THE NAME GAME

Printed in the Southern League Midlands Division match v Bedworth United. We won 2-0 in front of 241 spectators and are now second!


Only Newcastle United’s clown owner Mike Ashley could come up with such a crap re-branding. Forget St.James Park, Newcastle now play at the sportsdirect.com@St.James' Park Stadium. Doesn’t that just roll off the tongue; I can already hear Toon Army fans scratching their heads to try and incorporate it into songs.
Just as I hate it when old pub names are lost under some trendy new moniker, I can’t stand it when traditional football stadium names go the same way. Surely there’s other ways of raising sponsorship, or god forbid, reducing players wages so clubs don’t have to bow to the corporate hammer and squeeze every drop of cash out of everything.
York City went from Bootham Crescent to Kit Kat Crescent, Bournemouth’s Dean Court became the Fitness First Stadium, but is now looking for new sponsors. Everyone’s favourite football romantics Accrington Stanley played at the Crown Ground, until it was renamed the passion killing Interlink Express Stadium, then the Fraser Eagle Stadium until that company went bust. Dagenham and Redbridge’s Victoria Road has become quite the mouthfall – welcome to ‘the London Borough of Barking & Dagenham Stadium’. Witton Albion have played at the Bargain Booze Stadium, Cambridge United briefly played at the Trade Recruitment Stadium and are now at the R Costings Abbey Stadium, while Kettering's Rockingham Road has just been renamed Elgoods Brewery Arena. When Graham Westley took over as chairman/manager/god at Farnborough Town, amongst other things, he renamed the ground 'The Aimita Stadium' after his company, but as soon as the pratt left it was changed back to Cherrywood Road. Locals at Stocksbridge Park Steels delightfully named Bracken Moor Ground have refused to call it the Look Local stadium, much of the dismay of the sponsors the Look Local newspaper.
Sometimes it does work - sort of. Pontefract Collieries for some reason play at the Abstract Stadium, while Rugby Leagues Castleford Tigers play at the Jungle after former sponsor Jungle.com. When Argos bought the company, they severed all their links with the Tigers but the club decided to keep the name. The Oval, bastion of English cricket, is now "The Brit Oval", following a sponsorship deal with an insurance firm. Of course compared with American sports, British sponsorship is the epitome of subtlety. Thank god we haven’t yet got the Pizza Hut Park and or Dick's Sporting Goods Park!
Mind you, if renaming football stadiums is bad enough, what about renaming whole football clubs, which seems popular in Welsh football. The owner of TNS waged a war with the BBC to get them to read out Welsh Premier League results – nothing to do with the fact that it would have been free advertising for his company. TNS are now The New Saints, wherever that is. The oldest football club in Wales, Cefn Druids have already been renamed 3 times by different sponsors and are currently Elements Cefn Druids.
As for Newcastle, well the Newcastle United Supporters Trust summed up the new name perfectly “Newcastle is beginning to resemble one of Mr Ashley’s famous sales at Sports Direct - chaotic, cheap and a shambles. Now, as his latest slap in the face to the fans and the city, he wants to sell off the famous name of St James‘ Park. Everything he does now seems to be calculated to thumb a nose at his customers.”
If the idea of re-branding is to make more money, then it seems rather short sighted if you manage to alienate your customers – sorry football supporters – along the way. Maybe Ashley should have hooked up with some bath and toilet manufacturer and renamed St.James Park down-the-plughole.com?

HEART OF THE COMMUNITY

Printed in the Southern League Midlands Division game v Bromsgrove Rovers Tuesday 17th November 2009. We won 3-2 in front of 209 people.


Me and Gary Big Lens were coming back from footie half-listening to Radio 5 football phone when a Rochdale fan rang the programme. He asked why his team weren’t being given a bit of a mention after they had gone to league leaders Bournemouth and won 4-0. Surely that deserved some recognition? The presenter couldn’t have been ruder and basically put the phone down. Didn’t that Rochdale fan know that there were hundreds of Man United ‘supporters’ waiting on the lines to tell the nation that they had seen Fergie picking his nose and complaining about referees? Or that Arsene Wenger was French and annoyed about something. That phone call summed up the massive hurdles all smaller clubs must face trying to get in the lime-light, win over new fans and get them through the turnstiles. There have been endless debates on how to do this, and complaints on every non league footie forum I have ever read about people not being interested. But I reckon you need a bit of imagination and a lot of dedication (and winning the odd game helps as well) to drag those Sky-eyed Premiership punters through the turnstiles.
One club got recognition for their efforts by winning the Football Foundation Community Club of the Year at the National Game Awards. UniBond Premier League side Marine, based in Crosby, Liverpool polled over 20 times the number of votes of its nearest rival by the readers of the Non League Paper. With last season’s average attendance of 268 they still managed to beat the likes of Wrexham and Oxford United, so they must be doing something right. But what? Well they promote the club in over 20 schools, let under 11s in for free with an adult and dish out free season tickets for primary school children. They stage community days at league matches and collected the most pairs of boots in the "Boots for Africa" appeal for which the Mariners received a separate award from Henkel Consumer Adhesives, the catchy named company that sponsors the Unibond League. Marine Community Development Officer Barry Lenton said, "It was an honour to be presented with the trophy on behalf of Marine and it vindicated all the work that we have done over the past six years in ensuring that Marine is at the heart of the community in Crosby."

Marine Chairman Paul Leary added, "This really is a fitting tribute to the work in the community carried out by Barry Lenton over a number of years. Since his appointment he has worked tirelessly with local schools and the media to promote Marine Football Club. His promotions and ideas have provided a lot of enjoyment and fun for many children and their parents visiting Marine some of whom have become regular supporters. This award inspires us to do more and Barry and I are to enter discussions with some special needs groups in the area to invite them to attend a number of games next season." All this promotion has also got themselves a young band supporters who also knock out the tunes - even managing to come up with songs about their leagues sponsors Henkel (which considering they produce adhesives and sealants is pretty impressive). Next stop is working with the local nuns to hold bucket collections at the ground. As one supporter put it “It’s important to have God on our side as we start the new season.”
God might help those that believe in him, but it’s obvious that Marine’s relentless hard work is the best way to achieve miracles and get the local population supporting their team.

WE DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’RE DOING

Printed in the Southern League Midlands Division match v Rothwell Town. We beat the team second in the table 4-1 in front of 245 happy fans (ok, maybe not the 5 Rothwell fans that made the journey).


All football fans ask ourselves occasionally why do we bother. Spending time and money watching our team put us through agony. A long trip home after a dismal defeat in the freezing cold. I have had the football blues over years, but nothing compared to Match of the Day and One Show presenter Adrian Chiles. After reading his book ‘We don’t know what we’re doing’ which follows his team West Bromwich Albion during yet another relegation from the Premiership, you see that the love for his team is clearly doing him no good. At one point in his book Gordon Strachan complains bitterly about his miserable Match of the Day companion, but over time is dragged down to Chiles level!
But this book isn’t all star studied, but about the ordinary fan and the reason why people support a club. It’s more than just watching a football match. As Chiles points out, do you get the same outpouring of emotion at say the theatre? ‘I’m on coach number one of sixteen, and as we pull away from the Hawthorns, I fell suddenly, unashamedly, profoundly emotional. Being abroad one of this fleet fosters a special sense of belonging.’ One woman who works for a law firm has hardly missed a game in 40 years ‘People sometimes say I’m mad, but what do they get excited about? Shopping?’ The book is built round these characters. The bloke who drags himself from his hospital bed to games. The couple who name their son Albion. The football mad Vicar. Chiles tells of one Albion supporters who now lives in a little fishing village in New Zealand. ‘I was really passionate. It was a massive part of my life. Life used to be dictated by the Albion schedule. My wife used to get really fed up with it. She’s happier now. I’m happier now – my life is better. It’s better because this is a great place to live but it’s also because I’m so far away from the Albion.’ Another supporter who tells him how he came late to the Albion, incurs the wrath of one puzzled fan. ‘I don’t know how he let it happen to him. It’s like smoking, if you start when you’re a kid, fair enough. But if you start when you are order, we’ll you know the dangers…’
As he watches Albion lose again, one of his non footballing friends he has dragged along, asks him ‘why do you put yourself through this.’ Chiles even enlists a psychiatrist to see if football fans are in fact insane. A question we have all been asked by our partners or people who don’t like football. But reading this book, with all the banter, friendships, day outs, also gives the answer to that question. Infact his non footballing mate commented on the community spirit. “I was jealous of that. Because it was just like extended family, and more than that, there’s a huge range of people you meet. And that’s a very rare opportunity to meet different people. To have those kind of relationships, I’m genuinely jealous of that.”
If you’re looking for a present for someone this Christmas then I totally recommend this book.

POST SERVICE APOCALYPSE

Printed in the Southern League Midland Division match v Woodford
United 3rd November 2009. We won 1-0, attendance 206.


Legendary Slough Town goal scorer Ian Hodge was one. Quite a few of
our die-hard supporters are too. Alan Johnson rose from the Slough
ranks to union official to Home Secretary. We are talking about postal
workers, and how their selfish actions are bringing the country to its
knees; infact civilisation is about to fall because we have to wait a
few extra days for our letters. Of course the fact that the universal
post service is cheap and reliable and that people in the countryside
get the same service as those in inner cities means nothing to those
that want to parcel it up to the highest bidder. Royal Mail and the
government want to break the union, cut peoples pay and conditions and
herald in a privatised, fragmented service. Just think of the
unreliable Slough bus service or the over-priced trains if you want to
see what prospects are in store if private companies take over the
Royal Mail.
Slough supporter and postie Damian told me “Royal Mail recently
announced that mail traffic was due to fall by 10% a year and to
counter this they were going to engage in a period of “modernization”.
The reality of this was that were going to lay off 30% of the
workforce, freeze pay indefinitely and engage in a period of Executive
Action which would see a posties workload increase between 30-40%. All
of this bypassed a previously negotiated agreement with the
Communications Workers Union.
Most of the general public seems to take the view that as they see
postmen in the bookies, on the golf course or in the pub every weekday
afternoon they don’t really work very hard anyway. Bear in mind that
most postmen start work between 5 and 6 in the morning and have to
work in all weathers usually without any sort of break. The nature of
the business is such that there are days which are very busy and days
which are quiet.
Not a single one of us wants to go on strike and lose money but
neither do we want to be exploited for poor wages while the guys at
the top continue to earn massive bonuses for what, they keep telling
us, is a failing company. A company in so much trouble that they
managed to make profits last year of ONLY £321 million.
Of course really Royal Mail is worried about the massive self
inflicted pension deficit not to mention their desperation to sell off
the loss making deliveries sector to the highest bidder. So for
Modernization read Privatisation. Try and send a birthday card to your
relatives in Inverness for 39p then.”
We hear never ending talk of broken Britain and the break down of the
family – then work the longest hours in Europe so people never get to
see their kids. Other political parties with their millionaire backers
and even richer MPs, claim we are all in this recession together.
Yeah, right. While 3,500 post offices are closed across the country
and public services must be cut to pay the price for banker’s greed,
bankers are once again giving themselves more bonuses this Christmas.
As for the boss of Royal Mail Adam Crozier, he has bumped up his own
wages from around £114,000 a year when he started in 2003 to over a
million quid today! As for the striking Slough Town posties; well the
least we can do is buy them a pre match pint to show our support and
let them know that a decent, universal postal service where posties
aren’t treated like dirt is something worth striking for.

UNTIL THE NEXT TIME

Printed in the Southern League Midlands Division league match v
Stourport Swifts Saturday 24th October 2009. We won 3-2 in front 244
people and are six in the league.


Isn’t it slightly odd that just as the FA Cup comes into peoples
radars, the majority of teams who have competed in the competition are
already out. By the 1st round proper there has already been six rounds
and 75 per cent of the clubs knocked out.
As for Slough after five games spanning three months it was our turn
to bid farewell, with the final still eight months away! Still, I
don’t know about you, but our FA Cup run put a smile back on my face
after seasons of pulling my hair out.
I know most big clubs don’t care about the FA Cup anymore, but for us
lower league lifeforms scutterling along at the bottom of the pile
looking for crumbs of glory and some extra cash, it’s really something
to savor. From Tring to Tooting it’s been a good fun and there really
is something special about the cup that draws in bigger crowds and
gets the adrenalin pumping. A last gasp equalizer against Hemel then
our second half backs against the wall in the replay, followed by a
stroll against Concord Rangers only really livened up by their manager
who seriously needs some anger management lessons.
Then that game at Tooting on a sunny October day where we could start
dreaming that we were just two wins away from a possible game Leeds
United or Charlton.
Being in London I managed to drag quite a few mates along, some of us
sampling the excellent Croydon tram system that really should be
rolled out across the country.
Tooting’s ground is impressive, although I wonder if it was designed
by someone who lives in Southern Italy. It’s high stands and no back
cover for the stands behind the goal doesn’t seem to offer much
resistance to the English winter. With only one turnstile open and a
impressive Slough turn-out, the crowd snaked into the car park, and as
it turned out Tooting’s biggest ever FA Cup attendance at their new
ground. Helped of course by no Premiership games and the England game
live exclusively on your computer screen (and we won’t mention a
certain person who went to the old ground, now a housing estate,
despite the fact that he has already been to the new ground before!).
In the end my mates said it was a great game, the eight year old we
dragged along saying it was the best he had ever seen as Slough
recovered from being 3-0 down to battering the Tooting goal looking
for an equalizer. A victory would have got us Conference sea-siders
Eastborne Borough at home, but we have to wait till next August before
the journey starts again.
I’m finding it hard to muster the old vocal chords at some league
games, and our trips to Hemel Hempstead and Tooting and Mitcham’s
grounds reminded me, if I needed reminding, how I want to support
Slough at the next level up. But we know we have a long way to go if
we are to realize that dream. That FA Cup money will help, and some of
our old supporters will have hopefully once again found a taste for
the club, as we push for promotion this season. I also, maybe rather
selfishly have had enough of the far flung corners of the Southern
League, and want us back where we belong – in the Ryman League.

THE BLACK SWAN

Printed in the FA Trophy Preliminary Qualifying round v Mangotsfield
United Sunday 4th October 2009. 1-1 draw in front of 241.

I’m reading a book at the moment called ‘The Black Swan’. It’s about
events or inventions that change the world that no one could have
predicted. The term Black Swan comes from the 17th century European
assumption that 'All swans are white'. So a black swan was a symbol
for something that was impossible or could not exist – until black
swans were ‘discovered’ in Western Australia! For Black Swans think of
the rise of the Internet, the personal computer, World War I and the
September 11th attacks. Infact the books author Nassim Nicholas Taleb
regards almost all major scientific discoveries, historical events,
and artistic accomplishments as "black swans". So while economists,
bankers, social scientists and newspaper columnists try to predict the
future, it is inevitably wrong, as there are so many variables and
unknown unknowns that throw our predictions off course.
I doubt Taleb would bother attaching his theory to football, but I
hope that one day a Black Swan event destroys the predictability of
the Premiership, such as a meteor hitting Stamford Bridge! But I
reckon there are many Black Swan football moments. Take Exeter City
drawing Manchester United in the FA Cup. The club had started to
rebuild after spoon bender and all round plonker Uri Geller took the
club to the brink. But they never could have forecast getting Man
United in the cup – let alone drawing there and taking them back to St
James Park for a replay. The cash completely cleared their debts and
now they are in Division One. As for Slough’s Black Swan moment. Well
what would have happened if we had beat Yeading in the FA Cup and
played Newcastle United at ‘home’?
I saw Mangotsfield watch their Black Swan footie moment slip away a
few years back. After a Friday night party in Bristol a few of us
decided to catch their FA Cup 4th qualifying match at home to Lewes.
The village of Mangotsfield felt like another suburb of sprawling
Bristol and the game ended in stalemate. I managed to get myself a
space on the Lewes supporters coach, but before it left everyone
pilled into ‘the Mango’s’ clubhouse to watch the draw for the next
round; the cheers were loud as the winners would play Stoke City.
Quite a few of us went to the replay, kick off was delayed because of
the crowds and Lewes won. They eventually lost to Stoke 2-0, but it
really put the club on the map, the cup money helped them build an
impressive stand and they picked up a terrace load of new supporters.
Maybe there are Mangotsfield fans wondering ‘with if’ it was they who
had played Stoke. Would they now be playing at the same level as
Slough or would they have reached the Conference like Lewes?
It’s harder for a Black Swan footie moments to happen in the Trophy,
but a good cup run wouldn’t go amiss. The extra cash would keep the
Slough Town finances ticking over and well, it’s only eight rounds
before we reach the semi finals! Slough Town playing at Wembley in a
Cup Final would be something no one would have predicted at the
beginning of the season, but we have done it before!

CAMPAIGN FOR REAL MUGS

Printed in the FA Cup 2nd Qualifying round match v Concord Rangers.
Saturday 26th September 2009. We won 2-0 – we haven’t lost now for
nine games – in front of 279 people.


I couldn’t make the trip to Tring for our FA Cup Preliminary round
game (no one who supports a league club believes the FA Cup has
already started). I had been to Tring’s ground a long time ago for an
FA Cup replay with Aylesbury. We won in extra time in a blizzard and
got to play Orient in the 1st Round. My mum also took a load of my
mates to Tring museum – all that sticks in my mind was the flea
display. The fact that someone had painstakingly dressed up fleas in
clothes seemed to suggest that there wasn’t an awful lot to do in
Tring.
Apart from another pleasing performance I heard high praise for their
50p cups of tea that also came in proper mugs. Watching Sussex clubs
with crowds that are often only in double figures I have also sampled
the proper mug of tea (yes, I do sometimes drink tea at games!). And I
think at our level it’s something a lot more clubs should do. Most of
the food served up at grounds is not really fit for humans, and I hate
the fact that when it has been devoured, the cups and plates are
tossed in a bin.
Before a certain creepy clown rode into town, I remember eating out at
Wimpey (and who can forget the Golden Egg!) with proper plates and
cups. OK, some poor sod had a lot of washing up to do, but at least
now we have dish washers. However, it wasn’t long before all burger
chains had throwaway plates, cups and forks etc – is this really
necessary? We produce far too much waste that ends up in landfills no
one wants or burnt in incinerators that no one wants.
So, I hereby announce the launch of the Campaign for Real Mugs.
But let’s not stop there.
While Slough fans were enjoying a proper cuppa at Tring, I was at the
Shambala festival, a brilliant event that is also trying to minimize
its impact on the environment. For example, instead of a throwaway
plastic cup with every pint, each one of these was made out of corn
and so compostable. A good idea, but still a lot of waste. Much better
was the action taken at the Inland Waterways National Festival and
Boat Show in Leicester, which did its best to stop the event being
littered with rubbish. It charged a deposit on your plastic pint glass
every time you had a beer – so encouraging everyone to get their old
beer cups refilled.
If we do get a new ground how about encouraging people to bring their
own tankards to fill up. A Slough Town tankard no doubt sold by that
ever resourceful club shop manager.
Next step: What about giant composters at the new ground for all the
food waste. This compost would feed the vegetable patch that grows
some of the salad and veg that is served up in the meals before the
games. If the food is decent and cheap, people will get to the game
early to stuff their faces – which can only be good for drink sales.
And once you’ve eaten and drunk at the clubhouse, what shall we do
with all the human waste.
Well, what about the clubs very own compost toilet?!!

WOULD YOU LIKE LIES WITH THAT, SIR?

I wrote this article for the Biggleswade Town programme, but the club
decided they couldn’t print it. Chair Steve Easterbrook told me “For
various reasons the club have taken the view that it may not be in the
clubs interest to print the article due to its sensitive nature.
Whilst not agreeing or disagreeing with how McDonalds operate the club
does acknowledge that they are a major sponsor of The FA, sporting
events and of local community football. Our chances of obtaining FA
Charter Standard Club Status would be severely compromised by us
providing a platform for an article about one of footballs biggest
sponsors. That’s not to say that as a club we necessarily have to
agree/support any of the sponsors of the league. I am all for free
speech but perhaps in this case, as a club, it would be sensible and
wiser not to print the article in the programme. We are fighting
enough battles at the moment!”
I told Steve I don’t agree with the decision, but respect his views,
and certainly don’t want to jeopardize the club getting charter club
status and all the grants that come with it.
However, McDonalds don’t sponsor my blog, so here’s the article.



Ever since I was arrested for handing out ‘What’s Wrong with
McDonalds’ leaflets outside their Slough store I have had a soft spot
for Ronald. The copper was in a bad mood and nicked me for
‘obstruction of the highway’ despite the fact that I was standing next
to a tree. He slammed me up against the police car and told me to go
and live in Russia! His mood darkened further back at the station,
when I explained that the whole thing had been filmed by a hidden TV
company who were making a documentary. So I was over the moon, to see
that McDonalds are going to be one of the main sponsors of the 2012
London Olympic Games. Even worse, they are trying to make sure that
their golden arches are the exclusive "meal brand" at the games, with
other food chains, being told they will not be able to sell their
wares on a number of Olympic sites without removing labels or changing
packaging. At other sporting venues, including the ExCel Centre where
boxing, weightlifting and table tennis will take place, restaurant and
cafe owners have been told that they will have to leave the venues for
the duration of the Games to make way for official sponsors.
Now why do McDonalds want to sponsor the Olympics? Would any self
respecting Olympian feast on a Big Mac? Anyone who has seen that film
‘Super Size Me’ where Morgan Spurlock eats exclusively at McDonalds
for a month would probably think not. In that month Spurlock put on 1¾
stone - a 13% body mass increase, his cholesterol level went through
the roof and he experienced mood swings and liver damage. In fact it
took Spurlock fourteen months to lose the weight gained from his
experiment. Of course McDonalds argue that no one should exclusively
dine on their food and it should just be part a healthier, balanced
diet. But come on, who has a healthier balanced diet and goes there to
eat?
McDonalds know they serve up garbage. Worried by the law suits faced
by the tobacco industry they helped lobby for legislation in various
American states, to protect themselves from being sued by people that
get fat from eating their food. They aren’t too keen on criticism
either and were particularly busy in the 1980’s threatening to sue
anyone and any publication that dared too. That was till they came up
against a couple of anarchists who decided they wouldn’t be cowered.
So began McLibel, the longest libel trial in English history. Two
individuals with a combined annual income of £10,000, representing
themselves against one of the biggest corporations in the world
(annual income £30 billion). It was a bit like Slough taking on
Manchester United, with all our players having to hop on one leg
throughout the game. At the end of the trial dubbed “the most
disastrous PR exercise ever mounted by a multinational company” the
Judge ruled that as was stated in the ‘What’s Wrong with McDonald's
leaflet’, the company do exploit children and their workforce, their
food isn’t healthy and they are involved in animal cruelty.
All parents know about pester power – and corporations like McDonalds
work very hard on this. One of their top marketing managers admitted
“Children are virgin ground as far as marketing is concerned.” The
company spend over $1.8 billion every year worldwide on advertising
and promotions, most of it specifically aimed at 2 to 8 year olds with
a bribe of toys thrown in for good measure. Their confidential
'Operations Manual' was read out in court "Children are often the key
decision makers concerning where a family goes to eat…(offering toys)
is one of the best things…to make them loyal supporters…Ronald loves
McDonald's and McDonald's food. And so do children, because they love
Ronald. Remember, children exert a phenomenal influence when it comes
to restaurant selection. This means you should do everything you can
to appeal to children's love for Ronald and McDonald's." A former
Ronald Clown went public with his regrets “I brainwashed kids into
doing wrong. I want to say sorry to children everywhere.”
Still, forget the garbage created by the mountains of unnecessary
packaging, most of which ends up littering our streets or polluting
the land buried in landfill sites. Forget the crap pay of its
Mcworkers, the forests throughout the world which are felled for
cattle ranching. Forget, that all those Big Mac producing cows farts
contribute towards global warming. Forget the modern intensive
agriculture based on the heavy use of chemicals which are damaging to
the environment. Forget that their burgers taste like cats sick,
heavily disguised by two tonnes of mayonnaise and ketch-up. Forget all
that and ask yourself should McDonalds really be the official sponsors
of the Olympics. The official sponsors of the Football Associations
Football Charter Standard Scheme (you can see their Mclogo on top of
the Slough Town home page).
I’ve longed complained that the majority of food served up at football
matches I wouldn’t serve to a pig, and that eating it, often ends up
with the spectators starting to resemble said pigs. Of course, it’s up
to people what they want to eat. But most people would agree that
advertising aimed at encouraging children to smoke and drink shouldn’t
be allowed, so why is it ok to target children with food that is so
bad for you? The government talks of tackling obesity and getting
people to do more exercise and taking part in sport, but can someone
tell me how that squares with allowing food corporations getting into
bed with our biggest sporting events? With multi-national corporations
richer and more powerful than many small countries, we have become too
scared to take them on. It’s time we told Ronald and his mates to
stick their Big Macs where the sun don’t shine.

http://www.mcspotlight.org/

ONE GIANT STEP FOR SLOUGH TOWN

Printed in the Southern League Midlands Division match v Barton Rovers
on Saturday 22nd August 2009. We won 5-1 in front of 226.


One councilor stood up and pronounced ‘Now I don’t like football’. Oh
here we go again, thought the supporters in the gallery, but she
continued ‘but I think this is a fabulous idea.’ Infact councilors
from every party were in agreement and wondered why this hadn’t
happened a long time ago.
So six years after being booted out of Wexham Park, years of
campaigning and dashed hopes, and plenty of work behind the scenes,
Slough Town football club were given outline planning permission to
start to re-develop the old Arbour Vale School site on the Stoke Road.
Slough Town could once again be playing in Slough.
It’s certainly been a different closed season to be the one we have
got used to where chaos and panic seem to engulf the football club. I
don’t want to pick out one person for this transformation as it’s a
team effort. We know the supporters and officials who behind the
scenes and on the match days put in the work that make this club tick.
The Supporters Trust, the people working on the website and those
working on sponsorship and the youth team - even the programme editor
does a pretty good job for such a miserable git!
But there’s no doubt that having Steve Easterbrook as our chairman has
transformed this club from basket case to one where Slough Borough
Council have taken the club seriously again. Now, in an ideal world I
would like all clubs to be supporter run. They are community assets
not play-things for some crazy egotist. You only have to look at
Grays, Cambridge and Forest Green whose Chairman’s antics have led to
teams being managerless before the season even started to see how too
much power to one man can ruin a football club.
But Steve is about as unassuming a chairman as you can get, but
everyone I have spoken to who has seen him in action at meetings says
how professional he is.
As for the new community football stadium, there will also be 81
residential dwellings (the majority of which will be affordable) and a
‘state of the art’ artificial pitch. All the external football pitches
will be made available for use by the nearby St Josephs School.
Steve said “As well as providing a new home for the club the facility
will deliver community activities which will enhance public health,
promote community engagement and provide great opportunities for young
people.”
Of course there’s still a long way to go. It is a decision in
principle only, and now more detailed proposals need to be hammered
out. Contracts will need to be signed, planning permission obtained
etc, and decision about the West Wing arts centre sorted out. BUT at
least we now have everyone onboard, have agreed it is feasible and
desirable and have decided it should progress.
If everything runs to plan, then Slough Town could be running out on a
pitch in Slough sometime early in 2012. And that will be one serious
giant footballing step forward for the club.

Wherever Next

Printed in the first home league match of the season 18th August 2009
Southern League Midlands Division v Burnham. We lost 2-0 in front of
337 people.


I must admit I had a nose bleed when I saw we had been put in the
Southern Leagues Midlands Division. No really; I had just come out of
hospital after an operation on my nose and it hadn’t stopped bleeding.
Still, fifteen new grounds for me, and camped out at Liverpool Street
station, staring at the boards waiting for the next starship to
Romulus. Look, I really don’t mind the travelling as long as we have
a successful season, even winning the odd bloody game would be nice,
but it’s getting me dizzy how many leagues we have been in over the
past decade since being booted out of the Conference. Ryman Premier,
Ryman North, Ryman South, Southern South and West and now the
Midlands. By the end of this season we will have played 119 different
league clubs in 10 years – a record? Who needs to become one of those
sad ground-hopper types - just support Slough Town.
The FA has promised to sort it out this season, and they really have
too. Clubs at our level shouldn’t really be travelling such long
distances.
Carlisle’s managing director is even arguing that the Football Leagues
bottom two divisions should be regionalized; 51 years after Division
Three North and South were scrapped. Talk like this isn’t really
surprising coming from a club that are seriously stuck out on such a
geographically limb – they are nine miles from the Scottish border and
will travel nearly 12,000 league miles over the season. The argument
is of course a financial one but also to encourage more local derbies
and more away fans – clubs rarely bring more than 300 to Brunton
Park.
Still, if you don’t agree with that, can you argue that we really need
a national non league division? Does it make sense for the part timers
of Eastbourne to be playing the part timers of Barrow? Shouldn’t there
at least be a Conference Midlands division? This would have sorted out
the mess of Worcester City playing in the Blue Square South while
Gloucester City are playing in the Blue Square North, passing each
other on the M6 every other week!
Meanwhile AFC Sudbury will be one of our league opponents this season
having lost their appeal to be put back in the Ryman league. The club
were not impressed when last season they were shoved into the Southern
Midlands, complaining of the vast increase in the travelling and the
knock on effect this had on the recruitment of players. In the summing
up to their appeal, it was stated the decision was taken in the light
of both the Ryman and Southern Leagues agreement to a re-organisation
of the respective league boundaries at the end of next season.
Time to put your bets on just where the hell we will be playing next
season!

DUTCH DELIGHT

Printed in the last league game of the season (thank god!) v
Bridgwater Town Saturday 25th April 2009. We won 2-1 in front of 233
people.


I must admit I know nothing about lower league Dutch football. Infact
I'd be a bit sad if I did. But with the possibility of a new ground in
Slough, General Manager Roy Merryweather organized for a small Slough
Town delegation s to see Rijnsburgse Boys and Quick Boys FC as having
visited the grounds before, he saw it as an ideal model to replicate.
I spoke to Roy and programme editor Glen Riley about the visit.

What is clubs league equivalent in this country?
Glen: They're semi-pro too but with their set-up/crowds it would be
similar to Conference/League 2. Not seen them play so I can't comment
on the standard of football.

Describe their set up?
Glen: Both stadiums had similar set ups with the main stadium
surrounded by many outside pitches that are used for their youth
sides. Both grounds had just a big main stand with all the usual
facilities with the rest of the ground open and flat standing.

Lower league Dutch clubs enjoy healthy crowds and are the centre of
the community. How have their achieved that?
Glen: Having 15-20 different youth and affiliated sides under their
umbrella obviously helps massively with keeping the club at the centre
of their communities. For local derbies, which there are a few, they
can get crowds of 5,000 but normally average between 1,500-2,000
people.

What parts of their set up would you like to see replicated if/when we
get Arbour Vale?

Glen: Definitely the youth set up they have, maybe not on that scale
as there just wouldn't be room.
Roy: The football club in any village is the centre of the community
boys and girls from a very early age go along to their village ground
to enjoy the sport and they are proud to play for that club right from
an early age. All Dutch clubs have around 30 youth and 20 adults teams
through to veteran XI's representing that team. All standards are
catered for - your ability is not the main issue, it’s the desire to
play for your club that is the most important. Individual pub and
youth teams do not exist very much, to my knowledge in Holland
therefore the rivalry we experience between Slough, Windsor, Burnham,
Marlow happens at all levels.

How is this funded? Who paid for the stadiums? The day to day running
costs?

Roy: The whole concept is centred around the subscriptions of club
members, supported by a massive contributions of local sponsorship
plus the whole package backed by a heavy concentration of volunteer
help. Sounds simple but I'm sure it could be done.
Membership to the club, would not be cheap, but the perks involved for
both social and playing members would be enormous, season tickets,
shopping discounts, 500 club membership all would be part of the
package, in additions to providing a good standard of football, plus
training facilities and kit of the very best quality. If we work
together on raising standards of all teams, this can only be progress,
To watch Slough play Windsor, Marlow or Maidenhead at any level would
be the perfect scenario , from under 10 to Veterans it could happen,
that's not forgetting the Ladies section also.

As for company sponsorship, this is completely untapped territory, In
Holland business contacts are made through the football clubs.
Saturday is not a day of rest, it’s the opportunity to promote your
company in a real upbeat fashion, use the match and club house to
forming new friends and outlets. On one of my recent visits I spoke
with a local architect who said, since supporting Rijinsburgse boys
five years ago his company had advanced out off all recognition.
Contacts gained were enormous and the order book was full. We all have
a part to play, at a new ground with really smart reception rooms we
could really advance this theory. Part of the upfront payment of
funds would be given back in food and drink, by which we all benefit.
In Holland they work their bars similar to a number of Golf clubs here
in the U.K., with no money actually changing hands, just a card system
in place.

As for the final Dutch way of life is to recruit more of the likes of
Chris Sliski’s and Alan Harding’s of Slough. Whilst in Holland both
clubs had up to 50 people of similar status willing to give their time
free to their club to help out on match days and throughout the rest
of the week. Even the cleaners were retired supporters bored of
staying at home, who gave up the time just for a bite to eat at
lunchtimes for a few hours of work each day. We found a real sense of
pride to tell us what they all did each week for their team. I really
do believe we could follow these examples if we had the right facility
to entertain them all.”

AT LEAST WE'VE GOT ONE

Printed in the Southern League South and West division v Taunton Town.
Slough played in pink in aid of Breast Cancer Research and drew 2-2 in
front of 248.

At the last count I was up to about 150 – although no doubt some are
now buried under the jackboots of Tesco superstores. I’ve added
another 6 this season alone and with thirty years of football support
behind me, they start racking up.
I’m talking about football grounds, and being a Slough Town supporter
the majority of these have been non league.
God knows how many teams Slough have played over the past few years
with relegation after relegation, re-organisation after re-
organisation. Infact one of the more enjoyable aspects of supporting a
lower league football club is the amount of different places and
grounds you get to visit. Just don’t put me down as a ground-hopper.
You won’t see me in a large mac, hanging around the secretary’s office
hoping to get a team-sheet, complaining if there isn’t a programme or
bog roll in the toilets. But I do like to visit new places – even if
they happen to be Billericay, Barnet and Basingstoke.
I also like arriving at grounds at least a few hours beforehand. With
our weekend plans to the New Forest postponed, I decided to get the
train to Totton hours before kick-off. Problem was there wasn’t even a
greasy café to stuff my face in the small town centre (but I did get a
nice jar of home-made marmalade, which gives you an indication of the
place). Still the club were kind enough to open the bar for me.
Thatcham had a lovely old pub by the station, but was yet another tin-
pot ground where we failed to win. Cirencester was even less
impressive apart from the clubhouse. A barren wind-swept place on the
outskirts of town where I spent more time in the club-house trying to
warm up rather than watching another abject performance.
I didn’t really see much of Cornwall as we broke the speed barrier to
get to the game on time, and it looks like we won’t be going to Truro
any time soon. I quite liked Taunton, and Gosport has a certain charm
about it although it really could do with some more cover. I wouldn’t
want to be at Bishops Cleeve on a wet and windy afternoon either. And
it’s probably best to keep stum about Windsor, Abingdon and
Bracknell.
My favourite this season is Paulton, no doubt helped by the best away
performance of the season. The place felt at the heart of the
community, the higgildy piggildy ground had great views and the
covered terracing behind one of the goals that looked down on the
pitch is something I’d like to see replicated at Arbour Vale.
In our Conference days, speeding up the motorways towards Manchester
and other far flung outposts was a regular occurrence. So was getting
lost. I have continued that tradition by finding myself stumbling
around in woodland while looking for AFC Hayes and being totally
bemused in the pouring rain with a sodden map trying to find Walton
and Hersham (with the game called off just 15 minutes after I got
there).
I enjoyed that last game of the season against Worthing where we all
met up on the sea-front in thick sea mist. Me and my girlfriend having
an away break in the picturesque town of Maldon. That great weekend in
the Isle of Wight.
But of course, the ground I would most like to visit is the one at
Arbour Vale, with thousands of us packed in for the first game of the
season. Now that would really give us all something to cheer about and
give us the right to criticize other grounds without being told ‘at
least we’ve got one.’

GREAT EXPECTATIONS

Printed in the Southern League South and West Division match v Paulton
Rovers Saturday 28th March 2009. We won 1-0 in front of 209.


I was expecting so much more this season. Being stupidly optimistic,
as most football fans are, I was rather foolishly hoping for at least
a sniff at the play-offs and a little run in the cups (even the Berks
and Bucks would have done). Instead we have been looking over our
shoulders at the bottom clubs and have had do with a few sporadic
highlights like beating Windsor. But it was the defeat at Uxbridge
that really did it for me and to be honest if there hadn’t been a
change of management I wouldn’t have bothered with much of the rest of
the season. Fair-weather fan? Whatever. But a five hour round trip
(and more if we are away) each week becomes pretty tiresome, and
watching Slough started to feel like a chore rather than something to
look forward too at the weekend.
Everyone’s agreed Derek Sweetman is undoubtedly a nice bloke. He
steadied the ship, but in the end it just wasn’t happening. I’m
pleased despite some really poor performances the majority of the
Slough supporters didn’t take out their frustrations on the manager or
the players. Especially after listening to some of the plonkers on the
football radio phone-in’s. So i’ve come up with a new reality TV
programme (because we need a few more, don’t we).
Forget Wife Swap, what about ‘Football Fan Swap’?
Any Arsenal fan found booing their team has to spend two months
watching Wingate and Finchley.
A season ticket watching Cowdenbeath to the knuckle-head Celtic
‘supporter’ who called for Gordon Strachan to be sacked for losing to
St.Mirren in the Scottish Cup.
Any Man United fans that ring up from Devon complaining that ‘it’s
just not good enough’, are banished to Barnstaple Town for six months
and made to clean the toilets after the game, preferably with their
United scarf.
As for Slough. Well as a gardener and it being the busiest time of
year for me, I have only seen a Steve Bateman team take apart Bishops
Cleeve in a very enjoyable day out in Gloucestershire.
But again, as we drove through Cheltenham, I felt depressed. Twenty
years ago I was watching Slough play Cheltenham. Now we are going to a
tiny little village outside Cheltenham. Now I mean no disrespect to
clubs like Cleeve – Slough deserve to be playing at this level, and
are of course, lucky not to be playing at the level below. Cheltenham
based Rebel supporter Grandad told me that Bishop Cleeve have had
their fair share of upheaval, losing their old ground when the Church
sold it off for housing and having to ground-share until they moved
into their new stadium. They had a nice clubhouse, but the ground was
a bit thread-bare, although tidy with sweeping views but unfortunately
there were more sheep watching the game than home fans.
I take my hat off to clubs like Cleeve. But – again no disrespect, I
have had enough of playing these clubs every week. I don’t want to
outnumber home supporters. I want some banter. Some atmosphere. And I
don’t want to lose nearly every week for THREE BLOODY SEASONS!!!
Just as successful managers like Arsene Wenger knows its at least top
four in the Premiership to stop the booing, Steve Bateman will know
the pressures of the new job. I expect nothing less than a battle for
a play off place next season!
I’ve got enough nice views from my front room window thank you very
much, without having to travel westwards every other week to look at
sheep.

INTERVIEW WITH SLOUGH TOWN SECRETARY

Printed in the Southern South and West Division league match v
Bracknell Town. 0-0 in front of 218 spectators.


There’s been plenty of talk recently about a lack of younger people
coming along and giving their time for free to lower league football
teams. But one of the clubs to buck that trend is Slough Town. I
caught up with Gary Thomas, to ask him how he became a club secretary
in his twenties

How long have you been supporting Slough?
My first game was an FA Cup game, as I'm sure it is with many non
league supporters. Saturday 13th November 1993 against Torquay United.
Didn't manage to get to many games in the "good years" due to working
on Saturdays, but became a full home and away regular in 1999.


Were you involved in helping the club before you became secretary?
Yes, I was helping out on the website so occasionally would talk to
the manager, club personnel and players to get information. Perhaps
most famously, former manager Mr. Browne gave me a proper dressing
down for something I had nothing to do with! In addition, my wife Emma
agreed to run the club shop in the final years of Wexham Park and
again whilst we were at Windsor, so I had time helping out with that
also. In the years at Windsor, I did a lot of filming of matches which
was used to make two seasons review DVD's, something which we still do
occasionally now. I began to help Roy Merryweather out in the final
season at Windsor with some of the administrative work and took on the
role as football secretary for the start of our time at Beaconsfield
in 2007.


Why did you decide to become secretary?
Roy Merryweather had taken on the role originally and worked with kit
man Paul Lillywhite on a matchday to arrange everything for the
referee. I was happy to help out and wanted to get involved, so it was
a natural progression. It's been a great experience meeting other
admin staff at other clubs and talking to those in the Southern
League, the majority of whom have been exceptionally helpful as I
learn the ways of football rules and regulations. I enjoy all aspects
of football and felt I could add something to the club and wanted to
help the club get back on the right track and moving forwards again,
something which we are now able to do thanks to the dedication and
hard work of Roy and the chairman, Steve Easterbook in addition to the
other members of the clubs board.

It's also been great on the playing side to work with Darron
Wilkinson, Mark Betts and Derek Sweetman as you can see the amount of
extra hours they put into the football above and beyond matchdays and
training sessions. Whilst performances may not always have been to all
our liking, all three were more than happy to talk to anyone about the
game in the bar and after training. Most importantly, they are all
good people which makes the working relationship all that bit easier
and the role all the more enjoyable.

With the birth of my son Steven, it has become a little more difficult
as responsibilities change, but thanks to a very supportive wife I
have been able to continue to dedicate the required time to the role
that it requires and still enjoy every minute of it. I think it's
great to see Steven coming along to games and in some cases getting
into boardrooms at away clubs to enjoy hospitality!

My only regret in taking on the role is that I can no longer get in
behind the goal and get in with creating or joining in the atmosphere.
With an official role at the club, there are often things going on
which mean you cannot watch the game in its entirety, although this is
offset by having the pass for away games.


So what’s a typical match-day for you?
An average home match for me will see me notify the officials and
opponents at least seven days prior to the match, take delivery of the
programmes on a Friday afternoon and confirm with the officials that
they are all ok for the journey. On the Saturday, I aim to get to the
ground for between 1 and 1.30. Programmes are put out for the
officials, opponents, our players and into the boardroom. Then I can
afford myself a twenty minute break and usually some lunch from the
tea bar. Line ups have to be done and in to the officials by 2.15 so I
am often looking for Sweets at around 2pm to get the line up written
up. Once these are done and the papers exchanged with the officials,
the line ups need to be printed with the leagues logo and added into
the boardroom. We also print out a few extras for any press and one is
always pinned up for the supporters.

During half time we'll make sure the match officials expenses are done
and marked up and then after the game the result has to be rung
through to the press association and also to the league.

For away games, I will confirm our attendance at the game and also
send over details of pen pics, club history and expected line up to be
included in the home teams programme for the day. I will look to
arrive between 1.30 and 2pm to an away game as the line up will need
to be done and in to the referee by 2.15, but one this is done, I can
relax a bit and soak up a pre-match drink either in the bar or in the
boardroom and then enjoy the football on display.


So are you the youngest secretary in our league?
I’m certainly the youngest secretary and committee person I know of in
my season and a half of doing the job. The only one which comes close
is the secretary at Didcot who is in his thirties. Most of the
committees tend to be forties and above. We do of course have another
exception in Glen Riley (programme editor). I think between us, our
combined age totals less than some of the people I see in boardrooms
around the league!

I’m not quite sure why the trend is that way. There is obviously a lot
of time and dedication required to do any official role with a club at
this level and it is voluntary work as well, so there isn't the
financial benefit to spending the extra hours watching your club play
football. I say watching, but a lot of time for me is spent either
providing updates at away games for the website or chasing round after
my boy at the home games these days!

I think the workload involved can put people off, but we have been
blessed at Slough with a number of volunteers over the years and
people who continue to put in many hours of their own time into
helping out the club. We've also seen some of the "younger" supporters
begin to help out with the Supporters Trust raffle on a matchday and
have had previous instances of younger people running things such as
the Junior Rebels on behalf of the Trust and of course in our own
boardroom.

I think it comes down to the people available to you. The average
supporter will just want to come along and watch the side play
football which is fair enough. Once you become a regular though, if
you feel you can do more to help out and offer to do so, there will
always be something to help out with. Essentially, that's how I got
into the position I am in today and I don't regret a minute of it!

DAY TRIP TO CORNWALL

Printed in the Southern League South and West match v Andover. We won
4-3 in front of 230.


It wasn’t my most rational of decisions. Slough were playing Truro
City and when my plans for a weekend away with Windsor Rebel, Best Man
and Big Lens fell threw, it was always going to be a mission to get to
the game. But get to the game I must – this could be the only time I
would see Slough play a league match in Cornwall!
I woke at 4.30am and walked to Brighton train station. Clubbers sat
shivering and disheveled waiting for the first train home. The train
to Victoria was fine, but my tube broke down so at 6am I was hailing a
taxi to Paddington, then jumping on a fast train to Slough to meet the
supporters coach. The Supporters Trust did a great deal for members
where it was just 20 quid return. Phil the Flag supplied the
refreshments, Pepe the chocolate and by early morning I felt like I
had eaten half the daily output of the Mars factory.
And then the coach broke down at Bristol.
For two hours.
It limped to the services and Anil the coach-driver, became Anil the
mechanic. He managed to fix it and then drove at speed and we arrived
at Truro with 3 minutes to spare, joining about 50 plus Slough
supporters.
Unfortunately rather than a friendly Cornish welcome we had four
middle-aged skinheads who threatened and abused us and enjoyed light-
hearted racist banter with themselves. It was like one of the episodes
of ‘Life on Mars’, the four trapped in some 1970’s football time warp,
unable to comprehend that life had moved on, football had moved on.
The majority of the Truro fans were friendly enough – infact these
bunch of retards were from London. ‘No One Likes Us’ they sang. Hello!
We are playing eight leagues below the Premiership – no one’s heard of
you.
I had seen Truro play before, on their way to winning the FA Vase in
front of a record 36,232 fans. On the way to Wembley they played
Whitehawk, an estate in Brighton. They came en masse and some of them
foolishly decided to sing ‘Does your boyfriend know your here’; a song
Brighton fans have to put up with everywhere. But with no police, no
stewards, no segregation, the song was ended some-what abruptly by the
locals with the Whitehawk manager having to leave the dug-out and
appeal for calm.
As for the game, Slough had the better of the first half and
incredibly took the lead and could have had more, but Truro always
looked dangerous. This is not surprising really since most of their
squad seems to be made up of ex league and Conference players. So what
about player budget cuts of 50%? One fan told me that their third
choice goalie was on a grand a month! Truro’s chairman has – or at
least did have - money to burn with plans for a new stadium and his
eyes on the Football League.
The second half was Truro’s. The cold Russian wind that would bring
the snow the next day, was doing us no favours. Phil’s flag nearly
blew away from the empty seats and Truro took control. We lost 2-1 but
played well – why can’t we do this against the teams below us?
As for the journey home. I finally got to bed at 2.30am after an epic
twenty two hour round trip. My girlfriend was still nodding her head
in disbelief the next day that I had gone all that way for 90 minutes
of football. Perhaps she had a point.

TOP OF THE BLOG

Printed in the Southern League South and West match v Cinderford Town
Tuesday 3rd March 2009. We lost 2-3 in front of 176 people. We now have
a new manager, in former player Steve Bateman.


Brace yourself - you are reading an article from one of ‘the most
influential blogs in the UK blogosphere.’ Yes that’s right, my Slough
Town Soapbox currently features at no.61 in the Wikio Sports hit
parade. Up six places and the highest ranking non league footie blog
in the monthly charts, just behind Real Madrid.
Let me explain. All the articles I write for the match day programme
get stuck on my blog for all the world to see. A blog is basically a
website written by anybody with something to say, reviews, rantings
and ravings, anything basically. And there are a hell of a lot of
blogs in the world - a year ago there was 112 million (I don’t know
who had the job of counting them). For the most part they are pretty
dull, and you do wonder who reads the stuff. Where once a private
diary, rant in the pub or tatty old fanzine would have sufficed now
it’s posted onto the internet for everyone to see. Now I’m all for
everyone putting forward their views, but to be brutally honest most
of what is posted is crap.
So how did articles about Slough Town get to rub shoulders with
Arsenal, Liverpool, and Letchworth Girls Rugby? To be honest I’m not
quite sure but they explain “The position of a blog in the Wikio
ranking depends on the number and weight of the incoming links from
other blogs. These links are dynamic, which means that they are
backlinks or links found within articles. With our algorithm, the
weight of a link from a top blog is greater than that of a link from a
blog that is less well ranked.” Which sounds like a load of bloggocks
to me!
Not surprisingly, in the sports blog top 100 football dominates, but
there’s also rugby, cricket, motor racing, and motorbiking. However it
is dominated by Arsenal blogs – twenty of the bloody things. Don’t
they get enough coverage in the national press? Is this just
confirmation that Arsenal have the geekiest supporters? It’s also
quite disconcerting that Letchworth Girls Rugby and Swaffham Girls
Rugby are higher up than me! There’s also 7 Formula 1 motor racing
blogs, writing about a sport that makes televised darts seem exciting.
I couldn’t quite bring myself to read them but at least I now know
where to go if I have any bouts of insomnia. There’s a blog called
Beautiful Aim – about ‘a 23 year old fanatic with average footballing
skill, who hopes with the guidance of a team of experts, to make
Premiership football in just one year.’ Don’t know about Beautiful
Aim, more totally deluded.
Oxford United are the only other non-league club in the top 100, and
well they aren’t proper non league really are they? The most
interesting are ‘The Referee - The Ups & Downs of an English Football
Referee’ just for an insight into referees minds. ‘Ground-Hog’ with
reviews of one mans visits to various footie grounds and ‘200 hundred
per cent’. This is easily the best with excellent, well written, in
depth footie articles with a non league slant. Some of the blogs
mentioned I reckon shouldn’t be allowed in the chart, with the BBC and
Times included, with both organisations having substantially more
resources than little ole me .
So there you go, this article was bought to you by your very own blow-
its-own-trumpet top non league football blog in the country. Now I’m
just waiting for the New Years honors list invite to drop through my
letterbox. Sir Brighton Rebel has a ring to it don’t you think?

SIGN OF THE TIMES?

This article should have appeared in the Southern League South and
West game v Gosport Borough 7th Feb 2008 but thanks to the
snow, frost and rain, the game was called off.



With the country deep in recession, Beaconsfield have joined the
chorus of clubs to admit they have financial problems. Their chairman
Bob Breen said that they will not survive as a Southern League club
unless they receive immediate help from volunteers and the people of
Beaconsfield. So shall we blame the credit crunch or is this an on
going problem? In a way Beaconsfield are a victim of their own
success. Despite winning the treble last season and now in the play-
offs they are averaging just 116 people for home games. They’ve got a
tidy little ground but it is out on a limb in no-man’s land that lacks
identity and Beaconsfield, one of the most expensive places to buy a
house in the country, is hardly a footballing hot bed. Infact if it
weren’t for the ground-sharing agreement with Slough, Breen admits the
club would be in even more serious financial trouble.
Of course, there are clubs like Beaconsfield up and down the pyramid.
Sponsorship is drying up, but stupid ground grading rules and
excessive travelling aren’t helping matters. Recently Barnstaple
Town’s manager resigned, making the point that in some league games
his players were travelling all day for £30. A director at the club is
now urging them to leave the Western League because of the current
economic situation and the amount of travelling involved and go back
to having a local manager with local players. Despite both Slough and
Beaconsfield playing at level five, we are often travelling westwards.
Of course its worse for league rivals Truro, whose geography means
9,422 miles on the road throughout the season. But rumours of their
imminent demise are never far from the football forums, not helped by
being backed by a property owning sugar daddy who has propelled them
into the highest ranking Cornish club in the country.
The recession means that there is going to be far less football sugar
daddies about – no bad thing in my book, as relying on one person’s
cash is a disaster waiting to happen when the man with the wallet goes
walkabout. But the most interesting thing of the Bob Breen article was
his bemoaning the lack of volunteers.
For football clubs to get more people in through the gates and helping
out on match-days the mind-set has to change, as often they are there
own worst enemies. So aside from breeding, you have to be inventive!
The least clubs can do is make it kids for a quid and free tickets to
local schools and youth football teams. One supporter at Cwmbran Town
told of some of this inventiveness “The turnstile operator and
Chairman let a bunch of lads in for a quid apiece. They were just
hanging around the sports centre and cheekily asked for a discount.
They came in, stayed for the whole game and turned up for the next
home game with a couple more mates. Since then, they have been to
every game, bought replica shirts, flags, hats, scarves etc and also
brought a few more mates along with them. Whether they continue coming
long term, when they are old enough to spend Saturday afternoon in the
pub watching the results come through on Sky, I don't know, but for
now they sing and shout all through the game and frankly have been a
breath of fresh air.” A former secretary at Crockenhill FC remembered
that time when “One of the local youngsters who I could have chased
off the pitch one Saturday for breaking in and kicking around actually
stayed for the game and eventually played for the club.” These are the
sorts of volunteers and attitudes football clubs need to survive!

TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE

Printed in the Southern League South and West game v Windsor and EtoN 24th January 2009. Windsor’s 18 match unbeaten run came to and end with Slough winning
3-2 in front of 385 people.


If something seems too good to be true then it probably is. This is
what the investors with Bernard Madoff are finding out, after he recently
confessed to the worlds largest ever fraud. US Investment manager Madoff
was the ultimate Wall Street insider, the financial wizard to the A-list who
everyone wanted to know. But Madoff established what is called a
“Ponzi scheme” and swindled up to $50 billion from investors from big
banks to charities. But how could he have fooled so many people for so
long? Ponzi schemes are relatively unsophisticated frauds in which the
organisers repay old investors not with genuine gains but with money
from new investors. Madoff gave much better returns than anyone else,
but while the money rolled in few questioned how it was possible.
Too good to be true also sums up the Premiership. Football fans have
been too easily dazzled by money; turning a blind eye to anyone who
flashes the cash, no matter where that money comes from or the dubious
motives of the investors.
West Ham are the Premiership club in the most precarious position.
Owner Bjorgolfur Gudmundsson has put West Ham on the market in order to pay
back debts exceeding £50 million after the collapse of an Icelandic
bank in which he had a 41% stake. Gudmundsson, who bought the club for
£85 million in 2006, is struggling to finalise a deal having initially
expected to raise £250 million, a figure that, surprise surprise, is
proving unrealistic in the current financial climate. If he doesn’t
sell by early March, his company will be declared bankrupt and
stripped of its assets, which includes West Ham. Should that happen
the Hammers could be placed into administration with an immediate
point’s deduction. Sources close to Gudmundsson admitted "It is very
difficult to sell any football club right now, it is hard to maximise
value."
At Blackburn, relegation could finish the club – with wages accounting
for a staggering 85 per cent of turnover. Portsmouth and Liverpool’s
plans for new stadiums look to be going nowhere. Even money-bags
Abramovich has been hit by the collapse of the Russian stockmarket.
Infact Chelsea and Man Utd have a combined debt of £750 million! The
Mr.Big of football take-overs Keith Harris, said "We're in the
toughest economic situation anybody has endured in our lifetime, and
that means we are unlikely to see much activity on the football
takeover scene." An American investor ready to buy the ever troubled
Newcastle United had to pull out after they lost hundreds of millions
of dollars thanks to the Bernard Madoff fraud.
Of course it’s not just Premiership clubs that are feeling the pinch –
football clubs up and down the country have over-stretched themselves
and are in financial melt-down as sponsorship dry’s up.
In the week when Man City made a ridiculous £100 million bid for AC
Milan’s Kaka, Berkhamstead Town went to the wall after their
electricity was cut off because of an unpaid bill. With it go another
community asset and ninety years of history. Meanwhile Lewes,
Northwich, Grays, Weymouth, Workington, Salisbury, Folkestone,
Eastleigh, Stafford, Worcester, Leigh Genesis and Fisher are just some
of the non league clubs in financial trouble.
Football clubs are not just companies or rich men’s playthings, but
run properly can become part of the social glue that binds communities
together. It’s time more football fans took control of their clubs and
became a lot more questioning about the way football is run before the
game is ruined forever.

• Excellent website on football economics http://www.footballeconomy.com/

PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY

Printed in the Southern League South and West League match v North
Leigh Tuesday 20th January 2009. 1-1 draw in front of 205 people.



How old should your child be before you drag them along to a football
match? This was the question posed on the excellent Tony Kempster
website by one parent. Well as a dad I feel is part of my parental
responsibility to take my son and get him hooked on footie as young as
possible. Taking children to football is good for their social skills,
gets them used to crowds (well, sometimes there’s a crowd) and more
importantly, very good for their language skills!
Ruben was just 10 days old before his uncle Mad Beard Mark paid for
him to be match sponsor. Ruben slept through the game although he did
have the dubious honour of being breastfed in the Windsor and Eton
boardroom with pictures of royalty bearing down on him. Since then,
he’s come along to quite a few home games, a non league international
at Eastbourne and been on trips to Henley, Hendon, Andover, Uxbridge
and the Isle of Wight. Club-shop Sue brought him a little top which he
wore when he run out as a mascot with his cousin Liam last season. The
only problem being that he now thinks its ok to run on the pitch
anytime.
His last match was New Years Day when over 2,000 squashed into the
Dripping Pan to watch Lewes v Eastbourne, easily the biggest crowd of
his life. Only once did he complain about ‘too many people’ singing
‘Rebels, Rebels’ and getting very excited about the Eastbourne fans
rendition of Santa Claus. I did try to tell him that the Rebels was
also the nickname for Lewes arch rivals Worthing, and that Slough
weren’t playing, but it was only the lack of chips that really got him
upset. Infact ‘Rebels, Rebels’ is definitely one of his favourite
songs – and he gave a good rendition of it at a recent demo against
the Israeli bombing of Gaza!
I want to be a fly on the wall when Ruben explains to bewildered class-
mates that he supports Slough Town – a town, let alone a football
team, they doubtless will have never heard of. Mind you, at nursery
they think he is singing ‘Seagulls’, the nickname of Brighton and Hove
Albion, and it seems unnecessary to contradict them.
Probably unsurprisingly, Ruben now loves football – be it watching it
or playing it. Infact any ball game is popular - although the hitting-
toys-with-a-tennis-racket isn’t the best game in the world – for his
toys, the windows or our heads.
It seems obligatory at the lower levels of football to have a group of
kids knocking a ball about oblivious to the football on the pitch.
Luckily at Slough there are always quite a few kids home and away to
keep Ruben amused. But it's better to take him when there's little at
stake. When we were fighting relegation at Newport Isle of Wight, I
spent half my time chasing him away from puddles that would have
submerged him.
How long his love affair with Slough will last I don’t know. With work
starting on the brand new Brighton stadium just a mile away from our
house, he’ll no doubt be heading their sometime soon. He will love the
atmosphere, the football will no doubt be better, but there will be no
unofficial football matches, climbing over chairs, running up and down
their aisles or grass fights. And it will cost 25 quid to get in. So
to the man who asked about taking his kids to footie. Yes definitely,
but for smaller children, the non league experience wins everytime.

FOOTBALL FIX

Printed in the Southern League South and West match v Didcot Town Saturday 20th December 2008. We lost 3-2 in front of 295.

It was a freezing cold Saturday, Slough didn’t have a game, but I still needed my football fix. Finding myself in London to see the family’s newest addition (and the usual arguments over whether baby Natasha will support Man United or Chelsea!) I headed rather briskly up Summers Lane to see Wingate and Finchley take on Sutton United in the FA Trophy.
Wingate and Finchley were two separate clubs until 1991. Wingate were established after the Second World War by four Jewish sportsmen who believed football was a positive way to fight anti-Semitism. However, in 1972 they lost their ground thanks to the extension of the M1 motorway and although near neighbours, Finchley came to the rescue with a ground share arrangement, eventually the two clubs merged. They both now play at this famous old ground with its 1930’s Art Deco stand – a groundhoppers dream.
Unlike Sutton, I’ve been to the grandly named Abrahams Stadium a couple of times and things definitely seem to be on the up. They have refurbished their bar and seem to have a thriving youth team policy with lots of youngsters in team tracksuits. However, their fans were easily outnumbered by Sutton supporters. Being so close to Arsenal, Barnet and Enfield, the club struggle to reach crowds of three figures. The Sutton attendance of 149 easily the best of the season. As for the game, it was excellent and Wingate and Finchley’s youngsters should have won it. Still, they made sure in the replay, going through to the next round on penalties.
While I was freezing in North London, a small delegation from our club’s management committee were in Holland to check out Rijnsburgse Boys, who play in a small town near Amsterdam and have recently built a new stadium similar to the one proposed for us at Arbour Vale. Slough general secretary Roy Merryweather explained the reason for the visit: “Rijnburgse Boys play at a similar standard to Slough, but the main difference is that they are supported by large crowds and are really a thriving part of the local community.” Roy was joined by Chris Sliski and programme editor Glen Riley, who is apparently ‘concerned with projecting the image of the football club’, which if you see the state of Glen is a bit worrying!
Roy added: “If football is going to go forward in this country, we need to modernise and have facilities fit for the 21st century. If we don’t, crowds will continue dwindling and football clubs won’t be the centre of attraction for a town. We need to reach out to a bigger audience and give clubs a stronger chance of success. We want a community base and hub in the town, which will also encompass a wide range of recreational facilities for things like boxing, gymnastics, ballroom dancing — anything active.”
For me the visit to Holland again shows how far our club has moved in the right direction. That if we do end up at Arbour Vale, it will be more than just a football stadium but a sports hub for the whole town.
If we don’t take these lessons on board then we could end up in the same boat as Wingate FC and Finchley FC who had to merge to make ends meet. It’s up to all non league clubs to play a pivotal role in the local community and do what they can to attract new supporters like Natasha and her brother Rafi away from the child snatching claws of the Chelsea and Man United’s of this world!