sloughtownsoapbox

BLOATERS, FREEBIES AND BLUE-SKY THINKING

2012-01-15T09:59:00.001Z

Printed in the Southern League Central Division Saturday 14th January
2012 v Uxbridge. We won 2-0 in front of 310 people to stay 9 points
clear at the top.

I’ve only been to Great Yarmouth once and that was by mistake. We took
a wrong turning on our Norfolk Broads canal holiday and started
drifting out to sea. We’d already hit a boat and a bridge – let’s just
say that our canal boat driving skills left a lot to be desired. That
was over 20 years ago, but Great Yarmouth was an old fashioned seaside
resort with two piers, a long sandy beach, funfair, arcades and chips.
So I don’t quite know why the Savethebloaters twitter tag grabbed my
attention. Too much Christmas cheer and idle holiday time to spend
reading the twitter feed of a one man and his young daughters campaign
to save the club from oblivion with his Bloater bucket standing in
shop doorways, getting the cold shoulder from people and not much
spare change.
Currently bottom with just one win and six points and an average gate
of just 91 they couldn’t fulfill one fixture because not enough
players turned up and lost a recent home game 8-1. After going though
a similar thing with Slough maybe it was easier for me to empathise.
Founders and longest serving members of the Eastern Counties Football
League their old grandstand is the world's oldest football stand in
regular use, having been opened in 1892.
But from small acorns, mighty oaks and all that and you should never
underestimate what a few determined people can do to make a
difference. As twitter followers increased, so did items in the news
and people coming forward to help. The amazing thing is that their
debt is just five grand which is what Wayne Rooney probably earns
while he’s picking his nose. But more than that it was about reminding
people that if they want a local football club then some of them have
to get involved in helping to run it.
Another place, another financial car crash. Last season Windsor and
Eton FC went bust after 118 years of history owing an incredible
£283,000. They reformed at the same level as Great Yarmouth Town and
have promised to be more sensible this time round. Well they’ve
definitely showed a lot more marketing savvy than the last regime by
offering free entry to everyone on the bank holiday Tuesday after
Christmas. Instead of the average 150-200 crowd, 806 turned up to
watch Windsor FC beat Egham Town. Along with the free entry was a hog
roast, lasagna, soup, chocolate brownies and face-painting for kids.
The guest beers were drunk dry and the bumper souvenir programmes sold
out. As one of their supporters put it ‘Programme, hog roast, beer,
family - I'm going to end up spending more than I normally would at a
game. Genius.’ And if just a few of those fans become regulars; well,
job done.
The truth is, with so many other activities to grab people’s attention
and with people feeling the pinch; clubs need to be open to some
serious blue-sky thinking to get more fans through the gates.
Football blog ‘The Ball is Round’ put together a manifesto on the
future of non league football that deserves a read. Their nine point
plan includes creating co-operation partnership agreements between
Premier League/Football League clubs and Non League teams similar to
the Hyde United/Manchester City model. Free entry to Under 16’s. Allow
fans to drink beer on the terraces whilst watching the game. Make Non
League Day a firm fixture in the calendar. Scrap the ground grading
farce.
Most of this isn’t rocket science. Of course this shouldn’t be left to
one man and his daughter collecting cash or a chairman struggling to
get others involved. We can all do our bit for our clubs but clubs
should also be open to new ideas and possibilities, otherwise we will
see a lot more teams disappearing in the years to come.

A VERY GOOD NEW YEAR

2012-01-02T20:23:00.000Z

Published in the Southern League Central Division game v Marlow on
Monday 2nd January 2012. We won 3-0 in front of 374 and stay seven
points clear at the top of the league.

I’ve been getting the train to Slough far too early on a Saturday
morning recently to chat to my Nan about her life, recording and
writing it up for future family members to peruse. Anyone who lived in
London during the Second World War has a story to tell and what a
story it’s turning out to be. On Saturday I got the full run down on
Scottish Stores Pub in Kings Cross that my Aunt Bet and Uncle Alf used
to run. A hang out for soldiers, prostitutes, gangs and gay men; let’s
just say it was very rough and ready. On one occasion when a fight
broke out, my granddad asked a copper to come and help. When he found
out which pub, he impolitely declined and headed the other way down
the street!

In Brighton we have Queens Park Books, a prolific publisher of local
history whose byline is ‘everyone has a story to tell.’ And I love
the warts and all stories I am getting from my Nan rather than the
rose tinted ‘good old days’ view of the world we often get as time
passes. There’s also another phrase – ‘those who forget the past are
condemned to repeat it’. But this maxim applies to football as much as
foreign policy.

All of us are ready to have a good old moan up, and football
supporters can be the most ungrateful. Take Dario Gradi, Crew
Alexandra’s manager for 26 years who’s recently been coming under fire
from supporters after an indifferent second season in the leagues
basement division. But who can do what Gradi does? There was a time
where Crewe were regularly able to generate huge income from the sale
of star players, but no such thing has happened for three seasons and
top clubs are now poaching lower league younger players all the time.
All this has left Gradi with absolutely no power in the transfer
market: Nine of the players in one match had progressed through the
academy ranks. This commitment to youth, alongside his commitment to
attacking football is surely something to be cherished? I understand
it must be really frustrating for those that remember eight seasons in
the Championship but what do Crewe fans propose? Looking for a sugar
daddy that can supply a cheap shot in the arm for a few seasons before
the club becomes a financial car crash and ends up in administration?

For Slough fans the Conference days weren’t so long ago and we joked
with a Wycombe fan in a Chalfont pub just how different each clubs
fortunes have been. These car crash days are still very fresh in our
memories. Wycombe still sing songs about how much they love us and
with their perilous finances who knows, we might be meeting on equal
terms sooner than we think.

As I write these notes we are top of the league, which was not
something many of us would have bet on after that first half display
against Bedworth. The visitors should have been out of sight and would
have if it hadn’t been for some poor finishing, fantastic goalkeeping
and a sending off. But footballs about taking chances and in the
second half we bundled in two goals. With the rain pouring down, the
shed end was packed and the crowd was in fine voice. So how about
watching a team in the Conference South in our new ground off the
Stoke Road please.

We can all help drive the club forward by chipping in to help. Joining
the Supporters Trust, offering to help on matchdays, running the
turnstiles, stewarding (which seems to also include handing out
chocolates in the job description), writing and selling programmes,
flogging golden goal and raffle tickets, collecting wayward balls
during games, walking stupidly long distances at the end of the
season, sponsoring our players. Perhaps most importantly, for the
clubs finances, dragging new and old supporters to come along and
watch a winning side!

It’s looking like this could be a very good New Year.

BIG MOUTHS, FOGHORNS AND SEWAGE FARMS

2011-12-18T10:25:00.002Z

Printed in the Southern League Central Division game v Bedworth United
on Saturday 17th December 2011. We won 2-1 in front of 312 to go top
of the league again.

Thanks to another meeting about trying to re-open the local boozer on
our estate as a community pub, I couldn’t make the home game v
Bedfont. Priorities! (Apart from 3 more valuable points it didn’t
sound like I missed much anyway). So I needed to find myself a local
game. Rather handily it was the third round of the FA Vase and a short
hop on the bus to Piddinghoe Avenue with an exiled Glossop North End
fan to cheer on Peacehaven & Telscombe FC. We arrive to a noisy crowd,
not what I’ve come to expect from my infrequent trips to Peacehaven.
St.Ives from Cambridgeshire had arrived en masse and were in fine,
witty voice. This isn’t surprising as one of them is Slough Town
legend and now St.Ives resident Graham Foghorn.

Now there’s been much debate in the programme and on the forum about
how much quieter we are nowadays; with people like Foghorn moving out
of the area and not being replaced by younger big gobs, this isn’t
really surprising. Not so long ago, it seemed every player had his own
individual song and even when we were getting spanked every week it
didn’t stop the singing. The main man advising us on the community pub
is an AFC Wimbledon fan and when he found out I supported Slough he
doffed his hat and said Womble fans still say that we were the best
supporters
Ever. Despite a 9-0 drubbing that relegated us to this level of
football we didn’t stop singing.

St.Ives fans sing about Peacehaven being as quiet as a library. They
also get a little bit excited with the ‘rocket’ you could see as a
backdrop to the ground. One young man goes all wobbly as he reckons
it’s a sex toy. Not quite mate; its part of the enormous sewage works
behind the ground; the size of four and a half football pitches and
impressively hidden by the largest green roof in the UK. Hidden apart
from the poo-rocket.

To say the Peacehaven fans were outsung would be an understatement.
I’ve never heard any singing at Peacehaven, seen anyone donning any
scarves or black and white bobble hats. There’s no flags behind goals.
I heard one St.Ives fan say he couldn’t come here every week. That’s a
bit unfair, as Peacehaven is a friendly enough well run club but like
so many Sussex County League teams is dominated by Brighton and Hove
Albion. Just to make the point of how much they dominate, Albion
played at Peacehaven the Wednesday before in the Sussex Senior Cup and
despite it mainly being Albion youth players nearly 500 came along,
their biggest gate for many years. In contrast St.Ives nearest league
club is Peterborough, a 40 minute car drive away and hardly a team
you’d go out of your way to support. Today’s attendance is 155 and at
least a third is Saints fans who have made the 300 mile round trip.
With their players geeing up their fans St.Ives get a 67 minute
equalizer thanks to former Albion player Junior McDougald before the
winner comes from an own goal in the sixth minute of injury time. The
St Ives fans go wild, the club pocket £1,500 and they are into the
last 32.

For Peacehaven & Telscombe it’s time to concentrate on the league and
quietly continue with their invaluable role in providing football for
the local community. Foghorn will be joining us all when Slough play
his clubs nearest rivals St.Neots in March. Let’s make sure that by
then that more of us Rebels have rediscovered our vocal chords.

A SPOONFUL OF ECONOMIC MEDICINE MAKES YOUR WAGES GO DOWN

2011-12-03T19:54:00.000Z

Printed in the Southern League Central Division game v Bedfont on
Saturday 3rd December 2011. We won 2-1 in front of 277 and remain top
of the league.

They are calling the protests the 99% movement. Against the 1% who
continue to award themselves obscene riches while the rest of us get a
gigantic spoonful of economic austerity stuffed down our throats. This
week it was public sector workers who will be 16% worse off by the end
of this parliament. That’s if they’ve still got a job. Still what do
we need teachers, nurses, firefighters, binmen for anyway?

But not everyone is on prescription. In the last year FTSE directors'
pay packages have leapt 49% while Premiership wages continue to rise.
The Blackburn Rovers manager’s wages have jumped from £800,000 to
£1.5m a year. The BBC is ready to cut local news services, while Alan
Hanson gets £40,000 eveytime his dreary arse sits on the Match of the
Dull sofa.

And what about the bare faced cheek of some who tell us – yes, I’m
loaded, but I deserve it. One of their charming cheerleaders told
anyone who didn’t like it to bugger off to Cuba. The head of Thomas
Cook said that jobs in his company would have to go but that it
wouldn’t be right for him to take a pay cut. The Sainsbury boss got £8
million quid last year while admitting that many people see 'something
rotten' at the top of business because there is no relation between
pay and performance!

The High Pay Commission found that today's top bosses are often paid
70, 80 or over 100 times the salary of their average worker, when
three decades ago the ratio stood at 13 to 1. Even the average top
flight footballer ‘only’ earns 34 times the average national wage!

So does all this madness send your head in a spin as you claim not to
understand economics. Well I’m sorry I’m not having it. Us footie fans
can bore each other to death about tactics, get to grips with the
offside rule or work out the mathematical conundrums our team needs
for a play off place or to avoid relegation. When a subject really
grabs our attention, we make a point to understand.

Of course it doesn’t help that those at the top try and pull the wool
over our eyes. If you want to make something hard to understand; well
how about derivatives, algorithmic mechanisms, credit default swaps.
Pass the headache pills. But in reality they are just ways of gambling
and making money out of moving money. Much of it described by the
Chairman of the Financial Services Authority as ‘socially useless’!

Of course their silly names and games wouldn’t matter if they hadn’t
crashed the world’s economy. If half of Britain’s deficit wasn’t
thanks to the fact that we bailed out the banks. So how we going to
pay for this mess? With your pensions, your wages, your employment
rights, your jobs. For working for free dressed up as training. And
how we going to pay for players wages. By rising ticket prices
stupid.

But I’ve got one simple idea that even Wycombe fans could understand.
Stop massive tax evasion by the rich and powerful. Why? Well,
according to the Tax Justice Network we lose £70 billion annually by
large companies and wealthy individuals not paying their taxes!

So hats off to those that striked on Wednesday, and silent applause to
those Premiership fans that stayed quiet for 10 minutes today to try
and ‘take back the game.’ The politicians and media will scream and
shout about militants wrecking the economy (they’re doing very well
themselves without our help). About trouble-makers spoiling football
matches. But then they are the ones who’ve got the most to lose if
everyone stood together and said enough is enough.

Still, what do I know, I’m just a stupid football fan.

http://highpaycommission.co.uk/

REMEMBERING

2011-11-27T18:56:00.002Z

Printed in the Southern Central League programme on Saturday 26th
November 2011 v Ashford Town (Middlesex). We won 4-3 in front of 271
people and go back to top of the league.

While we all fell quiet for the minutes silence at Slough’s last home
game, Remembrance Sunday got me thinking about how lucky I am to be
here. Without ever being on a battlefield it’s impossible to imagine
what war is like but it’s a bit easier to imagine how frightening it
would be to have your home continually bombed; friends, families and
neighbours killed. My Nan, Daisy Hunt, was a teenager from the East
End of London during the Second World War and she had three very lucky
escapes. Living in EC1 wasn’t the safest place to be as it was
targeted by sustained German bombing raids. So bad at times my Nan
said it seemed like hell itself as the East End went up in flames, and
each day felt like you were on borrowed time.

One of the more pleasant sheltering from the bombs was in my Aunt Bets
Pub, The Scottish Stores in Caledonian Road, Kings Cross. Sheltering
from the bombs in the cellar they managed to while away the time by
drinking the stock. The pub was rough and ready, with Aunt Bet handy
with a wooden bat to keep order. It’s now a strip-club!

Nan’s family house was so bomb damaged they had to move out of the
City Road and into Hackney. Every day was a lucky escape, but one
time Nan was at her Dad’s allotment with her future husband Ernest.
They heard a Doodlebug overhead and quickly ran to a shelter. They
just managed to shut the door and were blown down the stairs but
unhurt. The nearby shelter was hit and the occupants not so lucky.
Doodlebugs were self-propelled pilotless aircraft, which when they
reached their maximum range would crash and explode. The bit that
everyone knew about the doodlebugs was their sound. When that sound
changed, you knew the bomb was going to drop and you darted for cover.

Another time, Nan’s friend popped round and asked if she wanted to go
to the library. Daisy said she couldn’t as she was preparing food for
dinner. The next minute the windows in the house were shattered as the
library they were planning to visit was hit by a rocket. One of her
friends was killed; identified by the bottom of her jaw, the only part
of her ever found.

The third lucky escape came when she was working in a factory when
another doddle-bug hit. She managed to get into the shelter with
workmates, but her clothes were ripped and her legs cut and they had
to be dug out of the rubble. She walked dazed down the street where
her grateful mum took her home, but she should have reported to the
medical staff that arrived on site with an ambulance or to the ARP.
The Air Raid Patrol wardens were the ones that went round the streets
during black-outs telling people to turn out their lights so the
bombers couldn’t target them. They also reported bomb damage and re-
united families. In the morning after the attack there was a knock at
their door from the ARP saying they had searched all night for my Nan
but she couldn’t be found. That was because she was asleep in bed
upstairs!

Lucky might not be the right word when describing the bombing of
London. But I sometimes wonder, what if one of the bombs had killed my
Nan. My mum wouldn’t have been born, I wouldn’t have been born and
neither would my son. My brother and his five boys would never have
ever existed. Neither would Daisy’s two sons (my uncles) and their two
children.

I think if we should remember anything during Remembrance Sunday is
just how precious life is, and that politicians and people should do
everything they can to make sure that war is the last ever resort.
Maybe if the politicians who seem so ready to go to war had to send
their children to fight, they might be a little less gung-ho.

TAKE BACK THE GAME

2011-11-13T09:07:00.000Z

Printed in the Southern League Central Division match v St.Neots Town
on Saturday 12th November 2011. We won 2-0 in front of 379 people and
go back to the top of the league!

AIK Stockholm versus Djurgårdens IF is the biggest football derby in
Sweden. But for the first 10 minutes of the match the stadium was
quiet with both sets of fans united in silence to protest how fans are
being priced out of the game.

This was the inspiration that has galvanized a pocket of fed up
Wolvehampton Wanderers fans into action. With their game against
Sunderland on Sunday 4th December live on Sky, Wolves fans decided
that this will be the time to demonstrate to the whole of the Premier
League what football would be like without supporters. There will be
no clapping players out onto the pitch, no singing, no celebrating any
goals scored, just stone dead silence. Watching the You Tube clip of
the AIK Stockholm game, if they pull this off it will be a really
powerful message (although knowing Sky they will probably pipe in
canned cheering).

Their message is now spreading, just like the fantastic Fans United
movement that got behind Brighton and Hove Albion, inviting supporters
of every allegiance to ‘Take Back The Game’ together. A game that has
seen some clubs prices rising by 900% since the Premier League was
launched in 1992! With the world economy a financial car crash, it’s
harder than ever for supporters to follow their team home or away.
While most of us see living standards dropping, player’s wages
continue to rise to an astronomical level. The average top-flight
football player now earns 34 times the average national wage!

Whilst this hyper-capitalism might have brought success and glamour to
the Premier League, the rampant commercialism and focus on profit has
left fans feeling like cash cow customers squeezed for every last
penny. From the ‘39th game’ through to privatised TV rights, European
super leagues and the suggestion of abandoning relegation, those at
the very top seem evermore determined to seek ever-greater riches to
create a manufactured, commodity product that bears little resemblance
to a sport.

But with American owners pilling into the Premier League, it’s no
surprise that the idea of scrapping relegation came about. In the US,
sports leagues are closed, meaning there is no relegation or
promotion. John Henry, one of Liverpool’s new owners who already owns
baseball team Boston Red Sox, admitted he knew "virtually nothing
about Liverpool Football Club nor EPL (English Premier League)." But
he spelt out why he was interested "So much internet clutter competes
for mindshare now. Big sports clubs are one of the few things which
can cut through and capture mindshare. We have one of the great
baseball teams, but its ability is geographically limited. The
Liverpool numbers blew us away. We believe there is a significant
amount of monetisation we can do, on a worldwide basis, which is not
occurring now."
This ice-cold business-speak sums up just what football clubs mean to
most owners. And the last thing Henry would want for his product is it
being ruined by relegation.

So should these protests matter to us lower league minnows? I reckon
it should. The hollowness of the trickle down theory; the idea that
those at the top with so much cash will reach down to the bottom, is
codswallop. Just look at how non league is littered with fallen clubs.
And with so much money swishing around in the top divisions, how come
grassroots football finds it so hard to get by?

Maybe the horse has already bolted, but just like the protestors
camped out across the world to protest under the 99 percent banner,
football fans should fight their corner and show that ultimately
without them, these football brands are damaged goods. ‘A movement for
football fans sick of high prices, sanitised stadiums and prima donna
players. We're taking the beautiful game back.’ It’s about time us
footie fans refused to suffer in silence.

http://www.takebackthegame.org/
http://twitter.com/#!/takebackthegame

http://somegoals.wordpress.com/2011/10/22/football-in-a-coma/

THE NATURE OF SUPPORT

2011-11-08T20:19:00.002Z

This article was written by Steve Cumber and printed in the Southern League Central Division game v Woodford Town on Saturday 5^th November 2011. Read the Slough Town forum and you see why I wanted to publish it on here.

Much has been written about the recent FA Cup games with Hanworth Villa, but the comments which interested me the most was about the support given to both teams.

We at Slough have had many FA Cup runs over the years and the one thing you can depend on is that whenever a team experiences a modicum of success in the Cup non regular folk turn up at the matches. This is mostly good news, as the whole point of big games is that they attract bigger crowds than the normal ones, make you more money, etc, etc. The downside is that you’re never certain who exactly is going to turn up, and this can lead to some of the issues we had in the initial match.

I have been to Hanworth’s ground when they have played a league match and it is a typical Combined Counties affair, with around 60 folk in attendance and absolutely none of the noisiness they made in their matches with us. So the additional folk made the additional noise. I get cross with these “hangers-on”, whichever team they are following, because I always think that if you can turn up for a big game, why don’t you bother to come along for a smaller game. Singing “ Hanworth ‘til I die” doesn’t have much sincerity if Hanworth aren’t going to see you again for the rest of the season. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but club supporters at our level should be able to do better than to ape the lowest common denominator chants from the Premier League.

But the truth is that in both games Hanworth’s support was very noisy, whilst ours was not. This prompted quite a bit of soul searching on the club forum, with some good points raised. We also had a thought provoking post from a Hanworth man named “Rooster”, which I found very interesting, and who chastised us, with a degree of accuracy I think, with being just too bloody negative.

Back at Wexham Park we used to make quite a noise – I only have to think back to those wretched drums and bugle that were played. But in the eight years since we left, the noise has gradually subsided, to the point nowadays where it is quite rare to hear a full bloodied Slough Town chant get going. It is clear that the noisy folks, the chant leaders, the drum and bugle players, have moved on. The journey first to Windsor and now to Beaconsfield clearly hasn’t helped, and being out of the town is certainly “out of sight, out of mind” for many people. And the average age of our supporters has, I’m sure, risen over the years, and us old folk don’t shout so much as you young ‘uns. ( Unless you’re Torquay Eddie of course, but his is specialist work aimed at the officials.)

Which means that we have become a very refined and quietly spoken bunch of supporters. Sure, if we are doing well, then we do manage to raise a few shouts or two, but if the match is unspectacular the atmosphere can be almost funereal, despite this being precisely when vocalizing is required. We may have more attendees at our games than virtually anyone in this division but most of the time, for all the noise and encouragement we give our team, we may as well be AFC Hayes or North Greenford.

We just seem to have lost the knack of getting behind the team. The very time that a bit of encouragement and supporting from us might make the difference, we clam up and do nothing. Some folk behind the goal try to get things going, but these songs tend to fizzle out due to sheer lack of input. Even the old “Parklife” song from our Conference days can’t seem to cut it anymore – not surprising I suppose as fewer and fewer people who stand there remember those halcyon days, and if the song means nothing to you then why sing it.

Incredibly, not only is our support less positive than it used to be, but in some aspects it comes across as actually negative. And the place to see this is on the unofficial Slough Town forum. I’m all for healthy debate and people putting their views out into the world, as that’s what democracy is all about. But some of the vitriolic nonsense against management, players and other supporters which appears on the forum defies belief. To my mind the forum administrators aren’t nearly tough enough with this stuff. There’s a line which shouldn’t be crossed, and when you cross it you forfeit your rights in this matter.

Supporting Slough isn’t compulsory, so why would you spend your time badmouthing others who are trying to do the same thing as you confess to be doing. Disagree by all means, but those who clearly have hidden agendas should be politely invited to pursue them elsewhere. Steve Bateman called them “keyboard cowards”, and Slough aren’t the only club to have them by any means. Calm down guys, we all want the same thing, don’t we ?

The post from Hanworth man Rooster mentioned earlier elaborated on this whole subject very well and if you haven’t read it yet, then it is worth doing so. Despite what you hear sometimes we are doing well – many teams would like to be doing as well as us.

When one reads the forum or talk to Rebels fans, you often find that we lurch between two extremes. A victory means that we are going to storm away with the title, whilst a defeat will always condemn us to relegation. This alternation between triumph and catastrophe is the classic behavior of a depressive individual, and if the Slough Town supporters went en masse to the doctors he would undoubtedly prescribe us a course of Valium. Are Slough alone in this – no, of course not. But with the number of supporters we have we could and should be doing better in the shouting stakes than we are.

Compared to five years ago we are in paradise. The club and team are in infinitely better shape and the future is rosy. But paradoxically our support in the dark days was better than it is now. No-one who was at the 9-0 defeat at AFC Wimbledon will forget our support that day. The home terraces heaped lavish praise on us for it, but if we could do it then, why not now, when we win more than we lose.

The move back to Slough cannot come quick enough for so many reasons, but the necessity for us to generate both more and younger supporters is I believe the most paramount reason. Despite being avid Rebel’s fans, most of us here have, as far as vocal supporting goes, feel that we have done our bit. We need fresh blood; a new generation of tyros to wear the amber shirt with pride. Promotion would help of course, but whilst we are here at Beaconsfield, Southern Premier football might add a couple of dozen to the gate. Our own stadium in Slough would add a couple of hundred at least.

How about we all make a mid season resolution. Every one of us should make 10% more noise in supporting the team. Individually it’s not much, but collectively it might just inspire a tantalizing Sinclair cross and a resulting Sonner bullet volley for a match deciding goal which just might give us the extra point to win the league.

Come on, let’s all try it.

DISGUSTED OF TUNBRIDGE

2011-11-06T08:15:00.000Z

Printed in the Southern League Central Division match v Woodford
United on Saturday 5th November 2011. We won 2-1 in front of 264 to
stay (and I like typing this) TOP OF THE LEAGUE!

As I walked into the clubhouse two men were complaining about the
police lack of interest in strangers knocking on their doors. This was
proper ‘Disgusted of Tunbridge’ stuff and I was all ears. Except it
was Seaford fans complaining about cold-calling which went to a vote
this week and could mean the end of Christmas Carols, trick or
treaters, rotary club charity collections – but not Jehovah’s
Witnesses! This was proper Victor Meldrew stuff.
The last time I visited Seaford Town was six years ago when they were
up against more grumpy neighbours complaining that if the club got
permission for floodlights it would bring crowd trouble! Their first
application was refused by Lewes Council because the lights would be
‘detrimental to local residential amenities.’ Ignoring the fact that
football clubs are invaluable community amenities. Eventually the
moaning gits were ignored and not only floodlights but a new seated
stand has been built meaning entry to the FA Vase and hopefully soon
the FA Cup. They only need standing cover for 22 more people and they
would be eligible for promotion to the Sussex County League Division
One.
So having only competed in the FA Vase twice before, this first round
tie was the furthest the club has ever got and the local paper billed
it as their biggest game so far this season. Their visitors Tunbridge
Wells play a league higher in the Kent Premier League and have a
healthy average attendance of 129 something as Seaford’s programme
notes pointed out said ‘they can only dream of.’
Seaford is a pleasant little town in between Brighton and Eastbourne,
nestling at the foot of the South Downs where they head out to the sea
under the English Channel on their way to France. As their website
explained “The club is over a hundred years, and because it never had
the benefit of wealthy patrons in the early years, the club remains
typical of local football: keen players, enthusiastic supporters,
dedicated officials and just as many crises as any Premier League
club. Ours don't make national headlines, we don't go spectacularly
bankrupt or have to call in foreign billionaires to rescue us, and we
continue to play on much as earlier generations have done.”
However, the club definitely has the feel of one on the up. OK so
crowds might average around 50 but with football clubs for the under
nines upwards, over 250 people play under the Seaford Town banner.
They have a healthy number of people helping out, and although today’s
crowd was given as 98 it seemed a lot more, with no doubt plenty of
non paying players, wives, officials and four keen ball-girls. And
with a 23,000 residents they surely have a large enough pool to pull
in more punters.
As for the match; well for starters it was nice to actually enjoy a
game as a neutral rather than one watching with hands through eyes. I
was impressed with the quality of football and although Tunbridge
seemed more skillful going forward the teams evened each other out
even until Tunbridges Drew Crush struck in the 35 minutes. But
Seaford’s pressure finally paid off with Tom Morton’s scoring a wonder
goal on the stroke of half time. Picking up the ball 30-yards out, he
found the keeper off his line and picked his spot with great accuracy
to level up the scores. In the second half Tunbridge started to assert
themselves and on the 78 minute defender Andy Boyle headed goalbound
for the Wells winner. Seaford had a few more chances but the Tunbridge
keeper was commanding his goal and it was not to be as the Kent team
celebrated their 125 birthday with a win.
Still on that performance Seaford Town should be challenging for
promotion to the first division this season. I’m sure the ‘disgusted
of’ types will be shaking in their Seaford-seaside-bungalow-boots at
the very thought.

HANWORTH HOUSE OF HORRORS

2011-10-22T17:11:00.000Z

Printed in the Southern League match v Rugby Town Saturday 22nd October 2011. Slough won 4-0 in front of 275. Great result after Tuesdays FA Cup defeat.

Whatever I write is going to sound like sour grapes, so I’ll say it now. Well done Hanworth Villa. You deserve to be in the 4th Qualifying round of the FA Cup. You wanted it more than us. To get this far in
the Cup in your first ever season, well, it’s what FA Cup dreams are made of. But I won’t lie. I was half dreading the replay – not cos I thought an upset was on the cards. Stupidly, I thought Slough Town’s class would show. It was more that I was seriously worried that all the bad feeling from Saturday’s game, and all the words that had been brewing on our unofficial forum and twitter would spill over onto the terraces.
In the end I needn’t have worried. The big crowd was well stewarded and policed. The Hanworth Villa fans packed in like sardines in their little tin shed out sang a large freezing Slough contingent stuck out on an open field. We were numb as we squandered a comfortable one goal lead in the first half to collapse in the second
with the momentum of the home team backed by their supporters, helping them to a famous 3-1 victory.
Hanworth – not Hanwell, where my doughnut of a cousin first ended up – is near Feltham in Middlesex. They only formed in 1976 and have risen up the pyramid moving into their current ground ‘The Ranch’ in 1997.
It has slowly been developed enough for them to enter the FA Cup for their first time this season. Playing a league below Slough in the Combined Counties they average 125 for league games and a lot of their players started at the club as teenagers.
But it’s more than just a football club. With the decline in the number of pubs, social clubs and meeting places available for people locally ‘The Ranch’ is bucking this trend with the club house open 7 days a week, and employing a full time manager.
Their support arrived in numbers and fine voice with two full coaches
at Saturday’s game. Infact they’ve bought more away support than the rest of our league put together! Slough twice surrended the lead, the second time to a thunderbolt of a 25 yard free kick from Levi King. But this is when things started to turn nasty.
The Hanworth fans celebrated by barging into Slough supporters and intimidating us. We got racist chants, being called faggots, abuse of our disabled supporters, running on the pitch, and of course everyone in Slough is a Muslim (surely they could have thought of some blackberry jokes tho). Out came those old seventies classics like 'you're going home in a f****ing ambulance' and 'you're gonna get your f***ing head kicked in'
Hello, this is non league football not some re-run of a football crowd scene from ‘Life On Mars’. Most Slough fans left the shed in fear of their safety. If Slough had scored I think we could all predict what would have happened next. As it was this was the first time in over 10 years that the police have had to be called to a Slough game and this was solely due to the Hanworth fans.
The crowd of 525, many no doubt visiting for the first time, wouldn’t have come away with very good impressions of non league football.
Some Hanworth supporters said this was just a bit of banter but in Tuesdays programme said “Some of our support could be construed as unsavory, there was certainly some unnecessary bad language and
remarks…support your team, respect your opponents.”
Good luck to Hanworth against Totton. I’ll be crying into my beer at Leighton Buzzard with that usual football feeling of ‘what if.’

SLOUGH NAIL THE WOOD

2011-10-16T09:52:00.000Z

Printed in the FA Cup 3rd Qualifying round game v Hanworth Villa
Saturday 19th October 2011. We drew 2-2 in front of 525 people
including some very pleasant Hanworth fans.

The whole of southern England seemed to be heading for Brighton to
enjoy the hottest October day ever. Except me. I needed to go the
other way via the hell that is the London underground. I arrived at
Slough to be greeted by that lovable stuffed dog Station Jim as cup
fever gripped the town.
Er, maybe. Still FA Cup Day 2nd qualifying round day certainly had me
entranced with Slough Town at home to Conference South team Boreham
Wood. No disrespect to Boreham Wood but when the draw was announced I
was disappointed. We have played them many times before and they don’t
exactly pack in the crowds. But the more I thought about it; well
Slough had already beaten Binfield, Banbury and I reckon we could make
it a hat trick of B’s and defeat Boreham Wood.
A few pre-match pints in the Alpha Arms then that long, expensive cab
ride up to Beaconsfield. With a planning application for a new ground
being submitted in December, hopefully this financially draining ride
won’t be for too much longer.
The sun might have been baking but Slough players came out and began
to batter the Wood. Within seven minutes Stuart Swift had scored a
fantastic free kick. Steve Sinclair then went off injured and it was
time for Charlie Mpi to replace him. Superquick Charlie has only been
getting brief substitute appearances so this was his chance to shine.
On half an hour he had this chance, clean through on goal with just
the keeper to beat. We all held our collective breath, then let out
roars of approval as he netted his first Slough goal. 2-0 Slough and
that’s the way it stayed at half time.
We knew Boreham Wood would eventually have a go, and in on the 55
minute they pulled a goal back. Just two minutes later one of their ex
players Sean Sonner scored again for Slough and the Sonner-BorehamWood
song began. But then straight from the kick-off Boreham Wood scored
again making it 3-2.
Then Boreham Wood went and bloody scored again. Our hearts sank until
we saw the lino flag for offside.
Just what is it with football? You look forward to the game all week,
come all that way, spend all that money, then just want the bloody
game to hurry up and finish! I felt sick with nerves for most of the
second half until finally the 4 minutes injury time were up and the
Rebels go marching on.
Today it’s the turn of Hanworth Villa who play a level below us in the
Combined Counties. Formed just 35 years ago we have never played them
before and this is their first ever season in the FA Cup. Both clubs
can almost smell the 1st round proper, but please let’s not take any
team for granted. Remember last season, when we lost to Erith Town in
that wonderful athletics stadium? Or at home to Harrogate Railway
Athletic who left us at the sidings as the got to play Bristol City.
Or what about Wroxham who turned us over in the Norfolk Broads.
For any club, FA Cup money is welcome, but for a club without a
ground, the nine grand we have now earned is fantastic. As we basked
in the victory in the clubhouse, our chairman got the drinks in for
the players while we got the leftover hospitability sandwiches!
Then the tweet came through from Sean Sonner saying simply ‘I love
football’.
Who could disagree with him on a day like that?

BUDDY, CAN YOU SPARE ME A DIME?

2011-10-02T08:00:00.000Z

Printed in the FA Cup 2nd Qualifying round game v Boreham Wood on
Saturday 1st October 2011. Slough won 3-2 in boiling heat against a
team two leagues above us, cheered on by 277 fans.

Are they for real? Are the rich (and their PR companies) really
demanding that the government abolish the 50% tax rate otherwise they
will have a hissy fit and leave the country. Well seeya. The
government, stuffed full of millionaires says it’s sympathetic. Then
has the cheek to tell public sector workers – already facing a two-
year pay freeze, job losses and inflation running higher than it has
for more than a decade – that they will have to work longer, pay more
and get less pension so we can help reduce Britain’s debt. A debt that
is so big because we had to borrow billions bailing out the bloody
banks. (over 50 per cent of the debt is because of this bailout)

I like the attitude of the fabulously titled Italian ‘simplification
minister’ who told footballers to stop being ‘spoilt children’ after
they complained about a solidarity tax of 5-10% imposed on all high
earners. Italy is introducing austerity measures to pay for its debt
crisis and Minister Roberto Calderoli, lashed out at the country's
professional footballers, threatening to make them pay a new income
tax twice over if they didn’t stop moaning! Mind you, many Italian
footballers negotiate a net salary, which means their clubs pay all
their taxes anyway which could now include the top-up solidarity
tax.

And that’s the problem with ‘we are all in it together’ guff from our
inherited millionaire chancellor Gideon Osborne. We are so blatantly
not. The bankers who crashed the world’s economy demanded less and
less regulation so they could indulge in ever more complex casino
banking scams. But were happy to accept taxpayer’s handouts when it
all went tits up because they were ‘too big to fail’. The super-rich
use every trick in the book to dodge their taxes. Barclays Bob Diamond
received £6.5m on top of his salary but incredibly told a government
committee it was “time to move on from widespread bank-bashing.”

These people look a like the football bosses who load their clubs with
debt then scarper leaving the fans to pick up the pieces. Not that
it’s surprising seeing as the people owning football clubs are the
very same superrich and the ‘unfit and improper.’ Leeds United’s Ken
Bates was named and shamed by the governments regulation committee for
the elaborate web he weaved to hide the fact that he owned the club.
Birmingham City’s owner was recently arrested in Hong Kong on money
laundering charges. Rangers owe millions to the taxman who have frozen
part of the clubs bank account. In a bid to get into the promised land
of the Premiership, many Championship clubs spend nearly all their
turnover on wages some spend even more. And Plymouth Argyle might not
even exist by the time you read this.

Maybe these football clubs and bankers need to take a feather out of
David Wailliams swimming cap. His latest bonkers Thames swimming
venture raised a million quid for sports relief. Asked at the end of
the grueling venture how he felt he replied “Whatever I’m suffering,
its not as bad as being Kenyan,12 years old, homeless, with no shoes
on your feet, no mum and dad.”

The world’s economy is on a knife-edge, yet bankers and top football
clubs carry on as if all is normal, stuffing their pockets and
complaining that it’s not fair they have to contribute to society. A
Premiership where a five year old can predict who will be at the top
is bad for competition and the long term future of the game.

The gap between the rich and poor is greater now than at any point in
the past 50 years. Abolish the 50 per cent tax rate. I agree; as long
as it’s put up to 80%.

* Fantastic article on why attacks on pensions are wrong
http://falseeconomy.org.uk/blog/this-is-not-a-pension-reform-it-is-simply-a-pay-cut

SLOUGH RIDE A COCK-HORSE TO MAKE BANBURY CROSS

2011-09-25T09:03:00.002Z

Printed in the Southern League Central Division match v Daventry Town
on Saturday 24th September 2011. Slough won 2-1 in front of 274 to go
fourth.

There’s nothing like the FA Cup to make me spring out of bed early,
bursting with excitement. Or maybe that’s just my son shouting that
he’s bursting for a wee. Whatever. I do love the FA Cup especially
when I get to go places I’ve never been. Actually, I have been to
Banbury before but that was for a friends funeral. Simon Jones was
killed on his first day as a casual worker at Shoreham docks, his head
crushed by the grab of a crane. He had no proper training doing one of
the most dangerous jobs in the country sent by an employment agency
that didn’t care about health and safety. The dock company had also
customized the crane grab that decapitated him to save time and money.
Now people hiding behind bogus health and safety rules gets on my
nerves as much as it does the Daily Snarl, but Simon’s death showed
that cutting corners costs lives. Aged just 24 Simon was killed to
save a few quid and his friends and families weren’t prepared to take
that lying down. We mounted a direct action campaign to get the
company to court which we eventually did.

In my mind Banbury was a small, quiet Oxfordshire market town. Er,
apparently not so small and definitely a bit more raucous. Their fans
were certainly in a raucous mood, and it was good to have a decent
crowd getting behind their team even if they did abuse us and somehow
think that 100 travelling Slough fans could fit in a taxi. Maybe
counting isn’t one of their strong points or taxis are a bit more
accommodating in this part of the country.

It is now nearly 39 years since we last paid Banbury. That was also an
FA Cup game and we lost 2-1. Someone in the pub complained that they
still hadn’t got a programme for that game. We reckoned it was time to
let it go.

Banburys decade of horror was the eighties. They nearly went bankrupt,
had to sell their ground and spent time in the Hellenic League. The
Spencer Stadium has an ‘everything must go’, falling down and unloved
feel to it. It also suffers from flooding and directly behind one goal
is a new flood relief channel! The grounds owner, a millionaire who
made his money from poultry, wants to build houses on it, but the
council won’t let him unless they find another ground. But it is in a
fantastic location, right next to train station in the middle of town.
Sites have been identified but as we all know these things take time.

Banbury are in the Southern Premier and in the opening 20 minutes it
showed but we were fantastic in the second half and when Ben Abbey
scored our third Sloughs fans were cock a hoop singing music wherever
she goes.

As we escaped to the bar to get out of the rain, we chatted to a
beaming Slough chairman Steve Easterbrook. As he pointed out, many
clubs base their finances on a run in the FA Cup. If that doesn’t
happen then budgets are cut. So it’s a very handy three grand for a
club with no ground. It’s not so long ago that Slough beat Paul
Mersons Walsall in the First round of the FA Cup. A game that Merson
has said was the lowest point of his footballing career. Could we
reach the first round proper again?

What the game also showed is that there isn’t a big difference between
the top clubs at our level and the division above. But with just one
automatic promotion spot, the hardest part is getting out of this
league. But this is just the sort of victory to spur us on to go and
claim that automatic spot this season.

MUSSELMEN CLING ONTO VICTORY

2011-09-14T06:48:00.000Z

Printed in the Southern League Central Division game v Barton Rovers
on Tuesday 13th September 2011. We won 2-1 in front of 212

Non League Day, the FA Cup and Slough playing on a Sunday. So instead
of a long train journey, a chance to go and support one of the numerous
local clubs near my home. The sheer amount of football clubs playing a
decent level of football is just staggering. I can get to eight clubs
who entered this years FA Cup on a Brighton day saver bus pass. Just
how do they all survive?
After having tea with the local vicar three of us head for the train
to Shoreham for a bit of FA Cup Extra Preliminary round action.
Unfortunately my powers of persuasion and pleading with people that
this was Non League Day with no Premiership or Championship football
excuses fell on mostly deaf ears, with ignored texts and feigning
death. In the end I only persuade my long term Albion season ticket
holder mate and his daughter to visit Middle Road to watch the
Musselmen take on Lancing.
Shoreham is one of those places just outside Brighton that I often
just pass through. The high street, a mix of old and pedestranised new
is very pleasant with a view of the harbour and a chance for all sorts
of food and beer sampling.
Pity we picked the real ale old boozer that wouldn’t let kids in.
We arrived too late to buy a programme with a healthy looking crowd of
over 120 including quite a few opposing fans. Not surprising, as you
couldn’t get much more local than this (well you could if Shoreham
played Southwick) and on bank holiday Monday this very same fixture
had seen Shoreham lose 3-0. For the first 40 minutes it looked like it
would go the same way then just before half time Shoreham’s Charlie
Walker scored the only goal changing the whole dynamics of the game.
Confidence is a wonderful thing and the goal was just what Shoreham
needed. They were a much better side in the second half missing plenty
of chances to put the game to bed. In the end it stayed 1-0 and
Shoreham pocked £1,500 for winning on top of their £750 from the
previous round and a 1st qualifying round tie with Thamesmead Town.
Premiership clubs might not care for the competition but it matters a
lot clubs further down the footballing pyramid.
Brighton’s new ground and emerging strength is enticing people who
haven’t thought about the Albion for years. This will no doubt affect
the already sparse crowds at this level. To their credit the Albion
were encouraging people to support Non League Day, I just think some
of the smaller clubs could do a bit more to help themselves.
I know that’s easy said than done. The archetypal bloke behind the bar
at Shoreham who has to put his hand to everything said about 10 people
help run the club and the players just get expenses. They also have
six other teams playing under their banner. But money is always tight
and they have no shirt sponsorship. Shoreham struggled last season
with crowds averaging around 50 and they would have been relegated if
it hadn’t been for ground grading regulations.
The club founded in 1892 have spent most of their time yo-yoing
between Sussex County League One and Two. But these clubs play an
important role in our communities and we should all do our bit to
encourage friends and families to switch off Sky or ditch Saturday
shopping and come and support the Rebels. You never know they might
even enjoy themselves.

CUP-TASTIC

2011-09-04T19:12:00.002Z

Printed in the FA Cup Preliminairy round game v Binfield Sunday 4th
September 2011. We won 3-1 in front of 291 people.

It’s only the beginning of September and we are into the second round
of the FA Cup (Yes, I know it’s still the preliminary round). Nearly
250 teams have already been eliminated and our opponents today beat
Reading Town in a replay with a grand total of 177 people watching
both games.
Five teams went to the wall before a ball was kicked.
Friar Lane Old Boys, Bicester Town, Dawlish Town, Saffron Walden Town
and Andover all pulled out for various financial reasons.
Making the biggest splash were Ascot United who lost to Wembley 2-1 in
the extra preliminary round. So what? Well the tie, Ascots first in
the 140 year history of the cup, was also the first football match
ever to be screened live on Facebook thanks to new cup sponsors
Budweiser. Six quid entrance (and free for under 16s) got you a quid
off a pint of Bud, a free burger and a raffle draw where you got the
chance to take penalties against Dave Beasant (the only goalie to have
saved a penalty in an FA Cup Final) with the prize of FA Cup final
tickets. You could also get yourself a picture next to the cup. So
instead of the previous week’s league match gate of 88 Ascot smashed
their record attendance with a massive crowd of 1149! Meanwhile 20,000
people watched the match on Facebook. As for Wembley, they pocketed
£750 from The FA prize fund and played Ardley United yesterday.
I would prefer it if we get drawn away in the first few grounds to
smaller clubs than ourselves, to places I’d never usually visit. I
reckon there should be an advantage rule in the first few rounds where
lower ranking clubs get home advantage to see if they can pull off a
shock. I’m sure we can all remember the fun we had at Erith Towns
athletic stadium last season where Slough got dumped out by a club a
league lower than us.
The FA Cup Preliminary round is also the second Non League Day. Non-
League Day is such a brilliant, simple idea that after the success of
last year’s event it’s being repeated again. September 3rd was picked
because thanks to England playing Friday night the Premier League and
Championship are taking a week off. The idea is to tempt those fans
with an otherwise football free weekend into a bit of non league
action. A chance to shine a light on the hundreds of clubs in this
country who are almost exclusively volunteer run, and do so much good
for the local community, be it through coaching, fund raising or
providing opportunities for local people. A chance to experience
football at a level they may be otherwise unfamiliar with at a
fraction of the price.
This year the Macmillan Cancer Support came on board as Non League
Days official charity, ex-England international Chris Waddle is the
official ambassador, and the day secured the backing of the All Party
Football Group in Parliament. The Conference also organised a special
three-game hop while other clubs run special deals to get the punters
in.
And who knows what else might happen? It was the authors of the
excellent website therealfacup who announce on their website
"disillusioned with football at the top level, we visited our local
team, Dulwich Hamlet, to watch them play Broxbourne Borough in the
Preliminary Round of the FA Cup and were hooked" Now they have
rekindled their love of football by reporting about the early rounds
of the FA Cup and Vase.
We often hear that the FA Cup doesn’t matter to those clubs at the
top, but to clubs like Ascot United, Wembley and Slough Town, the FA
Cup still means a lot.

• Reviews of FA Cup, FA Vase and more http://therealfacup.co.uk/
• Non League Day http://www.nonleagueday.co.uk/

ORCHARD PARK NOT WEXHAM PARK

2011-08-27T19:27:00.007Z

Printed in the Southern League Central Division game v Fleet Town
Saturday 27th August 2011. We won 3-0 in front of 277 people.

With a fanfare splash across the Slough Observers front page, it was
announced that ‘'Footballs coming home'.’ But this wasn’t about Slough
Towns move to Arbour Vale but that a revamp at Wexham Park Stadium is
under way. The ground we were evicted from and has since been left
empty for eight years is showing signs of life.

Wexham Park owner Byron Thorne is said to be investing a substantial
amount of money in order to bring the former Slough Town ground up to
standard. Debris, overgrown weeds and vandalised chairs in the stands
are now all set to be removed and grass cutters started repairing and
clearing the pitch. Former leisure manager Martin Blake, who is co-
coordinating the refurbishment, said he was very excited about the
prospect of football returning to the site in Wexham Road. "Already we
have had local organisations and football teams get in touch who want
to be able to come and play here.” According to Mr. Blake a
professional football club has already expressed interest in using the
site as a location for a football academy. Other community groups
within Slough are also said to be interested. Who they are is of
course all top secret but Martin Blake added that he would love to see
Slough Town return.

But why now? Imagine you’re on your way to church just about to get re-
married when the ex you haven’t seen for eight years starts shouting
'what about me'.’ Well what about you. While we all have great
memories of Wexham Park with Slough playing their highest ever level
of football their, the club never owned the ground and never got
income from the clubhouse. If we ever went back there it would still
be at the whims of an outside landlord, who in the past showed just
how much they cared! Remember the sixty seats saga? Or the fact that
the ground is half in South Bucks who never really had the best
interests of Slough or its football team.

Work has also started on Stoke Poges Lane for a new Sikh Social and
Cultural Sports Centre. This will feature a single-storey sports
centre with sports field and apparently be home of Singh Sabha
Slough.

So you wait 10 years for a ground back in Slough, then three come all
at once.

Our chairman Steve Easterbrook told the Slough Observer that we're not
interested in a return to Wexham Park as we already have another site.
But does this muddy the water with the council?

Thankfully no and I received this prompt reply from Councillor James
Swindlehurst, commissioner for neighbourhoods and renewal. He told me
"The council has been supporting Slough Town Football Club’s bid to
return to Slough since the Labour Group were elected in 2008, and it
is a promise now moving to the delivery stage. The club has been
working with a housing partner to develop plans and to put these
through the planning system, and we look forward to seeing the
proposals which are presented."

"This Arbour Vale site has the capacity to support the stadium with
its ancillary facilities and housing which makes the development
viable, and it has the bonus of being located within the Slough
boundary so the club can meet their ambition to return home. The
council will continue to work with the club to advance proposals for
the Arbour Vale site, as superficial ground improvements at the old
Wexham Stadium seem unlikely to deliver a home which matches the fans
expectations for a brand new community stadium in Slough.”

I’m not sure what the owners of Wexham Park are up too, but they
probably realise they are sitting on a piece of land that is worth
millions but is worthless. Maybe they should just let it revert back
to being part of Wexham Woods.

So thanks, but no thanks. We want Orchard Park, not Wexham Park.

THE WORST RUN SPORT IN THE COUNTRY

2011-08-25T07:12:00.001Z

Printed in the Southern League Central Division game v Burnham Tuesday 23^rd August 2011. We lost 2-1 in front of 300.

The two teams that won promotion to the football league last season perfectly illustrate the hugely different ways of running a football club. Crawley Town outspent clubs in league one let alone league two backed by anonymous oversees investors. Meanwhile AFC Wimbledon, formed after the FA’s ludicrous decision to let the old Wimbledon move to Milton Keynes, went from the Combined Counties to Football League in just nine seasons. They are owned and run by their supporters and their only mysterious figure is Hayden the Womble.

This issue of ownership was part of a wide ranging six month Parliamentary enquiry. And guess what? The culture, media and sport select committee's report said that footballs governing body is in serious need of reform. It has come up with 34 recommendations that in any sane environment would be an uncontroversial manifesto for change.

But this of course is football.

The report identifies the two main logjams that need to be unblocked at the FA, and they unsurprisingly revolve around money and power. Leeds United lovable chairman Ken Bates was even name checked somewhat unfavourably at the way Leeds were owned. They heard evidence from a host of people including former FA chief executive Ian Watmore who highlighted his frustrations that during his tenure there was "nothing chief or executive about the job" and that is why he left. His proposals for reform too often "either hit the buffer" or "just (weren't) possible to do at all because we didn't have control of our money and our resources".

The report recommends a radical overhaul of the FA to enable it to establish itself as an overarching regulator with a longer-term strategy with tougher rules on ownership and finances. The report says: "The FA, Premier League and Football League have spent too long behind the curve on ownership matters." It proposes a new licensing scheme, overseen by the FA and applying beefed-up financial controls and a tougher fit and proper persons test.

It also calls for the football creditors rule to be scrapped. This rule has meant that when clubs have gone into administration, players receive all their pay whilst local businesses and charities only receive 20 pence for each pound they were owed. It also recommends that the Financial Services and Markets Act be amended to help supporters' trusts, and that the long-term future of Supporters Direct be secured.

The sports minister, Hugh Robertson, who has called football 'the worst-run sport in the country' immediately called on football to respond positively to the recommendations and warned that the status quo was not an option. "There is a moment here for the football authorities to respond positively and decisively to both the content and spirit of the report and we will be working with them to achieve this."

But will a Conservative coalition that loves the free market and has declared a war on red tape really want to bring in legislation? The Premier League have refused to comment so far but will no doubt be relying on behind the scenes lobbying and press briefings to their Sky/Sun News International financial bedfellows to undermine the recommendations. Hey, they could even threaten a European superleague to scare the government off.

The Premier League's 20 clubs collectively lost close to half a billion pounds last year despite record income. Does that matter? Maybe ask Portsmouth, Leeds United and a host of other lower league football fans if it does.

Successive sports ministers have urged football to sort itself out with little success. Will it be any different this time round? Have our ‘fit and proper’ MPs got the fight to take on the Premier League?

Or will they bottle it, just like they did with the bankers.

* Ian Watmore’s speech to the select committee http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201012/cmselect/cmcumeds/792/11032202.htm

WRITTEN IN THE STARS

2011-08-14T09:21:00.002Z

Printed in the Evo-stik League Southern Division One Central game v Aylesbury Saturday 13th August 2011. Drew 0-0 in front of 306 people.

Surely its written in the stars that this is the season Slough Town win the league and begin the next one in their fantastic new ground back in Slough as champions? Well I bloody hope so. As we scrape along the barrel of the football pyramid I feel we have done our time now. Thank you all the small towns and villages I would have never visited, but it’s time to move on. Mind you, there’s always one club who wants to spoil the party, one money bags upstart and this time it’s St.Neots FC. Their chairman has already boasted “I see no reason why we won’t win the Southern League Division One Central.” Still at least St.Neots has a decent ground with supporters and it has already been penciled in as the annual Rebels away weekend in March.

You can fit the population of St Neots into Slough 4 times , in fact you can probably fit the combined populations of all the clubs in our league into Slough! Big fish in small pond? Sour grapes? Arrogance? Perhaps, but I’ve had enough of one man and his dog. Thankfully our fairy Godchairman Steve Easterbrook with lots of dedicated supporters has helped kick the club back to life and surely it can’t be long before we are back in the Premiership (Ryman or Southern Premiership that is).

Reading our forum I can only conclude that someone has dropped LSD into the Thames Valley water supply. A few friendlies and some people have worked themselves into a frothing internet frenzy of madness.

I can’t comment on new or old signings cos I didn’t bother with any friendlies apart from the Windsor one and that’s 90 minutes of my life I can’t ever get back. I forgot what fun Windsor can be by the castle with tourists enjoying the British summer by poking my eyes out with their oversized anti social umbrellas while taking pictures of paving stones, phone boxes and dog turds. Just what is it with people who think its ok to hog the whole pavement with their damn umbrellas, that force you into the road and drip the rain onto passers by? Wear a bloody hat. And I couldn’t even find Windsor and Eton station it’s been so swamped by shops. Surprise they haven’t shoved some on the railway tracks.

As for a new club. Well they’ve ditched the Eton along with all the money they owe to everyone and started again at the Combined Counties Premier League. There seems to be a lot of the same players, managers and a clubhouse sporting it’s traditional plastic cups over the pumps informing you that that beer is off today. The backdrop to Windsors ground is spectacular but I don’t miss going there, although with the players they’ve got you can see them gaining promotion at the first shout.

In Slough’s league there are some grounds I’ve never been before – newcomers Chalfont St Peter and Chertsey and of course Saint Newts. And some like AFC Hayes that I have visited enough to know that I don’t really fancy going back anytime soon.

So there will be beers, tears, some gut churning moments - usually because I’ve sampled some undercooked chips. Some matches your glad you were at, some bores, some games where it feels more like a chore, some shivering on the terraces, some frozen pitches. But let’s hope at the end of it we take one giant step up the footballing ladder.

The Evo-stik (Adhesives and Sealants) Southern League Division One Central 2011/12 season. Bring it on!

THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME

2011-04-27T06:45:00.000Z

Printed in the last home game of the season against Biggleswade Town Saturday 23^rd April 2011. On a boiling hot day we won 3-2 in front of 321 people and are in the play offs again.

From the top of my estate, Brighton and Hove Albion’s spectacular new stadium can be seen nestled in the South Downs. For a team that lost the old Goldstone ground to a dodgy politician, nearly went bust and relegated out of the league, had to play 70 miles away in Gillingham and then moved back to a soul destroying athletics stadium it’s been fifteen very long homeless years. Such adversity for any football fan makes the good times so much sweeter, and Brighton will be starting next season in their new ground as Division One champions – with 16,000 season tickets already sold.

I know Slough’s new ground won’t be as flash and the season ticket sales anywhere near as impressive but it will mean just as much to us Rebels who have had to endure over a decade of a nomadic existence as we tumbled down the leagues.

So the recent announcement by our chairman Steve Easterbrook that a full planning application will be submitted for the old Arbour Vale site in the next few months and we should be playing in Slough for the 2012/2013 season; well, we definitely raised a glass to that news!

It’s not just the new ground that I’m excited about, it’s the fact that after viewing quite a few lower league white elephants stuck out in the middle of nowhere, that we have found quite a central site in such a built up town.

I know it will be down to money but I hope the ground is something we can be proud of and enjoy going too. I know Steve and others behind the scenes have been visiting different grounds and models around this country and abroad. And they’ve listened to us big gobs that we need cover behind both goals to create some atmosphere. But I would like us to push the boat out and make it as green as the grass we play on.

Let’s make Dartford’s new ground, the world’s first custom-built eco-friendly football stadium, as a benchmark. Some Slough councilors visited and it really is something to aspire too. Features include a living green roof which keeps in the heat and provides a natural air filtration system. Solar panels provide electricity for the community, changing rooms, toilets and hot water storage cylinders. Reclaimed rainwater collected in two vast ponds are used for the loos and the pitch. The place is also heavily insulated, there’s under floor heating (be nice to have some under the terraces!) and low energy lightings. Slough are already going to be getting the green thumb up just by the fact of being so close to the town centre. Maybe there could be a link up with the local bus service to take people to the ground near kick off time with reduced entry for those producing a bus ticket. Or maybe for those of us planning a walking pub crawl to the ground, we could get a free beer in the clubhouse for drinking and not driving?! A clubhouse with some decent local sourced food being served up, washed down with some local real ale would be good and how about ditching all the plastic cups, plates etc that blight every football stadium. Some decent recycling areas wouldn’t go a miss and what about composting bins? Could this compost feed the vegetables grown for the clubhouse food? Northwich Victoria’s groundsman uses old dried tea bags to repair pitch damage! And is it windy enough for a wind turbine? This isn’t just green tinkering but makes economic sense, reducing waste and cutting bills.

I hope Arbour Vale is a bit more than another identikit ground. As one Dartford fan wrote “It's not often that a whole community can be proud of one, specific local initiative but in Princes Park we have something that is, not only truly exceptional, but a local development we can honestly be immensely proud of.”

That’s got to be something to aim for at Slough.

NO ROYAL PARDON

2011-04-20T06:56:00.002Z

Printed in the re-arranged Southern League Central Division game v Ashford Town Tuesday 19^th April 2011. We won 2-0 in front 261 and now need just 1 point from 2 games to get in the play offs.

Forget the wedding nonsense, the big news from the Royal Borough is that after 118 years of history Windsor and Eton Football Club are no more. Downed by debts of a staggering £283,000 the club folded a couple of weekends back and have been erased from the Southern Premier League. We’d heard it was bad but you’ve got to ask how a club that pays just a peppercorn rent to the Crown Estates had got itself in such a mess.

Windsor’s demise makes this season a non league financial car crash.

In theory financing a football club should be quite simple; don't spend more than you earn unless you've got a guaranteed safety net. But it’s not as black and white as that. It costs a lot of money to keep a club going, irrespective of wages. Rent, electricity, gas, water and other bills add up whatever league you play in. Cut the wage bill and the football suffers; crowds drop and that loss of income becomes a vicious circle.

Then there’s the other flip side of the coin as one Bridgwater fan pointed out. “There may be an element of sour grapes here, but we nearly got promotion to the Southern Premier, on allegedly a lower budget than most. We even slashed our playing budget due to cash flow problems, towards the end of the season. Now where do we find ourselves for cutting our cloth to fit? Windsor take one of the promotion places, despite paying wages they could never afford, Weston Super Mare (WSM) are reprieved in the Conference South due to other clubs doing much the same and instead of a very possible scenario where we could have been in the same division as WSM, we are two divisions apart. Then our manager leaves for WSM taking almost all the players with him. At least we still have a club still (we've gone bankrupt before in 1984), but we're struggling to get any sort of decent side together and crowds have dipped substantially. These things do have knock on effects for other clubs even if the links aren't direct.”

It’s high time for the football authorities to act. Sports Minister Hugh Robertson recently described football as the "worst run sport in the country." In their election manifesto, the Conservatives promised a "wide package of reform of football finance and governance". Although they’ve probably cut that along with everything else they can get their scissors too.

There’s currently a House of Commons enquiry into football. Lord Triesman, the former FA chairman, Graham Kelly, ex-chief executive, and Lord Burns, who conducted the last football review, explained how they all tried to get English football to change and why, due to entrenched vested interests, it didn’t happen. Triesman said on the issues which really matter and which the FA is responsible – financial wellbeing, ownership of clubs, treatment of fans, making the national team's success a priority – it has "backed out of regulating altogether." Football, and this might come as a surprise, has become dominated by the Premiership to the determent of everything else.

As for Windsor it looks like they will reforming a couple of leagues lower. Their new chairman Peter Stott promises to do things different this time around “The idea is to change the business model to create income streams that are not reliant on benefactors. So in the future for example, if you have got a 3G pitch and if we have got a gym in a stand, we are generating income. The bottom line is we either change or a few years down the line the next benefactor for whatever reason, dies, goes away or doesn’t want to know anymore and you are back to square one. It’s about trying to break that cycle.”

Despite our rivalries we wish them well and hope they can rise from the ashes and become a force again in regional football.

CHIP ON THEIR SHOULDER

2011-04-10T16:57:00.001Z

Published in the Southern League Central Division game v Northwood Saturday 9^th April 2011. We won 4-3 in front of 303 people and stay in the play offs.

You’d think when a club comes up with a way of getting more punters through the turnstiles, regular fans would be shaking their rattles in agreement. Unfortunately, it seems some supporters would rather have the terraces to themselves.

Despite being in the Conference Bath City always struggle too persuade the egg-ball loving townsfolk to give football a go. So they came up with an idea to try and get Bath's Polish community to come and watch the club. One of their directors said ‘'I have met a prominent member of the Polish community and he was enthusiastic about the idea because the community suffers from a lack of integration. We were already planning a substantial discount for Bath's student population so I proposed rolling in the outreach to the Polish community as well.” Bath fan and film director Ken Loach gave it the thumbs up saying 'It is a good idea, I hope they will chant in Polish.' With the nod from the Equality and Human Rights Commission the promotion paid off with Baths second biggest gate of the season, with more than 1,800 fans turning out to see City win 2-1. OK so the Polish people taking advantage of the deal was in single figures but there were 150 students. Others might have been attracted by the adverse national publicity the club attracted. Some supporters moaned and of course the Daily Mail was up to its usual rabid frothing indignation.

But one grumpy Grimsby Town fan really took the biscuit complaining to the Non League Paper. ‘I am half Scottish, and part Italian, as a minority nationality, I duly asked for my discount at the turnstiles. After all, should not ALL nationalities be treated equally and fairly. I was told ‘No, you’re not Polish’ by the turnstile operator.’ She then droned on to anyone who would listen, wrote to the club and the Equalities Commission. ‘Football is about equality from the top to the bottom – and I really don’t think this is helping matters.’ Get a bloody grip, it was a one off to try and get and get new fans supporting the club. Why not complain that OAP’s and students get a discount or that bloody kids get in free or for a quid. I’m surprised she even managed to get through the turnstiles with that massive chip on her shoulder.

I’ve seen one Barkingside fan (and there ain’t too many of them) letter complaining when the club offered free entry to one game to increase crowds. What about us season ticket holders he fumed (what all two of you?). At least I couldn’t see any complaints about Hitchin Towns Ladies Day where every woman that attended got in for nothing and received free entry for the raffle. In a crowd of 628, 126 were ladies and club secretary said "We are delighted. This sort of figure vindicates our strategy of reaching out to the broader community." Could this work at Slough or would some Rebels just use it as an excuse to practice a bit of cross dressing?

So Ms. Grumpy Grimsby if you’re gonna write letters of complaint then at least do it about something that stops people coming to games. You could start with England’s helpful decision to kick off against

Wales

at 3pm on a Saturday thank you very much. Mind you as watching England is usually about as entertaining as having your teeth smashed out with a sledgehammer, my cousin Mark said it just gave him more incentive to go and watch Slough play instead.

AWAY DAY BONANZA

2011-03-27T06:58:00.004Z

Printed in the Southern League Central Division game v Bedworth United Saturday 26^th March 2011. We won 2-1 in front of 253.

Some people walk, some cycle, but near the end of every season the more discerning Rebel will pick a town to stay en masse. This tradition dates back to, oh the Newport Isle of Wight game, where you couldn’t go down a street corner without seeing someone in amber and blue. Truro wasn’t as popular but Bury St Edmunds had plenty of supporters taking in the cathedral, curry houses and one or ten pubs.

This year it was the turn of Rugby for the annual away day bonanza. So straight after work I jumped on the train to join a few fellow Rebels who by the time I arrived had already ticked off the Coventry Transport Museum and quite a few local real ales. Infact Best Man was a walking real ale pub guide, sniffing out loads of Rugby’s best boozers.

Now the law of unintended consequences meant that the trip to Rugby finally gave me the kick up the back side to join the local gym. Why? Well Rugby, being one of only three clubs in our league with enough fans to form a supporter’s team, challenged us to a game and stupidly I said yes. After playing with a bunch of five year olds a few weeks before and nearly dying of an asthma attack I felt it was finally time to get my finger out and try and give Mr.Universe a run for his money.

Not that it helped much. Just whose idea was it to stick me at right back with a 20 year old sprinting past me every time? Luckily he couldn’t shoot for toffee, or was too busy tredding on various parts of our keepers Phil the Flags anatomy. Anyway apart from my humiliation, it was a great exercise in football fraternity and despite my efforts we somehow won the game on penalties before the walking wounded dragged ourselves to the football club bar. And what a friendly little club and town Rugby is.

But scratch beneath the surface and some people won’t go near the football club. Now I’ve tried to make sense of Rugbys football club history and I’m none the wiser. Liquidations, name changes and financial melt downs abound. What we did find out talking to some people in town, is that some would rather support neighbours Leamington than Rugby Town.

It seems with the takeover of FA Vase winning 50-year-old VS Rugby FC in 1999 by a new owner there were just too many changes for some supporters to swallow. Almost immediately he dumped of the name of VS Rugby and changed the kit and many saw that the junior Rugby club had taken over the senior one. Six years on some people have still not gone back to support the club.

With a £1.5 million football foundation the club has facilities to die for with deep covered terraces behind each goal, astro turf for community use, a smart clubhouse and even toilets that sparkled clean. But despite such a fantastic ground Rugby club were relegated last year

As an outsider, I can understand peoples passion, but it is a shame. From our point of view I wish their were more grounds and supporters like Rugby Town at our level of football although maybe one supporters game a season is enough for most of us creaking Rebels.

TRAVEL CARD

2011-03-21T09:40:00.001Z

Printed in the Southern League Central Divison game v North Greenford United on Saturday 19th March 2011. We won 2-1 in front of 267.

It was one of those perfect Saturdays; a timely reminder why I take the long trip from the south coast to watch Slough play. Greenford won’t mean a great deal to most people unless you are interested in the history of the chemical industry. But North Greenford tube was my final destination for a match Slough had to win to stop a run of four defeats on the bounce and some people calling for the manager’s head. The vista that greeted me as I stepped out the tube was one of industry and commerce but our local real ale detectives knew of a decent boozer by the canal. Rewind 100 years and The Black Horse Pub would have been nestled in farmland on the outskirts of London; now it was part of the Capitals urban sprawl with surroundings that would give the Slough Trading Estate a run for its money in the beauty stakes. Still, I really wasn’t expecting to be sitting by a big bay window in old coaching inn overlooking the Grand Union Canal. And was that really Anil swapping his coach duties for the canal boat trip of a lifetime for Slough supporters with Dave the Programme serenading his missus as he punted along the water? Nah, must have drunk to much beer. Still for an hour or two we could sup with fellow Rebels and look at the scenery before making our way to North Greenford United’s ground through 1930’s suburbia nestled on the edge of a wooded hill.

There are clubs in our league which smell of desperation and clinging on for dear hope. North Greenford wasn’t one of them. For sure their ground was spartan but the clubhouse was cheap and had a good buzz – one of those where many punters stay in the bar rather than watching the football.

I’d never been to Greenford before; to the ground or the town and that’s what I like about following the Rebels away. I’m not one for holidays and laying on the beach, so a kiss-me -quick fix of away days is enough wanderlust for me.

I reckon over the 33 years of support I’ve visited about 180 grounds. When I was young I boarded the supporters coach on the Farnham Road and went straight to our opponents ground. But as I got older we’d make long weekends of our northern trips in the Conference, going clubbing and eating curries in Manchester. Hitching to Kettering. Heading towards Wales when Telford was our destination. They were the prehistoric days before SAT NAVS, mobiles, websites – and in my cousin Marks case, any knowledge of maps or directions.

As we plummeted down the leagues, our current level of football has meant towns and cities being swapped for the more genial market towns and villages of the south.

Sitting in the market square of Hitchin waiting nervously for the play off game. Spending a romantic weekend without Ruben. Just me, Zoe and 30 other Rebel supporters in the picturesque Bury St.Edmunds. Beers in the old market town of Biggleswade. Slap up breakfast in Dulwich. That great trip to the Isle of Wight. The fantastic atmosphere in the Gravesend pub before our Trophy game. And just last weekend the visit to Rugby.

Most of these places aren’t going to be on anyone’s holiday destination list. But so what?

Despite Tesco’s, McDonalds, Starbucks etc trying to make everywhere look and taste the same, most places (bar maybe Stevenage) have enough history and higgidly-piggidlyness to make them different. So when you come out of that train station (if they’ve still got one) you are ready for another adventure, with binoculars ready to spot a pub.

Who really needs to go to the American mid west when you can traipse for miles through tumbleweed in search of Arlesey Football Club?

3G OR NOT 3G

2011-03-06T15:00:00.000Z

Printed in the Southern League Central Division match v Soham Town Rangers on Saturday 5th March 2011. We run 2-1 in front of 252.

Now being a gardener you would expect me to stick up for grass, but I’m beginning to wonder if a bit of the artificial stuff is the way forward. After another wave of bad weather everyone at Slough is really looking forward to late nights and a hectic end of season fight for the play offs. But does it have to be like this?
With the club slowly edging towards a return back to the borough wouldn’t it be better to install a 4G pitch at the new ground, guaranteeing the club fewer postponements and the pitch available for use seven days a week. The harsh financial reality is that lower league clubs are taking a battering. You just have to look over the river to see what’s happened to Windsor.
So what’s the problem?
Maidstone United, homeless for over twenty years, have been told by the FA that should they go ahead with fitting an artificial pitch at their new stadium, they will not be able to gain promotion or play matches at home in the FA Cup. But their owner reckons that the only viable way of the club returning home is be to have an artificial pitch which can be used 7 days a week all year round. Windsor’s new owner reckons the same.
The FA have banned artificial pitches in the Premier league, football league, and FA cup, although they are allowed in the Trophy and Vase. The Conference have also banned them and this led Durham City nearly folding after their sponsors pulled out when the club were told they couldn’t get promotion. In the glue sniff league Woodley Sports also play on plastic.
Now were not talking about crazy bouncing balls and gashed legs courtsery of the old style astro turfs. Technology has come along way. In any case, by the end of last season at Beaconsfield there wasn’t a blade of grass left on the pitch and at one match I nearly had an asthma attack there was so much dust.
After relaying the Wembley grass every other week, it now has artificial fibres meshed into the grass – although at a cost of £250,000 this might be a bit prohibitive for Slough.
Bob and Gary Breen run Breen Consultants, and Bob Breen is chairman of Burnham FC. They have been advising everyone from UEFA to the smaller clubs on the grass alternative. Gary explained the possible benefits: "It was an eye opener to see how football clubs are running. Fundamentally this club (Burnham) and many others haven't got any money. You look at the clubs' assets - the pitch. Selling it as an 11-a-side and seven-a-side artificial pitch you can easily sell it to 40,000 people, at the moment you are struggling to get a 1,000 on it. All of a sudden 40,000 people are using your bar, your changing rooms, your vending machines. That suddenly becomes a real sell commercially, we are putting people through here and it is about community. You can play on football turf 52 weeks of the year because you don't have to maintain and prepare it over the summer. Players can train on it over the summer and knees don't get knackered on the old ground so you can have a more limited squad and the local professional teams are not reluctant to send you their young stars because they know they won't get injured. It's really important that the FA and leagues set standards and make sure that they are maintained, it is a no brainer if it is done properly.”
Something needs to give in lower league football unless we want many more clubs to go to the wall. This could be part of the solution. At the very least the FA could look at the issues. Perhaps the problem is that they are all just addicted to grass.

THIS TOWN AIN'T BIG ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US

2011-02-13T15:33:00.000Z

Printed in the Southern Premier Central Division game v Aylesbury on Saturday 12th February 2011. We won 3-2 in front of 293 and are fourth in the league.

Just what hope would Slough have of ever returning home if there was another Slough team playing in the town. That’s the situation Aylesbury United find themselves in, after their owner kicked them out of their home in a hissy fit when he didn’t get the planning permission he craved. At the same time local another club were slowly climbing up the pyramid, doing up their ground and finally naming themselves Aylesbury FC in 2009. Having spoken to supporters on both sides, let’s just say that I don’t think many of them swap Christmas cards.
Worse was to follow for Aylesbury United last season – they were relegated from our league while Aylesbury FC took their place. When we visited on a freezing cold murky day in November, the new boys had the feel of a club with potential on a large housing estate on tap to try and persuade them to try out some lower league football. So does a town like Aylesbury with a population of 70,000 have the appetite to support two small non league sides? Or should they merge? Before you answer that just remember how we felt when one councilor suggested we marry Windsor; a suggestion that went down like a lead balloon.
Now I’m all for distinctive areas having their own football teams, as part of that essential glue that helps binds communities together. But I’m often amazed at that just how many non league sides represent a small town or even village. So who to support Erith Town or Erith and Belvedare? Biggleswade Town or Biggleswade United? Daventry Town or Daventry United. Marlow or Marlow United. In Eastbourne you have the choice between Borough, United and Town!
Some clubs are leagues apart such as Staines Town and Staines Lammas while others like Bedfont Town compete with Bedfont Sports and are so close you can sit on the dividing fence and watch two games at once. But if you’ve got a headache look away now.
Bedfont Town were playing Sunday league football in 1965 and had a season or two at Windsors ground as Bedfont Green. This season they moved to the Orchards after the previous occupants Bedfont went bust after one hundred and ten years of existence. Meanwhile Bedfont Sports who were playing Sunday league football just nine years ago are doing well in the Combined Counties League and boost excellent facilities. Outer London is notorious for small crowds so it seems insane that these two clubs are fighting over few supporters and resources. But as one Bedfont Town supporter told me the clubs just don’t get on.
What about those non league clubs suffering under the dominance of nearby footballing giants. Just how do you coax those supporters, many of whom would rather watch a game in the pub, than come and support their local team? Sutton Coldfield Town are just a few miles from Aston Villa. We drove pretty close to Coventry to get to Bedford Towns ground. Salford City struggle with not just Manchester City and United on their doorstep, but with a host of other clubs from all levels of the pyramid.
Gaining new supporters is the million dollar question, but a decent clubhouse offering cheap beer, good food and football on the TV helps. Embedding yourself in the local community, running numerous youth teams, letting season ticket holders for league clubs in cheaper, having a good FA Cup run – well they can all make a difference. Infact the Dutch non league teams seem to have solved it so it’s not impossible.
We can just thank our lucky stars that Slough United or Slough Centre FC no longer exist.

TAXING TIMES

2011-01-30T08:42:00.000Z

Printed in the Southern League Central Division game v Atherstone Town Saturday 29th January 2011. We won 3-0 in front of 208. Since the article was written it seems that Windsor and Eton FC have sadly folded.

Just like so many football clubs, Windsor and Eton’s future is in doubt thanks to money it owes to the taxman. With small crowds and little income, paying players and bonus they couldn’t afford and no rent from any homeless tenants, they have managed to saddle themselves with a staggering debt of £243,000.
However the reward for their financial mismanagement last season was promotion and many in the game question whether clubs gaining advantage by splashing out the cash that they haven’t got is fair. The other side of the coin are clubs like Atherstone Town who are pulling out of the Southern League at the end of this season. They told the league “Unfortunately, current economic circumstances mean that we are unable to continue with the level of costs required to maintain a football club at this level. We are in the same position that many clubs find themselves. Ironically, in terms of non-debt, we are in a comfortable position, but our capacity to raise income is very limited.” Obviously a very sensible financial decision looking at the long term interests of the club, but how would Slough supporters have reacted to news of voluntary relegation when we were in a right two and eight?
Some supporters are calling Windsor thieves for their unpaid tax bills but I’m sorry. I just can’t get upset about a £50,000 unpaid tax bill when our biggest corporations and businessman use every loophole and scheme at their disposal to get away with not paying tax.
Now tax is a funny thing. None of us like to pay it, but we love the NHS. Our schools to open. Bins collected. Street lights to work. Unfortunately you can’t have one without the other.
For the self employed, this Monday is the deadline for the return their self-assessment forms with fines waiting for those who miss it. But whilst people rush to get them in on time, rich corporations and individuals are getting away with avoiding £25 billion of tax every year by employing armies of lawyers and accountants to exploit legal loopholes and dodge what they owe. The government reckons that we’re all in this financial mess together. But while councils across the country are slashing budgets one of the biggest tax dodgers is the owner of Top Shop, Miss Selfridge, British Home Stores etc. Greedy Fatso Philip Green. This is also the man who is advising the government on how to make cuts. Come again? Yes, the same Philip Greedo who awarded himself £1.2 billion, the biggest paycheck in British corporate history, but who channeled it through a network of offshore accounts, via tax havens in Jersey and eventually to his wife’s Monaco bank account. The dodge saved Green, and cost the tax payer, close to £300 million. Which would pay the salaries of twenty thousand nurses.
So I’ve got a radical idea of how to make savings and it starts with Green paying is tax bill.
So what about Windsor. Is points deductions enough? Demotion? Insolvency and reforming at the bottom of the pyramid pile? It’s hard for the fans but sometimes we are our own worst enemies. Demanding success; not questioning that dodgy looking chairman who promises the earth, or at least a place in the football league. Windsor’s projected income this season is £73,000 yet their expenditure is £180,000 and the playing budget alone is £2,500 per week!
Just like the big Premiership clubs who threaten a European Super League everytime the FA don’t lay out the red carpet for them, the top bankers and tax dodgers threaten to grab their coats and go if we try to level the playing field. I’ll be more than happy to shut the door behind the lot of them.

THE REFEREE'S A STRIKER

2011-01-26T07:41:00.002Z

Printed in the Southern League Central Division match v Woodford United on Tuesday 25th January 2011. We drew 3-3 in front of 184 people.

I like a good old fashioned strike, been on a few picket lines and taken part in my fair share of direct action. Asking politely is easily ignored by the rich and powerful while taking to the streets sends out a message. The recent student demo hit the headlines because of the aggro at the end. If it had all gone peacefully, one media editor admitted, it would have got just a few seconds on the news. So the Scottish referee strike was an interesting one. Verbal attacks from players and managers; death threats from fans; and demands for an enquiry and reform of their trade from former Labour Home Secretary, now Celtic chairman, John Reid ratcheted up the pressure. Celtic have been attacking refereeing integrity in Scotland making out that there's an institutional bias against them. A line had been crossed and the refs decided they had had enough and downed whistles. We even had a bit of solidarity with some refs from other countries refusing to take their places.
So are Celtic, flexing their muscles complaining about the injustice of it all, just like the big Premiership clubs where top managers are always ready to whine when things don’t go their way? Like a small, spoilt child we must never forget that the world revolves around them.
Of course the media don’t help with the idiotic 24 hour sports news channels desperate to fill it with something. They would throw their hands up in despair if all they heard was managers saying ‘well the referee is only human, he made some mistakes, but not as many as my players who I thought acted in a disgraceful manner.’ Actually that would make news cos it’s so unusual. Instead we get the football highlights with fancy camera angles and slow motion replays followed by managers complaining about a referee's decision that cost them the game, should have been sent off, was never a foul. Or as former England manager Graham Taylor once said to a linesman, "Tell your mate, he's cost me my job". Our blame culture doesn’t help either. Well how about you lost cos your team was rubbish and you got your tactics wrong?
Why anyone would want to become a referee or linesman is beyond me and for that I take my bobble hat off to them. They get more abuse than estate agents, traffic wardens and bankers (well, maybe not bankers) While some argue they only do the job because they are just frustrated footballers who couldn’t make the grade, how about they just like being involved in football? Referees will make mistakes, and they will get things wrong. And this ain’t helped by players diving, feigning injury and chasing them around the pitch.
In most major sports the authority of the referee now goes largely unquestioned and they have multiple officials and assorted technology to help make the right decision. What they also have in common are natural pauses built into the pattern of the game, so looking at technology or asking another official becomes just another break.
But football is a passionate game and I wouldn’t want to see that diminished by stop-start technology. Yes emotions get out of hand, but maybe its time to dish out longer bans for managers and players that persistently argue. I know when Slough players do it leaves a bad taste in my mouth (or maybe that’s just the disgusting food being served up at football grounds?)
The alternative is that it won’t just be Scottish refs who have had enough and we will soon be contending with more than just the weather to see if our game is going ahead.

THE SECRET MILLIONAIRE

2011-01-21T08:17:00.002Z

Printed in the Southern League Central Division match v Arlesey Town Tuesday 18th January 2011. We lost 3-0 in front of 267.

It’s not often a millionaire comes up to where you work and hands over a cheque for seven and a half grand. But that’s what happened to me a few months back. It was part of the ‘The Secret Millionaire’, one of Channel 4’s flagship programmes where a millionaire goes undercover and looks for deserving charities and people to give their cash too. The programme works because it goes to the underbelly of Britain, pulls on the heart strings and has a happy tear-jerking ending.
So it was one sunny day I received a phone call from researchers who told me they were doing a programme about charities suffering under the recession. All very worthy but not exactly ‘Britain’s Got Talent’. To further their research we of course had to ‘network’ in a pub. I even got to have a few pints with the director and the brains behind ‘Spitting Image.’ The next call was to say that they would like to film at our garden project and would it be ok to bring along a volunteer who has depression, was sleeping in a camper van on the sea front – oh and he has a film crew following him around.
Now every small charity struggling to make ends meet dreams of a fairy god mother to turn up on their doorstep and offer them cash. So having watched previous series we immediately became suspicious. Could a secret millionaire really be coming to our rescue?
Over a hectic week, fifty hours of filming became fifty minutes. That long speech you had been rehearsing became one line. Don’t forget to look natural while they stick a camera in your face, and ask you to do something again and again. Oh, and act all surprised when all is revealed! As it turns out the mystery millionaire, Bradley Reback is a good bloke who is continuing to support us. He found that despite what the media would have us believe, that people down on their luck aren’t all scroungers and scum-bags but are human beings who can be warm and generous with the little they have. He told the cameras the next time someone asks him for 50p for a cup of tea he will stick his hand in his pocket.
This series has been a bit too much poor millionaire with all their problems, but the researchers do a great job uncovering people and small organisations that work hard in their communities on a shoestring. It is a snapshot into another Britain that goes under the radar for the majority of our media obsessed with those idiots in the jungle, premiership footballers and some toffs having a Royal wedding.
As for our little charity working with pupils who are failing at school offering them different skills and opportunities, getting a wide range of people; from school kids to refugees, older residents to people with learning difficulties, working together; well we are really proud of what we do, and primetime TV exposure has really helped raise our profile.
So will my five minutes of fame go to my head? Of course. Infact I’ve decided that Slough Town just aren’t classy enough for me now, and as our Chairman has declined my request for a corporate box (thanks, but that offer of a treehouse in the big beech tree by the M40 just wasn’t what I was after) I’m off to the Arsenal where my new found bling and prawn sandwich swallowing will really be appreciated.
* If you want to know more about where I work and a link to watch the programme go to www.seedybusiness.org (but please don’t ask me any gardening questions while I’m watching the football).

Weather Warning

2011-01-10T10:05:00.000Z

Printed in the Southern League Central Division game v Hitchin Town Saturday 8th January 2011. We drew 1-1 in front of biggest gate of the season, 346. Hitchin still top of the league and unbeaten this season. Slough are fourth.

I’ve given up on ever seeing a Christmas football match. With a winter so cold I’ve been sitting in a fridge to warm up, yet another postponement meant, along with hundreds of other clubs, Slough missed the Boxing Day bonus of crowds that are often the seasons best.
Now I am against a winter break – the British weather is just too unpredictable, and if we had two weeks off when the weather was mild and then the country went back into a deep freeze postponing games; well it would not only financially cripple clubs already on the edge, but send football fans into a Slough of football craving despond.
Luckily the two respected secretaries of Slough and Beaconsfield made a quick decision and re-arranged the Boxing Day game for a few days later when a lot of people were still off work and programmes wouldn’t have to be shredded. The second best crowd of the season saw the game with the most goals. Not that I saw any. How I laughed after deciding not to go with the twitter feed on my phone going into meltdown. Three down in 21 minutes eventually became 6-4 to Slough. There hasn’t been a comeback like that since we beat Stafford in the Conference and I roamed the streets looking for a cat to kick.
Even worse was to follow on New Years Day. Surely the league would put on a full fixture list just like the Ryman League? Oh no, another free Saturday and instead we played on the bank holiday Monday. The day when a lot of people are gearing them up for going back to work after an extended break.
There is one simple thing to tackle the inevitable congestion that comes with so many postponed games, and that is play more Tuesday night games earlier in the season. Just imagine; watching games in the barmy evenings of September, rather than freezing to death in February. The Slough manager Steve Bateman seems to agree “I just cannot understand this season in some respects. I spent the first five weeks of the season looking for games and now we’ve got to Christmas and we have this huge gap. It’s just beyond me that at the start of the season when there were dates available and everyone is full of optimism that we weren’t playing. Knowing what has happened in the last three years or so we don’t seem to have learned from it; it’s looking like it might need another extension to the season.” When asked if the club would write to the league to express their disappointment in the fixture list, Bateman responded: “I’m not sure there is any point. If they haven’t learned their lesson from last year they are never going to. What is obvious to the clubs, players and supporters never seems strikingly obvious to the powers that be.”
Well taking up the baton I decided to contact Jason Mills League Secretary of the Zamaretto League to find out their position. “With the last few season’s winter weather decimating fixtures, wouldn't it be prudent to have more Tuesday night fixtures at the beginning of the season when the weather is a lot kinder, you might even get a few more punters through the turnstiles? Be great if you could give me a quote to use.”
Mr.Mills sent a prompt but curt reply “Thanks for your email, however I am unable to offer you a quote for publication.”
So now I understand what our manager is saying about asking the league for a bit of common sense if that’s the response you get.
Watching football in this weather might be good for club shop Sues bobble hat sales but its no good for anyone else.

INTERVIEW WITH SLOUGH TOWN CHAIRMAN STEVE EASTERBROOK

2010-12-31T10:03:00.000Z

This was published in the Southern League Central Divison game v Beaconfield SYCOB on Thursday 30th December 2010. Slough won 6-4 after going 3-0 down in front of 297 disbelieving fans. And i bloody well missed it.

How do you think the club have progressed since you became chairman?

Steve: I would like to think that as a club we have now stabilised and are moving in the right direction. I believe that there is more openness within the club and that communication through out the club has improved. Whilst there have been and will be occasions where sensitive issues have had to be carefully managed I would like to think that we are getting the balance about right.

Is running a football club easier than running your own business?

Steve: Whilst there are many similarities in running a football club and running a business I do see fundamental differences between the objectives of a business and the objectives of a football club at our level. One of the objectives of a business can be to maximise shareholder wealth whereas the objectives of running Slough Town FC are different. The main stakeholders of Slough Town FC are the supporters and the fans and therefore many of the objectives of the club need to be aligned to those objectives. Whereas shareholders in companies require a monetary return for their investment in business, supporters require a return which is different which can include success on the pitch and in our case achieving an objective of returning Slough to where it belongs. Whether running a business or a club is easier I’m not sure, however running the club when we are winning is a hell of a lot easier than when we are losing!

It must be frustrating for you as it is for the fans with the slow pace on the proposed new ground?

Steve: I cannot begin to explain how frustrating this whole process has been and how on a few occasions its felt like 3 paces forward 6 back! However I believe we are at the point now where as a club we have done everything that has been asked of us and I would also like to think that we have conducted and presented ourselves in a professional manner. It is important to remember that our application was supported by all political parties and whilst at times we have moved slowly the council have always been very supportive.
We are at the stage now where a final feasibility report has been prepared for Paradigm Housing (the Housing Association) to consider. The recent ground survey has also been completed and the results are currently being analysed. Paradigm Housing will review the feasibility report and this will be presented to their board in January/early February. Assuming a positive outcome we then progress to the full planning application.

How can Slough avoid financial meltdown?

Steve: Slough should be able to avoid financial meltdown by ‘living within its means’. We should only spend money that we have and not borrow any monies that may jeopardise the stability of the club. It is important that we put in place income generating activities that not only benefit the club today but also allow the club to grow in the future. Recently we have launched the on line club shop which means we are can now sell club shirts and merchandise on line locally and internationally (however overseas sales are a bit slow!) and the 500 club continues to provide much needed funds. I applaud all the effort and support the club gets but I would urge everyone to personally promote the 500 club amongst friends, work colleagues and family. Just imagine how much money we would generate if we all managed to get 5 new entrants each!
It should also be noted that the club is indebted to the supporters trust for their continued support and financial contributions that they make throughout the year.

How can we get clubs live within their means?

Steve: Getting clubs to live within their means is very difficult and a more complex issue to resolve than it sounds. However I do believe that there should perhaps be better safety mechanisms in place to help prevent clubs from going bust and give supporters a bit more comfort. At times clubs are their own worst enemy whereby the dream is pursued at all costs.
One way to get clubs to live within their means is for the FA or a relevant body to perhaps set strict financial limits or guidelines for each league. The system at present appears to allow clubs to behave how they want almost irrespective of what they can afford and sometimes in conflict with what supporters want - putting clubs in jeopardy. For non league football I believe a system could be designed that includes player/team expense caps (based on league), clubs having to achieve at minimum breakeven and clubs having to maintain positive net assets. Such a system might not only enhance the integrity of the leagues but also offer some protection to clubs and its supporters.

Where ultimately would you like Slough to be in 10 years time?

Steve: Firstly the club needs to be back in Slough. Success for the first team is important however it is also imperative that we grow and develop youth football within the town. Whilst players of all abilities should have the opportunity to play football the club must be in a position to provide the expertise and coaching to develop the most talented footballers. We must then be capable of progressing these footballers through the reserve and first team and ultimately into professional football.
Assuming we are back in Slough I see no reason why we should not be in the Conference South League competing for promotion into the Conference.

PRIVATE FIFA-DOM

2010-12-12T09:49:00.000Z

Printed in the Southern League Central Division game v Bedfont Town Saturday 11th December 2010. After four straight victories we drew 1-1 in front of 221.

It probably sounds like sour grapes but FIFA and Russia are made for each other. A huge corrupt money laundering scam has just officially got into bed with a country described as a "virtual mafia state".
Arms trafficking, money laundering, personal enrichment, protection for gangsters, extortion and kickbacks, suitcases full of money and secret offshore bank accounts. All this is from Wiki-leaked secret diplomatic cables that paint a glowing portrait of Russia but could just as well describe FIFA.
A sting by a Sunday newspaper saw two of FIFA’s executive committee members suspended for asking for bribes. Then BBC Panorama's programme alleged bribes to members in access of $100 million. To get an idea of how FIFA operate, when Panorama accused FIFA member Issa Hayatou of massive bribery charges, FIFA said it would not investigate. However Hayatou is also a member of the International Olympic Committee who have asked the programme makers to pass on any evidence.
It was 12 years ago that the International Olympic Committee (IOC) suffered the revelation that some of its members had accepted bribes and gifts worth $1.2m from the Salt Lake City team bidding for the 2002 Winter Olympics. The corruption emerged because the media exposed it but unlike FIFA the IOC did not wave the allegations away or describe the programme as "an embarrassment". Instead it led to a complete overhaul of the IOC's rules and culture. Six members were expelled and there are now rules banning representatives of bidding cities from meeting individual members. We all know rules are broken and many believe there are accidental meetings between bidding cities and IOC members in airports all over the world, but it certainly beats the whole World Cup bidding process where countries prostitute themselves in the hope of a vote.
I’d have loved the World Cup to have gone to England. But I wouldn’t have loved the fact that getting the bid would have meant us weakening labour laws, bringing in new laws to ban ‘hijack’ marketing and changing tax laws so FIFA can keep all the cash. What sort of arrogant organisation can demand that? Infact FIFA have got themselves one hell of a deal. Every 4 years the worlds top athletes sign up for a FIFA tournament for which FIFA don’t pay them, in a country that foots the bill for holding the event and all the commercial revenue goes to FIFA tax free!
Fair enough if it the World Cup is destined to go to a new country or continent every four years. (But Qatar, really?) But make that clear on the packet before countries waste millions. With millions spent and hundreds of hours schmoozing by our government with the FA submitting a mass of technical and practical proposals including from 12 local authorities facing sports cuts from Cameron's government what did we get? Two crummy votes and no explanation why.
Some people blame the media for stirring up a hornets nest. Call me old fashioned but aren’t journalists there to put the spotlight on such corruption? Cameron was elected promising complete transparency in government, so surely he believes this must extend to the worlds footballing governing body?
It’s time to sack all the executives of FIFA and start again. Then at the very least put a time limited on how long each member can stand, make it illegal to lobby individual members, stop them dictating to countries to change their own laws. In effect stop everyone dancing to their tune and make FIFA fit for purpose for the 21st century.
* Andrew Jennings ‘Foul - The secret world of FIFA: bribes, vote rigging and ticket scandals (Harper Collins)

GAME PLAN

2010-11-17T08:04:00.003Z

Published in the Southern League Central Divison match v AFC Hayes on Tuesday 16th November 2010. We won 5-0 in front of 184.

I’ve been reading Jonathan Wilson’s ‘Inverting the Pyramid – the history of football tactics.’ It’s a meticulously researched piece of work, detailing not just the different formations that shaped football and focusing on those managers who pushed the boundaries, but also countries social histories, giving some explanation to where those tactics came from and why they arose. But reading it, I reckon apart from one or two sensational managers, most of the rest rely on a large slice of luck. The right players with the right attitudes. No long lists of injuries. The goal that hits a balloon and goes in. A misfiring striker at the mercy of the tabloids. How you deal with egos in the dressing room, a family bereavement, not getting the rub of the green and other football clichés. Of course tactics and the right players are important, but it is impossible to control all the external influences that makes a team great and a manager will have to deal with all these factors off the pitch. How this is dealt with properly is the sign of a good one.
Then there’s supporters demanding instant success, chairman worrying about relegation and financial oblivion and intense media speculation. Just who would want to be a top class manager?
These pressures are a little different eight leagues below the Premiership, but some things remain the same. Slough are on a very poor run of form that has seen us lose to bottom of the table teams. For supporters who endured a torrid time not so very long ago, it brings back memories of the old days again. So what to do? Sack all the players and coaching staff? The same ones that got us to the play off finals last season?
One of the things that makes football so interesting is that two people standing next to each other, watching the same game, can and probably will have a totally different take on the proceedings. This is even more stark when you watch a game as a neutral with mates who are supporting one team. You become the annoying bastard who points out that it wasn’t infact a stonewall penalty and (god forbid) the ref is having a good game.
Take the Rugby Town match. I thought we played some great football in the first half and Rugby supporters agreed, but some Slough fans thought we were terrible.
So should we have a go at our own players? Should we harass our manager because he obviously doesn’t know what he’s doing? (Luton fans sang this the other weekend when their manager made some substitutions. They were 3-1 up and were about to win their sixth game in seven!) The ref of course will also get abuse, because; well, they are the proverbial cat that we all like to kick when things aren’t going our way.
None of this is ever going to disappear – after all this passion is something that makes football what it is. Football is also bloody frustrating and brings out a peculiar short term memory condition, that has every game graded best/worst performance ever.
We know that watching football we can lose all perspective – you only have to listen to the plonkers on the football phone-ins to come to this conclusion. This is another reason it is so popular, you can forget all your worries for a while, and channel all your energy into something else. But in the heat of the moment, we can cross the line. I know I have.
But nowadays I’ll leave my shouting for getting behind my team, because I reckon that’s the best way to get players to perform and help Slough Town win games.

INSANITY LOOP

2010-11-07T10:33:00.000Z

Printed in the Southern League Central Division match v Rugby Town. Saturday 6th November 2010. We lost again, 3-1 in front of 266 people.

That well known football fanatic Albert Einstein famously said ‘Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.’ I was reminded of it when I heard the news that Wayne Rooney and his loveable ex vacuum cleaner agent had successfully bribed Manchester United into paying him £200,000 a week.
His timing was impeccable, coming in the same week in which the government announced massive cuts with thousands facing the dole queue thanks to the banker’s big gamble. It was also the week when Portsmouth nearly faced oblivion yet again, thanks to greedy owners and over paid players.
It was as if the world wide economic meltdown never happened.
Top footballers like top bankers now live in this untouchable bubble. While the government tells us ‘We are all in this together’ Britain’s top bosses have given themselves a 55% pay rise over the last year and bankers are getting ready for their Christmas bonus bonanza, while the rest of us turkeys face the chop. The average FTSE 100 chief executive now earns £4.9m a year - almost 200 times the average wage. What’s even more of a slap in the face is that it is these top bosses are the ones urging the Government to make deep cuts in jobs, services and welfare. Meanwhile many football fans facing an uncertain future will start to question whether they can really afford that match day ticket.
Our friends from over the river Windsor and Eton FC may go out of business because of a massive unpaid tax bill while Dundee have been docked 25 points for going into administration. You begin to wonder who would fail the FA’s ‘fit and proper’ test. ‘Hi, I’m a paedophile arms dealer hooked on crack?’ No problem. Just how many clubs will have to go to the wall before the football authorities do anything? Would Manchester United going into administration make someone sit up and listen?
Just like the government, the FA seems scared to take on the people who got us into such a mess. So it’s more government belly aching about benefit cheats, but strangely quiet about millionaire tax avoidance. It’s estimated that Britain loses £100 billion a year through tax dodging! Mind you, doing nothing is not surprising when you find out that the Cameron’s have a joint £30 million fortune, Chancellor Osborne a £4 million trust fund kept offshore to avoid tax and Clegg is the son of a millionaire banker.
The schools PE and sport budgets is cut, and as usual it is poorer students who will suffer. Massive cuts to local authority’s budgets will mean that sport, not a service councils are legally required to provide, will take a hit. Leisure centres, swimming pools, playing fields and the staff who run them easy are cost cutting fodder. But surely this is a false economy? As Steve Gates, the director of sports specialism at Bradford's Tong High School said. “The results and use of sport to help children improve their overall attainment has been remarkable.”
While the £9.3 billion Olympic Budget remains intact, you wonder what is the point of the Olympics if sport funding across the country is going to take a battering. Who will we have to compete in the future if the sports infrastructure is old and crumbling? What effect will it have when one of our major health challenges in society is obesity?
With so much money swimming around at the top of society, so much tax unpaid by the super rich, so many top footballers kissing the badges of the clubs they are helping to bankrupt, I scratch my head and wonder.
Am I missing something here or is everyone else insane?

PEACEHAVEN

2010-10-24T08:11:00.000Z

Printed in the Southern League Central Division match v Leighton Town. We lost 1-0 to a 90th minute goal in front of 244 pissed off supporters.

I couldn’t face another game against SuperMarlow and that stupid bear, so I decided to swap the Trophy for the Vase. Not that I could sell it to any of my mates to go and watch a team that is just eight promotions away from being in the Premiership. A couple of short bus rides and I found myself at Peacehaven and Telescombes tidy little ‘Sports Park’, facing Hamble Association in the first round of the FA Vase.
Now Peacehaven is a funny old place, surrounded on three sides by the South Downs and coming to an abrupt halt as the stunning cliff face crashes into the sea. The rows of squat bungalows just don’t really sit right. A few miles from Brighton it might as well be 300, although they’ve got the same MP as me. It’s only been a town since 1916 and was originally called New Anzac-on-Sea. This lasted less than a year before it was renamed Peacehaven. The town’s main claim to fame is an obelisk marking the Greenwich meridian time line. It’s also where Peter and the Test Tube Babies were born, and delighted the world with their abrasive brand of punk music. ‘Peacehaven Wild Kids’ isn’t a patch on Elvis Is Dead whose lyrical dexterity includes the lines ‘Elvis had a heart-attack, 'cos he got too bleedin' fat. He weighed nearly half a tonne, he looked more like a pregnant mum.’ Classic!
The football club were formed just a few years after the town and have been in the Sussex County League ever since. They finished runners up last season to big spending Whitehawk. This season big spending Crawley Down poached some of their best players with the promise of more money (some of them apparently on 150 a week). It’s depressing even at this level, that the football economics of the madhouse exist.
As for Peacehaven’s ground; well it’s not up to the standards for the ground regulation bureaucrats, despite enough covering for their crowds that barely reach three figures. They have laid the foundations for a seated stand, without which they will be relegated. Why they really need it is anyone’s guess. I counted about 90 at the game, many of whom seemed to be officials, friends and girlfriends of players.
The South Downs are being temporarily scared by a new sewage works being built behind the ground. I’m told it will disappear behind trees eventually and in return the club will get lots of artificial pitches for community use.
In the end Peacehaven progressed to the next round, and unlike the FA Trophy, which doesn’t seem to be very highly regarded for Conference clubs who just want to get back into the league, the FA Vase still retains its magic. Where village sides can get to play at Wembley and maybe push themselves up the footballing pyramid.
Peacehaven and Telescombe are just another part of the extensive football jigsaw across the country. The sheer amount of football clubs playing a decent level of football is just staggering. I can get to eight clubs who take part in the FA Cup on my all day Brighton bus pass (so instead I make the rational decision to spend over eight hours travelling to watch Slough play at Bedworth United!) The role of course that these little clubs play is immeasurable, where else do you get this mix of people mingling on first name terms? The social glue, the Big Society, the community hub. Whatever the jargon, while the Peacehavens of this world will probably never set the footballing world alight, they play an important role not just on the football pitch but in our communities as well.

THE BIG SOCIETY

2010-10-17T14:21:00.000Z

Printed in the FA Trophy 1st Qualifying round v Chippenham Town Saturday 16th October 2010. We drew 1-1 in front of 251.

OK, so I get the Governments ‘Big Society’ idea, even I don’t believe their reasons behind it. Maybe I get it because nowhere is the “Big Society” more evident than in sport. Every week thousands – maybe millions – of people play sports all organised in local communities and often affiliated to non-profit-making national organisations. You can see the Big Society in action at every Slough Town home game. Sure we’ve got a chairman who puts his hand in his pocket to keep us going, but he would be the first to acknowledge that without the people that give their time for free to run the Supporters Trust, be on the management committee, man the turnstiles, write and sell the programme, be a steward, collect wayward balls during games, walk stupidly long distances at the end of the season…well you get the picture.
You want something to happen? Then get involved to make sure it does. Simple. If that’s not the Big Society in action then I don’t know what is.
But sport is something people are willing to give up their free time and energy for because it’s something they enjoy. It is also something that can bring whole communities together. But that enjoyment is being eroded by expensive ticket prices, clubs going into administration or disappearing from the footballing map entirely.
During the World Cup, Supporters Direct - the government-backed initiative to encourage democratic, mutual ownership of football clubs - published a report. It found that for all its faults football remains of immense social value, and its clubs, when not falling into rack and ruin, are widely considered to be rallying points for civic pride. The report concludes that clubs should acknowledge the social role they play and adopt it as one of their core aims.
So perhaps we have to forget the leave-it-up-to you Big Society. If we are to sort out football finances then the FA needs to be leaned on by Big Government to stop so many idiots taking over our clubs. On a local level, councils helped by cash from the Football Foundation should work in partnership to build new facilities. You just need to look at how successful Dartford have been to show you what a really good partnership can achieve.
However, this is where we can see that the Big Society is just mutton dressed up as lamb (which isn’t really surprising as David Cameron apart from being minted comes from a PR background). Thanks to the bankers bail-out, who will still get their bonuses, it is we who have to pay the price and sport is an easy target. So it’s the end of free swimming lessons for under 16’s and over 60’s. The cancellation of a £25 million swimming pool refurbishment programme. No new school buildings will mean clapped out old school gyms will not be refurbished. Councils getting reduced funding will also mean local sport facilities will take a hit.
Of course we should get together to improve our communities – but run our local libraries, schools, leisure centres and rubbish services. Er, isn’t that what we pay local councils to do? Have people really got time to do all this? You won’t exactly get the same buzz as being involved in your local team as sorting out the local bin collection. Call me cynical but Big Society is just an opportunity to close services and push through more privatisation. Still I suppose as we fill in all the pot holes in our street with our uncollected rubbish we can at least have a football sing-song. How about ‘You’re not delivering services anymore.’ Or what about ‘tax top footballers wages and spend it on more sports facilities for all.’? I’m sure one of the lads behind the Slough goal could come up with a catchy tune for that one.

100% COMMUNITY OWNED

2010-10-03T08:45:00.001Z

Printed in the FA Trophy 1st round match v Marlow Saturday 2nd October 2010. We drew 2-2 in front of 221.

Lewes Football Club very nearly didn’t celebrate their 125 anniversary. Like so many others, they overstretched themselves and the taxman was ready to wield the axe. Their sensational climb from one man and his dog in the Isthmian League Division Three to the Conference National saw this small market town team up against ex-league clubs with full time players. These uneven odds weren’t helped by sacking their manager on promotion day with most of the winning team leaving. Then the Conference decreed petty ground officials moved in. No more drinking on the terraces, segregation, bag searches and bossed around by half witted security - it was a financial and PR disaster. They were relegated and then nearly demoted again last season. But those behind the scenes knew they needed to get not just their supporters but the whole of the local community back on side. They appointed a manager who is well known and respected – and then astonishingly, the chairman handed the club over to the supporters. Lewes became 100% community owned.
And this, claim Lewes fans, is where are they are different from other supporter run clubs “In the best traditions of the town we are making history. To date every football club that has found its way into the 100% control of the fans has done through bankruptcy or via a period of divisive, adversarial relations between owners and potential community owners. Not so at Lewes. This is a velvet revolution where everyone is on board and up for it.”
Lewes is no doubt a very unique place with its olde-worlde feel. They’ve got their own currency, the biggest bonfire celebrations in the country and so many independent shops it could be the 1950’s. And there’s no McDonalds. This place is posh! Where else could get away with charging 4.50 for a cheese toastie (just add the word pesto and watch the suckers flock in). The football club is where all clubs should be, in the middle of the town where it has been for 125 years. How many other institutions can claim to be in the same place, carrying out the same duties for that long?
So instead of making the tedious trip to Atherstone I decided to join in the 125th celebrations. Half jokingly they said wouldn’t it be great if 1,250 fans came. In the end it was 1,346. Despite being second from bottom crowds are up 81% on last season. Kids under 16 getting in for free is an obvious no brainer. The fact that you can drink all day on the fantastic terraces behind the goal , get to watch football amongst the politest supporters in the country – and get brownie points for looking after the kids. Well, who wouldn’t want to come? And with a population of just 16,000 it’s a stumble away from most people’s houses.
There’s a real buzz about the place again, no doubt helped by the copious amount of real ale being sunk. There’s a thriving youth team, excellent food (other football caterers take note) and the shirt sponsorship has been given away to charity.
Travelling to Lewes by bus, Brighton’s new ground is rising spectacularly on the edge of town. No doubt as my son Ruben gets older he will want to be part of that and the atmosphere thousands of people can generate. But non league football is what I feel most comfortable with (and I don’t include the Conference as non league anymore). A pint on the Dripping Pan terraces run and owned by the fans is always going to wet my appetite – and so it seems a good portion of Lewes people as well.

SUCCESS FOR NON LEAGUE DAY

2010-09-27T17:38:00.000Z

Printed in the Southern Central Division league match v Daventry Town on Saturday 25th September 2010. We lost 3-1 in front of 254.

What a simple but effective idea Non League Day was. Thanks to Friday night European qualifiers, the plan was to encourage those supporters of Premiership and Championship teams to go and watch their local club with the incentive of half price entry if they showed their season tickets. But did it work?
According to Wealdstone Chairman Howard Krais it did: ‘For us, Non League Day turned out to be a great success and we estimate we had 100 new people through the gate. We hope that they enjoyed the experience and will come back again. Wealdstone supporters worked hard to promote the game via forums, twitter and various websites but all the effort paid off and we are grateful to the people that thought up the idea of Non League Day.’
Sutton United’s crowd was up 200 with ‘Narrow the Angle’ blogger writing ‘Never was so much fun had in the name of a worthy cause. As soon as I walked into Gander Green Lane the place has everything you could want from a non-league ground. A club shop in a portacabin with a thick, lush hedge growing on top. Strange, curved terracing bending right the way behind the goal at the far end (Wikipedia says it was once used for 'racing' - not sure if they mean dogs, horses or humans). A giraffe for a mascot - well Sutton do play in yellow and brown! It's worth giving a better mention to these fans. They were such good value that I'd go and watch Sutton again any day just because it's a pleasure to take in a game with such lively and good-natured guys.’
Sutton are also encouraging first time visitors to contact them to tell them if there are any improvements they could make to their matchday arrangements (play games when no one else is might be one!)
Maidenhead United’s attendance was up by a third while Moneyfields FA Vase 5-2 victory against Farnborough North End more than doubled their previous week’s attendance. Camberley Town had their highest league crowd for a few years – 190, with one official commenting ‘There were a few people down there specifically because it was Non League Day. Not many but at this level every extra punter counts and hopefully they'll be coming back again. It was nice hearing some proper cheering when we scored rather than the polite clapping we usually get.’ Millwall pointed their fans in the direction of nearby Fisher FC, a former Conference club who recently folded and have risen again as a supporters run club in the Kent League. They had 60 extra through the gates. Reading Town had 9 league season ticket holders in attendance including as you would expect several from Reading FC but one from Hull City while Aston Villa fans swelled the league gate of Causeway v Coventry Sphinx by 25%! Villa’s web boards were buzzing afterwards. One said ‘Just back - Shepton Mallet 3 Bridport 5. Had a great day, bring on the next international break.’ While another said he was going to watch Boldmere St Michaels play Lutterworth Athletic in the FA Vase, because he was a choir-boy at the church 64 years ago ‘Only £3 for pensioners - I might become a regular next season.’
Other Villa fans went to Bromsgrove Sporting first ever ‘home’ match. Sporting take the place of one of our last season’s opponents and former Conference side Bromsgrove Rovers.
Of course you can’t keep everyone happy – one fan complained that the
Wimbourne Town burger he ate made him sick for two days.
With another round of International fixtures happening on Friday 9th October, let’s hope Non League Day will run and run.

CHANGING ENDS

2010-09-27T17:37:00.000Z

Printed in the Southern League Central Division game v Marlow Tuesday 14th September 2010. We lost 3-1 in front of 229 people.

‘Changing Ends’ is one of those books where you nod your head in agreement as you read the content and pretty much know the conclusion, but are glad you read it anyway to reaffirm your convictions. Mike Bayly was a lapsed Kidderminster supporter, bored of watching football on the TV, who while re-reading David Conn’s excellent book ‘The Beautiful Game’ chapter on Glossop North End makes him wonder if lower down the leagues there is still ‘a beautiful game’. He then spends the whole of last season travelling around the country from Colwyn Bay to Poole Town from South Shields to Stansfeld Oxford and Bermondsey Club to find out, meeting the people along the way that keep the clubs alive.
He encounters various ways of running clubs like Enfield Town, the first supporter owned one in the country, to ones born out of protest like FC United of Manchester, to Truro City who rely on one mans cash to power them through the pyramid. He talks to disgruntled supporters who’d had enough or just can’t afford Premiership football anymore. He travels to London APSA – the leading Asian non league side and speaks to the chairman about how to get Asian players to break through in greater numbers. He goes to Dudley Town, who are struggling to reclaim their former glories after their ground literally fell into a hole. Their vice-chair talks about how hard it is to attract crowds, how you must stay professional and how essential it is to have a group of volunteers to keep your club going. “I’m not sure why a family want to spend £100 rather than £10 at the football, when they could get a similar experience coming here…An extra 10 or 15 paying members of the public each week could make a massive difference. We even send out free tickets to schools and still can’t get interest, so we rely heavily on people who want to help out with their local side. We have a strong team here who help out with press reports, website development, washing the kit, and other things which may seem minor but are hugely significant in our day to day running. You cannot put a value on the services these people do. ”
As one Colwyn Bay supporter tells the author “There is a massive culture of watching football in the pub now, as if the terraces are recreated in the pub – it’s almost like ‘retail park’ football where you get everything under one roof. At some point you need to make a conscious decision whether you want to be part of that world or not.”
Mike writes “Blind optimism is the preserve of most football fans. Aside from a handful of clubs the season will be littered with let-down, bitterness and mediocrity, punctuated with the occasional semblance of glory.” But as he discovers and as most of already know, supporting clubs lower down the footballing pond, is much more than just about watching the football. A Halewsowen Town supporter, a team perpetually overshawoded by near neighbours West Brom, hits the non league nail on the head “A day out at the Hawthorns would cost you £50. At Halesowen you can get entrance to the ground, a few pints, a pie and a programme for under £20. Plus you can go on your own and are guaranteed to see people there you know. It’s more like a social club for the community and its fans.”

* Changing Ends by Mike Bayly is available online at www.blacklinepress.com or by sending a £15 cheque payble to Blackline Press, 15 Lister Road, Ipswich, IP1 5EQ

NON LEAGUE DAY

2010-08-31T19:55:00.000Z

Printed in the Southern League Central Division match v Uxbridge. Coming back from a festival I missed the game – only a 5-2 thriller in front of 315 people. Slough are second in the league.

For most of us watching today’s game, Non League Day won’t change our habits, but next Saturday (4th September) is a first in the footballing calendar. With no Premiership or Championship matches Non League Day is the chance to try and encourage supporters of bigger clubs to go and support their local non league team.

Lower league football clubs scratch their heads and try and come up with ideas to prise people away from wall to wall football on the TV and get more punters through the turnstiles. Slough are running with Target 400 games to increase our attendances with free tickets, kids for a quid and posters around town. At Barkingside they are offering half price entry for season tickets holders of league clubs (although this still led to one ‘loyal’ Barkingside supporter moaning about it in the Non League Paper, obviously happy with crowds of less than 100!)
So bobble hats off to QPR supporter and part-time Harrow Borough fan Jamie Doe, who started a Twitter and Facebook campaign suggesting the opportunity for 'professional' football supporters to go out and support their local team for one-day in the hope that price-comparison of watching the top-men will encourage them to go and watch the 'little-uns' more and more. Jamie said, "The idea for Non-League Day came to me after going to OPR's pre-season game at Tavistock a couple of weeks ago. The club and fans were made really welcome by the hosts and it was obvious how financially important the visit was to them. In the last year or so I've heard repeatedly how money is becoming really tight for non league clubs - the last time I went to watch Harrow they were about to hold a fundraising night to buy some new bulbs for the floodlights. Their plight cannot be unique so I wanted to start Non-League Day to try and give our local clubs a bit of publicity and a shot in the arm."
Maybe they wont throw their expensive season tickets in the bin and decide to watch non-league football instead, but there’s no reason why they shouldn’t be encouraged to show a little support for their smaller local brethren – many Chelsea supporters used to come and watch Slough play when Chelsea were away. Some may only go just the once, but others may start to go more regularly and every penny counts. Just look at the play off final against Chesham where lots of people came to support the Rebels for the first time in years.
Non League Day is now gathering momentum, backed by the Football Supporters Federation and with publicity from the BBC and various leading sports websites. They stress that this is not a protest movement, but an opportunity for fans to experience life at the other end of the football spectrum where many clubs are kept alive by the benevolence of hard working volunteers.
Many of us non league fans shake our heads in dismay at just how the Premiership can be awash with cash, while grassroots football struggle. Jamie’s simple but innovative way of tackling the problem. As he put it "With England playing the night before and the premier league and championship taking a week off, I urge all fans of the big clubs to get out and watch their local non-league team instead on Saturday 4th September. Given the current financial climate, clubs outside the football league need all the support they can get, so your presence at a game will be genuinely appreciated. With tickets and refreshments at a fraction of the cost, what's stopping you?"

http://www.nonleagueday.co.uk/

WE’RE JUST AS GOOD AS SWEDEN

2010-08-17T06:25:00.000Z

Printed in the first league game of the season v Barton Rovers Saturday 14th August 2010. We won 2-1 in front of 279 people.

I loved the World Cup. The fact that it was in Africa; the flowing, attacking football; the atmosphere. That the sun shined for once as we hunted exotic Brighton boozers to watch games like a bunch of sad ground hoppers.
I hated the World Cup. Too many defensive, tedious games, the fact that the last African team were so badly cheated out of getting to the semis. That Holland switched to karate in the final. That bloody annoying wasp drone/atmosphere destroying vuvuzela or the empty seats while South African fans said they couldn’t afford tickets. Actually forget all that, the thing that drove me round the bend was what a few seconds on a TV screen does to people. In a slough of despond a French supporter holds his head in his heads as his team lose. But wait, the cameras are on him, his face lights up and he’s all smiles. Listen you grinning idiot, you’re team are still going home; what’s to be happy about, the fact that you got two seconds of fame?
At least I suppose England could hide behind the French political inquisition, and the players wouldn’t find themselves questioned in a North Korean People’s Court for six hours. But what is it with all us knuckle-heads, that think England ever really have a cat in hells chance of winning the world cup again? One final appearance and three semis is the same record as Sweden’s.
Which is funny really cos Sky and the Premiership keep telling us it’s the best league in the world. So fantastic that even our top teams are millions of pounds in debt, and Portsmouth nearly went bust and will be lucky not be relegated again this season. I often think Sky Sports News would give North Korean News a run for its money in its impartiality and ignoring of anything that criticizes the product too much. Just sparkly teethed grinning news readers who repeat the same thing over and over. In one ‘exclusive’ interview they spoke to ex Portsmouth Chief Executive Peter Storrie who received £1.23 million in 2009. Storrie attacked those Portsmouth fans who had turned on him after all he done for the club. They of course neglected to chat to any Pompey fans about the disastrous financial melt-down he had overseen.
The FA’s ‘Blueprint for the Future of Football’ published in 1991, talked of a slimmed down 18-team top flight with promises that the national team would benefit. That pledge was swiftly ditched and English football finances became stacked in favour of the bigger clubs – whose managers are forever complaining that their players have to play internationals.
I don’t know why England are so crap but I do know we have an overblown self importance of ourselves when it comes to football. Yes, football plays an important part of our culture. Yes, there are more professional clubs here than anywhere else in Europe, possibly the world barring Brazil. But as Spain showed when it comes to playing it beautifully, we are the footballing equivalent of a dead donkey. Watching us play Algeria was worse than anything Slough dished up last season. I would have preferred to have even watched Windsor.
What was worse than getting beer over my head when Lampard ‘scored’ was having to sit beer stained on the beach, listening to Turks, Scots and a Brazilian remind me of the score and enjoying the fact that once again our over blown self-importance made us all look like complete doughnuts. Living in Brighton and still actively supporting Slough Town, I get enough ‘you must be joking’ comments without England heaping on the insults.

TO THE WIRE

2010-04-17T19:35:00.000Z

Published in the Southern League Midlands Division match v Aylesbury United. We won 5-1 in front of 261. With two games to go we are still fifth and if that stays the same will be in the play-offs. This is the last article on my blog till next season.

If I’m honest, I am always ready for the end of the season. I need a few months to recharge my batteries, enthusiasm, bank balance – and finally my season ticket for the next one ahead. And even a big gob like me eventually runs out of things to rant about. Whatever last twists and turns the season has too offer, it’s been a good one when you compare it to previous campaigns of unrelenting misery. But as we all know, when expectations are raised and we have spent the best part of the season in a play off position, it would be hard to take to see us fall at the last hurdle. I want to be involved in at least one more gut churning, nerve shredding, all or nothing battle to escape this level of football. Comparing the way we are run to so many clubs up and down the country I don’t think it will be long before we start to rise up the divisions. It will be a good day at the office when we don’t not outnumber home fans at away games or have to freeze in the cold at wind swept places I didn’t know existed.
It was strange enough at Bury at the weekend being outnumbered by at least 6 to 1, nearly double the biggest league gate we have played in front of this season (605 since you ask). That’s not to say there wasn’t a great turn out yet again of Rebel fans, with the more cultured of us making a weekend of it in a town so twee it makes Brighton seem like Basra. We’ve been lucky with our end of season games where some of the towns we are playing in are worth staying for more than ninety minutes. I’d sold the game to my girlfriend as a birthday trip of a life time; a lovely little Suffolk town with a ruined Abbey, more higgidly piggidly houses than you could shake a stick at, independent shops, a massive Saturday market and the smallest pub in the country; so small that even the combined forces of ever Windsor supporter would fill it up.
And oh what a co-incidence, Slough happened to playing there at the same time as we were staying! Not only that but I’d managed to book a hotel with a room so close I could smell the burgers cooking in the ground. Fourteen Slough supporters met later in the evening for a curry and agreed that despite the narrow defeat it was the best Slough had played in a long time. The only thing that left a bitter aftertaste in the beer we gulped, was the fact that if Sutton Coldfield were breathing down our necks before the game, they were practically in our trousers now.
It’s going to be anxious couple of days, and by the time you read this we would have to played Bromsgrove and hopefully have another 3 points on board. Today we face an Aylesbury side who were 3-2 up against second placed Hitchin last Saturday only to lose 4-3. Despite their lowly position they will be no push over’s and are desperate not to join their mates Aylesbury FC in the level below.
My brain is hurting for the permutations of the play-offs and how surrendering a two goal advantage to Sutton Coldfield in both games might seriously come home to haunt us.
Instead, let’s enjoy our last Saturday home game of the season. Look forward to more winning ways next season, a hung parliament, a decent World Cup, a baking hot summer and the news we all really want – when can we can start playing our home games in Slough again.

NEVER, NEVER LAND

2010-04-08T07:41:00.001Z

Printed in the Southern League Midlands Division match v Beaconsfield SYCOB Saturday 3rd April 2010. We won 3-1 in front of 283 people to keep us in the play off positions.

In the crazy world of football, those that live in financial Never Never land prosper, while those that try to keep a tight financial ship are penalized by not being able to compete.
Take a club like Rochdale, the leagues most unsuccessful team. But this season it’s different, currently top of League Two ‘the Dale’ are hoping for promotion for only the second time in their entire 103 year history, the last time being over forty years ago.
What’s more remarkable is that the club don’t have their own training facilities, have one of the lowest player budgets and are continually having to sell their best players to survive.
I went to Wembley a few seasons back to see Rochdale lose to Stockport County in the play off finals. Stockport are now in a right financial mess and bottom of Division One. Did they overstretch themselves to get promoted and so give themselves an unfair advantage over Rochdale?
What about second placed Notts County, who have been in financial turmoil all season. The owners who passed the leagues farcical fit and proper test didn’t seem to exist. Their goalkeeper Kasper Schmeichel, is reportedly being paid a staggering million pounds annually – probably more than Dale’s entire playing budget - while the club are millions in debt.
At the other end of the table Darlington are looking at Conference football next season. Their 25,500 state of the art stadium opened in 2003 and is an albatross round their neck with just a couple of thousand supporters echoing around the ground. It has been renamed seven times in seven years, they are on their third manager this season, and last season went into administration. Their ex chairman who built the ground and promised Darlington fans the Premiership and made home visits to any fans who dared criticise him, recently spent time inside for tax evasion after being stopped with £500,000 worth of cash in the boot of his car.
Compare those antics to the Rochdale chairman Chris Dunphy, a lifelong fan who took over four years ago. “There’s a club down the road from here loaded with £719 million of debt, but if our overdraft goes above £50,000 I’ve got the bank manager on the phone to me. What I’m not prepared to do is to bankrupt the club in order to fund promotion. We may have a smashing team to watch, but my priority is to keep us in business.” And Dunphy has harsh words for those that get themselves in a financial mess "My opinion is that when a club goes into receivership or liquidation, they should drop out of the league. I think it's grossly unfair when we go to places like Bradford City, who have wiped off debts of £38m and been bust twice, and the likes of Rotherham, who've been bust three times and wiped off their debts. It's absolutely scandalous. Leicester City - a fine example - had a new stadium built for £50m and then go bust. We've been very careful in balancing the books and we've languished at the bottom end of the Football League because of it."
Most sane football fans would like to see Rochdale go up this season as champions. That’s nothing to do with being patronising and everything to do with the fact that Dale are a proper run football club who have done things the right way, and are showing everyone that it can be done. For that alone they deserve promotion. As one Dale fan put it “We've spent 4 seasons building a team to win promotion and that’s why nobody hates us for being top, we've worked hard to be there.” Unlike Notts County who are spending money they haven’t got, to store up problems for the future in their bid for Never Never Land.

THE THREE MASCOTEERS!

2010-03-21T10:36:00.000Z

Printed in the Southern League Midlands Division match v Atherstone Town 20th March 2010. We drew 3-3 in front of 200 people. My son Ruben didn’t end up being a mascot cos he has chicken pox.

Football supporter’s loyalty is much abused by football owners. Supporters have an emotional attachment to the club they support, which often means they will put up with being ripped off by ticket prices, food and drink and ever changing replica tops; but there comes a point when even the most fanatical of supporter has had enough. Up to one in four Premier League season ticket holders are considering not renewing next season, according to the Football Fans' Inflation Index. Unsurprisingly Manchester United face the biggest potential exodus of season ticket holders with 15% giving up going to games entirely while another 44% only buying tickets when it suits them. This could cause serious problems for the Glazer’s who are facing supporters-led green-and-gold protests but banking on fans continuing to pass through the turnstiles to pay off the debts.
Since the Index began in January 2006 the cost of attending games has risen by 31.5 per cent. It now costs on average ninety quid to attend a Premiership game once the Index calculates essentials such as the cost of a gallon of petrol, a pint of lager, a bacon roll, a train fare, a match ticket, a replica shirt, pay-per-view cost and a programme.
Still, who cares about the Premiership cos what’s bad for them is an opportunity for lower league clubs. Today’s guest appearance on the bobbley Beaconsfield pitch will be my son, Ruben and two of his cousins Liam and Rafi. Rafi is from North London and I doubt is ever going to be a Slough Town fan, but the younger you can get children through the turnstiles the better. Ruben and Liam have both been mascots before and have notched up quite a few games between them. Mind you I’m waiting for the moment when Ruben questions my sanity of watching Slough when we live in Brighton when there is a perfectly good football club just down the bottom of our estate.
Once they grow out of the running-away phase, lower league football is the perfect place to take your kids. They can’t easily escape, their hardly like to be crushed by crowds, other people look out for them, there’s no dogs mess to fall in – and of course their vocabulary is widened! It’s also better for them to be involved in a shared communal experience than staring at a screen. Infact I reckon there should be a mascot for Slough every game. One supporter came up with the great idea of having a lucky dip draw at schools where the winner gets to be the mascot. We wouldn’t get the mascot money but we’d get more people through the gate, people who wouldn’t normally come.
At the age of four and still with serious ants in his pants, I would never dream of taking Ruben to a game where he had to sit still for 90 minutes. With Premiership crowds getting older, fatter, balder and more middle class, the lull of terraces and changing ends at half time should appeal to a lot more people and be affordable to most.
It’s also the younger supporters that start the songs and create some kind of atmosphere. Something that Jon Keen, from the Football Supporters' Federation, predicts is fast disappearing in the Premiership. He warns that the forty-something white-collar lot who do go are often simply too polite to generate the sort of electric atmosphere which used to be English football's hallmark. "The atmosphere is declining, if not dying, at many matches - it's not as vibrant as it used to be. And that is not what the television companies who fund our clubs want."
So, how about treating your offspring or junior relatives to the Slough Town mascot match day experience. It may not be the ‘Theatre of Dreams’ but the younger ones will have a great day out that won’t leave you eating bread and gruel for the rest of the month to pay for the privilege.

DEBT COLLECTORS

2010-03-10T11:26:00.001Z

Printed in the Southern League Midlands Division game v Leighton Town Tuesday 9th March 2010. We won 3-1 in front of 182.

How bad do things have to get that you want the football team you support to fold? Very bad, for the majority of Chester City supporters who were boycotting home games and praying the Conference would throw the club out of the league and into oblivion (which the Conference did). It was the only way they could get rid of their owners and run the club themselves even if it meant starting at the bottom of the pyramid pile.
What Chester fans actions make clear is that football clubs are not business in the same way that Woolworths or Northern Rock were businesses. People didn’t rally round to sort out those companies financial mess, not even the much loved Woolworths (people seemed to love the idea of Woolworths, but not the idea of shopping there). Football clubs should be run in a businesslike fashion (you know crazy things like just spending money they actually have) but no-one can pretend it’s a normal business. If a fan thinks their club charges too much or is rubbish on the pitch, they don’t go and support the club down the road.
Unfortunately such loyalty has a flip side that is ruthlessly exploited by owners as they know football fans put up with just about anything in their love for their club. Sometimes they get blinded by the good times, even though the good times can spell disaster. Just ask Portsmouth, who bbecame the 53 club to go into administration since the beginning of the Premiership.
Last weekend FC United of Manchester organized a Beyond the Debt rally. FC United formed after the Glazers took over Manchester United, are supporters owned and bill themselves as punk football. Speakers included respected journalist David Conn, of The Guardian, representatives from German Bundesliga club Schalke FC, and Supporters Direct, which represents football fans throughout the country. There was also delegations from Portsmouth, Chester City and Manchester United Supporters' Trust (Must). Must is campaigning for the removal of the Glazer family. Instead of red, expect to see green-and-gold scarves as supporters show their discontent with a family that has saddled one of the world’s most successful clubs with millions of debt. Meanwhile the Red Knights plan to buy Manchester United and in a very short space of time have over 120,000 members!
Speaking at the rally Andy Walsh, General Manager of FC United, said “Football is at a critical juncture, with the need for clear leadership and regulation never more evident. We aim to make the point that supporter ownership is the only way forward.”
The Glazers take a very different view. For them supporters are mere customers. In the small print of the recent bond issue, designed to temporarily alleviate the debt, they said ticket prices, could rise inexorably: the customers would always fork out whatever it took to see their heroes. That was the nature of football support.
And that’s where they have supporters by the balls. Unless Man United and other fans start boycotting clubs in their droves, will anything change? How would TV companies react if the protest groups from Liverpool and Man United manage to persuade the majority of supporters not to go to the next fixture but protest outside? An empty Anfield would send a powerful message to both the clubs owners and the football authorities.
Boycotting games is what Chester fans were driven too, with their lowest ever home gate in what eventually turned out to be their last ever match. They can take massive heart and encouragement from Aldershot, AFC Wimbledon, Newport County, Telford United, Leamington – all clubs that have risen from the ashes, and climbed up the pyramid.
It will be a lot of hard work, but it will put the football club back firmly where it belongs, run and owned by the supporters, and part of the community rather than some idiots plaything.

MISERY GUTS

2010-03-10T11:25:00.001Z

Printed in the Southern League Midlands Division game v Soham Town Rangers.
We won 2-0, attendance 227

The Slough Town forum has been busy of late with the question ‘To Moan or Not to Moan.’ Flying high and looking good for a play off place after season after season of utter despair it seems that some people are never happy. But apparently that’s nothing new. One supporter remembered going to Bishop Stortford in the early 70’s. Slough were a very successful team then yet their programme included an article in which home supporters suggested collective nouns appropriate for the supporters of various opposing teams. Ours was "a misery of Slough supporters".

This debate was prompted by Jamie Jarvis, Burnham’s manager, Slough boy and former player who has been putting the psychological boot in whenever he can. Talking about last weeks Burnham’s game (postponed of course – the ground was too wet this time, which at least makes a change from games being postponed because they are too hard or too white). Anyway, he said “If we can keep a clean sheet for 80 minutes their fans will get on their backs. I know what they’re like.” According to The Jarvis we also have the biggest budget in the league, and referees unfairly pick on him and his shrinking violet of players. With these sorts of mind games he’s destined to become a Premiership manager.

Slough manager Steve Bateman in his recent programme notes spoke about “expectations have certainly been raised, and I have no problem with that at all, it’s what motivates me to want to succeed.” To be fair, all clubs go through this. Take Eastbourne Borough whose manager has transformed a team playing in the Sussex County League to the Conference. But now, because this part time club, who has to travel the length of the country to play the likes of Barrow and Gateshead and play full time teams many of them ex league clubs, they aren’t doing so well and some supporters have been calling for his head! That’s gratitude for you.

So does Jarvis have a point? Perhaps; but some of the moaniest gits are also the ones that start the singing and get most behind the team. Oh the paradoxes of life! However the Slough Town choir seems to be a dwindling bunch. A lot have gone on to greater things (like becoming the Slough Town secretary) or moved to distant places (like St.Ives), become dads or lost the will to live during our ‘wilderness’ years.

And I know this will sound snobby, but I really have had enough of playing at this level. I know its where we deserve to be and no club has a God given right to be in any league, but I have had enough of visiting small towns without railway stations, that make Holloways Park look palatial. Where two men and a dog is a big crowd. It’s like we are in an FA Cup Preliminary Round feedback loop nightmare unable to get to the next round. I finally snapped at Atherstone and became one of those moany gits, Blame the weather, the lack of food at the ground, the football. After an eight hour round trip to hell "misery of Slough supporters" summed me up perfectly.

Our expectations have been seriously raised, and instead of relegation or extinction we have a real chance of a play off place this season and have been playing some enjoyable football. This winter has dragged on and postponements have played havoc with the games but I am really looking forward to the business end, or squeaky bum time, of the season. Let’s all get behind the team, get our vocal chords going, and help push our club onto promotion.

SORRY THE MATCH IS OFF

2010-03-04T10:55:00.001Z

Printed in the (re-arranged) Southern League Midland Division match v Chesham United Tuesday 2nd March 2010. We lost 3-1 in front of 286.

There’s only one possible subject for this programme and it’s the weather. Infact weather you will be reading this at all is pretty unlikely with the Siberian freeze set to continue and the Chesham home game probably off. Still, we all love to talk about the weather – too hot, too cold, to wet, to dry – but the last few weeks have given everyone, especially the 24 hour news channels, something to really get their teeth chattering mouths into.
Then it’s the who is to blame game. Residents moan that the council haven’t spent millions on snowmobiles and gritting small roads (these people will also be the first to complain that all of that will add to their council tax bills). My advice to them is to shut up, grab a shovel and brush and clear your paths and do your elderly neighbours while you’re at it.
The same old dreary business leaders complain that people aren’t risking life and limb to get to work and that millions is being lost on the economy although I’m pretty sure sales of wellies, salt, shovels and hot chocolate have rocketed.
Still, the species of humans I am most concerned with is the football supporter. When Premiership matches are called off you know it’s bad and like many other fellow suffers I have been like a junkie, looking for my football fix.
For the Marlow home game I had already travelled to Slough to do some errands for my dad. Just before midday the inevitable happened and I was told the game was off.
Not to be beaten me and Gary Big Lens headed to Horsham where we were told there would be a late pitch inspection. We got as far as the turnstiles, when a steward informed everyone the game was off. What’s worse is that these festive matches will often see the biggest crowds of the season, as people finally snap and need to escape the family home.
Last weekend was even worse. A blanket of snow and ice engulfed the whole country and every non league game was off apart from St.Stephens Borough in the Cornish League. A bit too far too travel even for me. People began to starve in the homes and eat the larger members of their families. Actually worse than having to eat Fat Cyril was finding myself shopping on a Saturday. While Club Shop Sue said her house had never been so clean, I was fighting in the aisles singing ‘you don’t know what you’re buying.’
Still, if you think it’s bad now, what about the freezing winter of 1963. The football season had to be extended by a month, the game between Airdrie and Stranraer was postponed a record 33 times and Halifax Town flooded their pitch then charged people to ice skate on it!
Actually one of the only real sane things I have heard was from an Inuit student living in London. The weather gets so bad in Greenland you know it will cause disruption. She was laughing about how we complain when buses are 10 minutes late, and said they start to worry after delays of 10 hours! As I sat in my work shed putting wood in the burner and drinking tea I thought of those words and knew that apart from bashing snow off the fruit cage there wasn’t any work I could do and that the world wouldn’t collapse because I couldn’t dig out any parsnips. Might as well just enjoy the winter wonderland and keep my frozen fingers crossed that I will see Slough play sometime this month.

LAST ORDERS

2010-02-14T08:39:00.000Z

Printed in the Southern League Midlands Division match v Sudbury Town Saturday 13th February 2010. We lost 1-0 in front of 238 people.

I blame my dad for my Slough Town addiction. Although he didn’t particularly like football, much preferring darts, he took me and my brother to our first Slough game -Slough schoolboys against Liverpool schoolboys in the FA Youth Cup final in front of over eight thousand people. I was 12 when he brought me my first ever Slough Town season ticket and he was our unofficial taxi for home games and supplemented my paper round money so I could get to away games. We even dragged him along to my son Ruben’s first ever football match (a Slough one of course) after assuring him that there wouldn’t be eight thousand people at the game this time.

Born in Slough in 1938, he spent his first few days in Upton workhouse until his aunt came for him and brought him up as her son. After school he joined the Merchant Navy and when he left he married my mum and shortly afterwards I was born quickly followed by my brother Spencer. He worked at Miller, Morris and Brookers for over 30 years, working his way up till he eventually became transport manager.

To say my dad liked a drink would be an understatement and the tales of his past endeavors always bought a smile to my face. He was also a very generous man – especially for stuff that wasn’t his to give away! I fondly remember the parties at our old house in Westfield Road, lodgers, uncles and plenty of people around. When he and my mum divorced he moved to 14 Alpha Street and that was to become his home for nearly 30 years. I moved in with him for a few years accompanied at times, by numerous waifs and strays that loved his company. And don’t tell me it was just co-incidence that the Alpha Arms Pub closed for over a year shortly after he left the street!

For the last 16 months of his life he moved into the new extra housing complex in Northampton Avenue. Before every ‘home’ game I would go and visit him, sort out his post, pay his bills and inevitably be sent on a Whisky run. He would drive me and my brother mad with his requests for immediate refreshment and could be a miserable old sod, but we all knew deep down he was a very decent man. One of my mates Joe Conti, was his particular favourite, ‘The Italian Stallion’ as he used to call him. Joe told me that he was just an all round nice bloke, who never did anyone any harm. How people rallied around when he was ill, to sort out his house in Alpha Street, to do his shopping, or the phone calls and texts I have received since his death, is a testament to that.

The drinking and smoking had taken its toil, and he wasn’t well, but could still get about on his electric wheelchair and loved his new home and all the staff. I’m gutted about his death, but happy in the knowledge that there was no lingering illness and that he died peacefully in his sleep. He didn’t leave many possessions, but that wasn’t who he was. He liked a laugh, a drink and I and a few others at today’s game will no doubt be nursing a hangover from yesterdays wake in the Herschel Arms.

Goodbye dad, I will miss you. And I’ll be raising a glass for the good times and memories I have of you at today’s game.

PAY UP POMPEY

2010-02-06T11:32:00.000Z

This article should have been printed in the home game v Hitchin Town 6th Feb 2010 but the game was called off because of a frozen pitch.

I’ve been scratching my head to try and work out just what those funny munchkin type creatures, known as the Glazers, actually brought to the Manchester United party. Since the Glazers takeover in May 2005, the once wealthy club are now £716 million in debt, ticket prices have nearly doubled while the Munch-Bunch have paid themselves nearly £23 million in ‘management and administration fees’. Now the bearded wonders are proposing to flog the training ground and then lease it back, just like Leeds United did during their financial collapse. The Glazer takeover led to the breakaway club FC United of Manchester, but those that stayed are also now beginning to protest, with banners and chants at the Burnley game and some supporters groups even asking for Alex Ferguson to resign in protest!
Over in Merseyside, Liverpool’s prospects aren’t much rosier. With a manager they can’t afford to sack and no sign of the promised new ground they are £350 million in debt. There could be even more serious financial repercussions if they don’t achieve their God given right to a Champions League place.
Down at the bottom, Portsmouth are in danger of being the first ever club in the Premiership to slip into administration. Goal keeper David James said “Who would have thought that playing in the Premier League, winning the FA Cup, and playing in Europe would bring such disaster? Unbelievably we are now paying the price for that success at Portsmouth. Late wage payments, severe debts, the threat of administration and relegation, ironically all of these problems can be traced back, in part, to our achievements. After we won the Cup I was told that one of our financial people predicted it would ruin us. They were right.”
Lower down the leagues, it is estimated that over half the clubs are technically insolvent, and picking up a copy of the Non League Paper is more like reading the Financial Times.
Lewes nearly paid for the price for reaching for the Conference stars, and it was only a last minute payment of nearly fifty grand to the taxman that recently stopped the club disappearing into oblivion. Oblivion was the fate of 130 year old Kings Lynn FC of the Unibond Premier who owed the taxman £67,000. Despite regular gates of over a thousand, they were relegated last season because of ground grading regulations and will next season be starting all over again as Lynn FC in the Eastern Counties League. Then there’s Chester City who are doing their best to make Portsmouth look well run.
You would hope that all this financial madness would galvanise the authorities to act and football clubs to start getting their houses in order. But as the list of clubs in trouble, entering administration or going bust ever lengthens you start to realize that those in charge of our football clubs are very much like the big bankers. A year on from screwing the world’s economy, those at the top are once again back to awarding themselves big bonuses. In football we have people like Portsmouth Chief Executive Peter Storrie who received £1.23 million in 2009, part of a trebling of pay and benefits for Portsmouth directors while the club sunk into debt.
As football supporters how long are we prepared to let this continue? To hand over our cash to football madmen who line their pockets, sell off our stadiums and grind football clubs into the ground? I want Man United or Liverpool to go bust in the hope that it will bring everyone to their senses and for football clubs to be seen as essential community assets that shouldn’t be messed with. I’m not holding my breath.

SUPPORT THE TRUST

2010-01-06T07:32:00.001Z

This was to have been printed in the Marlow league match programme but unsurprisingly the game was postponed due to the weather, and you start to wonder just when will we see our next game.

After a recent ‘home’ game one of our supporters asked me why the Slough Town Supporters Trust are still doing a bucket collection after games. With the club on the up, is the Trust needed any more? Personally, I think that Football Trusts are needed more than ever, and should be a welcome addition to any club. Already this season we have seen a big non league club Kings Lynn go to the wall, while in the Conference any number of clubs from Lewes to Weymouth to Chester City are sailing close to the wind. Surely it’s better for clubs to embrace supporters and have as many income streams as possible rather than relying on one person promising the earth?
I spoke to Mike Lightfoot, chair of the Supporters Trust and a Slough supporter for 30 years. Who else is on the Trust board?
Mike: “Alan Harding (travel and fund raising). Colin Atkins (Treasurer) Mark Hunter (Membership), Charlie Kirby, Sue Shiel, Gary House and Lional Chandler.”
What role do the Trust’s play in helping S.T.F.C ?
Mike “Me and Alan Harding are both members of the football clubs Management Committee, Sue Shiel is club shop manager and Lional Chandler is the main programme seller (Dave might dispute that!). Other Trust member’s also assist the club on match days doing the stewarding, looking after match day mascots, selling Golden Goal Tickets. The trust run the Golden goal and the 500 club on behalf of the football club, the money raised goes to support the running of the club. The trust also makes a contribution towards the cost of the training facilities at the Polish Association and has paid the fees so our Under 18 teams can play at Beaconsfield. We are also sponsors of the Slough Primary Schools Football League and have donated new football kit to two schools in Slough one of which, Marish Primary, made a successful visit to us a few weeks ago in their new kit. We also organise the annual sponsored walk which has raised £6740 over the last 3 years for the special care baby unit and the blood cancer unit both at Wexham Park Hospital. The last walk was in aid of Slough Age Concern. We hope to be making this donation at today’s game. The money for these walks is split between the three charities and the Trust.”
Where does the Trust get its money from?
Mike “The trust raises money in various ways, such as bucket collections, raffles, and Race Nights etc.”
So what are the benefits of being a Trust member?
Mike “Some of the benefits are subsidised coach travel which the trust organizes on behalf of those that wish to travel by coach to away matches and this includes free match postponement and accident insurance. A chance to have a say in how the trust is run. An opportunity to become an elected board member. We currently have 76 members and 5 Junior members.”
All Supporters Trust have a pivotal role to play in the health and success of their club, so get yourself along to the Trust hut at our next home game and become a member – and don’t forget to keep throwing your loose change into the collecting buckets on the way out. You will be supporting the long term future of Slough Town Football Club.

OFF THE RAILS

2009-12-15T20:19:00.003Z

The middle-aged Southampton supporter said it all, 'This is the first and last time you'll persuade me to come by train, next time I'm driving.' I'd just met up at Clapham Common with Old Windsor Rebel, Merton Rebel, and 'who we playing this week, I seem to have gone to their old ground' (now a Tesco's) - let's call him Clueless Rebel.
The platform was already packed with Southampton fans going to Northampton in the FA Cup. But just as we were about to board, we were told there was a signal failure and the train was cancelled. We decided to get the tube to Euston, but it being the weekend half the tube lines were closed and the Victoria line was so busy we had to queue just to get near the platform. When we got to Euston, train after train was cancelled. Oh this was fun, and bloody expensive fun at that. Eventually we got to Leighton but instead of an amble through the town and a sample of their pubs, we jumped in a cab to their clubhouse.
With the news dominated by the climate change talks in Copenhagen, you sometimes wonder why we can't get the simple things sorted that would make a big difference. Like a decent train service. Because there's no other way of putting it, but ours is crap.
Before every game, I walk from my estate on the outskirts of Brighton to my nearest rural-esque station. With no queues and a friendly guard, who informs me that today the Lewes to Victoria line is shut. Great. Lewes is one of those towns that is in a delightful time warp. I wouldn't want to live there, but I'm glad it exists. The other week i tried to buy a sandwich at the stations cafe but only had loose change for a coffee, and a credit card they wouldn't accept. The man singing opera behind the counter told us to pay the next time I was at the station! This is the family run v the corporate. No Tesco employee is ever going to offer that, for fear of decapitation followed by the sack.
As for the trains, despite getting a public subsidy the companies prime motive is profit for their shareholders. It's a bloody disaster; from expensive fares, to confusing tickets, to packed trains while first class carriages go empty, and the underground is no better. God knows, what it will be like for the Olympics.
It's not bloody rocket science, but if you are only going to get people out of their cars you have to be able a decent, cheap, reliable public transport system. Instead it's cheaper to fly to Newcastle than get the train. Here in Brighton the buses are brilliant if a little over priced. A lot of stops have an electronic board telling you how long you have to wait or you can text a number to find out. Compare that to Slough. And as for Slough train station, the whole place could do with sprucing up and employ a few more ticket sellers. Instead there are hundreds of bouncer like creatures ready to pounce on anyone daring to chance a free ride. Still, plans for a new station in Chalvey are a step in the right direction.
The thing is when it works, I like getting the train. An away trip with a load of Slough supporters is a good laugh. I can read my book, stare out of the window, and I like bumping into different football supporters. We even spotted two MK Don's fans. I was ready to give them a Franchise rant but they looked like they were on day release. Mind you, any more train journeys like that, and they will be making room for one more in their special home.

DUCK AND COVER

2009-12-06T10:33:00.002Z

Printed in the Southern League Midlands Division game v Bury Town Saturday 5th December 2009. We were top of the league beforehand, but lost 1-0 in front of 276.

Visiting Leighton Buzzard last Saturday to watch us put Aylesbury to the sword, bought back not so very distant memories of just how Slough supporters have been put through the mill during the past decade. Here we were facing another club that seriously gallen from grace; homeless, bottom of the league with just 3 points and shipping goals for fun. The last time I saw Slough play Aylesbury they thumped us 4-0 in front of over seven hundred people in March 2002. It was the season they were promoted back to the Ryman Premier, managed by the legendary Cliff Hercules.

Aylesbury, nicknamed 'The Ducks' due to the famous Aylesbury breed, have experienced some incredible highs over their long 112-year history but now are battling out a nomadic existence. In the summer of 2006 their former Chairman failed in his plans to covert their Buckingham Road grounds playing surface into a 3rd generation artificial surface, what he described as his 'last ditch' idea for creating a viable football club. He cut his ties, and when the ground lease expired Aylesbury United were made homeless. They now play 'home' matches some 20 miles away while their old ground sits idle.

Just as when Slough were at our lowest ebb and some suggested that we should cut our losses and merge, there is another club in Aylesbury playing in the town that would love to become the towns top dog. Last season Aylesbury FC were Aylesbury Vale. 3 years before that they were known as Haywood United, who themselves only came about in 2001 after a merger between Stocklake and Belgrave FC. The ambitious new Aylesbury approached the United chairman to offer to buy the club - so they could close them down! They contacted the Southern League to check the Ducks had a 'bond' in place; they rang Leighton Town Football Club to see if a 'ground share agreement' was in place, and tapped up members of the clubs committee for confidential information. At the beginning of this season, United's manager, their clubs main sponsor and most of the players then left for Aylesbury FC. As United's chairman Graham Read put it "The 'scheming and plotting' that's been going on by certain individuals has been totally underhand and delivered with sheer arrogance and total disrespect to the supporters, committee and the history of Aylesbury United Football Club."

As for Aylesbury FC, they are currently top of the Spartan South Midlands League Premier Division and reached the 4th Qualifying round of the FA Cup. While they are clearly ambitious, their morals could do with an MOT.

Slough supporters know from bitter experience, as you turn up each week to watch your team get thumped, as you reel from one crisis to another, that it's sometimes hard to see any future. But it will be the supporters that get Aylesbury United out of this mess, and after the game with Slough there was a well attended meeting with the manager, chairman and supporters who now run the club through 21st Century Ducks Supporters Trust. There was talk of plants to devlop a sports stadium at Aylesbury College, but also discussion about a groundshare with Aylesbury FC.

With a population of 70,000 is there room for two Aylesbury clubs? Only time will tell, but as the United chairman put it " The season ahead will be one of the most challenging in the history of Aylesbury United Football Club. But we will fight on, battle each battle with your support, will achieve and maintain our status as Aylesbury's senior respected football club." As Slough Town has shown, if everyone pulls together for the future of their club, then there is a future for the Ducks.

THE NAME GAME

2009-11-25T07:57:00.001Z

Printed in the Southern League Midlands Division match v Bedworth United. We won 2-0 in front of 241 spectators and are now second!

Only Newcastle United’s clown owner Mike Ashley could come up with such a crap re-branding. Forget St.James Park, Newcastle now play at the sportsdirect.com@St.James' Park Stadium. Doesn’t that just roll off the tongue; I can already hear Toon Army fans scratching their heads to try and incorporate it into songs.
Just as I hate it when old pub names are lost under some trendy new moniker, I can’t stand it when traditional football stadium names go the same way. Surely there’s other ways of raising sponsorship, or god forbid, reducing players wages so clubs don’t have to bow to the corporate hammer and squeeze every drop of cash out of everything.
York City went from Bootham Crescent to Kit Kat Crescent, Bournemouth’s Dean Court became the Fitness First Stadium, but is now looking for new sponsors. Everyone’s favourite football romantics Accrington Stanley played at the Crown Ground, until it was renamed the passion killing Interlink Express Stadium, then the Fraser Eagle Stadium until that company went bust. Dagenham and Redbridge’s Victoria Road has become quite the mouthfall – welcome to ‘the London Borough of Barking & Dagenham Stadium’. Witton Albion have played at the Bargain Booze Stadium, Cambridge United briefly played at the Trade Recruitment Stadium and are now at the R Costings Abbey Stadium, while Kettering's Rockingham Road has just been renamed Elgoods Brewery Arena. When Graham Westley took over as chairman/manager/god at Farnborough Town, amongst other things, he renamed the ground 'The Aimita Stadium' after his company, but as soon as the pratt left it was changed back to Cherrywood Road. Locals at Stocksbridge Park Steels delightfully named Bracken Moor Ground have refused to call it the Look Local stadium, much of the dismay of the sponsors the Look Local newspaper.
Sometimes it does work - sort of. Pontefract Collieries for some reason play at the Abstract Stadium, while Rugby Leagues Castleford Tigers play at the Jungle after former sponsor Jungle.com. When Argos bought the company, they severed all their links with the Tigers but the club decided to keep the name. The Oval, bastion of English cricket, is now "The Brit Oval", following a sponsorship deal with an insurance firm. Of course compared with American sports, British sponsorship is the epitome of subtlety. Thank god we haven’t yet got the Pizza Hut Park and or Dick's Sporting Goods Park!
Mind you, if renaming football stadiums is bad enough, what about renaming whole football clubs, which seems popular in Welsh football. The owner of TNS waged a war with the BBC to get them to read out Welsh Premier League results – nothing to do with the fact that it would have been free advertising for his company. TNS are now The New Saints, wherever that is. The oldest football club in Wales, Cefn Druids have already been renamed 3 times by different sponsors and are currently Elements Cefn Druids.
As for Newcastle, well the Newcastle United Supporters Trust summed up the new name perfectly “Newcastle is beginning to resemble one of Mr Ashley’s famous sales at Sports Direct - chaotic, cheap and a shambles. Now, as his latest slap in the face to the fans and the city, he wants to sell off the famous name of St James‘ Park. Everything he does now seems to be calculated to thumb a nose at his customers.”
If the idea of re-branding is to make more money, then it seems rather short sighted if you manage to alienate your customers – sorry football supporters – along the way. Maybe Ashley should have hooked up with some bath and toilet manufacturer and renamed St.James Park down-the-plughole.com?

HEART OF THE COMMUNITY

2009-11-23T09:27:00.000Z

Printed in the Southern League Midlands Division game v Bromsgrove Rovers Tuesday 17th November 2009. We won 3-2 in front of 209 people.

Me and Gary Big Lens were coming back from footie half-listening to Radio 5 football phone when a Rochdale fan rang the programme. He asked why his team weren’t being given a bit of a mention after they had gone to league leaders Bournemouth and won 4-0. Surely that deserved some recognition? The presenter couldn’t have been ruder and basically put the phone down. Didn’t that Rochdale fan know that there were hundreds of Man United ‘supporters’ waiting on the lines to tell the nation that they had seen Fergie picking his nose and complaining about referees? Or that Arsene Wenger was French and annoyed about something. That phone call summed up the massive hurdles all smaller clubs must face trying to get in the lime-light, win over new fans and get them through the turnstiles. There have been endless debates on how to do this, and complaints on every non league footie forum I have ever read about people not being interested. But I reckon you need a bit of imagination and a lot of dedication (and winning the odd game helps as well) to drag those Sky-eyed Premiership punters through the turnstiles.
One club got recognition for their efforts by winning the Football Foundation Community Club of the Year at the National Game Awards. UniBond Premier League side Marine, based in Crosby, Liverpool polled over 20 times the number of votes of its nearest rival by the readers of the Non League Paper. With last season’s average attendance of 268 they still managed to beat the likes of Wrexham and Oxford United, so they must be doing something right. But what? Well they promote the club in over 20 schools, let under 11s in for free with an adult and dish out free season tickets for primary school children. They stage community days at league matches and collected the most pairs of boots in the "Boots for Africa" appeal for which the Mariners received a separate award from Henkel Consumer Adhesives, the catchy named company that sponsors the Unibond League. Marine Community Development Officer Barry Lenton said, "It was an honour to be presented with the trophy on behalf of Marine and it vindicated all the work that we have done over the past six years in ensuring that Marine is at the heart of the community in Crosby."

Marine Chairman Paul Leary added, "This really is a fitting tribute to the work in the community carried out by Barry Lenton over a number of years. Since his appointment he has worked tirelessly with local schools and the media to promote Marine Football Club. His promotions and ideas have provided a lot of enjoyment and fun for many children and their parents visiting Marine some of whom have become regular supporters. This award inspires us to do more and Barry and I are to enter discussions with some special needs groups in the area to invite them to attend a number of games next season." All this promotion has also got themselves a young band supporters who also knock out the tunes - even managing to come up with songs about their leagues sponsors Henkel (which considering they produce adhesives and sealants is pretty impressive). Next stop is working with the local nuns to hold bucket collections at the ground. As one supporter put it “It’s important to have God on our side as we start the new season.”
God might help those that believe in him, but it’s obvious that Marine’s relentless hard work is the best way to achieve miracles and get the local population supporting their team.

WE DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’RE DOING

2009-11-11T10:25:00.000Z

Printed in the Southern League Midlands Division match v Rothwell Town. We beat the team second in the table 4-1 in front of 245 happy fans (ok, maybe not the 5 Rothwell fans that made the journey).

All football fans ask ourselves occasionally why do we bother. Spending time and money watching our team put us through agony. A long trip home after a dismal defeat in the freezing cold. I have had the football blues over years, but nothing compared to Match of the Day and One Show presenter Adrian Chiles. After reading his book ‘We don’t know what we’re doing’ which follows his team West Bromwich Albion during yet another relegation from the Premiership, you see that the love for his team is clearly doing him no good. At one point in his book Gordon Strachan complains bitterly about his miserable Match of the Day companion, but over time is dragged down to Chiles level!
But this book isn’t all star studied, but about the ordinary fan and the reason why people support a club. It’s more than just watching a football match. As Chiles points out, do you get the same outpouring of emotion at say the theatre? ‘I’m on coach number one of sixteen, and as we pull away from the Hawthorns, I fell suddenly, unashamedly, profoundly emotional. Being abroad one of this fleet fosters a special sense of belonging.’ One woman who works for a law firm has hardly missed a game in 40 years ‘People sometimes say I’m mad, but what do they get excited about? Shopping?’ The book is built round these characters. The bloke who drags himself from his hospital bed to games. The couple who name their son Albion. The football mad Vicar. Chiles tells of one Albion supporters who now lives in a little fishing village in New Zealand. ‘I was really passionate. It was a massive part of my life. Life used to be dictated by the Albion schedule. My wife used to get really fed up with it. She’s happier now. I’m happier now – my life is better. It’s better because this is a great place to live but it’s also because I’m so far away from the Albion.’ Another supporter who tells him how he came late to the Albion, incurs the wrath of one puzzled fan. ‘I don’t know how he let it happen to him. It’s like smoking, if you start when you’re a kid, fair enough. But if you start when you are order, we’ll you know the dangers…’
As he watches Albion lose again, one of his non footballing friends he has dragged along, asks him ‘why do you put yourself through this.’ Chiles even enlists a psychiatrist to see if football fans are in fact insane. A question we have all been asked by our partners or people who don’t like football. But reading this book, with all the banter, friendships, day outs, also gives the answer to that question. Infact his non footballing mate commented on the community spirit. “I was jealous of that. Because it was just like extended family, and more than that, there’s a huge range of people you meet. And that’s a very rare opportunity to meet different people. To have those kind of relationships, I’m genuinely jealous of that.”
If you’re looking for a present for someone this Christmas then I totally recommend this book.

POST SERVICE APOCALYPSE

2009-11-04T15:34:00.000Z

Printed in the Southern League Midland Division match v Woodford
United 3rd November 2009. We won 1-0, attendance 206.

Legendary Slough Town goal scorer Ian Hodge was one. Quite a few of
our die-hard supporters are too. Alan Johnson rose from the Slough
ranks to union official to Home Secretary. We are talking about postal
workers, and how their selfish actions are bringing the country to its
knees; infact civilisation is about to fall because we have to wait a
few extra days for our letters. Of course the fact that the universal
post service is cheap and reliable and that people in the countryside
get the same service as those in inner cities means nothing to those
that want to parcel it up to the highest bidder. Royal Mail and the
government want to break the union, cut peoples pay and conditions and
herald in a privatised, fragmented service. Just think of the
unreliable Slough bus service or the over-priced trains if you want to
see what prospects are in store if private companies take over the
Royal Mail.
Slough supporter and postie Damian told me “Royal Mail recently
announced that mail traffic was due to fall by 10% a year and to
counter this they were going to engage in a period of “modernization”.
The reality of this was that were going to lay off 30% of the
workforce, freeze pay indefinitely and engage in a period of Executive
Action which would see a posties workload increase between 30-40%. All
of this bypassed a previously negotiated agreement with the
Communications Workers Union.
Most of the general public seems to take the view that as they see
postmen in the bookies, on the golf course or in the pub every weekday
afternoon they don’t really work very hard anyway. Bear in mind that
most postmen start work between 5 and 6 in the morning and have to
work in all weathers usually without any sort of break. The nature of
the business is such that there are days which are very busy and days
which are quiet.
Not a single one of us wants to go on strike and lose money but
neither do we want to be exploited for poor wages while the guys at
the top continue to earn massive bonuses for what, they keep telling
us, is a failing company. A company in so much trouble that they
managed to make profits last year of ONLY £321 million.
Of course really Royal Mail is worried about the massive self
inflicted pension deficit not to mention their desperation to sell off
the loss making deliveries sector to the highest bidder. So for
Modernization read Privatisation. Try and send a birthday card to your
relatives in Inverness for 39p then.”
We hear never ending talk of broken Britain and the break down of the
family – then work the longest hours in Europe so people never get to
see their kids. Other political parties with their millionaire backers
and even richer MPs, claim we are all in this recession together.
Yeah, right. While 3,500 post offices are closed across the country
and public services must be cut to pay the price for banker’s greed,
bankers are once again giving themselves more bonuses this Christmas.
As for the boss of Royal Mail Adam Crozier, he has bumped up his own
wages from around £114,000 a year when he started in 2003 to over a
million quid today! As for the striking Slough Town posties; well the
least we can do is buy them a pre match pint to show our support and
let them know that a decent, universal postal service where posties
aren’t treated like dirt is something worth striking for.

UNTIL THE NEXT TIME

2009-10-25T15:31:00.000Z

Printed in the Southern League Midlands Division league match v
Stourport Swifts Saturday 24th October 2009. We won 3-2 in front 244
people and are six in the league.

Isn’t it slightly odd that just as the FA Cup comes into peoples
radars, the majority of teams who have competed in the competition are
already out. By the 1st round proper there has already been six rounds
and 75 per cent of the clubs knocked out.
As for Slough after five games spanning three months it was our turn
to bid farewell, with the final still eight months away! Still, I
don’t know about you, but our FA Cup run put a smile back on my face
after seasons of pulling my hair out.
I know most big clubs don’t care about the FA Cup anymore, but for us
lower league lifeforms scutterling along at the bottom of the pile
looking for crumbs of glory and some extra cash, it’s really something
to savor. From Tring to Tooting it’s been a good fun and there really
is something special about the cup that draws in bigger crowds and
gets the adrenalin pumping. A last gasp equalizer against Hemel then
our second half backs against the wall in the replay, followed by a
stroll against Concord Rangers only really livened up by their manager
who seriously needs some anger management lessons.
Then that game at Tooting on a sunny October day where we could start
dreaming that we were just two wins away from a possible game Leeds
United or Charlton.
Being in London I managed to drag quite a few mates along, some of us
sampling the excellent Croydon tram system that really should be
rolled out across the country.
Tooting’s ground is impressive, although I wonder if it was designed
by someone who lives in Southern Italy. It’s high stands and no back
cover for the stands behind the goal doesn’t seem to offer much
resistance to the English winter. With only one turnstile open and a
impressive Slough turn-out, the crowd snaked into the car park, and as
it turned out Tooting’s biggest ever FA Cup attendance at their new
ground. Helped of course by no Premiership games and the England game
live exclusively on your computer screen (and we won’t mention a
certain person who went to the old ground, now a housing estate,
despite the fact that he has already been to the new ground before!).
In the end my mates said it was a great game, the eight year old we
dragged along saying it was the best he had ever seen as Slough
recovered from being 3-0 down to battering the Tooting goal looking
for an equalizer. A victory would have got us Conference sea-siders
Eastborne Borough at home, but we have to wait till next August before
the journey starts again.
I’m finding it hard to muster the old vocal chords at some league
games, and our trips to Hemel Hempstead and Tooting and Mitcham’s
grounds reminded me, if I needed reminding, how I want to support
Slough at the next level up. But we know we have a long way to go if
we are to realize that dream. That FA Cup money will help, and some of
our old supporters will have hopefully once again found a taste for
the club, as we push for promotion this season. I also, maybe rather
selfishly have had enough of the far flung corners of the Southern
League, and want us back where we belong – in the Ryman League.

THE BLACK SWAN

2009-10-05T16:07:00.001Z

Printed in the FA Trophy Preliminary Qualifying round v Mangotsfield
United Sunday 4th October 2009. 1-1 draw in front of 241.

I’m reading a book at the moment called ‘The Black Swan’. It’s about
events or inventions that change the world that no one could have
predicted. The term Black Swan comes from the 17th century European
assumption that 'All swans are white'. So a black swan was a symbol
for something that was impossible or could not exist – until black
swans were ‘discovered’ in Western Australia! For Black Swans think of
the rise of the Internet, the personal computer, World War I and the
September 11th attacks. Infact the books author Nassim Nicholas Taleb
regards almost all major scientific discoveries, historical events,
and artistic accomplishments as "black swans". So while economists,
bankers, social scientists and newspaper columnists try to predict the
future, it is inevitably wrong, as there are so many variables and
unknown unknowns that throw our predictions off course.
I doubt Taleb would bother attaching his theory to football, but I
hope that one day a Black Swan event destroys the predictability of
the Premiership, such as a meteor hitting Stamford Bridge! But I
reckon there are many Black Swan football moments. Take Exeter City
drawing Manchester United in the FA Cup. The club had started to
rebuild after spoon bender and all round plonker Uri Geller took the
club to the brink. But they never could have forecast getting Man
United in the cup – let alone drawing there and taking them back to St
James Park for a replay. The cash completely cleared their debts and
now they are in Division One. As for Slough’s Black Swan moment. Well
what would have happened if we had beat Yeading in the FA Cup and
played Newcastle United at ‘home’?
I saw Mangotsfield watch their Black Swan footie moment slip away a
few years back. After a Friday night party in Bristol a few of us
decided to catch their FA Cup 4th qualifying match at home to Lewes.
The village of Mangotsfield felt like another suburb of sprawling
Bristol and the game ended in stalemate. I managed to get myself a
space on the Lewes supporters coach, but before it left everyone
pilled into ‘the Mango’s’ clubhouse to watch the draw for the next
round; the cheers were loud as the winners would play Stoke City.
Quite a few of us went to the replay, kick off was delayed because of
the crowds and Lewes won. They eventually lost to Stoke 2-0, but it
really put the club on the map, the cup money helped them build an
impressive stand and they picked up a terrace load of new supporters.
Maybe there are Mangotsfield fans wondering ‘with if’ it was they who
had played Stoke. Would they now be playing at the same level as
Slough or would they have reached the Conference like Lewes?
It’s harder for a Black Swan footie moments to happen in the Trophy,
but a good cup run wouldn’t go amiss. The extra cash would keep the
Slough Town finances ticking over and well, it’s only eight rounds
before we reach the semi finals! Slough Town playing at Wembley in a
Cup Final would be something no one would have predicted at the
beginning of the season, but we have done it before!

CAMPAIGN FOR REAL MUGS

2009-09-28T11:30:00.000Z

Printed in the FA Cup 2nd Qualifying round match v Concord Rangers.
Saturday 26th September 2009. We won 2-0 – we haven’t lost now for
nine games – in front of 279 people.

I couldn’t make the trip to Tring for our FA Cup Preliminary round
game (no one who supports a league club believes the FA Cup has
already started). I had been to Tring’s ground a long time ago for an
FA Cup replay with Aylesbury. We won in extra time in a blizzard and
got to play Orient in the 1st Round. My mum also took a load of my
mates to Tring museum – all that sticks in my mind was the flea
display. The fact that someone had painstakingly dressed up fleas in
clothes seemed to suggest that there wasn’t an awful lot to do in
Tring.
Apart from another pleasing performance I heard high praise for their
50p cups of tea that also came in proper mugs. Watching Sussex clubs
with crowds that are often only in double figures I have also sampled
the proper mug of tea (yes, I do sometimes drink tea at games!). And I
think at our level it’s something a lot more clubs should do. Most of
the food served up at grounds is not really fit for humans, and I hate
the fact that when it has been devoured, the cups and plates are
tossed in a bin.
Before a certain creepy clown rode into town, I remember eating out at
Wimpey (and who can forget the Golden Egg!) with proper plates and
cups. OK, some poor sod had a lot of washing up to do, but at least
now we have dish washers. However, it wasn’t long before all burger
chains had throwaway plates, cups and forks etc – is this really
necessary? We produce far too much waste that ends up in landfills no
one wants or burnt in incinerators that no one wants.
So, I hereby announce the launch of the Campaign for Real Mugs.
But let’s not stop there.
While Slough fans were enjoying a proper cuppa at Tring, I was at the
Shambala festival, a brilliant event that is also trying to minimize
its impact on the environment. For example, instead of a throwaway
plastic cup with every pint, each one of these was made out of corn
and so compostable. A good idea, but still a lot of waste. Much better
was the action taken at the Inland Waterways National Festival and
Boat Show in Leicester, which did its best to stop the event being
littered with rubbish. It charged a deposit on your plastic pint glass
every time you had a beer – so encouraging everyone to get their old
beer cups refilled.
If we do get a new ground how about encouraging people to bring their
own tankards to fill up. A Slough Town tankard no doubt sold by that
ever resourceful club shop manager.
Next step: What about giant composters at the new ground for all the
food waste. This compost would feed the vegetable patch that grows
some of the salad and veg that is served up in the meals before the
games. If the food is decent and cheap, people will get to the game
early to stuff their faces – which can only be good for drink sales.
And once you’ve eaten and drunk at the clubhouse, what shall we do
with all the human waste.
Well, what about the clubs very own compost toilet?!!

WOULD YOU LIKE LIES WITH THAT, SIR?

2009-09-13T07:57:00.001Z

I wrote this article for the Biggleswade Town programme, but the club
decided they couldn’t print it. Chair Steve Easterbrook told me “For
various reasons the club have taken the view that it may not be in the
clubs interest to print the article due to its sensitive nature.
Whilst not agreeing or disagreeing with how McDonalds operate the club
does acknowledge that they are a major sponsor of The FA, sporting
events and of local community football. Our chances of obtaining FA
Charter Standard Club Status would be severely compromised by us
providing a platform for an article about one of footballs biggest
sponsors. That’s not to say that as a club we necessarily have to
agree/support any of the sponsors of the league. I am all for free
speech but perhaps in this case, as a club, it would be sensible and
wiser not to print the article in the programme. We are fighting
enough battles at the moment!”
I told Steve I don’t agree with the decision, but respect his views,
and certainly don’t want to jeopardize the club getting charter club
status and all the grants that come with it.
However, McDonalds don’t sponsor my blog, so here’s the article.

Ever since I was arrested for handing out ‘What’s Wrong with
McDonalds’ leaflets outside their Slough store I have had a soft spot
for Ronald. The copper was in a bad mood and nicked me for
‘obstruction of the highway’ despite the fact that I was standing next
to a tree. He slammed me up against the police car and told me to go
and live in Russia! His mood darkened further back at the station,
when I explained that the whole thing had been filmed by a hidden TV
company who were making a documentary. So I was over the moon, to see
that McDonalds are going to be one of the main sponsors of the 2012
London Olympic Games. Even worse, they are trying to make sure that
their golden arches are the exclusive "meal brand" at the games, with
other food chains, being told they will not be able to sell their
wares on a number of Olympic sites without removing labels or changing
packaging. At other sporting venues, including the ExCel Centre where
boxing, weightlifting and table tennis will take place, restaurant and
cafe owners have been told that they will have to leave the venues for
the duration of the Games to make way for official sponsors.
Now why do McDonalds want to sponsor the Olympics? Would any self
respecting Olympian feast on a Big Mac? Anyone who has seen that film
‘Super Size Me’ where Morgan Spurlock eats exclusively at McDonalds
for a month would probably think not. In that month Spurlock put on 1¾
stone - a 13% body mass increase, his cholesterol level went through
the roof and he experienced mood swings and liver damage. In fact it
took Spurlock fourteen months to lose the weight gained from his
experiment. Of course McDonalds argue that no one should exclusively
dine on their food and it should just be part a healthier, balanced
diet. But come on, who has a healthier balanced diet and goes there to
eat?
McDonalds know they serve up garbage. Worried by the law suits faced
by the tobacco industry they helped lobby for legislation in various
American states, to protect themselves from being sued by people that
get fat from eating their food. They aren’t too keen on criticism
either and were particularly busy in the 1980’s threatening to sue
anyone and any publication that dared too. That was till they came up
against a couple of anarchists who decided they wouldn’t be cowered.
So began McLibel, the longest libel trial in English history. Two
individuals with a combined annual income of £10,000, representing
themselves against one of the biggest corporations in the world
(annual income £30 billion). It was a bit like Slough taking on
Manchester United, with all our players having to hop on one leg
throughout the game. At the end of the trial dubbed “the most
disastrous PR exercise ever mounted by a multinational company” the
Judge ruled that as was stated in the ‘What’s Wrong with McDonald's
leaflet’, the company do exploit children and their workforce, their
food isn’t healthy and they are involved in animal cruelty.
All parents know about pester power – and corporations like McDonalds
work very hard on this. One of their top marketing managers admitted
“Children are virgin ground as far as marketing is concerned.” The
company spend over $1.8 billion every year worldwide on advertising
and promotions, most of it specifically aimed at 2 to 8 year olds with
a bribe of toys thrown in for good measure. Their confidential
'Operations Manual' was read out in court "Children are often the key
decision makers concerning where a family goes to eat…(offering toys)
is one of the best things…to make them loyal supporters…Ronald loves
McDonald's and McDonald's food. And so do children, because they love
Ronald. Remember, children exert a phenomenal influence when it comes
to restaurant selection. This means you should do everything you can
to appeal to children's love for Ronald and McDonald's." A former
Ronald Clown went public with his regrets “I brainwashed kids into
doing wrong. I want to say sorry to children everywhere.”
Still, forget the garbage created by the mountains of unnecessary
packaging, most of which ends up littering our streets or polluting
the land buried in landfill sites. Forget the crap pay of its
Mcworkers, the forests throughout the world which are felled for
cattle ranching. Forget, that all those Big Mac producing cows farts
contribute towards global warming. Forget the modern intensive
agriculture based on the heavy use of chemicals which are damaging to
the environment. Forget that their burgers taste like cats sick,
heavily disguised by two tonnes of mayonnaise and ketch-up. Forget all
that and ask yourself should McDonalds really be the official sponsors
of the Olympics. The official sponsors of the Football Associations
Football Charter Standard Scheme (you can see their Mclogo on top of
the Slough Town home page).
I’ve longed complained that the majority of food served up at football
matches I wouldn’t serve to a pig, and that eating it, often ends up
with the spectators starting to resemble said pigs. Of course, it’s up
to people what they want to eat. But most people would agree that
advertising aimed at encouraging children to smoke and drink shouldn’t
be allowed, so why is it ok to target children with food that is so
bad for you? The government talks of tackling obesity and getting
people to do more exercise and taking part in sport, but can someone
tell me how that squares with allowing food corporations getting into
bed with our biggest sporting events? With multi-national corporations
richer and more powerful than many small countries, we have become too
scared to take them on. It’s time we told Ronald and his mates to
stick their Big Macs where the sun don’t shine.

http://www.mcspotlight.org/

ONE GIANT STEP FOR SLOUGH TOWN

2009-08-23T11:49:00.001Z

Printed in the Southern League Midlands Division match v Barton Rovers
on Saturday 22nd August 2009. We won 5-1 in front of 226.

One councilor stood up and pronounced ‘Now I don’t like football’. Oh
here we go again, thought the supporters in the gallery, but she
continued ‘but I think this is a fabulous idea.’ Infact councilors
from every party were in agreement and wondered why this hadn’t
happened a long time ago.
So six years after being booted out of Wexham Park, years of
campaigning and dashed hopes, and plenty of work behind the scenes,
Slough Town football club were given outline planning permission to
start to re-develop the old Arbour Vale School site on the Stoke Road.
Slough Town could once again be playing in Slough.
It’s certainly been a different closed season to be the one we have
got used to where chaos and panic seem to engulf the football club. I
don’t want to pick out one person for this transformation as it’s a
team effort. We know the supporters and officials who behind the
scenes and on the match days put in the work that make this club tick.
The Supporters Trust, the people working on the website and those
working on sponsorship and the youth team - even the programme editor
does a pretty good job for such a miserable git!
But there’s no doubt that having Steve Easterbrook as our chairman has
transformed this club from basket case to one where Slough Borough
Council have taken the club seriously again. Now, in an ideal world I
would like all clubs to be supporter run. They are community assets
not play-things for some crazy egotist. You only have to look at
Grays, Cambridge and Forest Green whose Chairman’s antics have led to
teams being managerless before the season even started to see how too
much power to one man can ruin a football club.
But Steve is about as unassuming a chairman as you can get, but
everyone I have spoken to who has seen him in action at meetings says
how professional he is.
As for the new community football stadium, there will also be 81
residential dwellings (the majority of which will be affordable) and a
‘state of the art’ artificial pitch. All the external football pitches
will be made available for use by the nearby St Josephs School.
Steve said “As well as providing a new home for the club the facility
will deliver community activities which will enhance public health,
promote community engagement and provide great opportunities for young
people.”
Of course there’s still a long way to go. It is a decision in
principle only, and now more detailed proposals need to be hammered
out. Contracts will need to be signed, planning permission obtained
etc, and decision about the West Wing arts centre sorted out. BUT at
least we now have everyone onboard, have agreed it is feasible and
desirable and have decided it should progress.
If everything runs to plan, then Slough Town could be running out on a
pitch in Slough sometime early in 2012. And that will be one serious
giant footballing step forward for the club.

Wherever Next

2009-08-19T18:44:00.000Z

Printed in the first home league match of the season 18th August 2009
Southern League Midlands Division v Burnham. We lost 2-0 in front of
337 people.

I must admit I had a nose bleed when I saw we had been put in the
Southern Leagues Midlands Division. No really; I had just come out of
hospital after an operation on my nose and it hadn’t stopped bleeding.
Still, fifteen new grounds for me, and camped out at Liverpool Street
station, staring at the boards waiting for the next starship to
Romulus. Look, I really don’t mind the travelling as long as we have
a successful season, even winning the odd bloody game would be nice,
but it’s getting me dizzy how many leagues we have been in over the
past decade since being booted out of the Conference. Ryman Premier,
Ryman North, Ryman South, Southern South and West and now the
Midlands. By the end of this season we will have played 119 different
league clubs in 10 years – a record? Who needs to become one of those
sad ground-hopper types - just support Slough Town.
The FA has promised to sort it out this season, and they really have
too. Clubs at our level shouldn’t really be travelling such long
distances.
Carlisle’s managing director is even arguing that the Football Leagues
bottom two divisions should be regionalized; 51 years after Division
Three North and South were scrapped. Talk like this isn’t really
surprising coming from a club that are seriously stuck out on such a
geographically limb – they are nine miles from the Scottish border and
will travel nearly 12,000 league miles over the season. The argument
is of course a financial one but also to encourage more local derbies
and more away fans – clubs rarely bring more than 300 to Brunton
Park.
Still, if you don’t agree with that, can you argue that we really need
a national non league division? Does it make sense for the part timers
of Eastbourne to be playing the part timers of Barrow? Shouldn’t there
at least be a Conference Midlands division? This would have sorted out
the mess of Worcester City playing in the Blue Square South while
Gloucester City are playing in the Blue Square North, passing each
other on the M6 every other week!
Meanwhile AFC Sudbury will be one of our league opponents this season
having lost their appeal to be put back in the Ryman league. The club
were not impressed when last season they were shoved into the Southern
Midlands, complaining of the vast increase in the travelling and the
knock on effect this had on the recruitment of players. In the summing
up to their appeal, it was stated the decision was taken in the light
of both the Ryman and Southern Leagues agreement to a re-organisation
of the respective league boundaries at the end of next season.
Time to put your bets on just where the hell we will be playing next
season!

DUTCH DELIGHT

2009-04-30T08:31:00.000Z

Printed in the last league game of the season (thank god!) v
Bridgwater Town Saturday 25th April 2009. We won 2-1 in front of 233
people.

I must admit I know nothing about lower league Dutch football. Infact
I'd be a bit sad if I did. But with the possibility of a new ground in
Slough, General Manager Roy Merryweather organized for a small Slough
Town delegation s to see Rijnsburgse Boys and Quick Boys FC as having
visited the grounds before, he saw it as an ideal model to replicate.
I spoke to Roy and programme editor Glen Riley about the visit.

What is clubs league equivalent in this country?
Glen: They're semi-pro too but with their set-up/crowds it would be
similar to Conference/League 2. Not seen them play so I can't comment
on the standard of football.

Describe their set up?
Glen: Both stadiums had similar set ups with the main stadium
surrounded by many outside pitches that are used for their youth
sides. Both grounds had just a big main stand with all the usual
facilities with the rest of the ground open and flat standing.

Lower league Dutch clubs enjoy healthy crowds and are the centre of
the community. How have their achieved that?
Glen: Having 15-20 different youth and affiliated sides under their
umbrella obviously helps massively with keeping the club at the centre
of their communities. For local derbies, which there are a few, they
can get crowds of 5,000 but normally average between 1,500-2,000
people.

What parts of their set up would you like to see replicated if/when we
get Arbour Vale?

Glen: Definitely the youth set up they have, maybe not on that scale
as there just wouldn't be room.
Roy: The football club in any village is the centre of the community
boys and girls from a very early age go along to their village ground
to enjoy the sport and they are proud to play for that club right from
an early age. All Dutch clubs have around 30 youth and 20 adults teams
through to veteran XI's representing that team. All standards are
catered for - your ability is not the main issue, it’s the desire to
play for your club that is the most important. Individual pub and
youth teams do not exist very much, to my knowledge in Holland
therefore the rivalry we experience between Slough, Windsor, Burnham,
Marlow happens at all levels.

How is this funded? Who paid for the stadiums? The day to day running
costs?

Roy: The whole concept is centred around the subscriptions of club
members, supported by a massive contributions of local sponsorship
plus the whole package backed by a heavy concentration of volunteer
help. Sounds simple but I'm sure it could be done.
Membership to the club, would not be cheap, but the perks involved for
both social and playing members would be enormous, season tickets,
shopping discounts, 500 club membership all would be part of the
package, in additions to providing a good standard of football, plus
training facilities and kit of the very best quality. If we work
together on raising standards of all teams, this can only be progress,
To watch Slough play Windsor, Marlow or Maidenhead at any level would
be the perfect scenario , from under 10 to Veterans it could happen,
that's not forgetting the Ladies section also.

As for company sponsorship, this is completely untapped territory, In
Holland business contacts are made through the football clubs.
Saturday is not a day of rest, it’s the opportunity to promote your
company in a real upbeat fashion, use the match and club house to
forming new friends and outlets. On one of my recent visits I spoke
with a local architect who said, since supporting Rijinsburgse boys
five years ago his company had advanced out off all recognition.
Contacts gained were enormous and the order book was full. We all have
a part to play, at a new ground with really smart reception rooms we
could really advance this theory. Part of the upfront payment of
funds would be given back in food and drink, by which we all benefit.
In Holland they work their bars similar to a number of Golf clubs here
in the U.K., with no money actually changing hands, just a card system
in place.

As for the final Dutch way of life is to recruit more of the likes of
Chris Sliski’s and Alan Harding’s of Slough. Whilst in Holland both
clubs had up to 50 people of similar status willing to give their time
free to their club to help out on match days and throughout the rest
of the week. Even the cleaners were retired supporters bored of
staying at home, who gave up the time just for a bite to eat at
lunchtimes for a few hours of work each day. We found a real sense of
pride to tell us what they all did each week for their team. I really
do believe we could follow these examples if we had the right facility
to entertain them all.”

AT LEAST WE'VE GOT ONE

2009-04-13T10:09:00.000Z

Printed in the Southern League South and West division v Taunton Town.
Slough played in pink in aid of Breast Cancer Research and drew 2-2 in
front of 248.

At the last count I was up to about 150 – although no doubt some are
now buried under the jackboots of Tesco superstores. I’ve added
another 6 this season alone and with thirty years of football support
behind me, they start racking up.
I’m talking about football grounds, and being a Slough Town supporter
the majority of these have been non league.
God knows how many teams Slough have played over the past few years
with relegation after relegation, re-organisation after re-
organisation. Infact one of the more enjoyable aspects of supporting a
lower league football club is the amount of different places and
grounds you get to visit. Just don’t put me down as a ground-hopper.
You won’t see me in a large mac, hanging around the secretary’s office
hoping to get a team-sheet, complaining if there isn’t a programme or
bog roll in the toilets. But I do like to visit new places – even if
they happen to be Billericay, Barnet and Basingstoke.
I also like arriving at grounds at least a few hours beforehand. With
our weekend plans to the New Forest postponed, I decided to get the
train to Totton hours before kick-off. Problem was there wasn’t even a
greasy café to stuff my face in the small town centre (but I did get a
nice jar of home-made marmalade, which gives you an indication of the
place). Still the club were kind enough to open the bar for me.
Thatcham had a lovely old pub by the station, but was yet another tin-
pot ground where we failed to win. Cirencester was even less
impressive apart from the clubhouse. A barren wind-swept place on the
outskirts of town where I spent more time in the club-house trying to
warm up rather than watching another abject performance.
I didn’t really see much of Cornwall as we broke the speed barrier to
get to the game on time, and it looks like we won’t be going to Truro
any time soon. I quite liked Taunton, and Gosport has a certain charm
about it although it really could do with some more cover. I wouldn’t
want to be at Bishops Cleeve on a wet and windy afternoon either. And
it’s probably best to keep stum about Windsor, Abingdon and
Bracknell.
My favourite this season is Paulton, no doubt helped by the best away
performance of the season. The place felt at the heart of the
community, the higgildy piggildy ground had great views and the
covered terracing behind one of the goals that looked down on the
pitch is something I’d like to see replicated at Arbour Vale.
In our Conference days, speeding up the motorways towards Manchester
and other far flung outposts was a regular occurrence. So was getting
lost. I have continued that tradition by finding myself stumbling
around in woodland while looking for AFC Hayes and being totally
bemused in the pouring rain with a sodden map trying to find Walton
and Hersham (with the game called off just 15 minutes after I got
there).
I enjoyed that last game of the season against Worthing where we all
met up on the sea-front in thick sea mist. Me and my girlfriend having
an away break in the picturesque town of Maldon. That great weekend in
the Isle of Wight.
But of course, the ground I would most like to visit is the one at
Arbour Vale, with thousands of us packed in for the first game of the
season. Now that would really give us all something to cheer about and
give us the right to criticize other grounds without being told ‘at
least we’ve got one.’

GREAT EXPECTATIONS

2009-03-29T10:08:00.001Z

Printed in the Southern League South and West Division match v Paulton
Rovers Saturday 28th March 2009. We won 1-0 in front of 209.

I was expecting so much more this season. Being stupidly optimistic,
as most football fans are, I was rather foolishly hoping for at least
a sniff at the play-offs and a little run in the cups (even the Berks
and Bucks would have done). Instead we have been looking over our
shoulders at the bottom clubs and have had do with a few sporadic
highlights like beating Windsor. But it was the defeat at Uxbridge
that really did it for me and to be honest if there hadn’t been a
change of management I wouldn’t have bothered with much of the rest of
the season. Fair-weather fan? Whatever. But a five hour round trip
(and more if we are away) each week becomes pretty tiresome, and
watching Slough started to feel like a chore rather than something to
look forward too at the weekend.
Everyone’s agreed Derek Sweetman is undoubtedly a nice bloke. He
steadied the ship, but in the end it just wasn’t happening. I’m
pleased despite some really poor performances the majority of the
Slough supporters didn’t take out their frustrations on the manager or
the players. Especially after listening to some of the plonkers on the
football radio phone-in’s. So i’ve come up with a new reality TV
programme (because we need a few more, don’t we).
Forget Wife Swap, what about ‘Football Fan Swap’?
Any Arsenal fan found booing their team has to spend two months
watching Wingate and Finchley.
A season ticket watching Cowdenbeath to the knuckle-head Celtic
‘supporter’ who called for Gordon Strachan to be sacked for losing to
St.Mirren in the Scottish Cup.
Any Man United fans that ring up from Devon complaining that ‘it’s
just not good enough’, are banished to Barnstaple Town for six months
and made to clean the toilets after the game, preferably with their
United scarf.
As for Slough. Well as a gardener and it being the busiest time of
year for me, I have only seen a Steve Bateman team take apart Bishops
Cleeve in a very enjoyable day out in Gloucestershire.
But again, as we drove through Cheltenham, I felt depressed. Twenty
years ago I was watching Slough play Cheltenham. Now we are going to a
tiny little village outside Cheltenham. Now I mean no disrespect to
clubs like Cleeve – Slough deserve to be playing at this level, and
are of course, lucky not to be playing at the level below. Cheltenham
based Rebel supporter Grandad told me that Bishop Cleeve have had
their fair share of upheaval, losing their old ground when the Church
sold it off for housing and having to ground-share until they moved
into their new stadium. They had a nice clubhouse, but the ground was
a bit thread-bare, although tidy with sweeping views but unfortunately
there were more sheep watching the game than home fans.
I take my hat off to clubs like Cleeve. But – again no disrespect, I
have had enough of playing these clubs every week. I don’t want to
outnumber home supporters. I want some banter. Some atmosphere. And I
don’t want to lose nearly every week for THREE BLOODY SEASONS!!!
Just as successful managers like Arsene Wenger knows its at least top
four in the Premiership to stop the booing, Steve Bateman will know
the pressures of the new job. I expect nothing less than a battle for
a play off place next season!
I’ve got enough nice views from my front room window thank you very
much, without having to travel westwards every other week to look at
sheep.

INTERVIEW WITH SLOUGH TOWN SECRETARY

2009-03-19T08:20:00.001Z

Printed in the Southern South and West Division league match v
Bracknell Town. 0-0 in front of 218 spectators.

There’s been plenty of talk recently about a lack of younger people
coming along and giving their time for free to lower league football
teams. But one of the clubs to buck that trend is Slough Town. I
caught up with Gary Thomas, to ask him how he became a club secretary
in his twenties

How long have you been supporting Slough?
My first game was an FA Cup game, as I'm sure it is with many non
league supporters. Saturday 13th November 1993 against Torquay United.
Didn't manage to get to many games in the "good years" due to working
on Saturdays, but became a full home and away regular in 1999.

Were you involved in helping the club before you became secretary?
Yes, I was helping out on the website so occasionally would talk to
the manager, club personnel and players to get information. Perhaps
most famously, former manager Mr. Browne gave me a proper dressing
down for something I had nothing to do with! In addition, my wife Emma
agreed to run the club shop in the final years of Wexham Park and
again whilst we were at Windsor, so I had time helping out with that
also. In the years at Windsor, I did a lot of filming of matches which
was used to make two seasons review DVD's, something which we still do
occasionally now. I began to help Roy Merryweather out in the final
season at Windsor with some of the administrative work and took on the
role as football secretary for the start of our time at Beaconsfield
in 2007.

Why did you decide to become secretary?
Roy Merryweather had taken on the role originally and worked with kit
man Paul Lillywhite on a matchday to arrange everything for the
referee. I was happy to help out and wanted to get involved, so it was
a natural progression. It's been a great experience meeting other
admin staff at other clubs and talking to those in the Southern
League, the majority of whom have been exceptionally helpful as I
learn the ways of football rules and regulations. I enjoy all aspects
of football and felt I could add something to the club and wanted to
help the club get back on the right track and moving forwards again,
something which we are now able to do thanks to the dedication and
hard work of Roy and the chairman, Steve Easterbook in addition to the
other members of the clubs board.

It's also been great on the playing side to work with Darron
Wilkinson, Mark Betts and Derek Sweetman as you can see the amount of
extra hours they put into the football above and beyond matchdays and
training sessions. Whilst performances may not always have been to all
our liking, all three were more than happy to talk to anyone about the
game in the bar and after training. Most importantly, they are all
good people which makes the working relationship all that bit easier
and the role all the more enjoyable.

With the birth of my son Steven, it has become a little more difficult
as responsibilities change, but thanks to a very supportive wife I
have been able to continue to dedicate the required time to the role
that it requires and still enjoy every minute of it. I think it's
great to see Steven coming along to games and in some cases getting
into boardrooms at away clubs to enjoy hospitality!

My only regret in taking on the role is that I can no longer get in
behind the goal and get in with creating or joining in the atmosphere.
With an official role at the club, there are often things going on
which mean you cannot watch the game in its entirety, although this is
offset by having the pass for away games.

So what’s a typical match-day for you?
An average home match for me will see me notify the officials and
opponents at least seven days prior to the match, take delivery of the
programmes on a Friday afternoon and confirm with the officials that
they are all ok for the journey. On the Saturday, I aim to get to the
ground for between 1 and 1.30. Programmes are put out for the
officials, opponents, our players and into the boardroom. Then I can
afford myself a twenty minute break and usually some lunch from the
tea bar. Line ups have to be done and in to the officials by 2.15 so I
am often looking for Sweets at around 2pm to get the line up written
up. Once these are done and the papers exchanged with the officials,
the line ups need to be printed with the leagues logo and added into
the boardroom. We also print out a few extras for any press and one is
always pinned up for the supporters.

During half time we'll make sure the match officials expenses are done
and marked up and then after the game the result has to be rung
through to the press association and also to the league.

For away games, I will confirm our attendance at the game and also
send over details of pen pics, club history and expected line up to be
included in the home teams programme for the day. I will look to
arrive between 1.30 and 2pm to an away game as the line up will need
to be done and in to the referee by 2.15, but one this is done, I can
relax a bit and soak up a pre-match drink either in the bar or in the
boardroom and then enjoy the football on display.

So are you the youngest secretary in our league?
I’m certainly the youngest secretary and committee person I know of in
my season and a half of doing the job. The only one which comes close
is the secretary at Didcot who is in his thirties. Most of the
committees tend to be forties and above. We do of course have another
exception in Glen Riley (programme editor). I think between us, our
combined age totals less than some of the people I see in boardrooms
around the league!

I’m not quite sure why the trend is that way. There is obviously a lot
of time and dedication required to do any official role with a club at
this level and it is voluntary work as well, so there isn't the
financial benefit to spending the extra hours watching your club play
football. I say watching, but a lot of time for me is spent either
providing updates at away games for the website or chasing round after
my boy at the home games these days!

I think the workload involved can put people off, but we have been
blessed at Slough with a number of volunteers over the years and
people who continue to put in many hours of their own time into
helping out the club. We've also seen some of the "younger" supporters
begin to help out with the Supporters Trust raffle on a matchday and
have had previous instances of younger people running things such as
the Junior Rebels on behalf of the Trust and of course in our own
boardroom.

I think it comes down to the people available to you. The average
supporter will just want to come along and watch the side play
football which is fair enough. Once you become a regular though, if
you feel you can do more to help out and offer to do so, there will
always be something to help out with. Essentially, that's how I got
into the position I am in today and I don't regret a minute of it!

DAY TRIP TO CORNWALL

2009-03-12T08:50:00.001Z

Printed in the Southern League South and West match v Andover. We won
4-3 in front of 230.

It wasn’t my most rational of decisions. Slough were playing Truro
City and when my plans for a weekend away with Windsor Rebel, Best Man
and Big Lens fell threw, it was always going to be a mission to get to
the game. But get to the game I must – this could be the only time I
would see Slough play a league match in Cornwall!
I woke at 4.30am and walked to Brighton train station. Clubbers sat
shivering and disheveled waiting for the first train home. The train
to Victoria was fine, but my tube broke down so at 6am I was hailing a
taxi to Paddington, then jumping on a fast train to Slough to meet the
supporters coach. The Supporters Trust did a great deal for members
where it was just 20 quid return. Phil the Flag supplied the
refreshments, Pepe the chocolate and by early morning I felt like I
had eaten half the daily output of the Mars factory.
And then the coach broke down at Bristol.
For two hours.
It limped to the services and Anil the coach-driver, became Anil the
mechanic. He managed to fix it and then drove at speed and we arrived
at Truro with 3 minutes to spare, joining about 50 plus Slough
supporters.
Unfortunately rather than a friendly Cornish welcome we had four
middle-aged skinheads who threatened and abused us and enjoyed light-
hearted racist banter with themselves. It was like one of the episodes
of ‘Life on Mars’, the four trapped in some 1970’s football time warp,
unable to comprehend that life had moved on, football had moved on.
The majority of the Truro fans were friendly enough – infact these
bunch of retards were from London. ‘No One Likes Us’ they sang. Hello!
We are playing eight leagues below the Premiership – no one’s heard of
you.
I had seen Truro play before, on their way to winning the FA Vase in
front of a record 36,232 fans. On the way to Wembley they played
Whitehawk, an estate in Brighton. They came en masse and some of them
foolishly decided to sing ‘Does your boyfriend know your here’; a song
Brighton fans have to put up with everywhere. But with no police, no
stewards, no segregation, the song was ended some-what abruptly by the
locals with the Whitehawk manager having to leave the dug-out and
appeal for calm.
As for the game, Slough had the better of the first half and
incredibly took the lead and could have had more, but Truro always
looked dangerous. This is not surprising really since most of their
squad seems to be made up of ex league and Conference players. So what
about player budget cuts of 50%? One fan told me that their third
choice goalie was on a grand a month! Truro’s chairman has – or at
least did have - money to burn with plans for a new stadium and his
eyes on the Football League.
The second half was Truro’s. The cold Russian wind that would bring
the snow the next day, was doing us no favours. Phil’s flag nearly
blew away from the empty seats and Truro took control. We lost 2-1 but
played well – why can’t we do this against the teams below us?
As for the journey home. I finally got to bed at 2.30am after an epic
twenty two hour round trip. My girlfriend was still nodding her head
in disbelief the next day that I had gone all that way for 90 minutes
of football. Perhaps she had a point.

TOP OF THE BLOG

2009-03-11T20:41:00.004Z

Printed in the Southern League South and West match v Cinderford Town
Tuesday 3rd March 2009. We lost 2-3 in front of 176 people. We now have
a new manager, in former player Steve Bateman.

Brace yourself - you are reading an article from one of ‘the most
influential blogs in the UK blogosphere.’ Yes that’s right, my Slough
Town Soapbox currently features at no.61 in the Wikio Sports hit
parade. Up six places and the highest ranking non league footie blog
in the monthly charts, just behind Real Madrid.
Let me explain. All the articles I write for the match day programme
get stuck on my blog for all the world to see. A blog is basically a
website written by anybody with something to say, reviews, rantings
and ravings, anything basically. And there are a hell of a lot of
blogs in the world - a year ago there was 112 million (I don’t know
who had the job of counting them). For the most part they are pretty
dull, and you do wonder who reads the stuff. Where once a private
diary, rant in the pub or tatty old fanzine would have sufficed now
it’s posted onto the internet for everyone to see. Now I’m all for
everyone putting forward their views, but to be brutally honest most
of what is posted is crap.
So how did articles about Slough Town get to rub shoulders with
Arsenal, Liverpool, and Letchworth Girls Rugby? To be honest I’m not
quite sure but they explain “The position of a blog in the Wikio
ranking depends on the number and weight of the incoming links from
other blogs. These links are dynamic, which means that they are
backlinks or links found within articles. With our algorithm, the
weight of a link from a top blog is greater than that of a link from a
blog that is less well ranked.” Which sounds like a load of bloggocks
to me!
Not surprisingly, in the sports blog top 100 football dominates, but
there’s also rugby, cricket, motor racing, and motorbiking. However it
is dominated by Arsenal blogs – twenty of the bloody things. Don’t
they get enough coverage in the national press? Is this just
confirmation that Arsenal have the geekiest supporters? It’s also
quite disconcerting that Letchworth Girls Rugby and Swaffham Girls
Rugby are higher up than me! There’s also 7 Formula 1 motor racing
blogs, writing about a sport that makes televised darts seem exciting.
I couldn’t quite bring myself to read them but at least I now know
where to go if I have any bouts of insomnia. There’s a blog called
Beautiful Aim – about ‘a 23 year old fanatic with average footballing
skill, who hopes with the guidance of a team of experts, to make
Premiership football in just one year.’ Don’t know about Beautiful
Aim, more totally deluded.
Oxford United are the only other non-league club in the top 100, and
well they aren’t proper non league really are they? The most
interesting are ‘The Referee - The Ups & Downs of an English Football
Referee’ just for an insight into referees minds. ‘Ground-Hog’ with
reviews of one mans visits to various footie grounds and ‘200 hundred
per cent’. This is easily the best with excellent, well written, in
depth footie articles with a non league slant. Some of the blogs
mentioned I reckon shouldn’t be allowed in the chart, with the BBC and
Times included, with both organisations having substantially more
resources than little ole me .
So there you go, this article was bought to you by your very own blow-
its-own-trumpet top non league football blog in the country. Now I’m
just waiting for the New Years honors list invite to drop through my
letterbox. Sir Brighton Rebel has a ring to it don’t you think?

SIGN OF THE TIMES?

2009-02-07T08:19:00.001Z

This article should have appeared in the Southern League South and
West game v Gosport Borough 7th Feb 2008 but thanks to the
snow, frost and rain, the game was called off.

With the country deep in recession, Beaconsfield have joined the
chorus of clubs to admit they have financial problems. Their chairman
Bob Breen said that they will not survive as a Southern League club
unless they receive immediate help from volunteers and the people of
Beaconsfield. So shall we blame the credit crunch or is this an on
going problem? In a way Beaconsfield are a victim of their own
success. Despite winning the treble last season and now in the play-
offs they are averaging just 116 people for home games. They’ve got a
tidy little ground but it is out on a limb in no-man’s land that lacks
identity and Beaconsfield, one of the most expensive places to buy a
house in the country, is hardly a footballing hot bed. Infact if it
weren’t for the ground-sharing agreement with Slough, Breen admits the
club would be in even more serious financial trouble.
Of course, there are clubs like Beaconsfield up and down the pyramid.
Sponsorship is drying up, but stupid ground grading rules and
excessive travelling aren’t helping matters. Recently Barnstaple
Town’s manager resigned, making the point that in some league games
his players were travelling all day for £30. A director at the club is
now urging them to leave the Western League because of the current
economic situation and the amount of travelling involved and go back
to having a local manager with local players. Despite both Slough and
Beaconsfield playing at level five, we are often travelling westwards.
Of course its worse for league rivals Truro, whose geography means
9,422 miles on the road throughout the season. But rumours of their
imminent demise are never far from the football forums, not helped by
being backed by a property owning sugar daddy who has propelled them
into the highest ranking Cornish club in the country.
The recession means that there is going to be far less football sugar
daddies about – no bad thing in my book, as relying on one person’s
cash is a disaster waiting to happen when the man with the wallet goes
walkabout. But the most interesting thing of the Bob Breen article was
his bemoaning the lack of volunteers.
For football clubs to get more people in through the gates and helping
out on match-days the mind-set has to change, as often they are there
own worst enemies. So aside from breeding, you have to be inventive!
The least clubs can do is make it kids for a quid and free tickets to
local schools and youth football teams. One supporter at Cwmbran Town
told of some of this inventiveness “The turnstile operator and
Chairman let a bunch of lads in for a quid apiece. They were just
hanging around the sports centre and cheekily asked for a discount.
They came in, stayed for the whole game and turned up for the next
home game with a couple more mates. Since then, they have been to
every game, bought replica shirts, flags, hats, scarves etc and also
brought a few more mates along with them. Whether they continue coming
long term, when they are old enough to spend Saturday afternoon in the
pub watching the results come through on Sky, I don't know, but for
now they sing and shout all through the game and frankly have been a
breath of fresh air.” A former secretary at Crockenhill FC remembered
that time when “One of the local youngsters who I could have chased
off the pitch one Saturday for breaking in and kicking around actually
stayed for the game and eventually played for the club.” These are the
sorts of volunteers and attitudes football clubs need to survive!

TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE

2009-01-26T08:44:00.003Z

Printed in the Southern League South and West game v Windsor and EtoN 24th January 2009. Windsor’s 18 match unbeaten run came to and end with Slough winning
3-2 in front of 385 people.

If something seems too good to be true then it probably is. This is
what the investors with Bernard Madoff are finding out, after he recently
confessed to the worlds largest ever fraud. US Investment manager Madoff
was the ultimate Wall Street insider, the financial wizard to the A-list who
everyone wanted to know. But Madoff established what is called a
“Ponzi scheme” and swindled up to $50 billion from investors from big
banks to charities. But how could he have fooled so many people for so
long? Ponzi schemes are relatively unsophisticated frauds in which the
organisers repay old investors not with genuine gains but with money
from new investors. Madoff gave much better returns than anyone else,
but while the money rolled in few questioned how it was possible.
Too good to be true also sums up the Premiership. Football fans have
been too easily dazzled by money; turning a blind eye to anyone who
flashes the cash, no matter where that money comes from or the dubious
motives of the investors.
West Ham are the Premiership club in the most precarious position.
Owner Bjorgolfur Gudmundsson has put West Ham on the market in order to pay
back debts exceeding £50 million after the collapse of an Icelandic
bank in which he had a 41% stake. Gudmundsson, who bought the club for
£85 million in 2006, is struggling to finalise a deal having initially
expected to raise £250 million, a figure that, surprise surprise, is
proving unrealistic in the current financial climate. If he doesn’t
sell by early March, his company will be declared bankrupt and
stripped of its assets, which includes West Ham. Should that happen
the Hammers could be placed into administration with an immediate
point’s deduction. Sources close to Gudmundsson admitted "It is very
difficult to sell any football club right now, it is hard to maximise
value."
At Blackburn, relegation could finish the club – with wages accounting
for a staggering 85 per cent of turnover. Portsmouth and Liverpool’s
plans for new stadiums look to be going nowhere. Even money-bags
Abramovich has been hit by the collapse of the Russian stockmarket.
Infact Chelsea and Man Utd have a combined debt of £750 million! The
Mr.Big of football take-overs Keith Harris, said "We're in the
toughest economic situation anybody has endured in our lifetime, and
that means we are unlikely to see much activity on the football
takeover scene." An American investor ready to buy the ever troubled
Newcastle United had to pull out after they lost hundreds of millions
of dollars thanks to the Bernard Madoff fraud.
Of course it’s not just Premiership clubs that are feeling the pinch –
football clubs up and down the country have over-stretched themselves
and are in financial melt-down as sponsorship dry’s up.
In the week when Man City made a ridiculous £100 million bid for AC
Milan’s Kaka, Berkhamstead Town went to the wall after their
electricity was cut off because of an unpaid bill. With it go another
community asset and ninety years of history. Meanwhile Lewes,
Northwich, Grays, Weymouth, Workington, Salisbury, Folkestone,
Eastleigh, Stafford, Worcester, Leigh Genesis and Fisher are just some
of the non league clubs in financial trouble.
Football clubs are not just companies or rich men’s playthings, but
run properly can become part of the social glue that binds communities
together. It’s time more football fans took control of their clubs and
became a lot more questioning about the way football is run before the
game is ruined forever.

• Excellent website on football economics http://www.footballeconomy.com/

PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY

2009-01-21T10:28:00.001Z

Printed in the Southern League South and West League match v North
Leigh Tuesday 20th January 2009. 1-1 draw in front of 205 people.

How old should your child be before you drag them along to a football
match? This was the question posed on the excellent Tony Kempster
website by one parent. Well as a dad I feel is part of my parental
responsibility to take my son and get him hooked on footie as young as
possible. Taking children to football is good for their social skills,
gets them used to crowds (well, sometimes there’s a crowd) and more
importantly, very good for their language skills!
Ruben was just 10 days old before his uncle Mad Beard Mark paid for
him to be match sponsor. Ruben slept through the game although he did
have the dubious honour of being breastfed in the Windsor and Eton
boardroom with pictures of royalty bearing down on him. Since then,
he’s come along to quite a few home games, a non league international
at Eastbourne and been on trips to Henley, Hendon, Andover, Uxbridge
and the Isle of Wight. Club-shop Sue brought him a little top which he
wore when he run out as a mascot with his cousin Liam last season. The
only problem being that he now thinks its ok to run on the pitch
anytime.
His last match was New Years Day when over 2,000 squashed into the
Dripping Pan to watch Lewes v Eastbourne, easily the biggest crowd of
his life. Only once did he complain about ‘too many people’ singing
‘Rebels, Rebels’ and getting very excited about the Eastbourne fans
rendition of Santa Claus. I did try to tell him that the Rebels was
also the nickname for Lewes arch rivals Worthing, and that Slough
weren’t playing, but it was only the lack of chips that really got him
upset. Infact ‘Rebels, Rebels’ is definitely one of his favourite
songs – and he gave a good rendition of it at a recent demo against
the Israeli bombing of Gaza!
I want to be a fly on the wall when Ruben explains to bewildered class-
mates that he supports Slough Town – a town, let alone a football
team, they doubtless will have never heard of. Mind you, at nursery
they think he is singing ‘Seagulls’, the nickname of Brighton and Hove
Albion, and it seems unnecessary to contradict them.
Probably unsurprisingly, Ruben now loves football – be it watching it
or playing it. Infact any ball game is popular - although the hitting-
toys-with-a-tennis-racket isn’t the best game in the world – for his
toys, the windows or our heads.
It seems obligatory at the lower levels of football to have a group of
kids knocking a ball about oblivious to the football on the pitch.
Luckily at Slough there are always quite a few kids home and away to
keep Ruben amused. But it's better to take him when there's little at
stake. When we were fighting relegation at Newport Isle of Wight, I
spent half my time chasing him away from puddles that would have
submerged him.
How long his love affair with Slough will last I don’t know. With work
starting on the brand new Brighton stadium just a mile away from our
house, he’ll no doubt be heading their sometime soon. He will love the
atmosphere, the football will no doubt be better, but there will be no
unofficial football matches, climbing over chairs, running up and down
their aisles or grass fights. And it will cost 25 quid to get in. So
to the man who asked about taking his kids to footie. Yes definitely,
but for smaller children, the non league experience wins everytime.

FOOTBALL FIX

2008-12-22T16:07:00.001Z

Printed in the Southern League South and West match v Didcot Town Saturday 20th December 2008. We lost 3-2 in front of 295.

It was a freezing cold Saturday, Slough didn’t have a game, but I still needed my football fix. Finding myself in London to see the family’s newest addition (and the usual arguments over whether baby Natasha will support Man United or Chelsea!) I headed rather briskly up Summers Lane to see Wingate and Finchley take on Sutton United in the FA Trophy.
Wingate and Finchley were two separate clubs until 1991. Wingate were established after the Second World War by four Jewish sportsmen who believed football was a positive way to fight anti-Semitism. However, in 1972 they lost their ground thanks to the extension of the M1 motorway and although near neighbours, Finchley came to the rescue with a ground share arrangement, eventually the two clubs merged. They both now play at this famous old ground with its 1930’s Art Deco stand – a groundhoppers dream.
Unlike Sutton, I’ve been to the grandly named Abrahams Stadium a couple of times and things definitely seem to be on the up. They have refurbished their bar and seem to have a thriving youth team policy with lots of youngsters in team tracksuits. However, their fans were easily outnumbered by Sutton supporters. Being so close to Arsenal, Barnet and Enfield, the club struggle to reach crowds of three figures. The Sutton attendance of 149 easily the best of the season. As for the game, it was excellent and Wingate and Finchley’s youngsters should have won it. Still, they made sure in the replay, going through to the next round on penalties.
While I was freezing in North London, a small delegation from our club’s management committee were in Holland to check out Rijnsburgse Boys, who play in a small town near Amsterdam and have recently built a new stadium similar to the one proposed for us at Arbour Vale. Slough general secretary Roy Merryweather explained the reason for the visit: “Rijnburgse Boys play at a similar standard to Slough, but the main difference is that they are supported by large crowds and are really a thriving part of the local community.” Roy was joined by Chris Sliski and programme editor Glen Riley, who is apparently ‘concerned with projecting the image of the football club’, which if you see the state of Glen is a bit worrying!
Roy added: “If football is going to go forward in this country, we need to modernise and have facilities fit for the 21st century. If we don’t, crowds will continue dwindling and football clubs won’t be the centre of attraction for a town. We need to reach out to a bigger audience and give clubs a stronger chance of success. We want a community base and hub in the town, which will also encompass a wide range of recreational facilities for things like boxing, gymnastics, ballroom dancing — anything active.”
For me the visit to Holland again shows how far our club has moved in the right direction. That if we do end up at Arbour Vale, it will be more than just a football stadium but a sports hub for the whole town.
If we don’t take these lessons on board then we could end up in the same boat as Wingate FC and Finchley FC who had to merge to make ends meet. It’s up to all non league clubs to play a pivotal role in the local community and do what they can to attract new supporters like Natasha and her brother Rafi away from the child snatching claws of the Chelsea and Man United’s of this world!

ITS GOOD TO TALK

2008-12-17T12:55:00.001Z

Printed in the Southern League South and West match v AFC Totton. A
decent 0-0 draw against the league leaders. Crowd 256

What is it with football owners and their inability to keep supporters
on board? I suppose businessman used to doing things their own way
have problems having to answer for their decisions. But answer they
have too – or the results can be disastrous.
Take Lewes. Not so long ago I held them up as models of how a football
club should be run. Then near the end of last season I got two phone
calls before the game where Lewes would be crowned champions and
promoted to the Blue Square Premier. I couldn’t quite believe what I
was hearing. The board had sacked their most successful manager ever.
Now Steve King isn’t the most likeable manager, with his constant
Wenger-esque whinging. But why was he sacked? Hand in the till? Hand
in someone’s knickers? Er, no. As one Lewes director put it "At no
time has Steve King been asked to get us promotion. He's created the
problem, if you like - and I don't mean this in a negative way -
because he's been so successful." That’s right, sacked for being too
successful!
For me the failure of the Lewes board was that they didn’t hold their
hands up and admit that promotion to the Blue Square Premier was a
step too far. It also says something about a league where too many
clubs have bankrupted themselves to try and compete. So it worth it?
At the last Lewes game I went too, the security creep of numb-knuckle
heads with stupid rules was all too evident. The sacking of King led
to a mass exodus of players they probably couldn’t afford anyway. It
also led to an exodus of support, including some of the most vocal
ones that really got the atmosphere going. And even with all the
ground improvements, much more was needed – a million pounds worth I
heard. Now I’m all for improving stadium for the spectator but once
again was ground grading going to cripple a club?
It isn’t always easy for chairman to let people know what’s going on -
even supporter-run clubs end up with battles and bust ups. When your
clubs not doing well, people are quick out with the knives. But surely
the message must always be more open. Supporters aren’t shareholders,
and the majority aren’t morons either. What if the Lewes board had
come clean and told everyone of their predicament – getting everyone
on board for a backs-against-the-wall siege mentality to try and raise
the cash and fight against a season of certain relegation?
Thankfully Slough Town, after many a cloak and dagger season, have got
Chairman Steve Easterbrook on board who has embraced the Glasnost
approach. People still moan, but then as I pointed out to one
supporter, if a load of naked woman turned up at his house with a
million quid, he’d still find something to complain about.
As for Lewes, they are rooted to the bottom of the Conference, lost at
home in the FA Cup to a team five leagues below them, and recently
recorded the lowest ever away support at Torquay United – five! They
are now up for sale. A Supporters Trust has been set up and hopefully
the attractive football that drew so many to the Pan will return and
the community work they have been so successful with will continue.
It’s good to aim for the stars but not if it destroys the club. With
the risk of annoying Lewes fans, maybe, just maybe the Blue Square
South and Ryman Premier is where they really belong.

A HOME TO BE PROUD OF

2008-11-30T11:15:00.001Z

Published in the Southern South and West League game v Winchester
City. Slough beat the bottom club 4-0 in front of 250 very cold
supporters.

I make no apologies for forgetting about football in this column (well
we have had a forgettable last couple of months). Instead I’m going to
tell you about my dads amazing new flat. So what? Well this isn’t any
ordinary flat, nor is it a room in a ‘care home for the elderly.’ No
this is state of the art apartment, where my dad can ‘live
independently but within a supportive environment.’ And what an
environment! And what support!

There’s a spacious restaurant, where lunch is included in the rent
meaning everyone has to come down and socialize at dinner time and not
be stuck in their flats never seeing a soul. Visitors can also eat
there –before the Bracknell game I had poached egg on toast for 50p!
Next to the restaurant is a lounge overlooking the garden. There’s a
gym, a hairdressers, library, cinema, shop, and guest rooms for people
when they are visiting. The residents are encouraged to get involved
in the running of the place and rooms are also available for hire, so
different groups can use the space and make the place part of the
community, rather than a gated ‘old-people only’ community. The place
is wardened and there is always a nurse on hand with each resident
having an individual care package tailored to suit their needs. On top
of this is incredibly friendly and helpful staff.

The home at Northampton Avenue is part of Sloughs Extra Care housing
and is built on the site of the old Centre swimming pool in front of
Herschel school. It’s a partnership between Slough Council and the
charity Hanover Housing and another one is being built at the top end
of the Wexham Road. Although rent is expensive, my dad isn’t rich or
has money stashed away in the Cayman Islands, so with the right advice
and plenty of form filling he should have enough to get by.

I also have to sing the praises of all the council workers I have
dealt with, who have bent over backwards to help my dad and I’m sure
are sick of the sound of my voice. This is in stark contrast to the
utilities and private companies who try and rip people off at every
opportunity, and could take a leaf out of the council’s social
services department’s ability to communicate properly.

I really wonder how people are meant to cope, especially older people,
with the relentless amount of paperwork and bureaucracy that’s needed
to get by in our society, especially when moving home. When my dad was
first getting grief from a particularly unpleasant occupational
therapist, the council told me to contact Age Concern. Like a lot of
older people, my dad was insistent he didn’t need help from anybody.
Age Concern sent along Rashpal Singh who was so persuasive without
being pushy my dad relented and started to access services and money
he was entitled too. Rash has taken him to appointments when me or my
brother can’t get time off work, knowing where to go and who to
contact, generally just being there for him.

Getting old doesn’t always look much fun – but with more Extra Care
supportive housing the loneliness and isolation many older people
suffer, can be a thing of the past. Slough Council are apparently
trailblazers when it comes to support for the elderly, so if
Betjeman’s bombs ever do fall in Slough, I hope they miss this amazing
new housing development that all the residents of Slough should be
extremely proud of.

We hate Wycombe - still!

2008-11-10T10:24:00.000Z

Printed in the Southern League South and West match v Bishops Cleeve Saturday 8th November 2008. We drew 1-1 in front of 195 people. Bishops equalized in the 94th minute, which means we have lost 8 points at home this season by conceding goals in the last 5 minutes of the match!

There’s been lots of talk recently about our old rivals Wycombe Wanderers. Our games against them were always something to look forward too, if not always memorable – but that was usually due to my alcohol consumption rather than a comment on the game! The first and only time I got on the back of a motorbike was to get a lift to watch one of the last games against Slough on their famous slopped pitch. There was a game on New Years Day which me and still regular supporter Damian went too. Everyone had been partying hard the night before and with very little sleep, if any, I have no idea of the score or what happened. Then there was that almighty ding-dong when we were challenging for the Conference title. My local pub the Wheatsheaf was full of Slough supporters up for travelling to the big games – with unofficial coach trips to Colchester, Reading and Wycombe. The problem was getting people to leave the bloody pub and so inevitably we always arrived late. Usually that wasn’t a problem, but at Wycombe the ground was full to bursting, so a few of us more determined ones jumped over the fence while the less nimble watched from the hill side. The official attendance was 7,230 but unofficially it was a lot more and was the record Conference crowd for many years.
Since those heady days, we have been in free fall and Wycombe have even reached the dizzy heights of League Two. So do I feel envious or want to swap places with the old enemy? As crazy as it might sound, the answer is a resounding no. My chauffer and man with the big lens Gary House reckons it will be weird enough if we do get a ground back in Slough and start attracting the large crowds I know we are capable off. No doubt club shop Sue will come up with a marketing opportunity to get us to part with more of our money – how about limited edition t-shirts proclaiming – ‘we were the Slough fans when we were crap!’ (But will it be like the first ever Sex Pistols gig with everyone claiming they were there?) With gates hovering around 300 and half of those willing to travel to away games, you do get to meet most people over a season. I know when I’ve taken my son Ruben to games, he has plenty of unofficial aunts and uncles, along with other feral Rebel children to keep him amused when he’s bored of the footie.
League football has too many rules and regulations, segregation and fan-baiting rather than friendly banter in the bar. Even the Conference (sorry, Blue Square Premier) seems overpriced and over-policed. Our trip to Gravesend a few seasons back in the Trophy said it all. Putting all Slough supporters on a bit of uncovered terracing in the pouring rain didn’t seem to be in the spirit of non league footie. Neither did being surrounded and monitored by stewards throughout the whole game. Still shrinking violet Sue certainly let the stewards know she thought they were being overzealous!
No, Wycombe can keep their league position, their ground stuck at the end of an industrial park; their overpriced and over policed league footie. Non League footie suits me just fine. Infact the only thing I would keep is the rivalry between the two clubs – Windsor just don’t come a patch on it. So lets hope a couple of Wycombe relegations can see us playing each other in the Blue Square South sometime soon.

WHAT A PLONKER

2008-11-05T09:57:00.000Z

Published in the Southern League South and West game v AFC Hayes 4th November 2008. We lost 3-2 in front of 208 people and are now two
points off the relegation spot.

Mobiles, email, internet forums, off-your-facebook, MySpace, YouDrivel
– so many avenues of communication where you can have your say. But
there seems to be a serious design fault with all of these. The
failure of the computer geeks to put in a plonker button that disables
threads and stops the idiots that plague website forums across the
world in their tracks. Or what about a devise that acts as a
breathalyser where it can smell if you have had too much to drink, and
stop your post until the morning when you can reconsider it in the
cold, sober light of day.
For those of you who never browse the Slough Town web boards, these
past few weeks have been very busy indeed. Despite a club that’s been
rejuvenated from basket-case to one with a fighting future, there’s no
pleasing some people. And that’s ok, within reason. I’m all for free
speech, but some people don’t seem to have the clubs best interests at
heart. They say – I pay me money, I have a right to say as I please,
even if that right damages the club.
I remember ex manager Eddie Denton moaning about our forum; just how
was he meant to convince players to sign for us when their first port
of call for checking their potential new club will be its forum. The
abuse, the squabbling, and the attack on players – no thanks, I’ll go
elsewhere.
Former Oxford United Manager Jim Smith went on the warpath, blaming
football forums for making everyone a manager and then there’s the
radio phone-in where anyone with a big gob and little understanding of
football can mouth off.
Don’t get me wrong; giving supporters a voice is a good thing. I was
involved in one of the Slough Town fanzines ‘Rebels Without A Clue’
which was part of the wave of independent football fanzines that
started demanding a right to be heard and has culminated in the
Supporters' Trust movement and fans run clubs.
But some of the stuff I read on our forum is just childish,
destructive dross. If you’ve got a beef about something or a question,
why not speak to officials, the players and managers in the bar after
the game? Is that so difficult? I also think people forget that we are
playing eight levels below the bloody Premiership, with part time
management and players who have a life, family and jobs outside Slough
Town. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t aim to be professional, but
let’s not demand the impossible.
It’s worth remembering that people have off days at work – and that
includes players. Would you like to have your bad day at work
criticised and splashed across a forum the next day?
For the 33 per cent of the population who have never used a computer,
this article will seem irrelevant. But for everyone, computer literate
or not, if you think something needs sorting at the club, get involved
to make it happen. Mouthing off and ranting crap on a computer might
make you feel great, but take a look in the mirror and make sure you
don’t have the words plonker staring back at you.

IN THE STOCKS

2008-10-26T09:52:00.001Z

Published in the Southern League South and West match v Truro City. Saturday 25th October 2008. We drew 3-3, conceding in the last minute to a team who have only shipped 6 goals this season and are favourites for the title. Crowd 295.

With economic recession now sweeping the globe, I have an idea of how to attract more people to our games. Let’s patrol the mean streets of South Bucks and round up those wealthy bankers who’ve got us in such as mess, and put them in the stocks before the game so people can throw rotten veg at them. OK, it might seem to harp back to medieval times, but with seemingly no laws for ripping off whole economies, it seems only fair.
Being questioned in Washington Richard Fuld, boss of the bankrupt Lehman Brothers said he felt "horrible." The chair began questioning him "Your company is now bankrupt and our country is in a state of crisis. You get to keep $480m. Is that fair?" Lehman also gets to keep his houses including a $14m ocean-front villa in Florida and one in an exclusive ski resort, plus an art collection filled with million dollar paintings. I’m sure he does feel "horrible."
We have become blinded by a wealthy elite, but as the economy goes down the pan, the super rich won’t face redundancy, be clobbered by fuel bills, or lose their houses. No they walk away with millions.
This sort of behaviour isn’t really surprising when you consider that in law, the corporation is considered a "person." But what kind of person? Using the World Health Organisation's checklist for personality types, Joel Bakan, author of The Corporation, concludes that it has the personality of a psychopath! It has a callous disregard for the feelings and safety of others; deceitfulness; an incapacity to experience guilt; failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviour. Infact shareholder profit is its only motivation.
The problem for football is that these psychopaths are in charge of our clubs and running and ruining the game. At QPR Britain's richest man Lakshmi Mittal owns the club with Formula One bosses Bernie Ecclestone and Flavio Briatore. Season tickets prices have gone up 50% and increase are now planned for match day tickets. They recently tried to charge visiting Derby fans £40 to watch a game until the Football League stepped in. Man United asked QPR if they wanted to make the tickets for the league cup match cheaper but the QPR board declined. Still QPR fans can now dine in the grounds own Cipriani restaurant, with Briatore declaring that QPR would host "boutique football". Hello? "It's like... if you have a hotel, a boutique hotel, that only has 50 rooms, while a grand hotel has 400 rooms. We only have 20,000 seats, and we will offer the best service to the fans... you know, it's going to look amazing."
QPR’s Loyal Supporters Association issued a statement saying they are against all forms of discrimination - including discrimination on economic grounds. “We feel the club is excluding a section of our fans who are no longer able to pay the very high prices asked. It may also be a very short sighted policy, given that the economy is in recession, people are losing their jobs and inflation is rocketing. People may make the choice in these hard times to stop paying high prices to watch a live match.” But then these loyal but poor fans are hardly who the new owners want to come and see the new "boutique football" on offer.
So if you fed up with being ripped off come and see Slough play instead. Cheap footie watched from the terraces – you might even be able to grab yourself a cup of Bovril if you ask nicely, and get to throw some rotten veg at some psychopathic bankers.

FINANCIAL RELEGATION

2008-10-12T09:19:00.000Z

Printed in the Southern League South and West match v Uxbridge
Saturday 11th October 2008. After winning 3 games on the trot and
being eighth in the league, we go and lose 2-1 in front of 293
people.

The collapse of the financial markets, thanks to a casino of greed and
short term gain, isn’t so very different from the way many of our
football clubs are run. Alan Sugar once remarked that many of the
chairman that run footie clubs are like the bloke who blows all his
money in a weekend, then spends the rest of his life paying back for
the blow-out.
So will the collapse of the financial system affect football? Already
Liverpool’s plans for a new ground are on hold; but then the two
Liverpool owners bought the club with banks money not their own, and
banks aren’t so keen on lending cash to anyone at the moment.
West Brom have no shirt sponsor, while Aston Villa has donated its
shirt rights to Acorns, a children's hospice. Meanwhile both West Ham
and Manchester United have lost their shirt sponsors; Man United now
presumably sponsored by the American government who have taken over
AIG, the world's biggest insurance company. Does that mean that anyone
who dares beat them will have President Bush threatening a missile
attack for having the cheek to damage the United brand? Will offending
referees be carted off to Guantanamo Bay?
While not related to the credit crunch the story of Gretna Town is
just another example of how suicidal it is to hedge your bets and rely
on one mans cash. Non league is littered with these examples – Colne
Dynamos, Telford United, Hornchurch….
Which is why it is important we all join the Slough Town Supporters
Trust.
Granted we’ve finally got a chair and management team who have knocked
order and financial stability into the club, but rather than holding
out a continuous begging bowl we need as many streams of income as
possible. Of course this is difficult without your own ground, but
just as we are getting it right on the pitch (and isn’t it nice to be
enjoying football again!), it’s just as important we are getting it
right off the pitch as well. The Supporters Trust have a pivotal role
to play in this.
This season the Trust have sponsored the Under 18’s. Have paid the
costs for the first team and Under 18’s to train at the Polish club.
They run the 50/50 and 500 draw. They organise and subsidize coach
travel to away games as well as put on occasional events and of course
the annual sponsored walk.
If things ever go tits up we probably can’t expect to be bailed out by
the government (isn’t it ironic, all these financial companies that
lobbied hard to have all restrictions lifted on them so they could do
as these please, now need government support. I also love the way
these people equate the interests of the financial sector with the
interests of everyone else – yes getting a million pound bonus really
does help me out. Thanks). But if things go wrong the Trust are also
in position to take over the running of the club.
We are in the midst of an unprecedented financial meltdown, with the
world markets collapsing around us. Perhaps supporting a football team
seems a bit frivolous during the coming times but as one supporter
pronounced "Obviously, if people lose their jobs, some will have to
give up going to the match if they need the money to feed their kids.
Mind you, I'm not one of them!"

* To join the Trust go to the Trust hut before our home games. And
don’t forget to throw your loose change into the collecting buckets on
the way out.

THE PANTOMIME SEASON HAS BEGUN

2008-09-21T19:01:00.001Z

Printed in the Southern League South and West Division match v
Cirenester Town Saturday 20th September 2008. We won 3-2 in front of
263 people and are now 10th in the league.

Manchester City have always been a club that likes a bit of panto, so
it’s a match made in heaven to have been sold by ex Thai Prime
Minister Thaksin with a frozen bank account to a bloke who makes Roman
Abromivich look like a street beggar.

City's new owner, Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahya is set to use
Manchester City as a battering ram to improve football in the Gulf and
enhance the international reputation of the United Arab Emirates. His
big mouth spokesman Dr Al Fahim's said that he hoped "the purchase of
City will help raise the profile of Abu Dhabi” and just to make sure
that we knew they meant business he offered £135m for Ronaldo. Fahim
is behind TV show Hydra Executives, loosely modelled on The
Apprentice, but with a prize of a million dollars dwarfing the
unenviable chance to Alan Sugar being your boss. There are big plans
for it be shown in America and the UK.

The Sheikh was apparently swayed by Man City thanks to an 83-page
blueprint, ‘A New Model for Partnership in Football.’ Behind the
document is former Nike executive Garry Cook, who was recruited by
Thaksin earlier in the summer. Cook was appalled at the poor marketing
of City and has big plans to change that. How about a partnership with
Red Bull to bring out drinks like City Powered and some designer
clothing stores. Tapping into the Indian market bringing out a range
of cars and branded motorcycle helmets. Or the Chinese market with
China Mobile and City-branded phone cards. Cook also said City should
be signing superstars for their commercial properties alone,
regardless of footballing considerations and criticized manager Mark
Hughes for being in his comfort zone.

Cook also reckons the Premier League should be reduced to ten elite
clubs with no relegation – even if that would leave the club he
supposedly supports Birmingham City, in the cold. As for working for
Thaksin, a man who has been described by Human Rights Watch as a
"human rights abuser of the worst kind", Cook said " Is he a nice guy?
Yes. Is he a great guy to play golf with? Yes. Does he have plenty of
money to run a football club? Yes. I really care only about those
three things.’’

Somewhere amongst all this is the game of football. With managers
already walking because of interfering chairman, the Sheikh will no
doubt expect nothing less than success – especially when the bloody
marketing man is already having a pop! Meanwhile Premier League boss
Richard Scudamore talks of the leagues 'virtuous circle' describing
last seasons as “arguably, our most compelling competition yet.” Yeah
right, none of us saw Man United and Chelsea in the top two and
Liverpool and Arsenal occupying the other Champions League spot.

We all love a bit of panto and City might have just stumbled into
Aladdin’s cave, so does any of this matter? I reckon it does. We’ve
come to the point where you now need to find a billionaire Sheikh to
able to muscle into the big four. But it is the Peter Pan economics of
Never land where relegation needs to be abolished so the brand isn’t
damaged. Any ambition of reaching the top is over for the majority of
football clubs. But football thrives on competition, unpredictability,
on the underdogs occasionally winning. Instead all that has been
replaced by clubs becoming brands, where owning one is a vehicle to
exert political muscle.

Problem is that if you take away the competition in football just what
have you got left?

TRAVEL SICKNESS

2008-08-26T19:26:00.001Z

Printed in the Southern League South and West league game v Thatcham Town Monday 25^th August 2008. A 1-1 draw in front of 278 with Thatcham equalizing in the eighth minute of injury time!

I know beggars can’t be choosers, but some of the travelling this season is ridiculous. I’m not having a pop at Truro, but surely at this level, travelling should be kept to a minimum.

The pyramid has been a wonderful thing for the non-league game. Successful clubs can rise and rise until they ‘do a Wimbledon’ and gatecrash the big four in the Premiership (Oh, sorry that sort of nonsense was stopped by the Premiership rules which says you must have a dodgy foreign owner in order to win the league).

It’s mad enough that in the Blue Square Premier the part-timers of Barrow will be travelling to the part-timers of Lewes, let alone that four leagues below them Slough have long trips to Cinderford and Bridgwater.

I know there is always going to be problems for clubs out on a geographically limb, but with oil prices rising and the knock on effect that has with everything going up (except wages, where the poor must eat gruel, while the super rich must be not be allowed to pay any taxes in case they up sticks and go and live elsewhere) travelling is becoming a serious expense for clubs already struggling to make ends meet.

OK, some Slough fans will argue that the Oxfordshire and the South West is preferable to the M25. Well, actually shopping at Tesco’s is preferable to a journey on the M25 (maybe not) but that’s not the point.

I think one way of overcoming some of the problems is creating a Blue Square Midlands, although knowing our luck we would win a couple of promotions and be shoved in it for a laugh. Ideally the Blue Square Premier should be regionalised as well, but that’s never going to happen until lots more clubs go bust and Altrincham get a relegation reprieve for the 12^th year running.

I know its exciting going to new places after years of Boreham Wood and Billericay.

And quite frankly a trip to Truro beats a day out at Windsor’s Slug Meadow any day of the week (well maybe not a weekday as we’d all have to take two days off work just to get to Cornwall and back, and wouldn’t we laugh if the game was called off!). But can we have some common sense, so we don’t see the first club go bust cos they can’t afford their transport bills.

Maybe Slough can find an oil baron to sponsor us? I’ve heard the Saudi Arabian monarchy are looking to invest in English football teams to help present themselves in a more favourable light. If the ex Thai Prime Minister can pass the football leagues ‘fit and proper’ test, then no doubt a few more authoritarian human rights abusers should be ok.

Maybe Anil the coachdriver, can convert the supporters coach to run on chip-fat – there must be enough old buckets of the stuff lying around footie grounds to keep his coach running for years. Or maybe we can just suck the chip and burger fat directly out of the stomachs of those rotund non league fans that want to loose a few pounds and will do anything to help keep their local football club alive.

REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL

2008-08-17T07:01:00.001Z

Printed in the Southern League South and West Division league game v Burnham Saturday 16^th August 2008. A fast and furious 2-2 draw in front of 315 - our best league gate for quite a while.

So at last our luck seems to have changed. Instead of having to play at our lowest ever level, Slough Town Football Club got a reprieve thanks to Halifax Town going into administration. We didn’t get relegated. We won’t be playing in the FA Vase or the Dog and Duck Division 12. Instead, it’s as your were, staying put in the Southern League South and West section.

It was strange that last game of the season. We lost to Fleet, yet as the Fleet players huddled in the middle to celebrate a play off place, it was the Slough players who were cheered off by at least 200 Rebels in attendance, fifteen of them who had walked 26 long miles to get there.

Let’s be honest. We deserved to be relegated, and each season clubs get a reprieve I feel that it can’t be right, especially with teams like Altrincham cheating relegation for the third season in a row. But what the heck. We deserve a bit of luck after 10 years of gloriously nose diving into oblivion.

But you must also earn your luck. After years of financial mismanagement which started long before we lost our ground at Wexham Park, we have got a chairman and committee who have started putting the building blocks in place to run a sustainable, successful, community run football club. Sometimes you just need to hit rock bottom to make some serious root and branch reform.

And about bloody time too! So with the new season upon us, I approach it with anticipation and hope that we won’t be in another relegation battle and could even reach the dizzy heights of the top half of the table.

The reasons to be cheerful?

Youth Team. A new Slough Town youth team playing in the Allied Counties League. A stepping stone into the first team; a chance to hold onto some of our promising youngsters.

Stall in the Observatory. For over five weeks this is a wonderful way of raising the profile of the club. I spent a couple of hours watching all comers, taking fixture lists, chatting to the stall holders, trying to attract business sponsorship and generally reminding people that Slough Town FC exist.

Lottery. A regular steady income raising cash for the club – and a chance to pocket some money yourself. Go on, it’s only a fiver a month standing order.

Meetings in the Herschel. Following the successful end of season bash in the friendly town centre pub, get togethers have taken place during the closed season. The landlord Tom has sponsored today’s game, and its got to be a good thing to have a presence in the town, again reminding people that Slough actually has a football club!

Adverts in Slough Observer. Opening the local paper to a full page coloured advert for the club. Brilliant – with apparently more to come. There are also match day posters available for people to put up in their local shops and pubs.

Season ticket promotion and sales. Luring us with a chance to win a thousand quid if we bought our season tickets before the end of July was a masterstroke. To date ticket sales are 136 compared to 82 last season – a 65% increase for a team that’s been relegated twice in two seasons!

Local Radio. Time106 FM will be promoting and covering all Slough’s matches this season, with regular news, information, promotions, match reports and interviews.

Supporters Trust. The Trust continues to back the club and at its recent AGM agreed to donate £1,500 to Slough Town juniors to help pay for match fees at Beaconsfield and £800 to pay the training fee facilities’ for the first team and the junior team at the Polish club. So don’t forget to renew your sub and throw any loose change into the collecting buckets at the end of the game.

The proposed new ground at Arbour Vale. Watch this space!

Our chairman. Final word must go to Steve Easterbrook who has brought his professionalism to the club. Steve is approachable and not afraid to get his hands dirty such as helping to run the Observatory stall.

So here’s too the new season – well it can’t be as bad as the last two can it? And it’s not just because I’ve got fingers crossed and blind optimism that I think we will do alright, but because of lots of bloody hard work that’s been happening behind the scenes over the past few months.

END OF THE ROAD

2008-04-14T09:18:00.001Z

Published in the last home game of the season v Godalming Town Sat 12^th April 2008. We won 3-2 in front of 205 people, which means we ain’t relegated just yet!

Well it’s the end of another season, or at least our last home game of the season. And whereas last season we really were the leagues basket-case club, this time it’s been different - hasn’t it?!

OK, for much of the time the team has we’ve been woeful and relegation and a run in the FA Vase next season looks very likely. Infact the situation is so desperate we are now relying on a team going bust or another bout of non league re-organisation to save us from relegation into the Dog and Duck league. Not that I’ve got anything against dogs or ducks, no football club has a right to be in any league, you have to earn it and having no ground, six managers and over 100 players in two seasons was never going to be a recipe for success.

As I look at my notes for last seasons final home game I said “Will we have a decent squad to compete? What will our playing budget be? Where will the club be playing? Will there be any news on a move back to Slough? Will be have an exciting FA Cup run? Will we have more local lads playing? Will Sue really set up a tequlla bar in the club shop when she takes over as club shop manager? And will we still have a club to support!”

Well off the playing field things have changed dramatically. For starters we are at Beaconsfield, a bit further away than Windsor but at least its on the Slough Road and has got some covered terracing and a bar that sells beer that’s drinkable. We’ve got Arbour Vale as a possible new ground back in the town. A successful businessman has taken over as chairman, who seems to have his head screwed on rather than our former one whose heads shall we say politely seemed to be as much in the clouds as one of his ideas for a new ground. There’s a new management committee and lots of new iniatitives to raise make the club a bit more sustainable. Meanwhile Sue has been on a club-shop sales pitch roll that would make Alan Sugar proud.

After today, we’ve got 3 really important games. Us supporters can help make a big difference – so i hope as many of you travel to the Isle of Wight, Bridgwater and Fleet to make some noise and help the players pull off a mirarcle and stop us being relegated again.

In fact, once again the supporters have picked up plaudits along the way and really it is amazing when i’m on a nearly full coach to Bridgwater with plenty of others travelling by car and train when we’ve had nothing much too shout about for the past two seasons apart from how incredibly crap we’ve been.

Still football is full of ups and downs. As John Tebbit’s mentioned recently in the programme in his ‘Legends’ series; in the early sixties Slough Town were lucky to get 100 through the turnstiles. A few successful seasons and thousands started to come. Just look at clubs like Dartford, Leamington, Maidstone, Chelmsford – clubs that have lost their grounds or gone bust, now rising up the leagues. But these clubs have done it through lots of hard graft and we know that’s what lies ahead for us.

I leave the last word to a friend who came along to that Wimbledon game last season when we got thrashed 9-0 but refused to stop partying "Amazing spirit in the Slough camp. Here you are on the worst defeat of the worst season in your history joking, non-stop singing, having a party, supporting the team through it all. None of the blank faces, depression, whinging, getting on your team's back, sack everyone etc. The Rebels can't fail to return with support like that."

It’s a long way back, but the ever optimistic in me says that one day we will again be a force in non league football. Now I just need to get my map out to see where the hell London Tigers and Oxhey Jets play.

BECOME A MANAGER? YOU MUST BE MAD

2008-04-06T13:47:00.000Z

Printed in the Southern League South and West League match v Oxford City Saturday 5^th April 2008. We lost 2-1 and are now five points adrift and looking certain for relegation. Crowd 198

Seriously, who would want to be a football manager? More to the point after our sixth manager in two seasons, surely you’d have to have a screw loose to want to manage Slough Town?

Steven King, the manager of Lewes, who has made moaning about officials into an art-form, must be scratching his head in disbelief about calls for his head by some supporters on their message board. They’d just lost but they were still second in the league, playing attractive football, gates pushing 800 (with about a third of these children), announcements about more football in the community schemes, massive ground improvements and knocking on the door of the Blue Square Premier. What more do supporters want? No doubt those calling for his head were not amongst the 40 odd fans who spent the season nearly eight years ago watching Lewes facing relegation from Ryman Division Three and almost certain oblivion.

Dario Gradi is the longest serving manager in the football league, managing Crewe for 25 years, but has faced criticism from some Crewe fans. OK the last few seasons haven’t been great, but Crewe survive on unearthing new players and selling them on as their gates are pretty pitiful. Before his arrival they were another bottom of the pile football league basket cases along with the likes of Rochdale and Workington. As Sir Alex Ferguson pointed out : "It's quite easy for me because I've got the motivation of being at a big club with big games every week but Dario has had to be there for over 20 years producing and selling players from his conveyor belt of talent. They've had to rely on that for financial stability but they've sold players time and time again and he still goes in every morning rebuilding. It's a fantastic job he's done, quite amazing. I'm sure he could have left Crewe millions of times so it just impresses me how lucky Crewe are to have a manager like him. He enjoys the challenge of producing young players and I think that is his main motivation."

When Sunderland manager Roy Keane was asked if he enjoyed being a manager recently he replied no. The interviewer continued 'It must be satisfying?' 'I get very little satisfaction from it.' Why do it?' 'I'm not sure. It's obviously a madness. You do it for the challenge. It's in you. It's a buzz. When I stopped playing I thought I could relax. But then I got this challenge from Sunderland. And I enjoy the challenge, even if I get very little satisfaction from it. Maybe a five-minute taste when we win a game. That's why managers are old before they know it. What I love is being in a team game, being part of a team with coaching, medical and scouting staff.'

Supporters have short memories, chairman want quick results, players complain when they are not playing. One week you are a hero, the next you don’t know what you’re doing.

And yet there is never a shortage of those who want to take up the hot-seat.

But Keane hit the nail on the head, it must be being part of a team, especially after you have spent years playing, it comes to an end and all of a sudden choices on a Saturday include being dragged round the shops.

I feel sorry for Betsy and Barney. They started to turn things around off the pitch putting everyone on the same wages, introducing a rule that if you didn’t train you didn’t get a game yet once they were officially appointed the slide towards relegation continued.

And what about Wilko, a Slough legend as a player, who didn’t leave much of a legacy as a Slough Town manager.

So let’s hope new boss Derek Sweetman can stop us being relegated to the Dog and Duck. If he does, he’ll be praised to the hilt. And then, it will be a new season and new demands. Us Slough fans will be expecting at least mid-table or maybe even a play-off fight. Anything less and no doubt people will be getting on the managers back. As they say “You don’t have to be mad to work here, but it helps.”

COME ON YOU GREENS

2008-03-27T17:53:00.001Z

Published in the Southern League South and West match v Windsor and Eton Easter Monday 24^th March 2008. We lost 1-0 in front of 260.

I know that it’s a long way off but if we do get a new ground let’s make sure it will be as green as the grass we play on. The Arbour Vale site gives us the perfect opportunity to make the club greener than Kermit’s bum, with plenty of grants available to help make it happen. The fact that it is next to a school, a field and some houses that are part of the redevelopment plans, there should no complaints about noisy wind turbines or festering compost bins – unless the noise and smell wake the dead at Slough Crematorium. Not only would some bold energy conservation measures tick lots of planning boxes (Slough Borough Council tell us they are “committed to making the town a cleaner, safer and greener environment for its residents”), it would in the long term cut costs, and with ever rising fuel bills this is something that should be given serious consideration.

Dartford’s new home was the world’s first custom-built eco-friendly football stadium. I know some Slough councilors have visited and it really is something to aspire too. Features include a living green roof which keeps in the heat and provides a natural air filtration system. Solar Panels providing electricity for the community changing and public toilets hot water storage cylinders. Reclaimed rainwater collected in two vast ponds and used for the loos and the pitch. The place is also heavily insulated, there’s under floor heating (be nice to have some under the terraces!) and low energy lightings.

Other examples include Manchester City’s stadium which has the world’s first football wind turbine powering not only the stadium but also up to 1,250 local homes. They serve up local food and encourage fans to use public transport. Germany’s SC Freiburg roofs are packed with solar panels generating electricity equivalent to the annual power consumption of 800 homes. Infact in Germany every public bin - including at football stadiums - is divided into four sections: paper, cans, plastic and general waste. And anyone who collects bottles and cans for recycling earns cashback.

So what could Slough do to lessen the environmental impact at the proposed new ground? The main drawback to Beaconsfield is the fact that it is so far away from Slough that driving is the only options unless you want to chance the crap bus service. The proposed new ground will be near the City Centre and many fans will be able to walk. Maybe there could be a link up with the local bus service to take people to the ground near kick off time with reduced rates for those producing a bus ticket. Or maybe for those of us planning a walking pub crawl to the ground, we could get a free beer in the clubhouse for drinking and not driving? How about some decent local sourced food being served up, washed down with some local real ale. It would also be nice to ditch all the plastic cups, plates etc that seem to blight every football stadium. Some decent recycling areas wouldn’t go a miss and what about composting bins? The Northwich Victoria’s groundsman apparently uses old dried tea bags to repair pitch damage!

If we do end up at Arbour Vale, I hope we get a stadium that is a bit more than another identikit soulless mechano set. As one Dartford fan wrote about their new ground “It's not often that a whole community can be proud of one, specific local initiative but in Princes Park we have something that is, not only truly exceptional, but a local development we can honestly be immensely proud of.” Now that’s got to be something to aim for at Slough.

MEETING THE GRADE

2008-03-23T07:18:00.005Z

Published in the Southern League South and West game v Burnham Saturday 22^nd March 2008. We lost 3-0 in sunshine and blizzards. Had our sixth new manager in two seasons and are deep into relegation trouble. Dog and Duck League here we come!

It’s that ‘squeaky bum’ time of the year where teams across the country are worrying about relegation and promotion – and for those of us in the non league pryamind, ground grading rules and regulations.

Already the Blue Square are welding the big stick threatening clubs with relegation if they haven’t got their grounds up to scratch and throughout the non league pyramid, every club seems to have a ground grading horror story.

Many moons ago, Slough finished eighth in the Conference. Unfortunately we didn’t have the required number seats in our stand, it went to a vote and we were booted out of the league.

Evesham United were ground sharing at Worcester City when they were told by the Southern League that they would not be promoted because Worcester’s ground wasn’t up to scratch. Forget the fact that Worcester were playing two leagues higher in the Conference and had passed their ground grading rules! Mind you the reason for rejection was a serious one – there were gaps under advertising boards surrounding the pitch!

Many moons ago when Wealdstone were playing their home games at Watford’s Vicarage Road, they had to have their own portable dugouts because the Football League club’s dugouts weren’t deemed suitable by the Southern League.

When Yeovil Town moved to their new ground in the mid 1990's, the Isthmian League apparently had to think twice before passing the ground fit for their Premier Division as there was no covered terracing, even though there were five thousand covered seats!

Walton Casuals originally failed ground grading because the seats in their new stand weren’t numbered! Instead of allowing them to number the seats while they were there officials made them wait over two months before coming back and passing the ground just a couple of weeks before the season started. Burscough have to spend £60,000 on improvements even though they are moving to a new ground. Or what about Beaconsfield and that extra set of turnstiles – when was the last time they were used?

While these stories might make us laugh, unfortunately they are not isolated incidents. Unless there are real safety issues surely flexibility should rule the day. Just what is the point in spending money on facilities that hardly anyone will ever use?

Clubs at Step 5 of the pyramid must have a capacity of 1,000 with 250 covered of which 150 must be seats. Take a club like Whitehawk (basically an estate in Brighton) whose picturesque ground has a decent covered stand but no seats - hardly necessary in crowds that average 57. But so what, they face relegation unless they build a new stand – one that will undoubtedly be as distinctive as a Tesco superstore.

Now I am all for facilities being improved for the spectator, but forcing clubs who are lucky if they get 100 people come through the gate into over the top ground improvements is ridiculous. Especially when many of these clubs should spend the time and money on improving the most important part – the pitch.

The story of Merstham just about sums it all up. A few seasons back they won promotion from the Combined Counties League only to fail the ground grading. The foundations were in place for a new stand but unfortunately the steel supplier let them down. So when the ground grading committee turned up, despite Merstham having the plans, receipts and the ground work done, they turned them down. 10 days later the stand was erected in hours so they appealed. That cut no slack with the bureaucrats who once again rejected their request, telling them there could be no exceptions with the rules and that grounds must be on budget and ready by the given date.

What, just like Wembley stadium?!

SOMETHING TO SAVOUR

2008-03-10T16:38:00.000Z

Printed in the Southern League South and West match v Paulton Rovers Saturday 8^th March 2008. A 2-1 defeat and another dismal performance in front of 204 fans (at least my son and his cousin had fun being mascots).

Well what a great couple of weeks it’s been. OK, let’s forget about the Winchester AFC Hayes and Godalming games where 90 minutes of football spoilt a good day out; that win against top of the table Fleet really was something special, something to celebrate in the Beaconsfield shed!

Afterwards as we crammed into the bar it felt like Wexham Park old days as we were introduced to our new chairman Steve Easterbrook. Steve is a retired successful businessman who said “I’ve been a supporter since I was a boy. I continued to follow the club after moving away, and reading about the team falling down the leagues over the past five years made me want to help. So I phoned Roy Merryweather (club secretary) and it went from there.” Born and bred in Slough he was educated at Langley Grammar School. “I see my role as someone who steadies the ship, gives the club some direction, financial stability, plots the course forward, gives the fans some confidence and brings a bit more commercial awareness to Slough Town.” Steve joined the club last autumn as part of the management committee and has been involved in negotiating with Slough Borough Council over plans for the new stadium at Arbour Vale.

News of his appointment comes off the back of the meeting where councillors gave the thumbs up to outline proposals for a new ground. The club now have three months to come up with concrete plans to satisfy the council. There’s a long way to go, but it was the positive response the club desperately needed from all of Sloughs strange mix of political parties.

It was good to read some good news about us for once in the Slough Observers; especially how Slough Amateur Boxing Club are really keen on the move. This isn’t surprising as they are stuck at the dilapidated old Centre Stadium building in Manor Park, Sloughs home more than sixty years ago. A new boxing facility could end up playing a part 2012 Olympic Games.

I think all Slough supporters have felt battered and bruised especially over the past few seasons so all this was something to savour. That’s not to say there hasn’t been some enjoyable times since we got thrown out of the Conference, but mainly its been stumbling from one crisis to another like some old basket-case, until we are facing the possibility of playing in the FA Vase next season!

To be truthful I nearly didn’t bother with the Fleet game myself. My chauffeur, Gary House, had flu and I couldn’t face a five hour round trip to watch certain defeat. If I didn’t need to sort out a few things for my dad, well I would have been kicking myself and any cat that came near come 5 o clock Saturday night. But football is like that. It’s why we come back for more. It’s why we scratch our heads and wonder just why we can’t play like we did against Fleet and Farnborough every week we would be hoping to be in the play-offs not battling to stop ourselves dropping into the Dog and Duck League next season.

As for us fans, well it was good to see manager Mark Betts acknowledge the supporters in the programmes interview. Losing week after week for two seasons does knock the stuffing out of you! “It’s a great motivation before kick off knowing the support they are going to receive. The lads love it being applauded off.” Well you can thank the Beaconsfield ‘shed’ for that. How much better to be on some proper terracing under cover than stung out in a line and stuck in the open at some grounds we’ve visited this season, where its very hard to get the vocal chords motivated; and as for Windsor’s picturesque morque – let’s not even go there.

If that sort of atmosphere is good for the players, it’s certainly good for hooking younger supporters. While it has been doom and gloom, reading what other clubs supporters say about us gives us a lift. Lots of ex players come and watch, Matty Miller and his dad even have season ticket holders. How many players buy season tickets to support the club! Today I’ve got my son Ruben and his cousin Liam making an appearance on the pitch. This thankfully isn’t due to another financial crisis where all the players have left, but because they are mascots. Let’s hope we can get a win, get some singing in the shed and get away from that relegation trap door.

* To read about the new ground proposal plans http://www.thisisslough.com/live/stories/story.php?story_id=3137

* For some history and photos of what happened to our old ground Wexham Park

http://www.rebelsonline.co.uk/index.asp?stid=9000619