got
into the position I am in today and I don't regret a minute of it!

DAY TRIP TO CORNWALL

Printed in the Southern League South and West match v Andover. We won
4-3 in front of 230.


It wasn’t my most rational of decisions. Slough were playing Truro
City and when my plans for a weekend away with Windsor Rebel, Best Man
and Big Lens fell threw, it was always going to be a mission to get to
the game. But get to the game I must – this could be the only time I
would see Slough play a league match in Cornwall!
I woke at 4.30am and walked to Brighton train station. Clubbers sat
shivering and disheveled waiting for the first train home. The train
to Victoria was fine, but my tube broke down so at 6am I was hailing a
taxi to Paddington, then jumping on a fast train to Slough to meet the
supporters coach. The Supporters Trust did a great deal for members
where it was just 20 quid return. Phil the Flag supplied the
refreshments, Pepe the chocolate and by early morning I felt like I
had eaten half the daily output of the Mars factory.
And then the coach broke down at Bristol.
For two hours.
It limped to the services and Anil the coach-driver, became Anil the
mechanic. He managed to fix it and then drove at speed and we arrived
at Truro with 3 minutes to spare, joining about 50 plus Slough
supporters.
Unfortunately rather than a friendly Cornish welcome we had four
middle-aged skinheads who threatened and abused us and enjoyed light-
hearted racist banter with themselves. It was like one of the episodes
of ‘Life on Mars’, the four trapped in some 1970’s football time warp,
unable to comprehend that life had moved on, football had moved on.
The majority of the Truro fans were friendly enough – infact these
bunch of retards were from London. ‘No One Likes Us’ they sang. Hello!
We are playing eight leagues below the Premiership – no one’s heard of
you.
I had seen Truro play before, on their way to winning the FA Vase in
front of a record 36,232 fans. On the way to Wembley they played
Whitehawk, an estate in Brighton. They came en masse and some of them
foolishly decided to sing ‘Does your boyfriend know your here’; a song
Brighton fans have to put up with everywhere. But with no police, no
stewards, no segregation, the song was ended some-what abruptly by the
locals with the Whitehawk manager having to leave the dug-out and
appeal for calm.
As for the game, Slough had the better of the first half and
incredibly took the lead and could have had more, but Truro always
looked dangerous. This is not surprising really since most of their
squad seems to be made up of ex league and Conference players. So what
about player budget cuts of 50%? One fan told me that their third
choice goalie was on a grand a month! Truro’s chairman has – or at
least did have - money to burn with plans for a new stadium and his
eyes on the Football League.
The second half was Truro’s. The cold Russian wind that would bring
the snow the next day, was doing us no favours. Phil’s flag nearly
blew away from the empty seats and Truro took control. We lost 2-1 but
played well – why can’t we do this against the teams below us?
As for the journey home. I finally got to bed at 2.30am after an epic
twenty two hour round trip. My girlfriend was still nodding her head
in disbelief the next day that I had gone all that way for 90 minutes
of football. Perhaps she had a point.

TOP OF THE BLOG

Printed in the Southern League South and West match v Cinderford Town
Tuesday 3rd March 2009. We lost 2-3 in front of 176 people. We now have
a new manager, in former player Steve Bateman.


Brace yourself - you are reading an article from one of ‘the most
influential blogs in the UK blogosphere.’ Yes that’s right, my Slough
Town Soapbox currently features at no.61 in the Wikio Sports hit
parade. Up six places and the highest ranking non league footie blog
in the monthly charts, just behind Real Madrid.
Let me explain. All the articles I write for the match day programme
get stuck on my blog for all the world to see. A blog is basically a
website written by anybody with something to say, reviews, rantings
and ravings, anything basically. And there are a hell of a lot of
blogs in the world - a year ago there was 112 million (I don’t know
who had the job of counting them). For the most part they are pretty
dull, and you do wonder who reads the stuff. Where once a private
diary, rant in the pub or tatty old fanzine would have sufficed now
it’s posted onto the internet for everyone to see. Now I’m all for
everyone putting forward their views, but to be brutally honest most
of what is posted is crap.
So how did articles about Slough Town get to rub shoulders with
Arsenal, Liverpool, and Letchworth Girls Rugby? To be honest I’m not
quite sure but they explain “The position of a blog in the Wikio
ranking depends on the number and weight of the incoming links from
other blogs. These links are dynamic, which means that they are
backlinks or links found within articles. With our algorithm, the
weight of a link from a top blog is greater than that of a link from a
blog that is less well ranked.” Which sounds like a load of bloggocks
to me!
Not surprisingly, in the sports blog top 100 football dominates, but
there’s also rugby, cricket, motor racing, and motorbiking. However it
is dominated by Arsenal blogs – twenty of the bloody things. Don’t
they get enough coverage in the national press? Is this just
confirmation that Arsenal have the geekiest supporters? It’s also
quite disconcerting that Letchworth Girls Rugby and Swaffham Girls
Rugby are higher up than me! There’s also 7 Formula 1 motor racing
blogs, writing about a sport that makes televised darts seem exciting.
I couldn’t quite bring myself to read them but at least I now know
where to go if I have any bouts of insomnia. There’s a blog called
Beautiful Aim – about ‘a 23 year old fanatic with average footballing
skill, who hopes with the guidance of a team of experts, to make
Premiership football in just one year.’ Don’t know about Beautiful
Aim, more totally deluded.
Oxford United are the only other non-league club in the top 100, and
well they aren’t proper non league really are they? The most
interesting are ‘The Referee - The Ups & Downs of an English Football
Referee’ just for an insight into referees minds. ‘Ground-Hog’ with
reviews of one mans visits to various footie grounds and ‘200 hundred
per cent’. This is easily the best with excellent, well written, in
depth footie articles with a non league slant. Some of the blogs
mentioned I reckon shouldn’t be allowed in the chart, with the BBC and
Times included, with both organisations having substantially more
resources than little ole me .
So there you go, this article was bought to you by your very own blow-
its-own-trumpet top non league football blog in the country. Now I’m
just waiting for the New Years honors list invite to drop through my
letterbox. Sir Brighton Rebel has a ring to it don’t you think?

SIGN OF THE TIMES?

This article should have appeared in the Southern League South and
West game v Gosport Borough 7th Feb 2008 but thanks to the
snow, frost and rain, the game was called off.



With the country deep in recession, Beaconsfield have joined the
chorus of clubs to admit they have financial problems. Their chairman
Bob Breen said that they will not survive as a Southern League club
unless they receive immediate help from volunteers and the people of
Beaconsfield. So shall we blame the credit crunch or is this an on
going problem? In a way Beaconsfield are a victim of their own
success. Despite winning the treble last season and now in the play-
offs they are averaging just 116 people for home games. They’ve got a
tidy little ground but it is out on a limb in no-man’s land that lacks
identity and Beaconsfield, one of the most expensive places to buy a
house in the country, is hardly a footballing hot bed. Infact if it
weren’t for the ground-sharing agreement with Slough, Breen admits the
club would be in even more serious financial trouble.
Of course, there are clubs like Beaconsfield up and down the pyramid.
Sponsorship is drying up, but stupid ground grading rules and
excessive travelling aren’t helping matters. Recently Barnstaple
Town’s manager resigned, making the point that in some league games
his players were travelling all day for £30. A director at the club is
now urging them to leave the Western League because of the current
economic situation and the amount of travelling involved and go back
to having a local manager with local players. Despite both Slough and
Beaconsfield playing at level five, we are often travelling westwards.
Of course its worse for league rivals Truro, whose geography means
9,422 miles on the road throughout the season. But rumours of their
imminent demise are never far from the football forums, not helped by
being backed by a property owning sugar daddy who has propelled them
into the highest ranking Cornish club in the country.
The recession means that there is going to be far less football sugar
daddies about – no bad thing in my book, as relying on one person’s
cash is a disaster waiting to happen when the man with the wallet goes
walkabout. But the most interesting thing of the Bob Breen article was
his bemoaning the lack of volunteers.
For football clubs to get more people in through the gates and helping
out on match-days the mind-set has to change, as often they are there
own worst enemies. So aside from breeding, you have to be inventive!
The least clubs can do is make it kids for a quid and free tickets to
local schools and youth football teams. One supporter at Cwmbran Town
told of some of this inventiveness “The turnstile operator and
Chairman let a bunch of lads in for a quid apiece. They were just
hanging around the sports centre and cheekily asked for a discount.
They came in, stayed for the whole game and turned up for the next
home game with a couple more mates. Since then, they have been to
every game, bought replica shirts, flags, hats, scarves etc and also
brought a few more mates along with them. Whether they continue coming
long term, when they are old enough to spend Saturday afternoon in the
pub watching the results come through on Sky, I don't know, but for
now they sing and shout all through the game and frankly have been a
breath of fresh air.” A former secretary at Crockenhill FC remembered
that time when “One of the local youngsters who I could have chased
off the pitch one Saturday for breaking in and kicking around actually
stayed for the game and eventually played for the club.” These are the
sorts of volunteers and attitudes football clubs need to survive!

TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE

Printed in the Southern League South and West game v Windsor and EtoN 24th January 2009. Windsor’s 18 match unbeaten run came to and end with Slough winning
3-2 in front of 385 people.


If something seems too good to be true then it probably is. This is
what the investors with Bernard Madoff are finding out, after he recently
confessed to the worlds largest ever fraud. US Investment manager Madoff
was the ultimate Wall Street insider, the financial wizard to the A-list who
everyone wanted to know. But Madoff established what is called a
“Ponzi scheme” and swindled up to $50 billion from investors from big
banks to charities. But how could he have fooled so many people for so
long? Ponzi schemes are relatively unsophisticated frauds in which the
organisers repay old investors not with genuine gains but with money
from new investors. Madoff gave much better returns than anyone else,
but while the money rolled in few questioned how it was possible.
Too good to be true also sums up the Premiership. Football fans have
been too easily dazzled by money; turning a blind eye to anyone who
flashes the cash, no matter where that money comes from or the dubious
motives of the investors.
West Ham are the Premiership club in the most precarious position.
Owner Bjorgolfur Gudmundsson has put West Ham on the market in order to pay
back debts exceeding £50 million after the collapse of an Icelandic
bank in which he had a 41% stake. Gudmundsson, who bought the club for
£85 million in 2006, is struggling to finalise a deal having initially
expected to raise £250 million, a figure that, surprise surprise, is
proving unrealistic in the current financial climate. If he doesn’t
sell by early March, his company will be declared bankrupt and
stripped of its assets, which includes West Ham. Should that happen
the Hammers could be placed into administration with an immediate
point’s deduction. Sources close to Gudmundsson admitted "It is very
difficult to sell any football club right now, it is hard to maximise
value."
At Blackburn, relegation could finish the club – with wages accounting
for a staggering 85 per cent of turnover. Portsmouth and Liverpool’s
plans for new stadiums look to be going nowhere. Even money-bags
Abramovich has been hit by the collapse of the Russian stockmarket.
Infact Chelsea and Man Utd have a combined debt of £750 million! The
Mr.Big of football take-overs Keith Harris, said "We're in the
toughest economic situation anybody has endured in our lifetime, and
that means we are unlikely to see much activity on the football
takeover scene." An American investor ready to buy the ever troubled
Newcastle United had to pull out after they lost hundreds of millions
of dollars thanks to the Bernard Madoff fraud.
Of course it’s not just Premiership clubs that are feeling the pinch –
football clubs up and down the country have over-stretched themselves
and are in financial melt-down as sponsorship dry’s up.
In the week when Man City made a ridiculous £100 million bid for AC
Milan’s Kaka, Berkhamstead Town went to the wall after their
electricity was cut off because of an unpaid bill. With it go another
community asset and ninety years of history. Meanwhile Lewes,
Northwich, Grays, Weymouth, Workington, Salisbury, Folkestone,
Eastleigh, Stafford, Worcester, Leigh Genesis and Fisher are just some
of the non league clubs in financial trouble.
Football clubs are not just companies or rich men’s playthings, but
run properly can become part of the social glue that binds communities
together. It’s time more football fans took control of their clubs and
became a lot more questioning about the way football is run before the
game is ruined forever.

• Excellent website on football economics http://www.footballeconomy.com/

PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY

Printed in the Southern League South and West League match v North
Leigh Tuesday 20th January 2009. 1-1 draw in front of 205 people.



How old should your child be before you drag them along to a football
match? This was the question posed on the excellent Tony Kempster
website by one parent. Well as a dad I feel is part of my parental
responsibility to take my son and get him hooked on footie as young as
possible. Taking children to football is good for their social skills,
gets them used to crowds (well, sometimes there’s a crowd) and more
importantly, very good for their language skills!
Ruben was just 10 days old before his uncle Mad Beard Mark paid for
him to be match sponsor. Ruben slept through the game although he did
have the dubious honour of being breastfed in the Windsor and Eton
boardroom with pictures of royalty bearing down on him. Since then,
he’s come along to quite a few home games, a non league international
at Eastbourne and been on trips to Henley, Hendon, Andover, Uxbridge
and the Isle of Wight. Club-shop Sue brought him a little top which he
wore when he run out as a mascot with his cousin Liam last season. The
only problem being that he now thinks its ok to run on the pitch
anytime.
His last match was New Years Day when over 2,000 squashed into the
Dripping Pan to watch Lewes v Eastbourne, easily the biggest crowd of
his life. Only once did he complain about ‘too many people’ singing
‘Rebels, Rebels’ and getting very excited about the Eastbourne fans
rendition of Santa Claus. I did try to tell him that the Rebels was
also the nickname for Lewes arch rivals Worthing, and that Slough
weren’t playing, but it was only the lack of chips that really got him
upset. Infact ‘Rebels, Rebels’ is definitely one of his favourite
songs – and he gave a good rendition of it at a recent demo against
the Israeli bombing of Gaza!
I want to be a fly on the wall when Ruben explains to bewildered class-
mates that he supports Slough Town – a town, let alone a football
team, they doubtless will have never heard of. Mind you, at nursery
they think he is singing ‘Seagulls’, the nickname of Brighton and Hove
Albion, and it seems unnecessary to contradict them.
Probably unsurprisingly, Ruben now loves football – be it watching it
or playing it. Infact any ball game is popular - although the hitting-
toys-with-a-tennis-racket isn’t the best game in the world – for his
toys, the windows or our heads.
It seems obligatory at the lower levels of football to have a group of
kids knocking a ball about oblivious to the football on the pitch.
Luckily at Slough there are always quite a few kids home and away to
keep Ruben amused. But it's better to take him when there's little at
stake. When we were fighting relegation at Newport Isle of Wight, I
spent half my time chasing him away from puddles that would have
submerged him.
How long his love affair with Slough will last I don’t know. With work
starting on the brand new Brighton stadium just a mile away from our
house, he’ll no doubt be heading their sometime soon. He will love the
atmosphere, the football will no doubt be better, but there will be no
unofficial football matches, climbing over chairs, running up and down
their aisles or grass fights. And it will cost 25 quid to get in. So
to the man who asked about taking his kids to footie. Yes definitely,
but for smaller children, the non league experience wins everytime.

FOOTBALL FIX

Printed in the Southern League South and West match v Didcot Town Saturday 20th December 2008. We lost 3-2 in front of 295.

It was a freezing cold Saturday, Slough didn’t have a game, but I still needed my football fix. Finding myself in London to see the family’s newest addition (and the usual arguments over whether baby Natasha will support Man United or Chelsea!) I headed rather briskly up Summers Lane to see Wingate and Finchley take on Sutton United in the FA Trophy.
Wingate and Finchley were two separate clubs until 1991. Wingate were established after the Second World War by four Jewish sportsmen who believed football was a positive way to fight anti-Semitism. However, in 1972 they lost their ground thanks to the extension of the M1 motorway and although near neighbours, Finchley came to the rescue with a ground share arrangement, eventually the two clubs merged. They both now play at this famous old ground with its 1930’s Art Deco stand – a groundhoppers dream.
Unlike Sutton, I’ve been to the grandly named Abrahams Stadium a couple of times and things definitely seem to be on the up. They have refurbished their bar and seem to have a thriving youth team policy with lots of youngsters in team tracksuits. However, their fans were easily outnumbered by Sutton supporters. Being so close to Arsenal, Barnet and Enfield, the club struggle to reach crowds of three figures. The Sutton attendance of 149 easily the best of the season. As for the game, it was excellent and Wingate and Finchley’s youngsters should have won it. Still, they made sure in the replay, going through to the next round on penalties.
While I was freezing in North London, a small delegation from our club’s management committee were in Holland to check out Rijnsburgse Boys, who play in a small town near Amsterdam and have recently built a new stadium similar to the one proposed for us at Arbour Vale. Slough general secretary Roy Merryweather explained the reason for the visit: “Rijnburgse Boys play at a similar standard to Slough, but the main difference is that they are supported by large crowds and are really a thriving part of the local community.” Roy was joined by Chris Sliski and programme editor Glen Riley, who is apparently ‘concerned with projecting the image of the football club’, which if you see the state of Glen is a bit worrying!
Roy added: “If football is going to go forward in this country, we need to modernise and have facilities fit for the 21st century. If we don’t, crowds will continue dwindling and football clubs won’t be the centre of attraction for a town. We need to reach out to a bigger audience and give clubs a stronger chance of success. We want a community base and hub in the town, which will also encompass a wide range of recreational facilities for things like boxing, gymnastics, ballroom dancing — anything active.”
For me the visit to Holland again shows how far our club has moved in the right direction. That if we do end up at Arbour Vale, it will be more than just a football stadium but a sports hub for the whole town.
If we don’t take these lessons on board then we could end up in the same boat as Wingate FC and Finchley FC who had to merge to make ends meet. It’s up to all non league clubs to play a pivotal role in the local community and do what they can to attract new supporters like Natasha and her brother Rafi away from the child snatching claws of the Chelsea and Man United’s of this world!

ITS GOOD TO TALK

Printed in the Southern League South and West match v AFC Totton. A
decent 0-0 draw against the league leaders. Crowd 256


What is it with football owners and their inability to keep supporters
on board? I suppose businessman used to doing things their own way
have problems having to answer for their decisions. But answer they
have too – or the results can be disastrous.
Take Lewes. Not so long ago I held them up as models of how a football
club should be run. Then near the end of last season I got two phone
calls before the game where Lewes would be crowned champions and
promoted to the Blue Square Premier. I couldn’t quite believe what I
was hearing. The board had sacked their most successful manager ever.
Now Steve King isn’t the most likeable manager, with his constant
Wenger-esque whinging. But why was he sacked? Hand in the till? Hand
in someone’s knickers? Er, no. As one Lewes director put it "At no
time has Steve King been asked to get us promotion. He's created the
problem, if you like - and I don't mean this in a negative way -
because he's been so successful." That’s right, sacked for being too
successful!
For me the failure of the Lewes board was that they didn’t hold their
hands up and admit that promotion to the Blue Square Premier was a
step too far. It also says something about a league where too many
clubs have bankrupted themselves to try and compete. So it worth it?
At the last Lewes game I went too, the security creep of numb-knuckle
heads with stupid rules was all too evident. The sacking of King led
to a mass exodus of players they probably couldn’t afford anyway. It
also led to an exodus of support, including some of the most vocal
ones that really got the atmosphere going. And even with all the
ground improvements, much more was needed – a million pounds worth I
heard. Now I’m all for improving stadium for the spectator but once
again was ground grading going to cripple a club?
It isn’t always easy for chairman to let people know what’s going on -
even supporter-run clubs end up with battles and bust ups. When your
clubs not doing well, people are quick out with the knives. But surely
the message must always be more open. Supporters aren’t shareholders,
and the majority aren’t morons either. What if the Lewes board had
come clean and told everyone of their predicament – getting everyone
on board for a backs-against-the-wall siege mentality to try and raise
the cash and fight against a season of certain relegation?
Thankfully Slough Town, after many a cloak and dagger season, have got
Chairman Steve Easterbrook on board who has embraced the Glasnost
approach. People still moan, but then as I pointed out to one
supporter, if a load of naked woman turned up at his house with a
million quid, he’d still find something to complain about.
As for Lewes, they are rooted to the bottom of the Conference, lost at
home in the FA Cup to a team five leagues below them, and recently
recorded the lowest ever away support at Torquay United – five! They
are now up for sale. A Supporters Trust has been set up and hopefully
the attractive football that drew so many to the Pan will return and
the community work they have been so successful with will continue.
It’s good to aim for the stars but not if it destroys the club. With
the risk of annoying Lewes fans, maybe, just maybe the Blue Square
South and Ryman Premier is where they really belong.

A HOME TO BE PROUD OF

Published in the Southern South and West League game v Winchester
City. Slough beat the bottom club 4-0 in front of 250 very cold
supporters.



I make no apologies for forgetting about football in this column (well
we have had a forgettable last couple of months). Instead I’m going to
tell you about my dads amazing new flat. So what? Well this isn’t any
ordinary flat, nor is it a room in a ‘care home for the elderly.’ No
this is state of the art apartment, where my dad can ‘live
independently but within a supportive environment.’ And what an
environment! And what support!

There’s a spacious restaurant, where lunch is included in the rent
meaning everyone has to come down and socialize at dinner time and not
be stuck in their flats never seeing a soul. Visitors can also eat
there –before the Bracknell game I had poached egg on toast for 50p!
Next to the restaurant is a lounge overlooking the garden. There’s a
gym, a hairdressers, library, cinema, shop, and guest rooms for people
when they are visiting. The residents are encouraged to get involved
in the running of the place and rooms are also available for hire, so
different groups can use the space and make the place part of the
community, rather than a gated ‘old-people only’ community. The place
is wardened and there is always a nurse on hand with each resident
having an individual care package tailored to suit their needs. On top
of this is incredibly friendly and helpful staff.

The home at Northampton Avenue is part of Sloughs Extra Care housing
and is built on the site of the old Centre swimming pool in front of
Herschel school. It’s a partnership between Slough Council and the
charity Hanover Housing and another one is being built at the top end
of the Wexham Road. Although rent is expensive, my dad isn’t rich or
has money stashed away in the Cayman Islands, so with the right advice
and plenty of form filling he should have enough to get by.

I also have to sing the praises of all the council workers I have
dealt with, who have bent over backwards to help my dad and I’m sure
are sick of the sound of my voice. This is in stark contrast to the
utilities and private companies who try and rip people off at every
opportunity, and could take a leaf out of the council’s social
services department’s ability to communicate properly.

I really wonder how people are meant to cope, especially older people,
with the relentless amount of paperwork and bureaucracy that’s needed
to get by in our society, especially when moving home. When my dad was
first getting grief from a particularly unpleasant occupational
therapist, the council told me to contact Age Concern. Like a lot of
older people, my dad was insistent he didn’t need help from anybody.
Age Concern sent along Rashpal Singh who was so persuasive without
being pushy my dad relented and started to access services and money
he was entitled too. Rash has taken him to appointments when me or my
brother can’t get time off work, knowing where to go and who to
contact, generally just being there for him.

Getting old doesn’t always look much fun – but with more Extra Care
supportive housing the loneliness and isolation many older people
suffer, can be a thing of the past. Slough Council are apparently
trailblazers when it comes to support for the elderly, so if
Betjeman’s bombs ever do fall in Slough, I hope they miss this amazing
new housing development that all the residents of Slough should be
extremely proud of.

We hate Wycombe - still!

Printed in the Southern League South and West match v Bishops Cleeve Saturday 8th November 2008. We drew 1-1 in front of 195 people. Bishops equalized in the 94th minute, which means we have lost 8 points at home this season by conceding goals in the last 5 minutes of the match!


There’s been lots of talk recently about our old rivals Wycombe Wanderers. Our games against them were always something to look forward too, if not always memorable – but that was usually due to my alcohol consumption rather than a comment on the game! The first and only time I got on the back of a motorbike was to get a lift to watch one of the last games against Slough on their famous slopped pitch. There was a game on New Years Day which me and still regular supporter Damian went too. Everyone had been partying hard the night before and with very little sleep, if any, I have no idea of the score or what happened. Then there was that almighty ding-dong when we were challenging for the Conference title. My local pub the Wheatsheaf was full of Slough supporters up for travelling to the big games – with unofficial coach trips to Colchester, Reading and Wycombe. The problem was getting people to leave the bloody pub and so inevitably we always arrived late. Usually that wasn’t a problem, but at Wycombe the ground was full to bursting, so a few of us more determined ones jumped over the fence while the less nimble watched from the hill side. The official attendance was 7,230 but unofficially it was a lot more and was the record Conference crowd for many years.
Since those heady days, we have been in free fall and Wycombe have even reached the dizzy heights of League Two. So do I feel envious or want to swap places with the old enemy? As crazy as it might sound, the answer is a resounding no. My chauffer and man with the big lens Gary House reckons it will be weird enough if we do get a ground back in Slough and start attracting the large crowds I know we are capable off. No doubt club shop Sue will come up with a marketing opportunity to get us to part with more of our money – how about limited edition t-shirts proclaiming – ‘we were the Slough fans when we were crap!’ (But will it be like the first ever Sex Pistols gig with everyone claiming they were there?) With gates hovering around 300 and half of those willing to travel to away games, you do get to meet most people over a season. I know when I’ve taken my son Ruben to games, he has plenty of unofficial aunts and uncles, along with other feral Rebel children to keep him amused when he’s bored of the footie.
League football has too many rules and regulations, segregation and fan-baiting rather than friendly banter in the bar. Even the Conference (sorry, Blue Square Premier) seems overpriced and over-policed. Our trip to Gravesend a few seasons back in the Trophy said it all. Putting all Slough supporters on a bit of uncovered terracing in the pouring rain didn’t seem to be in the spirit of non league footie. Neither did being surrounded and monitored by stewards throughout the whole game. Still shrinking violet Sue certainly let the stewards know she thought they were being overzealous!
No, Wycombe can keep their league position, their ground stuck at the end of an industrial park; their overpriced and over policed league footie. Non League footie suits me just fine. Infact the only thing I would keep is the rivalry between the two clubs – Windsor just don’t come a patch on it. So lets hope a couple of Wycombe relegations can see us playing each other in the Blue Square South sometime soon.

WHAT A PLONKER

Published in the Southern League South and West game v AFC Hayes 4th November 2008. We lost 3-2 in front of 208 people and are now two
points off the relegation spot.


Mobiles, email, internet forums, off-your-facebook, MySpace, YouDrivel
– so many avenues of communication where you can have your say. But
there seems to be a serious design fault with all of these. The
failure of the computer geeks to put in a plonker button that disables
threads and stops the idiots that plague website forums across the
world in their tracks. Or what about a devise that acts as a
breathalyser where it can smell if you have had too much to drink, and
stop your post until the morning when you can reconsider it in the
cold, sober light of day.
For those of you who never browse the Slough Town web boards, these
past few weeks have been very busy indeed. Despite a club that’s been
rejuvenated from basket-case to one with a fighting future, there’s no
pleasing some people. And that’s ok, within reason. I’m all for free
speech, but some people don’t seem to have the clubs best interests at
heart. They say – I pay me money, I have a right to say as I please,
even if that right damages the club.
I remember ex manager Eddie Denton moaning about our forum; just how
was he meant to convince players to sign for us when their first port
of call for checking their potential new club will be its forum. The
abuse, the squabbling, and the attack on players – no thanks, I’ll go
elsewhere.
Former Oxford United Manager Jim Smith went on the warpath, blaming
football forums for making everyone a manager and then there’s the
radio phone-in where anyone with a big gob and little understanding of
football can mouth off.
Don’t get me wrong; giving supporters a voice is a good thing. I was
involved in one of the Slough Town fanzines ‘Rebels Without A Clue’
which was part of the wave of independent football fanzines that
started demanding a right to be heard and has culminated in the
Supporters' Trust movement and fans run clubs.
But some of the stuff I read on our forum is just childish,
destructive dross. If you’ve got a beef about something or a question,
why not speak to officials, the players and managers in the bar after
the game? Is that so difficult? I also think people forget that we are
playing eight levels below the bloody Premiership, with part time
management and players who have a life, family and jobs outside Slough
Town. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t aim to be professional, but
let’s not demand the impossible.
It’s worth remembering that people have off days at work – and that
includes players. Would you like to have your bad day at work
criticised and splashed across a forum the next day?
For the 33 per cent of the population who have never used a computer,
this article will seem irrelevant. But for everyone, computer literate
or not, if you think something needs sorting at the club, get involved
to make it happen. Mouthing off and ranting crap on a computer might
make you feel great, but take a look in the mirror and make sure you
don’t have the words plonker staring back at you.

IN THE STOCKS

Published in the Southern League South and West match v Truro City. Saturday 25th October 2008. We drew 3-3, conceding in the last minute to a team who have only shipped 6 goals this season and are favourites for the title. Crowd 295.


With economic recession now sweeping the globe, I have an idea of how to attract more people to our games. Let’s patrol the mean streets of South Bucks and round up those wealthy bankers who’ve got us in such as mess, and put them in the stocks before the game so people can throw rotten veg at them. OK, it might seem to harp back to medieval times, but with seemingly no laws for ripping off whole economies, it seems only fair.
Being questioned in Washington Richard Fuld, boss of the bankrupt Lehman Brothers said he felt "horrible." The chair began questioning him "Your company is now bankrupt and our country is in a state of crisis. You get to keep $480m. Is that fair?" Lehman also gets to keep his houses including a $14m ocean-front villa in Florida and one in an exclusive ski resort, plus an art collection filled with million dollar paintings. I’m sure he does feel "horrible."
We have become blinded by a wealthy elite, but as the economy goes down the pan, the super rich won’t face redundancy, be clobbered by fuel bills, or lose their houses. No they walk away with millions.
This sort of behaviour isn’t really surprising when you consider that in law, the corporation is considered a "person." But what kind of person? Using the World Health Organisation's checklist for personality types, Joel Bakan, author of The Corporation, concludes that it has the personality of a psychopath! It has a callous disregard for the feelings and safety of others; deceitfulness; an incapacity to experience guilt; failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviour. Infact shareholder profit is its only motivation.
The problem for football is that these psychopaths are in charge of our clubs and running and ruining the game. At QPR Britain's richest man Lakshmi Mittal owns the club with Formula One bosses Bernie Ecclestone and Flavio Briatore. Season tickets prices have gone up 50% and increase are now planned for match day tickets. They recently tried to charge visiting Derby fans £40 to watch a game until the Football League stepped in. Man United asked QPR if they wanted to make the tickets for the league cup match cheaper but the QPR board declined. Still QPR fans can now dine in the grounds own Cipriani restaurant, with Briatore declaring that QPR would host "boutique football". Hello? "It's like... if you have a hotel, a boutique hotel, that only has 50 rooms, while a grand hotel has 400 rooms. We only have 20,000 seats, and we will offer the best service to the fans... you know, it's going to look amazing."
QPR’s Loyal Supporters Association issued a statement saying they are against all forms of discrimination - including discrimination on economic grounds. “We feel the club is excluding a section of our fans who are no longer able to pay the very high prices asked. It may also be a very short sighted policy, given that the economy is in recession, people are losing their jobs and inflation is rocketing. People may make the choice in these hard times to stop paying high prices to watch a live match.” But then these loyal but poor fans are hardly who the new owners want to come and see the new "boutique football" on offer.
So if you fed up with being ripped off come and see Slough play instead. Cheap footie watched from the terraces – you might even be able to grab yourself a cup of Bovril if you ask nicely, and get to throw some rotten veg at some psychopathic bankers.

FINANCIAL RELEGATION

Printed in the Southern League South and West match v Uxbridge
Saturday 11th October 2008. After winning 3 games on the trot and
being eighth in the league, we go and lose 2-1 in front of 293
people.


The collapse of the financial markets, thanks to a casino of greed and
short term gain, isn’t so very different from the way many of our
football clubs are run. Alan Sugar once remarked that many of the
chairman that run footie clubs are like the bloke who blows all his
money in a weekend, then spends the rest of his life paying back for
the blow-out.
So will the collapse of the financial system affect football? Already
Liverpool’s plans for a new ground are on hold; but then the two
Liverpool owners bought the club with banks money not their own, and
banks aren’t so keen on lending cash to anyone at the moment.
West Brom have no shirt sponsor, while Aston Villa has donated its
shirt rights to Acorns, a children's hospice. Meanwhile both West Ham
and Manchester United have lost their shirt sponsors; Man United now
presumably sponsored by the American government who have taken over
AIG, the world's biggest insurance company. Does that mean that anyone
who dares beat them will have President Bush threatening a missile
attack for having the cheek to damage the United brand? Will offending
referees be carted off to Guantanamo Bay?
While not related to the credit crunch the story of Gretna Town is
just another example of how suicidal it is to hedge your bets and rely
on one mans cash. Non league is littered with these examples – Colne
Dynamos, Telford United, Hornchurch….
Which is why it is important we all join the Slough Town Supporters
Trust.
Granted we’ve finally got a chair and management team who have knocked
order and financial stability into the club, but rather than holding
out a continuous begging bowl we need as many streams of income as
possible. Of course this is difficult without your own ground, but
just as we are getting it right on the pitch (and isn’t it nice to be
enjoying football again!), it’s just as important we are getting it
right off the pitch as well. The Supporters Trust have a pivotal role
to play in this.
This season the Trust have sponsored the Under 18’s. Have paid the
costs for the first team and Under 18’s to train at the Polish club.
They run the 50/50 and 500 draw. They organise and subsidize coach
travel to away games as well as put on occasional events and of course
the annual sponsored walk.
If things ever go tits up we probably can’t expect to be bailed out by
the government (isn’t it ironic, all these financial companies that
lobbied hard to have all restrictions lifted on them so they could do
as these please, now need government support. I also love the way
these people equate the interests of the financial sector with the
interests of everyone else – yes getting a million pound bonus really
does help me out. Thanks). But if things go wrong the Trust are also
in position to take over the running of the club.
We are in the midst of an unprecedented financial meltdown, with the
world markets collapsing around us. Perhaps supporting a football team
seems a bit frivolous during the coming times but as one supporter
pronounced "Obviously, if people lose their jobs, some will have to
give up going to the match if they need the money to feed their kids.
Mind you, I'm not one of them!"

* To join the Trust go to the Trust hut before our home games. And
don’t forget to throw your loose change into the collecting buckets on
the way out.

THE PANTOMIME SEASON HAS BEGUN

Printed in the Southern League South and West Division match v
Cirenester Town Saturday 20th September 2008. We won 3-2 in front of
263 people and are now 10th in the league.



Manchester City have always been a club that likes a bit of panto, so
it’s a match made in heaven to have been sold by ex Thai Prime
Minister Thaksin with a frozen bank account to a bloke who makes Roman
Abromivich look like a street beggar.

City's new owner, Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahya is set to use
Manchester City as a battering ram to improve football in the Gulf and
enhance the international reputation of the United Arab Emirates. His
big mouth spokesman Dr Al Fahim's said that he hoped "the purchase of
City will help raise the profile of Abu Dhabi” and just to make sure
that we knew they meant business he offered £135m for Ronaldo. Fahim
is behind TV show Hydra Executives, loosely modelled on The
Apprentice, but with a prize of a million dollars dwarfing the
unenviable chance to Alan Sugar being your boss. There are big plans
for it be shown in America and the UK.

The Sheikh was apparently swayed by Man City thanks to an 83-page
blueprint, ‘A New Model for Partnership in Football.’ Behind the
document is former Nike executive Garry Cook, who was recruited by
Thaksin earlier in the summer. Cook was appalled at the poor marketing
of City and has big plans to change that. How about a partnership with
Red Bull to bring out drinks like City Powered and some designer
clothing stores. Tapping into the Indian market bringing out a range
of cars and branded motorcycle helmets. Or the Chinese market with
China Mobile and City-branded phone cards. Cook also said City should
be signing superstars for their commercial properties alone,
regardless of footballing considerations and criticized manager Mark
Hughes for being in his comfort zone.

Cook also reckons the Premier League should be reduced to ten elite
clubs with no relegation – even if that would leave the club he
supposedly supports Birmingham City, in the cold. As for working for
Thaksin, a man who has been described by Human Rights Watch as a
"human rights abuser of the worst kind", Cook said " Is he a nice guy?
Yes. Is he a great guy to play golf with? Yes. Does he have plenty of
money to run a football club? Yes. I really care only about those
three things.’’

Somewhere amongst all this is the game of football. With managers
already walking because of interfering chairman, the Sheikh will no
doubt expect nothing less than success – especially when the bloody
marketing man is already having a pop! Meanwhile Premier League boss
Richard Scudamore talks of the leagues 'virtuous circle' describing
last seasons as “arguably, our most compelling competition yet.” Yeah
right, none of us saw Man United and Chelsea in the top two and
Liverpool and Arsenal occupying the other Champions League spot.

We all love a bit of panto and City might have just stumbled into
Aladdin’s cave, so does any of this matter? I reckon it does. We’ve
come to the point where you now need to find a billionaire Sheikh to
able to muscle into the big four. But it is the Peter Pan economics of
Never land where relegation needs to be abolished so the brand isn’t
damaged. Any ambition of reaching the top is over for the majority of
football clubs. But football thrives on competition, unpredictability,
on the underdogs occasionally winning. Instead all that has been
replaced by clubs becoming brands, where owning one is a vehicle to
exert political muscle.

Problem is that if you take away the competition in football just what
have you got left?

TRAVEL SICKNESS

Printed in the Southern League South and West league game v Thatcham Town Monday 25^th August 2008. A 1-1 draw in front of 278 with Thatcham equalizing in the eighth minute of injury time!

I know beggars can’t be choosers, but some of the travelling this season is ridiculous. I’m not having a pop at Truro, but surely at this level, travelling should be kept to a minimum.

The pyramid has been a wonderful thing for the non-league game. Successful clubs can rise and rise until they ‘do a Wimbledon’ and gatecrash the big four in the Premiership (Oh, sorry that sort of nonsense was stopped by the Premiership rules which says you must have a dodgy foreign owner in order to win the league).

It’s mad enough that in the Blue Square Premier the part-timers of Barrow will be travelling to the part-timers of Lewes, let alone that four leagues below them Slough have long trips to Cinderford and Bridgwater.

I know there is always going to be problems for clubs out on a geographically limb, but with oil prices rising and the knock on effect that has with everything going up (except wages, where the poor must eat gruel, while the super rich must be not be allowed to pay any taxes in case they up sticks and go and live elsewhere) travelling is becoming a serious expense for clubs already struggling to make ends meet.

OK, some Slough fans will argue that the Oxfordshire and the South West is preferable to the M25. Well, actually shopping at Tesco’s is preferable to a journey on the M25 (maybe not) but that’s not the point.

I think one way of overcoming some of the problems is creating a Blue Square Midlands, although knowing our luck we would win a couple of promotions and be shoved in it for a laugh. Ideally the Blue Square Premier should be regionalised as well, but that’s never going to happen until lots more clubs go bust and Altrincham get a relegation reprieve for the 12^th year running.

I know its exciting going to new places after years of Boreham Wood and Billericay.

And quite frankly a trip to Truro beats a day out at Windsor’s Slug Meadow any day of the week (well maybe not a weekday as we’d all have to take two days off work just to get to Cornwall and back, and wouldn’t we laugh if the game was called off!). But can we have some common sense, so we don’t see the first club go bust cos they can’t afford their transport bills.

Maybe Slough can find an oil baron to sponsor us? I’ve heard the Saudi Arabian monarchy are looking to invest in English football teams to help present themselves in a more favourable light. If the ex Thai Prime Minister can pass the football leagues ‘fit and proper’ test, then no doubt a few more authoritarian human rights abusers should be ok.

Maybe Anil the coachdriver, can convert the supporters coach to run on chip-fat – there must be enough old buckets of the stuff lying around footie grounds to keep his coach running for years. Or maybe we can just suck the chip and burger fat directly out of the stomachs of those rotund non league fans that want to loose a few pounds and will do anything to help keep their local football club alive.

REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL

Printed in the Southern League South and West Division league game v Burnham Saturday 16^th August 2008. A fast and furious 2-2 draw in front of 315 - our best league gate for quite a while.

So at last our luck seems to have changed. Instead of having to play at our lowest ever level, Slough Town Football Club got a reprieve thanks to Halifax Town going into administration. We didn’t get relegated. We won’t be playing in the FA Vase or the Dog and Duck Division 12. Instead, it’s as your were, staying put in the Southern League South and West section.

It was strange that last game of the season. We lost to Fleet, yet as the Fleet players huddled in the middle to celebrate a play off place, it was the Slough players who were cheered off by at least 200 Rebels in attendance, fifteen of them who had walked 26 long miles to get there.

Let’s be honest. We deserved to be relegated, and each season clubs get a reprieve I feel that it can’t be right, especially with teams like Altrincham cheating relegation for the third season in a row. But what the heck. We deserve a bit of luck after 10 years of gloriously nose diving into oblivion.

But you must also earn your luck. After years of financial mismanagement which started long before we lost our ground at Wexham Park, we have got a chairman and committee who have started putting the building blocks in place to run a sustainable, successful, community run football club. Sometimes you just need to hit rock bottom to make some serious root and branch reform.

And about bloody time too! So with the new season upon us, I approach it with anticipation and hope that we won’t be in another relegation battle and could even reach the dizzy heights of the top half of the table.

The reasons to be cheerful?

Youth Team. A new Slough Town youth team playing in the Allied Counties League. A stepping stone into the first team; a chance to hold onto some of our promising youngsters.

Stall in the Observatory. For over five weeks this is a wonderful way of raising the profile of the club. I spent a couple of hours watching all comers, taking fixture lists, chatting to the stall holders, trying to attract business sponsorship and generally reminding people that Slough Town FC exist.

Lottery. A regular steady income raising cash for the club – and a chance to pocket some money yourself. Go on, it’s only a fiver a month standing order.

Meetings in the Herschel. Following the successful end of season bash in the friendly town centre pub, get togethers have taken place during the closed season. The landlord Tom has sponsored today’s game, and its got to be a good thing to have a presence in the town, again reminding people that Slough actually has a football club!

Adverts in Slough Observer. Opening the local paper to a full page coloured advert for the club. Brilliant – with apparently more to come. There are also match day posters available for people to put up in their local shops and pubs.

Season ticket promotion and sales. Luring us with a chance to win a thousand quid if we bought our season tickets before the end of July was a masterstroke. To date ticket sales are 136 compared to 82 last season – a 65% increase for a team that’s been relegated twice in two seasons!

Local Radio. Time106 FM will be promoting and covering all Slough’s matches this season, with regular news, information, promotions, match reports and interviews.

Supporters Trust. The Trust continues to back the club and at its recent AGM agreed to donate £1,500 to Slough Town juniors to help pay for match fees at Beaconsfield and £800 to pay the training fee facilities’ for the first team and the junior team at the Polish club. So don’t forget to renew your sub and throw any loose change into the collecting buckets at the end of the game.

The proposed new ground at Arbour Vale. Watch this space!

Our chairman. Final word must go to Steve Easterbrook who has brought his professionalism to the club. Steve is approachable and not afraid to get his hands dirty such as helping to run the Observatory stall.

So here’s too the new season – well it can’t be as bad as the last two can it? And it’s not just because I’ve got fingers crossed and blind optimism that I think we will do alright, but because of lots of bloody hard work that’s been happening behind the scenes over the past few months.

END OF THE ROAD

Published in the last home game of the season v Godalming Town Sat 12^th April 2008. We won 3-2 in front of 205 people, which means we ain’t relegated just yet!

Well it’s the end of another season, or at least our last home game of the season. And whereas last season we really were the leagues basket-case club, this time it’s been different - hasn’t it?!

OK, for much of the time the team has we’ve been woeful and relegation and a run in the FA Vase next season looks very likely. Infact the situation is so desperate we are now relying on a team going bust or another bout of non league re-organisation to save us from relegation into the Dog and Duck league. Not that I’ve got anything against dogs or ducks, no football club has a right to be in any league, you have to earn it and having no ground, six managers and over 100 players in two seasons was never going to be a recipe for success.

As I look at my notes for last seasons final home game I said “Will we have a decent squad to compete? What will our playing budget be? Where will the club be playing? Will there be any news on a move back to Slough? Will be have an exciting FA Cup run? Will we have more local lads playing? Will Sue really set up a tequlla bar in the club shop when she takes over as club shop manager? And will we still have a club to support!”

Well off the playing field things have changed dramatically. For starters we are at Beaconsfield, a bit further away than Windsor but at least its on the Slough Road and has got some covered terracing and a bar that sells beer that’s drinkable. We’ve got Arbour Vale as a possible new ground back in the town. A successful businessman has taken over as chairman, who seems to have his head screwed on rather than our former one whose heads shall we say politely seemed to be as much in the clouds as one of his ideas for a new ground. There’s a new management committee and lots of new iniatitives to raise make the club a bit more sustainable. Meanwhile Sue has been on a club-shop sales pitch roll that would make Alan Sugar proud.

After today, we’ve got 3 really important games. Us supporters can help make a big difference – so i hope as many of you travel to the Isle of Wight, Bridgwater and Fleet to make some noise and help the players pull off a mirarcle and stop us being relegated again.

In fact, once again the supporters have picked up plaudits along the way and really it is amazing when i’m on a nearly full coach to Bridgwater with plenty of others travelling by car and train when we’ve had nothing much too shout about for the past two seasons apart from how incredibly crap we’ve been.

Still football is full of ups and downs. As John Tebbit’s mentioned recently in the programme in his ‘Legends’ series; in the early sixties Slough Town were lucky to get 100 through the turnstiles. A few successful seasons and thousands started to come. Just look at clubs like Dartford, Leamington, Maidstone, Chelmsford – clubs that have lost their grounds or gone bust, now rising up the leagues. But these clubs have done it through lots of hard graft and we know that’s what lies ahead for us.

I leave the last word to a friend who came along to that Wimbledon game last season when we got thrashed 9-0 but refused to stop partying "Amazing spirit in the Slough camp. Here you are on the worst defeat of the worst season in your history joking, non-stop singing, having a party, supporting the team through it all. None of the blank faces, depression, whinging, getting on your team's back, sack everyone etc. The Rebels can't fail to return with support like that."

It’s a long way back, but the ever optimistic in me says that one day we will again be a force in non league football. Now I just need to get my map out to see where the hell London Tigers and Oxhey Jets play.